Television
TV schedule Thursday 5th September 2019
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Only When I Laugh
Series 1, Episode 4 - The Man With The FaceArchie's lothario-like tendencies are coming back to haunt him when he's convinced he's being stalked by a Greek madman for besmirching his fiancée...
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Twirlywoos
Series 3, Episode 9 - More About UpThe Piece of Paper visits the Twirlywoos on the Big Red Boat and thenfolds itself into stairs for Chickedy and Chick to climb up.
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Beat The Internet With John Robins
Episode 9John Robins hosts the new comedy quiz show where contestants try to finish sentences based on some of the internet's most popular search terms.
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Dennis & Gnasher Unleashed!
Series 1, Episode 14 - Are We There YetiWhen the gang go on an adventure in search of the Beanotown Yeti, Walter follows with plans of his own for the rare beast, and Dennis and his chums must come to its rescue.
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A Sharp Intake Of Breath
Series 1, Episode 1 - Your Life In Their HandsPeter doesn't much feel like eating his breakfast, which leads Sheila to insist he visit the doctor for a check-up.
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The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 5 - CultureGeorge takes the Spuds to the museum of mouldy cheese. Anna dares Dave to lick the cheeses on display.
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Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 15 - Quark GamesThe heroes find themselves fighting for their lives on an alien world in Quark's latest money-spinning sports event.
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Bitz & Bob
Series 2, Episode 10 - Bevel Genie's Home Sweet HomeBitz, Bob and Purl are on a treasure hunt in Big Hot Sandy Desert.
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The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 6 - Bored SillyGran accidentally wins a board game as a Bingo prize, and after being locked up for years the game has a vendetta all of its own.
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Beat The Internet With John Robins
Episode 10John Robins hosts the new comedy quiz show where contestants try to finish sentences based on some of the internet's most popular search terms.
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The Zoo
Series 1, Episode 4 - The WegetarianNeil the wimpy lion is under pressure from his overbearing mother-in-law to 'man-up' and 'get buff' like previous alpha-male lion, Maximus.
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Lucky Feller
Episode 13 - The WeddingNow that his dreams are about to come true, Shorty is absolutely terrified about the events to come. It's almost as though he knew in advance what was about to happen...
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Go Jetters
Series 3, Episode 8 - Middle Of The World City, EcuadorAfter hearing about how the Monument to the Equator in Ciudad Mitad del Mundo is in the wrong location, Glitch and his Glitchbots pretend to be the Go Jetters and move the monument onto the equator. But when things start to go wrong, Glitch must learn that some glitches are fine the way they are.
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Chef!
Series 1, Episode 4 - The Big CheeseWhen Gareth discovers that renowned chef Albert Roux is coming to lunch, he rallies his team to create the perfect meal.
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Justin's House
Series 3, Episode 16 - Robot Of The YearRobert is being judged for a special robot award but he is too nervous to pass all the tests, so Justin decides to take the tests for him.
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On The Buses
Series 3, Episode 11 - Going SteadyStan has been going steady with Sally. There's only one snag: she's Blakey's niece.
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As Time Goes By
Series 6, Episode 4 - What's Wrong With Mrs. Bale?Even by Mrs. Bale's standards, her mood is particularly fractured and Jean, Rocky and Madge are dying to know what is wrong. Could it be a man? Lionel, meanwhile, is feeling unwell.
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Sooty
Series 1, Episode 13 - Drive In The CountryIt is Richard's day off so Sooty and Sweep have helped him prepare a picnic. But with Sooty-Stig driving the campervan, a flat tyre and no petrol, will Richard ever get a peaceful drive in the country?
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On The Buses
Series 3, Episode 12 - The SqueezeMoney is tight at home, so both Arthur and Stan investigate ways of increasing their income. Arthur's been repairing his motorbike and the pair wonder if there's someone out there gullible enough to buy it.
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Minder
Long-running comedy drama about the London criminal underworld, focusing on dodgy entrepreneur Arthur Daley and his 'minder', Terry.
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So Awkward
A selection of episodes from the second and third series of the children's sitcom.
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Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 4 - InsideThe Twirlywoos see a man putting something inside his tent, and they get carried away putting more and more things inside. Meanwhile, Peekaboo has managed to get stuck inside the teapot. Can Peekaboo get out without being spotted by the Twirlywoos?
