Television
TV schedule Thursday 13th October 2022
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 5, Episode 4 - The Dreaded Circular SawIn the confusion of the chateau 'fire', René and LeClerc - now in full German uniform - are captured by the Communist Resistance and held captive in an old sawmill. Meanwhile, the Colonel is distraught to learn that the original Fallen Madonna and van Gogh have gone missing.
Open All Hours
Series 3, Episode 4 - How To Ignite Your Errand BoyArkwright's plan to make his own fire lighters has a snag, they may be somewhat dangerous to make...Oh well, Granville is not busy...
Shaun The Sheep
Adventures From Mossy Bottom, Episode 11 - Teddy HeistWhen the Farmer locks up Timmy's teddy bear, Shaun hatches a rescue plan.
Danger Mouse
Series 2, Episode 25 - Twysted SisterWhen a teenage Squawk goes on the rampage, DM summons her Twistyverse counterpart to talk some sense into her. But he overlooks one vital thing - a twisty Squawk is an evil Squawk!
Dennis & Gnasher Unleashed!
Series 1, Episode 33 - Ralf's Last PrankWhen Dennis and the gang think they have caused Ralf to lose his job, they're determined to make his last day at Bash Street School totally blam by setting up the greatest prank Ralf's ever known.
Lloyd Of The Flies
Episode 18 - MaggotballPB has heard that there's a blob of peanut butter on the kitchen counter, but Lloyd's supposed to be maggotsitting and can't leave - faced with the prospect of missing out on the peanut butter, Lloyd therefore concocts a plan to take his maggotsitting duties with him!
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 2 - The Pyramids of Giza, EgyptGlitch creates big trouble with a little pyramid when he and the Go Jetters visit Egypt.
The Fosters
Series 1, Episode 10 - The WindfallSamuel discovers a paper bag full of thousands of pounds, apparently dumped after a local supermarket robbery. The community is incensed at his decision to return £12,000 to the shop - but he's not so bothered.
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 2, Episode 32 - Grimsby Fairy TaleGrimsby is putting on its annual community play and Anna wants the role of princess - cast as a witch instead, along with Gran and Dave, she and her Spud sidekicks set out to prove that witches can have happy endings too.
On The Buses
Series 4, Episode 3 - Dangerous LivingA newspaper report about the mortality rate of busmen leads everyone to insist Stan loses some weight. He's not pleased, but a date with a much younger clippie makes him think a bit of exercise couldn't hurt.
Chef!
Series 2, Episode 3 - Do The Right ThingTo what lengths will Gareth Blackstock, best chef in Britain and probably the world, go to acquire the best ingredients for his acclaimed dishes?
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 2, Episode 33 - Spud RailwaysThe Spuds have a new toy railway for the twins from the dump - this one is particularly special because it is big enough for all the Spuds to ride. With plenty of track to spare, wherever might the Spuds' railway journey take them?
Justin's House
Series 5, Episode 2 - Monster TruckIt's the day of the Justin Town monster truck race!
On The Buses
Series 5, Episode 1 - The NurseryA nursery is set up for the clippies' children and the Sister in charge requires an assistant. Something surely that even Olive can handle?
Only Fools And Horses
Series 3, Christmas Special - Thicker Than WaterWhen Rodney opens the door to a stranger at the flat he soon learns from Grandad that it's his long lost father, Reg. As Del returns home from the pub, his anger is abated when Reg tells them he is ill and it may be hereditary. The subsequent blood test results threaten to split the brothers up.
Danny & Mick
Series 3, Episode 10 - Triple BookedWhen the judge of a cake decorating class leaves, Danny has to take her place, on top of teaching a judo class and having a performance review.
Class Dismissed
Series 4, Episode 9It's exam time but the staff at Quayside Academy don't make things any easier.
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 4 - A Day OutFletcher and Godber join MacKay and Barrowclough's work party, digging drainage ditches for the council. When MacKay calls into the village, the party take advantage of Barrowclough's easygoing nature, but get more than they bargained for after taking shelter from the elements in a church.
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 9 - Louder And LouderThe Twirlywoos find out how to make loud noises when they play on a drum kit. Back in the Boat, Great BigHoo competes with the Hooter to see who can make the loudest sound.
