Television
TV schedule Monday 9th December 2019
Up With The Lark
Ethel & Gracie head to the country, disguised as Land Girls, on the trail of a gang of black marketeers.
Twirlywoos
Series 3, Episode 22 - More About OutsideThe Twirlywoos are in a hairdresser's salon. They watch as the hairdresser puts all his signs outside the shop. Whilst the hairdresser is busy, the Twirlywoos decide to put everything outside - including the customers.
2point4 Children
Series 2, Christmas Special - MiseryAs Rona prepares to spend Christmas alone, the Porter clan reluctantly pack up to indulge Bill's guilt complex by spending the festive season with her intolerable mother in Suffolk.
Dennis & Gnasher Unleashed!
Series 1, Episode 30 - The Dog Ate It MissGnasher accidentally gulps down Dennis' permission slip for the school trip! There's only one thing for it - they need Prof von Screwtop to use his shrink ray to shrink them down to bite-size humans so they can travel on a sausage into Gnasher's tummy and find the slip! Easy! Well it would be if it wasn't for the tiny alien empress Miasma living in there.
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 15 - Quark GamesThe heroes find themselves fighting for their lives on an alien world in Quark's latest money-spinning sports event.
The Two Ronnies
Series 3, Christmas Special - The Two Ronnies Old Fashioned Christmas MysteryHugely popular and long-running sketch show that established Ronnie Corbett and Ronnie Barker as two of the biggest names in British comedy.
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 23 - Rat PackDave wants to learn to play the drums at school, but is given the recorder. With a talent show around the corner, Dave gets practising.
Go Jetters
Series 3, Episode 20 - Go Jet Academy: Sea Arch EscapeThe Go Jetters race to save Tala and Xuli, who are trapped beneath a collapsing sea arch.
The Two Ronnies
Christmas SpecialHugely popular and long-running sketch show that established Ronnie Corbett and Ronnie Barker as two of the biggest names in British comedy.
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 24 - Flea ManDave and Fuzzypeg the dog get dirty playing at the local dump, so dirty in fact that Fuzzypeg picks up an extremely grumpy flea.
Justin's House
Series 4, Christmas Special - Cat's First ChristmasJoin Justin, Robert the Robot and Little Monster in Justin's House as they aim to serve up the best Christmas ever for their adventurer neighbour, Cat.
The Huggetts Abroad
A feel-good comedy road movie in which the Huggetts family drive towards a new life in South Africa by truck.
George & Mildred
Series 1, Episode 1 - Moving OnWith their home due for demolition by order of the council, George and Mildred Roper are forced to look to move home. Much against the wishes of George and the estate agent - who happens to be the next-door neighbour - Mildred settles on 46 Peacock Crescent, Hampton Wick.
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of three Christmas specials from Britain's longest-running sitcom.
Timmy Time
Series 2, Episode 13 - Timmy's PlaneFinlay makes a fantastic paper plane and Timmy tries to copy him, but his versions won't fly as well.
Minder
Series 7, Episode 2 - Days Of Fines And ClosuresArthur attempts to do a deal with Tony Benson and his new nightclub. Terry helps Dave by looking after the Winchester Club.
Sooty
Series 3, Episode 1 - The Garden PartyThe gang prepare Mr Slater's stately home for a lavish garden party. But with changing weather and a broken statue, can Sooty's magic save the day?
George & Mildred
Series 1, Episode 2 - The Bad PennyThe Ropers move into their new home. As ever, nothing runs smoothly, and they soon find themselves locked out and imposing on the Fourmiles and an important dinner guest.
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 21 - Fitting TogetherThe Twirlywoos learn how to fit pipes together when they create a surprising water feature, and the Very Important Lady falls apart and needs some help fitting back together.
Man About The House
Series 1, Episode 4 - And Then There Were TwoSparks begin to fly in the flat, but with two women and just one man, someone's bound to get in the way. When Robin heads out for a drink with old friend Larry, things get even more complicated!
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 5, Christmas SpecialPlans to hold a pageant don't go quite as Hyacinth anticipated. Could this be remotely connected to the fact that she is organising it?
Still Open All Hours
Pilot, Episode 1 - Still Open All HoursGranville attempts to get a date with old flame Mavis without her terrifying sister Madge finding out; Leroy shuns the old delivery bike and finds an altogether more attractive way to deliver the orders; and a sneaky new plan to shift a lot of anchovy paste has some rather surprising side effects.
Are You Being Served?
Series 7, Christmas Special - The Punch And Judy AffairWhen the staff cross the picket lines, Mr. Grace orders them to put on a show for the strikers' children to smooth things over.
Timmy Time
Series 2, Episode 22 - Timmy Makes A SplashEveryone is having fun in the paddling pool until Stripey pulls the stopper out of the valve.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 32 - Car WashMr Bean builds a car washing machine that attracts all manner of customers.