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Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 26th of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
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Rising Damp
Series 1, Episode 5 - The ProwlerMiss Jones causes panic amongst the residents when she reports seeing a prowler in her room - or his shadow at least.
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The Darling Buds Of May
Series 1, Episode 4 - When The Green Woods Laugh (Part 2)Finding himself summonsed to appear in court on the morning of Charley and Mariette's wedding, Pop Larkin is about to join the large number of villagers who wish with all their hearts that they had never met Corinne Perigo.
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2point4 Children
Series 5, Episode 3 - The DeepLife at the Porters' appears to have taken on a relative level of normality. Stressful of course, but normal. Then Ben lets slip that he's agreed to watch the Grimes' house again.
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Chef!
Series 1, Episode 4 - The Big CheeseWhen Gareth discovers that renowned chef Albert Roux is coming to lunch, he rallies his team to create the perfect meal.
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Are You Being Served?
Series 9, Episode 6 - Lost And FoundTiddles goes missing and the staff try to comfort a distraught Mrs. Slocombe. Unfortunately she misinterprets Mr. Humphries's gestures for something a bit more romantic...
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Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 33 - Where Did You Get That Cat?Mr Bean chases Scrapper around Mrs Wicket's flat but her sideboard tumbles over, he is horrified to think he has squashed poor Scrapper.
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Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 19 - PopThe Twirlywoos learn about popping when they encounter a machine that makes bubbles. Back in the Boat, Peekaboo interrupts teatime when he blows some bubbles of his own.
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The Good Life
Series 3, Episode 7 - The Last Posh FrockAfter constantly being treated like one of the lads, the life of self sufficency upsets Barbara who admits to missing feeling like a woman. Tom eventually realises that Barbara gave up more than he did when they traded lives and performs a selfless act to try and help.
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Porridge
Series 3, Episode 4 - Pardon MeBlanco's parole hearing is imminent and it looks like he will be successful, but he's not happy. Convicted of killing his wife, he's always denied he committed the crime. Why should he accept the parole board's decision that he's done his time and paid his penance when he's innocent?
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The Constant Husband
When William Egerton emerges from a lengthy period of amnesia, he finds himself in a hotel in Wales.
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Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 26th of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
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Shaun The Sheep
Series 4, Episode 1 - ConesThe flock hear the enticing tunes of an ice cream van approaching and quickly hatch a plan to divert it into their field. While the driver seeks help, the flock have great fun with an endless supply of ice cream - but will they be able to cover their tracks before they're discovered?
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Minder
Series 5, Episode 2 - What Makes Shamy Run?Dave at the Winchester Arms points out that the banknotes given to Arthur by Shamy to pay off his debts are in fact forgeries.
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Dennis & Gnasher Unleashed!
Series 1, Episode 2 - Dare DennisA bungled attempt at a stunt leads Dennis to accidentally become an internet star and Beanotown celebrity. But his moment of fame is short-lived and he is soon replaced by Walter's cat who can play the piano. Dennis has to stage the best stunt yet to gain back his audience.
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Scream Street
Series 1, Episode 4 - Wolf GangFalling behind on his music work at school, Luke's parents get him a tutor.
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Diddy TV
Series 3, Episode 3 - Zingy Diddy SauceSettle in for Diddy Dick and Dom's Saturday Night Takeaway, high-diving reality challenge show Splosh, and action-packed adventure with the Mighty Useless Clunking Robots.
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The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 7 - Blinking 'EckBetty wants a nice photo of Dave and Anna, but the camera George uses happens to belong to Gran, and it's been cursed by an ancient mummy.
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The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 8 - WishesIf there were two things Dave could wish for it would be for Fuzzypeg to smell better, and for Gran to be nicer. Is getting what you want always a good thing?
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Go Jetters
Series 3, Episode 9 - Solar Race, AustraliaGlitch's hopes of winning a solar-powered race across the Australian outback are foiled when he crashes the Glitchster in the middle of the night. With the solar battery dead, he and Kyan are stranded with no water and no way out. It's up to the Go Jetters to find them and save the day.
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2point4 Children
Series 5, Episode 3 - The DeepLife at the Porters' appears to have taken on a relative level of normality. Stressful of course, but normal. Then Ben lets slip that he's agreed to watch the Grimes' house again.