Diddy TV
Series 3, Episode 4 - Jam BagFeaturing Kiss Chase with your host Badly Washed, The Art Viking shows us how to make balloon models, and YouTube sensation Jake Mitchell is on the sofa for Diddy Chat.
Last Of The Summer Wine
New Year Special - The Man Who Nearly Knew PavarottiWesley nearly runs over Billy Ingleton, giving Foggy the opportunity to prove his outstanding talents as a concert promoter.
Your Face Or Mine
Series 6, Episode 8This week's couple Lizzie and Patrick have an interesting dynamic - Lizzie moved to London and claims to be a 'stay at home mum' to her dog. Despite being dubbed a 'gold digger' after 'anyone with a wallet', she's endearing and the pair are good sports.
Minder
Series 9, Episode 2 - No Way To Treat A DaleyThe chance acquisition of a giant balloon introduces Arthur to the lucrative world of aerial advertising.
Mr Bean
A selection of episodes from the second series of the animated version of Rowan Atkinson's comic creation.
Sooty
Series 1, Episode 12 - The Magic ShowA broken wand forces Sooty to halt his magic show. With Sweep stuck in the sawing-in-half box and Richard transformed into a chicken, Sooty must put things right if he's going to impress Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee.
Your Face Or Mine
Series 5, Episode 4Billy and Nikita are next up on the sofa for this episode of Your Face Or Mine. The pair have actually been on the show before in Series 3. However Billy, who appeared with his now ex, has coupled up with Nikita...the mystery guest who he was accused of having the hots for! But those were just rumours, right?
Desmond's
Series 3, Episode 7 - The Waiting GameWhile Desmond and Shirley get ready for a plush evening out at the Hilton, Gloria plans to take advantage of her parents' absence to help Louise carry out a pregnancy test.
Chef!
Series 2, Episode 3 - Do The Right ThingTo what lengths will Gareth Blackstock, best chef in Britain and probably the world, go to acquire the best ingredients for his acclaimed dishes?
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 32 - Wicked LeaksPenfold's addiction to social media leads to the Baron turning all of DM's secrets against him, in a plot to deflate the planet.
Waffle The Wonder Dog
Series 3, Episode 5 - Waffle's School WalkiesWhile her kitchen dries out Mrs Hobbs is at the Brooklyn-Bells' house with George. Waffle joins the walk to school on Evie's first day but causes playground chaos and is sent home.
Dad's Army
Series 3, Episode 3 - The Lion Has 'PhonesMainwaring tries to improve communications amongst the platoon by giving lessons in using public telephone boxes. Their lessons are needed when a German plane crash lands into the local reservoir.
Dennis & Gnasher Unleashed!
Series 1, Episode 46 - Pieface DayWhen Pieface rescues Walter and Bertie from danger, Dennis leads the town in celebrating Pieface Day in his honour, and refuses to listen when Pieface tries to tell him it was all a big mistake. Walter uncovers the truth, proclaims himself the bigger hero, and declares it Walter Week!
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 44 - The Paddy Fields of ChinaThe Go Jetters swing into action when Glitch uses real landmarks for his crazy golf course.
Shaun The Sheep
Series 4, Episode 13 - The Dog ShowIt's time for the Annual Dog Show and the Farmer is sure Bitzer has a good chance of winning this year. When things don't quite go as planned, the Farmer comes up with an ingenious idea which might help him win.
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 4 - A Day OutFletcher and Godber join MacKay and Barrowclough's work party, digging drainage ditches for the council. When MacKay calls into the village, the party take advantage of Barrowclough's easygoing nature, but get more than they bargained for after taking shelter from the elements in a church.
Dodo
Series 1, Episode 15 - BoyfriendJoe Connolly is Lily Scott's boyfriend and everything is great. When he witnesses John Longmore getting dumped by Eisha Khela, Joe realises he cannot just be a boyfriend, he must be a good boyfriend.
Dodo
Series 1, Episode 16 - Parents EveningIt's parents evening and Joe's parents can't wait to meet his girlfriend, Lily. Joe cannot let this happen.
