The Visit

Michael

Michael shouldn't be inside the nick. He thought he was driving his mates to the shops, but ended up being the getaway driver. Steadfast and loyal, he still refuses to be a grass... especially when it is revealed one of the culprits is a bit too close to home!

Michael enjoys the visits from his dad but wishes he wouldn't always bring his Nan along too.

Brian

Michael's dad is more of a victim than anyone. A taxi driver, he has to drive to the prison each week with a car full of women, his idiot son and delinquent Nana.

He drives 50 miles each week to spend an hour with his son, Michael, only to promptly tell all his problems to him rather than listen to what he has to say.

A bit of a dodgy geezer, he likes to duck and dive but is a solid family man with an obsession about speed humps.

Stevie

Stevie is a typical young, weed-smoking lad who doesn't care about anything. He has no sense of emotions, and is not very bright.

A self-confessed ladies' man, he has dodgy taste in women. Stevie in turn both winds up his dad and brother, but also brings out their protective instinct.

It seems their naive Nana is happy to pay for everything for Stevie - whether it be a t-shirt with a drug reference on it or a tattoo.

Nana

Nana is determined that Michael's soul needs saving. On first-name terms with all the Catholic priests for miles around, she insists on sending Michael almost every religious icon ever created. She also thinks that all his problems will be solved with a little chat from Father Kane.

Clint

Gambling addict Clint is determined to be the hard man of the prison but is seriously lacking in terms of street cred. He loves his long-suffering wife, Bev, but is jealous about her reliance on his albino friend, Carl.

Clint welcomes Bev's weekly visit with his baby twins, but is worried by his older son's refusal to visit the prison.

It isn't long before everyone knows why Clint is inside - he isn't actually a career criminal who's spent time in Strangeways - he's inside for trying to hold up a post office using a banana!

Bev

Bev is Clint's long suffering wife. She loyally visits her husband each week but gets frustrated with his big man act. However, she knows just how to bring him down.

Rational and calm, Bev struggles to make ends meet while her husband is inside and spends most of her time campaigning for better facilities in the prison's creches (Kaplunk without the sticks isn't much fun!).

Officer Rachael

Rachael's quick wit and sarcastic ways go down well with the inmates at the prison. She is good at her job, and is quick to put the other prison guards in their place. She also makes it clear that the job is by no means her primary career choice.

Officer Mark Bamford

Officer Bamford often comes across as a bit of a control freak with the prisoners. His actions usually come back to bite him from behind.

Bamform is an expert at making life at work harder than it should be - he is prone to ridiculous errors and often becomes the butt of the joke with both his colleagues and the prisoners.

Bamford holds a grudge against most of the prisoners - but particularly Clint.

Officer Russell

Russell is the most laid-back of all the prison officers. He breezes through his working day thinking about the amount of time he has left on his shift, and, most importantly, chocolate. Crunchies are very important to him.

Blind Pete

Pete, or 'Blind Pete' as he has become known within the prison, is as clever and on the ball as any other prisoner. He cunningly uses his disability to his advantage.

However, the other prisoners have a sneaking suspicion that all is not what it seems when it comes to Pete and his conniving ways... some suspect its all an act and he can actually see!

Splodge Costello

Splodge is the prison's token bully boy - most of the prison inmates and staff are scared of him. He knows all too well that he can get what he wants, when he wants.

Splodge spends most of his visiting time waiting for his un-punctual girlfriend, Zoe, and harassing the other visitors. However, his softer side shows him to be a loving father and boyfriend.

Zoe

Zoe is Splodge's girlfriend - she often misses visiting him in prison as seems fairly laid back about turning up on time.

Easily the most attractive visitor to the prison, Zoe turns most of the lag's heads whenever she walks into the visiting room - much to the annoyance of their girlfriends and wives!