Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

It's the morning of Janet and Jonny's wedding but unfortunately the bride and groom are nowhere to be seen. Donna worries that Janet has done a runner. She decides that in order to find them her only option is to call the man she despises... Gaz.

It's the morning of Janet and Jonny's wedding but unfortunately the bride and groom are nowhere to be seen. Donna worries that Janet has done a runner. She decides that in order to find them her only option is to call the man despises... Gaz.

Louise's committal hearing doesn't go too well when she refuses to admit that she caused Jonny's shooting out of stupidity. Outraged by this suggestion she proceeds to call the Magistrate panel stupid and is sentenced with community service supervising delinquent teenage girls.

Thinking that she's got off lightly, Louise is excited thinking it'll be just like when she was a school bully. Meanwhile, Janet and Jonny find themselves in their wedding gear trapped in the back of a van containing their wedding breakfast of dressed crabs and baked beans.

When Janet starts to realise that they won't make it to the registry office, she decides that it wasn't to be and confesses to Jonny that she slept with Gaz.

Jonny just laughs it off and says it's her hormones making her say that and decides that they should exchange their wedding vows using a dressed crab as their registrar.

When Gaz and Donna realise that Janet and Jonny aren't going to show up, Gaz has a brainwave (unusual for him) and decides that they will get married, as Janet and Jonny to get their names on the marriage certificate. Donna is furious but agrees to go ahead with it for her friends.