Open All Hours
Series 3, Episode 4 - How To Ignite Your Errand BoyArkwright's plan to make his own fire lighters has a snag, they may be somewhat dangerous to make...Oh well, Granville is not busy...
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 2, Episode 32 - Grimsby Fairy TaleGrimsby is putting on its annual community play and Anna wants the role of princess - cast as a witch instead, along with Gran and Dave, she and her Spud sidekicks set out to prove that witches can have happy endings too.
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 1 - The Eiffel Tower, FranceIn France, Grandmaster Glitch breaks the Eiffel Tower when he uses it as a TV aerial. Can the Go Jetters fix it?
Last Of The Summer Wine
New Year Special - The Man Who Nearly Knew PavarottiWesley nearly runs over Billy Ingleton, giving Foggy the opportunity to prove his outstanding talents as a concert promoter.
Your Face Or Mine
Series 6, Episode 7There's a big difference between this week's couple: 6'1" Alex slid into 4'10" Amber's DMs four years ago. Although the couple has relationship longevity, Amber is described to have had "more exes than hot dinners" so there may be trouble in paradise.
Your Face Or Mine
Series 6, Episode 8This week's couple Lizzie and Patrick have an interesting dynamic - Lizzie moved to London and claims to be a 'stay at home mum' to her dog. Despite being dubbed a 'gold digger' after 'anyone with a wallet', she's endearing and the pair are good sports.
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 37 - Danger Is ForeverDanger Mouse takes on Greenback - but as a geriatric (or elderly) mouse, after the Baron speeds up the rotation of Earth, making everyone and thing 1,000 years older! Can DM pull out all the stops and restore the world?
Shaun The Sheep
Adventures From Mossy Bottom, Episode 4 - Space BitzerA drone takes Bitzer on a dizzying ride.
Dad's Army
Series 3, Episode 3 - The Lion Has 'PhonesMainwaring tries to improve communications amongst the platoon by giving lessons in using public telephone boxes. Their lessons are needed when a German plane crash lands into the local reservoir.
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 2 - The Pyramids of Giza, EgyptGlitch creates big trouble with a little pyramid when he and the Go Jetters visit Egypt.
Timmy Time
Series 3, Episode 4 - Timmy's CookieHarriet shows the class how to make cookies and Timmy decides to make one bigger than all the others.
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 4 - A Day OutFletcher and Godber join MacKay and Barrowclough's work party, digging drainage ditches for the council. When MacKay calls into the village, the party take advantage of Barrowclough's easygoing nature, but get more than they bargained for after taking shelter from the elements in a church.
Minder
Series 9, Episode 3 - Uneasy RiderLondon's newest despatch business, The Daley Post, is swamped with choice customers.
Lloyd Of The Flies
Episode 19 - Fly Out Of TimeLloyd, PB and Abacus discover a fly frozen in an ice cube - a drop from the kitchen counter later allows them to meet Marvin, a fly from the past. Full of gratitude, Marvin insists on repaying Lloyd, but his persistent helpfulness soon gets out of hand.
The Green Green Grass
Series 1, Episode 5 - Pillow TalkBoycie struggles to come to terms with the news that his prize bull is gay, and Marlene finds she's missing the noise of the city after suffering sleepless nights. Tyler is delighted to learn he's failed all but two of his GCSEs, thinking he'll no longer be accepted into private school - but his parents have other ideas.
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 2, Episode 27 - Happy Birthday GarethDave makes a Gareth-shaped piñata for Gareth's birthday, but his starfish friend is unfamiliar with such an item and confused when the Spuds bash it to pieces. Convinced that Dave does not like her anymore, Gareth leaves and heads back out to sea - can Dave find her in time and persuade her that it was all a silly misunderstanding?
Waiting For God
Series 3, Episode 3It's cold, the heating's off, and Diana's in no mood for tolerance or sociability whatsoever. Tired of her lot, she heads out to town in search of a job, with Tom closely in tow.
Dodo
Series 1, Episode 17 - Cosmic FrisboToday is the Year 7 talent show and Frisbo will perform his greatest ever magic trick with Joe as his stooge. But when Joe accidentally says yes to being Siobhan Murphy's boyfriend, he has bigger problems to deal with.