Dad's Army
Series 7, Episode 6 - Turkey DinnerDuring a drunken evening, Jones and his men accidentally shoot a turkey. Having failed to establish the bird's rightful owner, they decide the best thing to do is to offer the older residents of Walmington a turkey dinner.
Twirlywoos
Series 4, Episode 11 - More About BalancingStop-motion preschool programme about the adventures of four inquisitive Twirlywoos.
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of three Christmas specials from Britain's longest-running sitcom.
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 25 - Spuds On A PlaneDave's first plane journey doesn't go to plan when the air pressure and the need to go to the toilet makes his head swell.
The House In Nightmare Park
Frankie Howerd plays actor Foster Twelvetrees, invited to perform at an eery country estate.
Minder
Series 7, Episode 3 - Fatal ImpressionA reformed gambler dies owing Arthur money, but a religious miracle seems to offer some compensation.
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 26 - The Wrinkly BusInstructed to keep an eye on Gran while the rest of the Spuds visit to the doctor, Dave finds that she has escaped.
Dennis & Gnasher Unleashed!
Series 1, Episode 19 - The Great Beanotown Bake-OffPieface's all time hero, Cherry Bakewell, is coming to Beanotown to judge the annual bake-off.
Are You Being Served?
Series 7, Christmas Special - The Punch And Judy AffairWhen the staff cross the picket lines, Mr. Grace orders them to put on a show for the strikers' children to smooth things over.
Dad's Army
Series 8, Christmas Special - My Brother And IWhilst Captain Mainwaring prepares to host an important social event, his drunken brother Barry arrives in order to claim a family heirloom that he believes to be rightfully his.
Go Jetters
Series 3, Episode 21 - Go Jet Academy: Ghost CrabsGlitch damages the Academy crabs' habitat when he takes all the sand from their beach.
Bread
Series 6, Episode 9Adrian's new relationship with Irene has already hit a snag, Nellie becomes more concerned about Grandad when he starts becoming forgetful and Aveline is given a reality check by her agent.
Robin's Nest
Series 6, Episode 5 - Anniversary WaltzRobin and Vicky think they might just manage a night off.
Dad's Army
Christmas Special - Battle Of The Giants!Humiliated by Square's comments for his lack of old service medals, Mainwaring and his opposite commit their men to a high-stakes contest of skill, initiative and military cunning. Which is the better body of men - but more to the point, who is the better commander?
Are You Being Served?
Series 7, Episode 2 - Strong Stuff This InsuranceThe staff are forced to undergo physicals for Grace Brothers' insurance scheme.
As Time Goes By
Series 1, Episode 3 - The Copper KettleLionel takes Jean for a day out in the Buckinghamshire countryside just as they did when they first met, in an attempt to rekindle something of their long-lost romance. However, his hope of locating a particular restaurant named The Copper Kettle hits a few snags.
Only Fools And Horses
Christmas Special - DatesDel attempts to meet his dream woman at a dating agency after seeing Trigger have some success. Meanwhile, Uncle Albert is dropping heavy hints about his impending birthday...
Would I Lie To You?
Series 10, Episode 1With Romesh Ranganathan, Martin Kemp, Mel Giedroyc and David Haye.
Horrible Histories
Series 6, Episode 3 - Mardy Mary Queen Of ScotsWe follow the young Mary as she stumbles from young girl in Scotland, to Queen in France, back to Queen in Scotland, and finally to Elizabeth I's public enemy no. 1 - with a bit of Queenian Rhapsody thrown in for good measure! Meanwhile across the world we meet silver-nosed Danish scientist Tycho Brahe, and Mr H gives us his unique take on the epic Battle of Lepanto in another History's Craziest Fools.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 24, Episode 10 - All Of A FlorrieTruly finds out out what it's like when a flirtation from the past turns up with amorous intentions.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 32 - Car WashMr Bean builds a car washing machine that attracts all manner of customers.
Would I Lie To You?
Series 10, Episode 2With Bob Mortimer, Nadiya Hussain, Diane Morgan and Michael Smiley.
Millie Inbetween
Series 2, Documentary - A Day In The Life Of Millie InbetweenA look behind the scenes to see how the show is made. We meet the cast and crew on a typical day to see how the series comes together. Ever wondered if Millie and the gang go to school while we are shooting? Who does Millie's make-up? Or who's the funniest cast member? All these questions, and more, will be answered in this behind-the-scenes special.
Dad's Army
Series 7, Episode 6 - Turkey DinnerDuring a drunken evening, Jones and his men accidentally shoot a turkey. Having failed to establish the bird's rightful owner, they decide the best thing to do is to offer the older residents of Walmington a turkey dinner.