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Gigglebiz
Series 4, Episode 1Professor Muddles tests the strength of ants, while two judges watch Keith Fitt set his football world record.
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Birds Of A Feather
Series 7, Episode 7 - Three Up, Two DownWith Darryl back inside, the business dead, and money equally unforthcoming, Sharon and Tracey are forced to consider selling Dalentrace and moving somewhere cheaper. Garth considers moving in with his girlfriend.

Are You Being Served?
Series 9, Episode 6 - Lost And FoundTiddles goes missing and the staff try to comfort a distraught Mrs. Slocombe. Unfortunately she misinterprets Mr. Humphries's gestures for something a bit more romantic...
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'Allo 'Allo!
Series 6, Episode 4 - The Nicked AirmenThe British Airmen have been arrested, and Michelle fears that they could reveal Nighthawk's identity under interrogation, so orders a daring rescue plan to take place in the dead of night.
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The Good Life
Series 3, Episode 7 - The Last Posh FrockAfter constantly being treated like one of the lads, the life of self sufficency upsets Barbara who admits to missing feeling like a woman. Tom eventually realises that Barbara gave up more than he did when they traded lives and performs a selfless act to try and help.
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Waiting For God
Series 3, Episode 4Having become unadvisedly engaged at a local hunt ball, Harvey welcomes a new guest for a short stay at Bayview - his mother.
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Porridge
Series 3, Episode 4 - Pardon MeBlanco's parole hearing is imminent and it looks like he will be successful, but he's not happy. Convicted of killing his wife, he's always denied he committed the crime. Why should he accept the parole board's decision that he's done his time and paid his penance when he's innocent?
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Would I Lie To You?
Series 3, Episode 5This week, comedian Jack Whitehall and former Sun editor Kelvin MacKenzie join David to do battle with Lee's team mates, TV presenter Christine Bleakley and stand-up comedian Frankie Boyle.
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Horrible Histories
Series 1, Episode 10HHTV News reports live from the Battle of Thermopylae, Celt housewives find decorative uses for severed heads and we learn the revolting truth about Roman toilets.
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Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 18, Episode 3 - The Mysterious C.W. NorthropJust as Smiler confides in Clegg that he has fallen in love, Ivy receives a note from what could be a secret admirer.
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Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 33 - Where Did You Get That Cat?Mr Bean chases Scrapper around Mrs Wicket's flat but her sideboard tumbles over, he is horrified to think he has squashed poor Scrapper.
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Dad's Army
Series 3, Episode 5 - Something Nasty In The VaultDuring an air-raid, the bank is hit by a bomb. The good news is that the bomb has not blown up. The bad news is reason why it has not: Mainwaring and Wilson are holding it!
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Would I Lie To You?
Series 3, Episode 6This week, TV presenter Davina McCall and comedian Dave Gorman join David's camp and compete against journalistic powerhouse Janet Street-Porter and funnyman Omid Djalili on Lee's team.
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Duck Quacks Don't Echo
Series 6, Episode 4TV presenter Alex Jones and comedians Harry Enfield and Jason Byrne join Lee Mack to put far-fetched facts to the test. Can a Slinky defy gravity?
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Dad's Army
Series 3, Episode 7 - Big GunsThe platoon are given some extra fire power when they get a large naval gun. Now it is just a matter of learning how to fire it, and removing anything that can be used as cover by the Germans.
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QI
Series D, Special - DeathA Halloween-themed episode, with Andy Parsons, Clive Anderson and Sean Lock.
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Not Going Out
Series 4, Episode 3 - MovieLucy is fed up of Lee treating her flat as if he owns it. He promises to change but omits to mention that he has already let the flat out to a film director who is paying Lee £500 to use the flat while Lucy's out at work.
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8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 12, Episode 8The guests joining Jimmy, Jon and Sean this week are Johnny Vegas, Joe Lycett, Joey Essex from The Only Way Is Essex and Jennifer Metcalfe from Hollyoaks.
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Live At The Apollo
Series 11, Christmas Special - Noel At The ApolloIn the fabulously festive final episode, the incredible Nina Conti is the host, introducing the brilliant Tanyalee Davis, Royal Variety Show favourite Hal Cruttenden and star of The Last Leg and Mock The Week, Josh Widdicombe.
