Star Stories

Heather Mills has not enjoyed a particularly good press of late, so Star Stories waded into the fray to redress the balance. Its unique take upon tabloid events cast Paul McCartney as a sadistic and cruel tyrant, egged on by his manipulative daughter Stella, cosily living in a luxurious country house called Mandalay. Heather, in contrast, is a shy and naive Geordie girl for whom her charity work is everything.

'Whose the daddy?' screams Paul in flashback, as he terrorises the other three Beatles into performing on the Abbey Road studio's roof. So great was the programme's excursion into delusional fantasy that it even suggested Sir Paul's hair was dyed.

Jokes about Mills' disability were inevitable but, given Star Stories' gleefully puerile approach, remarkably few and far between.

Star Stories serves up pretty much the same fare every week, irrespective of its subject matter, but sheer nerve, energy and clever writing has so far kept it from going stale.

Heather Mills gets the Star Stories treatment this week - and boy is she going to be peeved with the show.

In Mills And McCartney Presents: Why Paul Is A Total B*stard, 'Heather' (comedienne Dolly Wells) the woman who gives most of her money to charity (yeah, right) gives her side of the story. For the first time.

Did you know, for example, that as a child she spent 20 hours a day down the mines? Or that her dodgy porn shot was done to help children with their maths? Or that the ghost of Princess Diana asked her to work for landmine charities? Or that her dad looked like an older version of Ant McPartlin? That's not a subject raised, by the way, just my observation.

The show takes several of Mucca's own claims - plus a few they made up - and rips the mick out of them. Paul's frugal behaviour (played by Steve Edge) comes in for a bashing, too.

'Why should I have to pay for two when she's only going to wear one,' he asks in a posh shoe shop. But not before giving her Cinderella-style rags to clean the house in. And no programme dedicated to Heather would be complete without her bonkers appearance on GMTV.

After last week's disappointing homage to Sir Elton John, it's nice to see the show's back with a vengeance (although their version of Heather losing her leg is possibly a step too far, even for Star Stories).