Russell Howard's Good News
Series 3, Highlights Special - Best BitsHere is a chance to see some of the best bits from throughout the run again, as well as some previously unseen material.
Up North
Series 1, Episode 5 - Trouble Up NorthSlasher Jenkins escapes from Donny Prison and ends up gate crashing his brother-in-laws birthday party. Patch gets a 50th birthday he will never forget in a hurry!
The Vicar Of Dibley
2006/2007 Specials, New Year Special - The Vicar In WhiteThe date of the wedding is fast approaching, and the Vicar's delighted to be attending in a dress rather than a dog collar. However, the villagers decide that their gift to the happy couple will be to organise everything for them - something Geri was actually rather looking forward to, thank you!
No Sex Please - We're British
Ronnie Corbett and Arthur Lowe star in an adaptation of the long-running stage farce about a bank, some Swedish glassware, and obscene material.
Dave Gorman: Terms And Conditions Apply
Episode 8 - His Helmet Didn't Come OutDave Gorman is joined by Ed Gamble, Rose Matafeo and David O'Doherty.
The Royle Family
Christmas Special - The Golden Egg CupThere's a new buzz in the Royle family household as it is a special time for Jim and Barbara and a celebration (including Twiglets and scotch eggs) is planned.
Elis James: Funny Nation
Episode 1Elis James delves into the world of Welsh stereotypes. From sheep to miners, historically there's been no getting away from them in Welsh comedy.
The Young Offenders
Series 2, Episode 5Billy Murphy enlists the help of Conor, Jock, and eventually Mairéad, to avoid getting killed by a former cellmate of his who has just been released from prison.
Porridge
Series 3, Episode 6 - Final StretchGodber's case is coming up before the parole board, and with his clean record and his O Levels, he's sure to sail through it. Unless his feud with Jarvis - all brawn but little brain - escalates. Can he turn the other cheek, or has a man got to do what a man's got to do?
Breaking The News
Series 2, Episode 7Host Des Clarke is in Glasgow, inviting guests Janey Godley, Maisie Adam, Jamie MacDonald and Jim Smith, to take a satirical swipe at the week's news in Scotland, across the UK and around the world.
Mock The Week
Series 16, Christmas SpecialDara O Briain and Hugh Dennis serve up their unique festive take in a Christmas special filled with quizzes, challenges, out-takes and unseen material.
The Young Offenders
Series 2, Episode 5Billy Murphy enlists the help of Conor, Jock, and eventually Mairéad, to avoid getting killed by a former cellmate of his who has just been released from prison.
The Young Offenders
Series 2, Episode 5Billy Murphy enlists the help of Conor, Jock, and eventually Mairéad, to avoid getting killed by a former cellmate of his who has just been released from prison.
Have I Got News For You
Series 58, Episode 8Guest host Stephen Mangan is joined by Ian, Paul and panellists Roisin Conaty, and the actor Brian Cox.
A League Of Their Own
Series 9, Episode 7In the penultimate episode, James Corden and Co are joined by Olympic diver Tom Daley, athlete Katarina Johnson-Thompson and stand-up comic Romesh Ranganathan.
Up For It
Series 1, Episode 6Rosco teaches Ashley and Christopher how to drive, and the trio also try their hand at hairdressing and present a guide to travel.
Have I Got News For You
Series 58, Episode 8Guest host Stephen Mangan is joined by Ian, Paul and panellists Roisin Conaty, and the actor Brian Cox.
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 2, Christmas Special - The Gâteau From The ChâteauGeneral Von Klinkerhoffen's control over the town is beginning to be felt, and no one is happy; not the resistance, nor the army, and certainly not the gestapo. But with the help of drugs, poison darts and exploding confectionery, one party must be able to stop him - right?
Have I Got News For You
Series 58, Episode 8Guest host Stephen Mangan is joined by Ian, Paul and panellists Roisin Conaty, and the actor Brian Cox.
Two Doors Down
Christmas SpecialBeth and Eric are hoping to have a quiet festive feast on their own.
Comedy Central Live
Episode 5 - Luisa OmielanThe hilarious Luisa Omielan performs live from Camden as she tackles Brexit and dating in her stand-up special.
The Graham Norton Show
Series 26, Episode 10 - Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Jodie Whittaker, Michael Palin, Harry StylesDwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart talk about Jumanji, Jodie Whittaker says the new Doctor Who is very ambitious, Michael Palin reveals that filming in North Korea was difficult, and Harry Styles performs live in the studio.
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 6 (Channel 4: Series 7), Episode 13Jimmy Carr is joined by Sean Lock and Liza Tarbuck, taking on special guest captain Sarah Millican with Romesh Ranganathan. Susie Dent is joined by Phill Jupitus in Dictionary Corner, while Rachel Riley looks after the numbers and letters.
