The Security Men

The Security Men review

WOW, Caroline, WOW. Security Men is disgraceful. You have taken your remit of writing populist rubbish to levels of such sheer redundant mediocrity that I had to keep slicing into the skin between my toes with a vinegar soaked Stanley knife to keep myself from completely flat lining.

The Security Men was a one-off comedy thriller about a quartet of feckless shopping-mall security guards, who, following a raid on a jewellery store under their protection, decide to re-stage the robbery to disguise their own incompetence. Actually, they aren't entirely feckless, as Brendan O'Carroll - escaping from under Mrs Brown's skirts - is given plenty of 'feck'-peppered dialogue to deliver.

Written by Caroline Aherne and Jeff Pope, The Security Men started out promisingly but ultimately disappointed on almost every level. It needed either more time to build up the characters, plot and tension or less time, so it could have focused solely on the better jokes. It was neither thrilling nor funny. But, for all its shortcomings, I feel a spin-off series coming on.

The Security Men review

It has been panned by critics, mainly owing to its sexist jokes, but I saw The Security Men as an enjoyable hour of farcical comedy.

You wouldn't guess that The Security Man (ITV) was written by Caroline Aherne (along with Jeff Pope). It has neither the acerbic wit of Mrs Merton, nor the look-in-the-mirror recognition and realism of The Royle Family. Instead, it's a jolly caper. Three security men are caught (literally) off-guard when they abandon their posts to watch the Amir Khan fight, and the jewellers in the mall they're supposed to be guarding is robbed. With the help of a techie nephew and some very amateur dramatics, they mock up CCTV footage of them being a bit more heroic. It's silly, and rather nice, in a comforting, old-fashioned kind of way. I enjoyed the synchronised-mobility-scooter-to-music routines. Is that really Bobby Ball (as in Cannon and ...)? It is.

The Security Men, ITV1 - review

Puerile, predictable one-off comedy from writers Caroline Aherne and Jeff Pope.

The Security Men, ITV, review

The Security Men, a one-off comedy written by Caroline Aherne and starring Bobby Ball and Brendan O'Carroll, was unfunny and full of rancid sexism.

Review: Peter Wight and Bobby Ball shine

Overall I really enjoyed The Security Men and I have to say I laughed at least four or five times. Aherne and Pope have crafted some brilliant characters and put them in the most boring of situations. I felt that Peter Wight shone the most as the incredibly anal Kenneth.

The Security Men attracts 4.8m to ITV

Caroline Aherne's The Security Men brought 4.82m viewers (20.1%) to ITV on Friday, overnight data shows.

One-off comedy by Caroline Aherne and Jeff Pope about four lazy security guards who fail to thwart a jewellery robbery at their shopping centre because they are watching a boxing match on TV, and are forced to conceive a scheme to save their jobs. Bobby Ball and Mrs Brown's Boys star Brendan O'Carroll are two of the guards, and the copper sent to investigate the heist is Paddy McGuinness. If you're still reading this you're either really looking forward to it or unable to turn the page because of the ennui.

Who wouldn't enjoy having the run of an empty shopping centre? But in this one-off comedy drama, co-written by Caroline Aherne (The Royle Family) and Jeff Pope (Mrs Biggs), a quartet of night security guards take things a little too far.

Having become used to using their workplace as one big playground, the team decides to adjust the security system to allow them to watch a boxing match in glorious HD.

After all, what's the worst that could happen? Brendan O'Carroll (the Irish comedian beneath the copious cardies of Mrs Brown's Boys), Peter Wight (The Paradise), Dean Andrews (Last Tango In Halifax) and Bobby Ball (without his Cannon) are the guards taking the mick.