Dodo
Series 1, Episode 18 - Mickey PageWhen Steve Malek steals back Joe's Mickey Page football card from Frisbo, Joe decides Steve will be his new best friend.
Only Fools And Horses
Series 3, Christmas Special - Thicker Than WaterWhen Rodney opens the door to a stranger at the flat he soon learns from Grandad that it's his long lost father, Reg. As Del returns home from the pub, his anger is abated when Reg tells them he is ill and it may be hereditary. The subsequent blood test results threaten to split the brothers up.
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 5, Episode 4 - The Dreaded Circular SawIn the confusion of the chateau 'fire', René and LeClerc - now in full German uniform - are captured by the Communist Resistance and held captive in an old sawmill. Meanwhile, the Colonel is distraught to learn that the original Fallen Madonna and van Gogh have gone missing.
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 9 - No PetsMr Bean decides he needs some new and exciting friends in the shape of pets.
Big Zuu's Big Eats
Big Zuu's Christmas Eats, Episode 1 - Music SpecialBig Zuu is joined by some mega musician friends including one of the UK's biggest rappers, AJ Tracey; grime MC JME with his sister and radio presenter Julie Adenuga; and hip-hop musician Loyle Carner.
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 10 - Ray Of SunshineMr Bean is in pursuit of sunshine but only manages to cause chaos on the beach!
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 20, Episode 2 - How Errol Flynn Discovered The Secret Of Nora BattCompo tries to win Nora's heart by dressing up as Robin Hood.
Dad's Army
Series 3, Episode 3 - The Lion Has 'PhonesMainwaring tries to improve communications amongst the platoon by giving lessons in using public telephone boxes. Their lessons are needed when a German plane crash lands into the local reservoir.
Dad's Army
Series 3, Episode 4 - The Bullet Is Not For FiringThe platoon get into a spot of bother after firing at a German plane during an air raid. Displeased at the spending of precious bullets, Mainwaring organises a court of inquiry into the situation.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 20, Episode 3 - Who's Thrown Her Tom Cruise Photographs Away?When Marina is stood up by Howard, she decides the time has come to give up her interest in men.
Only Fools And Horses
Series 6, Episode 1 - Yuppy LoveDel has gone all high-powered and trendy in an attempt to adopt a yuppy image. Rodney is unimpressed as his attention is focused on getting his computer diploma at night school.
A League Of Their Own
Series 17, Out-takes - UnseenCheck out some of the best unseen moments for the seventeenth series of ALOTO.
The National Television Awards
Joel Dommett hosts the 27th edition of the ceremony, as stars and fans gather for one of the biggest nights in British TV.
Would I Lie To You?
Series 8, Out-takes - The Unseen BitsRob Brydon, Lee Mack and David Mitchell return for an episode of previously unseen material from the hit comedy panel show.
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 11 - Birthday BearMr Bean is shocked when Teddy receives a birthday card from Bean's girlfriend.
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 12 - The MoleMr Bean's landlady is hopping mad when she finds mole hills on her lovely croquet lawn.
All Round To Mrs. Brown's
Series 4, Episode 1Kicking off the new series, Agnes and Cathy welcome global icon Caitlyn Jenner, star of stage and screen John Barrowman and his larger than life parents plus music and chat from frontman Danny O'Donoghue, and The Script.
Rob And Romesh Vs
Series 1, Episode 2 - The NFLAs Super Bowl fever takes over the world, Rob and Romesh go on a mission to learn all about America's best loved sport.
QI
Series R, Episode 15 - RogueBill Bailey, Jack Carroll and Olga Koch join regular panellist Alan Davies as Sandi Toksvig hosts the quiz with a difference, asking questions on the theme of rogue.
Taskmaster
Series 14, Episode 3 - Dafty In The MiddleBy the end of this episode, many curious questions will be answered. Can Alex Horne throw a ball over a house? Why would Munya Chawawa punch a bucket of sand? Does Dara O Briain enjoy the conga? Can Fern Brady fly? Is Sarah Millican fireproof? Why is John Kearns so disliked by his own teammates? And, perhaps most curious of all, why is the notoriously brutal Taskmaster treating the whole gang to a delicious dessert?
