Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Janet starts her job managing The Archer, and in a bid to attract an older clientele, decides to give the pub a wartime theme, while Donna is still intent on revenge. Jonny helps Gaz become a dad, and Louise becomes a prostitute.

With Janet starting her job at the Archer and the current rift with Gaz, Jonny is worried that he's going to be lonely. Getting a job is out of the question, but maybe he should get Gaz a present as reconciliation; a puppy!

Janet decides that what the pub needs is food, and a theme. Exploiting the power of the 'grey pound', she throws the pub back into the 1940's with a World War II theme. Jealous of her success, Donna lies and says she's just had an interview for a job as a health and safety inspector and threatens to close the pub down unless it's cleaned spotlessly.

Facing her financial crises, Louise decides upon the only logical course of action: become a prostitute. Her 'Pretty Woman' fantasy proves short-lived though. Meanwhile, after his less-than-successful efforts at looking after the puppy, Gaz tries his luck at adoption.

Donna's persisting with her plan to pose as a health and safety inspector to punish Janet, but she's easily rumbled when Gaz lets it slip that she doesn't have a job at all. Janet throws Donna out of the pub, but when a real health and safety inspector turns up he threatens to close the place down.