Thieves Like Us

Bex

Bex left school at 16 with no qualifications. It wasn't that he was stupid, far from it, just misdirected. Bex preferred to do his own thing, have a laugh and enjoy the easy life rather than knuckle down. He actually quite enjoyed school, but for all the wrong reasons. It was his little playground and he enjoyed using his wits to stay one step ahead of the teachers.

But when school ended, he found he had no alternative but to get a job. He did this for a couple of years and tried to treat employment the same way he had treated school. Naturally, he was sacked more times than he cares to remember. This was all a bit of fun at the beginning because who needs a job when you're a teenager anyway? But as the years ticked by, the reality of Bex's situation became clear to him...

With no qualifications, a shocking employment record and no prospects, he was doomed to spend the rest of his life serving chips or stacking shelves for minimum wage while the eggheads at school that had actually handed in their homework went on to enjoy prosperous careers.

Well it would be a cold day in Dartmoor before that happened. Bex might not have learned Geography, Biology, English or Maths like the other kids, but he did learn something. Staying one step ahead of the authorities and getting away with it.

Only playtime's now over and the ante's been upped. And detention doesn't end at five o'clock.

Ollie

Ollie wasn't in Bex's class at school, he just knew him from detention club. Like Bex, Ollie left school at 16 with no qualifications but, unlike Bex, even if he had tried his heart out he would never have improved on this. Ollie's not a classic dull light bulb though. He has a wit on him, though this wit is more often than not accidental in design rather than deliberate.

His thievery is slightly different to Bex's. Bex introduced Ollie to stealing because he needed a hand with his jobs, but this awakened a kleptomaniac in Ollie that he often has difficulty controlling.

Ollie also has a temper on him but he's not a naturally a violent man - a teddy bear with occasional claws. He enjoys a laugh and a pint as much as the next bloke and, as that next bloke is usually Bex, that's a lot of laughs and a lot of pints. Bex and Ollie are best mates and, though they have their differences, Ollie would run through hell and high water for Bex - he knows this and occasionally takes advantage of this fact.

Norris

Norris is a couple of years older than Bex and Ollie but he's below them in terms of standing. He's a runt, and always has been. He had a hard time at school from bullies and teachers alike and an even worse time inside when he went to a young offenders institute at 15 for stealing charity boxes. He's spent most of his life being picked on and persecuted and has learned to dish it out the other end in all manner of underhanded ways.

Norris is a man of no rules. He will steal anything, abuse anything and sleep with anything he thinks he can get away with. Clive is also a coward, a liar and a sneak thief. He has spent so many years lurking in the bushes and tip-toeing behind people's backs that he doesn't know how else to behave.

Mel

Mel is a couple of years younger than Bex. She met him while working part-time in a pub when she was in her teens and was instantly drawn to his wit and easy charm. She didn't even mind that he was a bad boy at first, as all girls like a bit of a bad boy - at first.

But Mel has since left Bex behind in so many ways. She's attended evening classes, she's improved herself and her situation with qualifications and now she works as a secretary for a local solicitor (Bex's solicitor, as it happens). It's not the greatest job in the world but it's a stepping stone to a better life. And it frustrates her that Bex won't follow her.

She wants to settle down, enjoy a nice life and one day start a family. But the man she once looked up to, she's now looking down on. Bex would never leave Mel, but one day Mel will probably leave Bex. She might even leave him tomorrow. But one thing's for sure, she won't leave him today.

Belinda

Belinda was the proverbial ugly duckling that never quite made it to Swan. Still, early on in her teens she found that the teasing stopped when she developed a few tail feathers a year ahead of the rest of the class and her popularity soared overnight.

She spent the next ten years dancing her curves off in the town's various nightspots and camping out behind the bike shed. Unfortunately, small towns being what they are, she also earned herself a reputation along the way that's proved hard to shake to this day. Still, she ain't like that no more.

Belinda loves fun. Belinda loves partying. And Belinda loves love. But most of all, Belinda loves Ollie. Just as Ollie loves Belinda, despite what's written on the bog wall about her. Not that any of that matters to Ollie, all he cares about is Belinda's happiness and he'll defend and protect her at all costs. Sometimes, even from herself.

Electric

Electric runs a small second-hand shop in town, wheeling and dealing anything he can make money on. He has a large portfolio of burglars on his books and an eye for a bargain. He's Bex and Ollie's main stock outlet and also a source of many of their tips. Bex trusts him implicitly. Electric will always try to stitch him up, short change him and rip him off.

In short, Bex can trust Electric to be himself - the perfect starting point for such a relationship. Electric has no family and no friends. Only customers, business acquaintances and a shoebox full of cash under the bed. And that's the way he likes it.

DS Haynes

When Tom Haynes was a young man, he was his mother's favourite son. He always did his homework, he was never late for school and he always showed his elders respect. But he was one of the few that did.

Weasel, as the boys know him, always resented the way the bad boys at school seemed to get away with murder or could laugh off a roasting when he himself would get deeply upset by any sort of disapproval. He hated these boys, but this was probably because deep down he secretly admired them. He admired their nerve, their devil-may-care attitude and how much they seemed to enjoy life. Most of all, though, he hated their popularity.

The police force is a haven for the Weasel's of this world. People who've never been shown a jot of respect or admiration from anyone in their lives are suddenly looked up to the moment they put on a big hat. But best of all, with the admiration and respect, comes the power. Power to take all those boys who thought they could get away with it down a peg or three. Power to finally wipe the smirks from their faces. And power to take revenge on a miserable childhood. Tom loves his job!

Roland Nayler

Roland's not one of life's natural go-getters. In fact, given an endless source of money, Roland would happily spend the rest of his life sitting on the sofa and watching the telly until his arse fell off. But he needs to live and likes his bargain buckets, so he occasionally helps out Bex and Ollie when they need a hand.

Another reason he's only too happy to help them out is because it gives him a chance to be with Ollie. Ollie's his best friend, despite Ollie's objections, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for the "Big Guy" himself.

Roland loves Ollie and loves being close to him. It's nothing sexual, more a general overwhelming affection that occasionally grips big dummies and causes them to wander around after the object of their affection and sit next to them whenever possible for reasons even they're unable to understand.