Not Going Out
Series 2, Episode 6 - DatingAs Lucy and Guy's relationship intensifies, Lee starts to ponder his lack of a girlfriend.
The Larkins
Series 1, Episode 4 - In Which The Larkins Rescue The Railway StationIt's strawberry picking season and the Larkins and many of the villagers including Pauline are off to pick fruit. Pop, however, sets himself the task of saving the local railway station after discovering it's set to be closed permanently.
Fantasy Football League
Series 1, Episode 3Matt Lucas and Elis James host the comedy chat show, with guest managers Mo Farah and AJ Tracey joining to talk about the week in football and share their fantasy teams.
Late Night Mash
Series 2, Episode 6Judi Love gives her take on Black History Month, Olga Koch has a message for Putin, and Fin Taylor tackles the topic of replacing Scotland.
Shopping With Keith Lemon
Series 3, Episode 6 - Rylan & Amir Khan and Faryal MakhdoomKeith goes shopping for bath bombs with TV presenter Rylan Clark, and pops to a garden centre and party store with Faryal Makhdoom and Amir Khan.
I Hate You
Episode 1 - CanadaBecca has a thoroughly enjoyable dinner date with an older gentleman, inspiring Charlie to follow in her footsteps.
Bloods
Series 2, Episode 1Wendy and Maleek find new sources of conflict when they are involved in a malpractice investigation and Wendy's deeply irritating son starts work at the depot.
I Hate You
Episode 2 - EinsteinWhilst Becca nurses a sore back, Charlie is sent to collect a rare signature of Albert Einstein from a rather eccentric lord.
The Russell Howard Hour
Series 6, Episode 5Russell looks back at the week in news, discussing the electricity crisis, demands for a new PM and Iranian protests. Stand-up from US comic Michelle Wolf.
Live At The Apollo
Series 10, Episode 1 - Sarah Millican, Russell Kane, Joe LycettThe series kicks off with Sarah Millican as host with special guests Russell Kane and Joe Lycett.
Holding
Episode 4When PJ uncovers the truth behind the body, Duneen is changed forever. No longer able to turn a blind eye to those around him, PJ is forced to confront his own personal demons as he attempts to bring the killer to justice.
Question Team
Series 2, Episode 5Making up Richard Ayoade's self-quizzing collective in Episode 5 are James Acaster, Jen Brister, Lara Ricote and special guest Rosie Jones. Each has arrived with their own round but who will leave victorious?
Taskmaster
Series 14, Episode 3 - Dafty In The MiddleBy the end of this episode, many curious questions will be answered. Can Alex Horne throw a ball over a house? Why would Munya Chawawa punch a bucket of sand? Does Dara O Briain enjoy the conga? Can Fern Brady fly? Is Sarah Millican fireproof? Why is John Kearns so disliked by his own teammates? And, perhaps most curious of all, why is the notoriously brutal Taskmaster treating the whole gang to a delicious dessert?
Best Of Chewin' The Fat
Series 1, Episode 4Highlights from the first two series of Scottish sketch show featuring a cast of recurring characters.
All Round To Mrs. Brown's
Series 4, Episode 2Tonight Agnes and the family are joined in studio by the hilarious Lee Mack; actress and star of Silent Witness Emilia Fox and her mammy Joanna David; plus music from the legendary Billy Ocean.
Mock The Week
Series 18, Episode 10Dara O Briain looks back on the latest events in news and politics, with the help of Angela Barnes, Ed Byrne, Kerry Godliman, Milton Jones, Chris Washington and regular panellist Hugh Dennis.
Blankety Blank
Series 19, Episode 3Bradley Walsh hosts as a panel of six celebrities fill in the missing blanks and help win some brilliant prizes for some very lucky contestants. This week, he's joined by Lorraine Kelly, Richard Madeley, Suzi Ruffell, Jimmy Carr, Su Pollard and Big Narstie.
