Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Jonny is reeling after being chatted up by Louise's Dad. He decides to become more macho, but his plan backfires with shocking consequences. Louise is feeling let down by her Dad and becomes a really bad alcoholic. And Donna refuses to have Gaz's baby, leaving him only one option for getting the child he longs for.

Gaz desperately wants Donna to have a baby, but she is having none of it. To make matters worse, she comes off the pill to avoid any side-effects (not least losing her size 8 figure and having to listen to Dido). Forced into a life involving condoms, Gaz resorts to some underhanded tricks.

Jonny is having anger management issues, and after nearly hurting Janet she decides to try and help him. Nothing seems to work (including contraceptive pills, oddly enough) until Janet discovers that Corinthian is the key.

Louise thinks she might have a drinking problem and seeks help from Alcoholics Anonymous. The pub probably wasn't a good choice of venue for the meeting though.

After finally relenting to an emotional plea from Gaz, Donna agrees to have a baby, only to take the morning-after pill straight away. Gaz is distinctly non-plussed and storms out to find his heir.

With his new found zen-like serenity (and a bottle), Jonny saves Janet from a nasty situation as one of Louise's fellow alcoholics falls off the wagon in spectacular fashion. But trouble is not far behind, as Gaz comes to claim Corinthian as his own.