British Comedy Guide
Love British Comedy Guide? Support our work by making a donation. Find out more
The Grumpy Guide To.... Ronni Ancona. Copyright: Liberty Bell
The Grumpy Guide To...

The Grumpy Guide To...

  • TV comedy
  • BBC Two
  • 2007 - 2011
  • 16 episodes (2 series)

A grumpy perspective on aspects of modern life from a group of celebrities. Stars Jenny Eclair, Kathryn Flett, Justin Moorhouse, Germaine Greer, Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen and more.

F
X
R
W
E

Episode menu

Grumpy Guide To Christmas - The Grumpy Guide To Christmas

Meet the new breed of grumpies: a bit younger but no less embittered, with festive humbug and tales of seasonal Tourette's, inappropriate present-buying and the eating of reindeer.

Further details

The Grumpy Guide To.... Mark Steel. Copyright: Liberty Bell

Following the success of the long-running Grumpy Old Men and Grumpy Old Women series, a host of inveterate Grumps of both sexes (and varying ages) vent their collective spleen at the festive season in The Grumpy Guide to Christmas. For those of a disgruntled disposition, Christmas and the accompanying brouhaha cause no end of exasperation, so the irascible cast are on particularly grouchy form as they get stuck into a sackful of seasonal grumbles.

Narrated by Geoffrey Palmer, the show tackles the full gamut of holiday horrors, from parties and pantos to the pressures of forced jollity and Sir Cliff Richard's Mistletoe and Wine, with bellyaching from Ozzy Osbourne, Penny Smith, Al Murray, Neil Morrissey, Alistair McGowan, Ronni Ancona, John Thomson, Shappi Khorsandi, Huey Morgan, Russell Kane, Mark Radcliffe, Bobby Davro, Donna McPhail, Mark Steel, Andi Oliver, Matthew Le Tissier and Terry Christian.

As Mark Radcliffe points out, "There is a great relief if you've got family Christmas over with and no-one's punched each other." In order to avoid familial fisticuffs you'll first have to plough through turkey and cranberry sauce, which according to Ronni Ancona is "basically chicken with jam" served up with Brussels Sprouts "which are the grapes of the devil". Then, of course, there's the exchange of presents - here's Al Murray on the 'joy' of giving: "Oh p*%s off. The joy is the frenzied unwrapping, like a crazed velociraptor tearing its prey apart ... giving sucks." As Christmas becomes more commercialised, perhaps the saddest thing is that "a lot of youngsters don't know the true meaning of Christmas", notes Alistair McGowan. "They genuinely don't know that it's the time we celebrate the birth and the life and the work of Morecambe and Wise". But the definitive Grumpy take on Christmas comes courtesy of Ozzy Osbourne, who actually considers himself lucky to have missed the whole thing one year following a horrific quad bike injury ... "it's not goodwill and peace to all mankind, it's just b*%^#cks."

Broadcast details

Date
Wednesday 23rd December 2009
Time
9pm
Channel
BBC Two
Length
60 minutes

Cast & crew

Guest cast
Ozzy Osbourne Self
Penny Smith Self
Al Murray Self
Neil Morrissey Self
Alistair McGowan Self
Ronni Ancona Self
John Thomson Self
Shaparak Khorsandi (as Shappi Khorsandi) Self
Huey Morgan Self
Russell Kane Self
Mark Radcliffe Self
Bobby Davro Self
Donna McPhail Self
Mark Steel Self
Andi Oliver Self
Matthew Le Tissier (as Matt Le Tissier) Self
Terry Christian Self
Geoffrey Palmer Narrator
Production team
Pip Banyard Director
Stuart Prebble Executive Producer
Pip Banyard Producer
Gilly Hall Executive Producer

Press

Despite being a fully-fledged member of the Grumpies' fan club I bet narrator Geoffrey Palmer and his gang of grouchy celebs are the Christmas guests from hell.

Ronni Ancona will moan that your Jamie Oliver-inspired turkey and cranberry sauce is "basically chicken with jam", Al Murray will tell you to "go away" when you talk to him about the joy of giving (he actually uses stronger language but I'm starting my New Year's resolution a few days early) and Penny Smith will moan that it's all "sentimental claptrap". Donna McPhail will terrify your dog by declaring Christmas is "worse than a puppy because you can't put it in a sack and drown it." And Ozzy Osbourne will consider getting back on his quad bike to avoid the whole thing for a second time. It's "just b******s," he says. Oh damn, there goes my resolution already.

Jane Simon, The Mirror, 23rd December 2009

Share this page