Peep Show
Series 8, Episode 4 - Big Mad AndyMark employs a decorator, Andy, to repaint the kitchen, and Jeremy helps out by giving him free 'life-coaching' advice. Meanwhile, Mark enrols on a business studies evening course and meets Stephanie, an attractive older woman.
Big Zuu's Big Eats
Big Zuu's Christmas Eats, Episode 1 - Music SpecialBig Zuu is joined by some mega musician friends including one of the UK's biggest rappers, AJ Tracey; grime MC JME with his sister and radio presenter Julie Adenuga; and hip-hop musician Loyle Carner.
Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing
Series 5, Episode 4 - Perch (River Thames, Berkshire)Paul and Bob take trusty terrier Ted to fish for perch on the River Thames. Comedian Richard Herring joins them for dinner, and discusses his recent battle with testicular cancer.
Peep Show
Series 8, Episode 5 - Chairman MarkJeremy, desperate to avoid living with Superhans, sparks up an old relationship with Mark's sister, Sara.
The Stand Up Sketch Show
Series 3, Episode 1The return of the programme in which routines by renowned and up-and-coming comedians are reconstructed as sketches, featuring Russell Kane, Kojo Anim, Seann Walsh, Elf Lyons, Luke Kempner, Josh Weller and Jayde Adams.
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 10 (Channel 4: Series 11), Episode 6Sean Lock and Danny Dyer take on Joe Wilkinson and Gabby Logan. Meanwhile David O'Doherty is in Dictionary Corner.
QI
Series O, Episode 11 - Objects And OrnamentsSandi Toksvig looks at some Objects And Ornaments. Along the way, you'll discover where you can find an actual UFO, and meet the world's best-dressed crab. With Sarah Millican, Alice Levine and Cariad Lloyd.
Chef!
Series 2, Episode 3 - Do The Right ThingTo what lengths will Gareth Blackstock, best chef in Britain and probably the world, go to acquire the best ingredients for his acclaimed dishes?
The Stand Up Sketch Show
Series 3, Episode 2Routines by comedians including Huge Davies, Judi Love, Alfie Brown, Bobby Mair, Suzi Ruffell, Iain Stirling and Russell Kane are reconstructed as sketches.
The Ricky Gervais Show
Series 2, Episode 2Karl imagines what life would be like if he had a doppelgänger.
The Fosters
Series 1, Episode 10 - The WindfallSamuel discovers a paper bag full of thousands of pounds, apparently dumped after a local supermarket robbery. The community is incensed at his decision to return £12,000 to the shop - but he's not so bothered.
The Ricky Gervais Show
Series 2, Episode 3Ricky teaches Karl some facts about animals; Karl offers a misguided theory about evolution, then recounts the latest scientific breakthroughs in medicine; and Stephen reads from Karl's Diary, sharing his thoughts about the Congo, the decline of gadgets and watching films with subtitles.
Desmond's
Series 3, Episode 7 - The Waiting GameWhile Desmond and Shirley get ready for a plush evening out at the Hilton, Gloria plans to take advantage of her parents' absence to help Louise carry out a pregnancy test.
I Literally Just Told You
Series 2, Episode 3Jimmy Carr hosts this game show in which contestants are given every answer. As usual, resident factologist Dr Maggie Aderin-Pocock brings some sense to the proceedings.
Peep Show
Series 6, Episode 4 - The AffairMark discovers that Jeremy's girlfriend Elena, has a guilty secret.
Ellie & Natasia
Episode 6The Internet Nails gang hand out some special awards and we join an East London candle workshop.
Channel Hopping With Jon Richardson
Series 2, Episode 5Jon gives his take on the world's wildest TV, with Rosie Jones and regular guest Judi Love. Featuring poverty porn game show Repo Games, sex education shows, and South Korean TV.
The Football's On
Football chat show hosted by Ian Stone, with a series of comic guests.
Don't Hug Me I'm Scared
Episode 4 - FriendshipWhat is real friendship? In today's lesson the gang are excited to get online using their computer but, oh no! Yellow Guy has lost the password. Red Guy and Duck berate him but luckily a confident worm called Warren steps in to stop the bullying getting too out of hand. Warren decides to show the guys the true meaning of friendship by climbing inside Yellow Guy's head.