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A League Of Their Own
Series 14, Episode 4Sports broadcaster Clare Balding takes to the field to babysit Jamie, Freddie and Romesh - so at least someone will know what they're talking about. Also joining the gang this week will be Rob Beckett, Chemmy Alcott and Harry Winks.
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Goodness Gracious Me
Series 1, Episode 1In this first episode, the Calcutta Male Voice Choir perform for the first time outside of India; we meet Guru Mahareshi Yogi; the Teenagers perform a Thames-side rap; and there's trouble ordering when going for an English.
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The Inbetweeners
Series 2, Episode 1 - The Field TripIt's a new term and the infamous sociology and geography field trip to Swanage is coming up; all the boys are on board.
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Still Game
Scottish sitcom about pensioners Jack and Victor, a duo who strike a blow against ageism with their rascally antics.
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The Mash Report
Series 3, Episode 1Britain's most uncompromising and controversial topical satire tackles all the news from a world gone mad and a country now genuinely run by Boris Johnson. Nish Kumar plays host to an array of correspondents who can't quite believe what they're seeing.
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Judge Romesh
Series 1, Episode 9This week there's a car seller and his friend, whose brute strength and stupidity has landed him in front of the judge; and a prankster boyfriend whose jokes have gone too far with his girlfriend, and with Judge Romesh.
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This Way Up
Series 1, Episode 5An unplanned night out with Bradley leads to some suspect choices for Aine.
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Brassic
Series 1, Episode 4Scrambling to pay back gangster Terence McCann, Vinnie and the lads accept some fast cash from a disgruntled housewife who hires them to kill her ex-husband's prized koi carp collection.
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Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps
Series 8, Episode 5 - D.I.V.O.R.C.EDonna and Gaz have decided to get divorced, a decision that takes them down memory lane.
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The Inbetweeners
Series 2, Episode 2 - Work ExperienceIt's work experience week at school. Jay and Simon work at a plant hire, but a mix-up leaves Neil at a newspaper and Will at a garage.
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Judge Romesh
Series 1, Episode 10In this episode entering the court is a man whose 60+ stag dos have come between him and his fiancée. Plus the amateur burlesque group who have come to the court for compensation over wet knickers.
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Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow
Series 2, Episode 2 - SunderlandMichael McIntyre takes his Comedy Roadshow to the Empire Theatre in Sunderland. Headlining tonight is comedy gem of the North East, local lass Sarah Millican, with special guests Simon Evans, Jimeoin and Imran Yusuf.
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Romesh Ranganathan: Irrational Live
TV edit of Romesh Ranganathan's stand-up DVD.
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Blackadder
A selection of episodes from the second series of the comic historic saga.
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The Reluctant Landlord
Series 2, Episode 1 - Daddy Do CareRomesh becomes sole carer for the day when Natasha is urgently called into work. Juggling the pub and childcare quickly becomes problematic.
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8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 14 (Channel 4: Series 15), Episode 3Jimmy Carr hosts as Alan Carr and Josh Widdicombe take on guest captain Joe Wilkinson and Sara Pascoe. Bill Bailey is in Dictionary Corner.
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Would I Lie To You?
Series 3, Episode 7Joining David this week are Olympic cyclist Sir Chris Hoy and impressionist Ronni Ancona. Teaming up with Lee are comedian and author Danny Wallace and sports presenter Gabby Logan.
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Absolutely Fabulous
Series 1, Episode 6 - BirthdayEdina is forty. As her family and friends gather, Edina sulks at the horror of her age and hides upstairs. She's determined to only enjoy the day on her terms - and that means annoying everyone else.
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A League Of Their Own
Series 14, Episode 4Sports broadcaster Clare Balding takes to the field to babysit Jamie, Freddie and Romesh - so at least someone will know what they're talking about. Also joining the gang this week will be Rob Beckett, Chemmy Alcott and Harry Winks.
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The Ricky Gervais Show
Series 2, Episode 12Ricky, Stephen and Karl discuss whether old urinals or sharks in formaldehyde should be considered works of art.