The Graham Norton Show
Series 26, Episode 10 - Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Jodie Whittaker, Michael Palin, Harry StylesDwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart talk about Jumanji, Jodie Whittaker says the new Doctor Who is very ambitious, Michael Palin reveals that filming in North Korea was difficult, and Harry Styles performs live in the studio.
Would I Lie To You?
Series 10, Episode 1With Romesh Ranganathan, Martin Kemp, Mel Giedroyc and David Haye.
The Graham Norton Show
Series 26, Episode 10 - Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart, Jodie Whittaker, Michael Palin, Harry StylesDwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart talk about Jumanji, Jodie Whittaker says the new Doctor Who is very ambitious, Michael Palin reveals that filming in North Korea was difficult, and Harry Styles performs live in the studio.
Comedy Central Live
Episode 6 - Kiri Pritchard-McLeanKiri Pritchard-Mclean takes to the stage to perform her very own stand-up special. With brand new material, Kiri takes us through her past relationships and 'micro-cheating' on social media.
Smack The Pony
Christmas 2002, Christmas SpecialOne woman learns it's pretty important to wear a bra when playing football. Another makes an interesting grooming choice. And a group of somewhat undignified inner-city monks.
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 8, Christmas Special - A Bun In The OvenIt is September 13th, 1943; almost 2 years since we last saw René, who is finally - at long, long last - rid of the English airmen. His troubles are far from over, however, as Yvette announces her pregnancy. Meanwhile at the chateau, Gruber and the Colonel are growing increasingly worried at the progress of the war.
Shopping With Keith Lemon
Series 1, Episode 8 - Big Narstie & Kate NashKeith accompanies grime artist Big Narstie as he shops for a new sofa and goes to Brighton searching for pants with singer and actress Kate Nash.
Would I Lie To You?
Series 10, Episode 2With Bob Mortimer, Nadiya Hussain, Diane Morgan and Michael Smiley.
Smack The Pony
Christmas 2002, New Year SpecialOne woman doesn't take a break-up very well. There's a 'street' MP who wants to join a gang. And someone is willing to go to extreme lengths to get a pair of shoes they really, really want.
The Stand Up Sketch Show
Series 1, Episode 6Russell Kane, Fern Brady, Suzi Ruffell and many more feature in this episode.
The Royle Family
Christmas Special - The Golden Egg CupThere's a new buzz in the Royle family household as it is a special time for Jim and Barbara and a celebration (including Twiglets and scotch eggs) is planned.
The Stand Up Sketch Show
Series 1, Episode 2This edition features Stephen Bailey, Tom Allen, Felicity Ward, Joel Dommett and more.
A League Of Their Own
Series 12, Episode 1In the opening episode, the boys are joined by England and Tottenham Hotspur superstar Dele Alli, funnyman Stephen Mangan and comedian Rob Beckett.
Russell Howard Live: Wonderbox
A TV edit of Russell Howard's 2014 DVD.
On The Buses
Series 7, Episode 11 - The AllowanceA new clippie arrives at the depot, but she is no ordinary woman! A committed feminist, it's not long before Jack's turned her to his advantage in the never-ending war against the Inspector, as all the clippies demand extra pay for public convenience visits on their routes.
Smack The Pony
Christmas 2002, Christmas SpecialOne woman learns it's pretty important to wear a bra when playing football. Another makes an interesting grooming choice. And a group of somewhat undignified inner-city monks.
Duck Quacks Don't Echo
Series 3, Highlights Special - Best OfRelive the most memorable moments from series three of the riotous panel show hosted by Lee Mack.
Comedy Store
Rhod Gilbert has webbed fingers. He's a sexual pervert. He dreams of the navy. It's all explained at the Comedy Store! Also, his thoughts on Aussies, the 'fake Welsh', chocolate willies, and more!
A League Of Their Own
Series 11, Episode 6James Corden, Freddie Flintoff and Jamie Redknapp are joined by Alex Scott, Kevin Bridges and Rudd Gullit.
Smack The Pony
Christmas 2002, New Year SpecialOne woman doesn't take a break-up very well. There's a 'street' MP who wants to join a gang. And someone is willing to go to extreme lengths to get a pair of shoes they really, really want.
Judge Romesh
Series 2, Episode 5Paul Danan finally gets his day in court with Shaun Williamson after a pantomime-based fallout. And a husband is sick and tired of his miserly wife ruining Christmas.
The Chris Ramsey Show
Series 1, Episode 5This week, Tom Rosenthal and Tez Ilyas roast members of the audience and play a game of Mario Kart whilst trying not to get electrocuted. TOWIE's Ferne McCann helps one lucky lady find a date on the 11.21 train from London to Newcastle.