Taskmaster

It's the grand final, which means one superior competitor will end this episode by clutching Greg Davies' gilded bonce to their proud chest. But before that glorious moment, Sophie Willan will impress on keyboards, Steve Pemberton will be surprised in a field, John Robins will refuse a biscuit, Joanne McNally will struggle with an anagram, and Nick Mohammed will make a magical prediction. And, of course, Little Alex Horne will diligently record every last moment for posterity.

Prize task: The thing that gives the most hope for the future of the human race.

- Joanne McNally: A basic bitch starter kit, consisting of cucumber eye sheets, cheap scented candles, slippers and a onesie. - 5
- Steve Pemberton: Nothing. - 4
- Sophie Willan: AI, in the form of a toy robot. - 3
- Nick Mohammed: The concept of fate, by predicting his final series score (which he does correctly). - 2
- John Robins: A cut-out of Kathy Burke. - 1

Task 1, Part 1 (Fake task): Find and complete the real task. Each task has a 1% chance of being the real task. Fastest wins. Your time started when you opened your first task. Part 2 (Real task): This is the real task. Peg all the tasks onto the washing line. Fastest wins. Your time started when you opened your first task.

- Steve: 49.8 seconds - 5
- John: 1:16 - 4
- Sophie: 3:41 - 3
- Joanne and Nick: Disqualified for not pegging all the tasks to the washing line. - 0

Task 2: Hug your special friend. Every time you touch a letter you must turn it over and one minute will be added to your time. Fastest wins. Your time starts now.

- Sophie: 4:44 - 5
- Joanne: 11:20 - 4
- John: 21:20 - 3
- Steve: 52:37 - 2
- Nick: 56:25 - 1

Task 3 (Team Task): Present the best new short-form shiny floor American game show. Alex will be the contestant. One of you must be his rival and somebody must win. The game show Greg most wants to see commissioned wins. Also, there is a bonus point for best new game show catchphrase. You have a maximum of 30 minutes. Your time starts now.

- Joanne, John and Sophie: Guess The Age, To Win Their Wage, plus bonus point for the catchphrase: "Lower the goggles, as the mind boggles." - 6
- Nick and Steve: Poo Do You Think You Are? - 3

Live task: Crawl around behind the wall for 20 seconds. On Greg's command, you must then pop up from behind the wall. If Greg correctly predicts where you will pop up, you will be eliminated. Last player correctly predicted wins. If there is a tie in the final, the round is replayed.

- Nick - 5
- John and Sophie - 4
- Joanne and Steve - 2

Final scores

- Sophie - 21
- John - 18
- Joanne - 17
- Steve - 16
- Nick - 11

Series scores

- John - 192
- Joanne - 171
- Steve - 153
- Sophie - 144
- Nick - 131