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8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 14 (Channel 4: Series 15), Episode 2Lee Mack and Victoria Coren Mitchell take on Alan Carr and Dane Baptiste. Sam Simmons is in with Susie Dent, and Rachel Riley is in charge of the letters and numbers.
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Would I Lie To You?
Series 3, Episode 8Talking 'porkies' this week are fashionista Trinny Woodall, Psychoville star Reece Shearsmith, West End star Michael Ball and acerbic critic and TV presenter Charlie Brooker.
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The Ricky Gervais Show
Series 2, Episode 13Ricky and Stephen challenge Karl to describe his ideal version of the world but Karl is suspicious of a perfect life. Karl describes his theory of the 'Problem Hole' and explains his snack eating rituals to Ricky and Stephen.
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Inside No. 9
Series 3, Christmas Special - The Devil Of ChristmasJulian Devonshire, his pregnant wife Kathy, their son Toby and mother in law Celia arrive at the alpine chalet for a family holiday.
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Brassic
Series 1, Episode 4Scrambling to pay back gangster Terence McCann, Vinnie and the lads accept some fast cash from a disgruntled housewife who hires them to kill her ex-husband's prized koi carp collection.
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Russell Howard's Good News
Series 3, Episode 8Russell Howard gives his take on some of the key stories of the week as well as highlighting some of the more overlooked items that have caught his eye during his forensic trawl through newspapers, websites, TV and radio shows.
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Mock The Week
Series 16, Episode 5Dara O Briain and Hugh Dennis look back on another week's events with the help of guests Angela Barnes, Ed Byrne, Hal Cruttenden, Ed Gamble and Zoe Lyons.
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Absolutely Fabulous
Series 1, Episode 6 - BirthdayEdina is forty. As her family and friends gather, Edina sulks at the horror of her age and hides upstairs. She's determined to only enjoy the day on her terms - and that means annoying everyone else.
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Live At The Apollo
Series 7, Episode 1 - Micky Flanagan, Seann Walsh, Jason ByrneMicky Flanagan hosts the first episode of the new series of Live At The Apollo, with guests Seann Walsh and Jason Byrne.
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We Have Been Watching
Episode 3In this episode classic clips from Blackadder, Outnumbered, Only Fools And Horses and Extras are watched and discussed by guests including Maxine Peake and Diane Morgan; Craig Charles and Robert Llewellyn; Nigel Planer and Adil Ray; and James Acaster and Nish Kumar.
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Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps
Series 8, Episode 5 - D.I.V.O.R.C.EDonna and Gaz have decided to get divorced, a decision that takes them down memory lane.
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Stath Lets Flats
Series 2, Episode 3 - An Completely Different GirlStath is struggling with the smart new clients brought in by Julian, until he meets Harriet, a well-meaning middle-class millennial, who takes a shine to him. But Stath soon finds himself out of his depth with her intellectual friends. Meanwhile Al uses his singing talents to get close to Sophie.
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Da Ali G Show
Sacha Baron Cohen provides an inimitable mix of global reportage and celebrity chat via his characters Ali G, Borat and Bruno.
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Duck Quacks Don't Echo
Series 6, Episode 3Are locals the best people to ask for directions? And can 30,000 jumping up and down cause an earthquake? Pull up a chair as host Lee Mack, The Great British Bake Off's Noel Fielding, and comedians Jason Manford and Roisin Conaty put facts like these to the test.
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The Inbetweeners
Series 2, Episode 1 - The Field TripIt's a new term and the infamous sociology and geography field trip to Swanage is coming up; all the boys are on board.
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Two Doors Down
Series 1, Episode 1When Eric raids the freezer after coming in from a night out, he leaves the door open and all the food inside defrosts. Beth decides to cook everything at once and invite Cathy, Colin, Ian, Jaz, Christine and Sophie over to eat it all. Everything goes well until Cathy urges Colin to go next door and get something out of their freezer to replace the defrosted food, a whole Scottish salmon.
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Mock The Week
Series 16, Episode 6Dara O Briain and Hugh Dennis look back on another week's events with the help of guests Rhys James, Tom Allen, Ed Byrne, Nish Kumar and Tiff Stevenson.
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Da Ali G Show
Sacha Baron Cohen provides an inimitable mix of global reportage and celebrity chat via his characters Ali G, Borat and Bruno.
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The Inbetweeners
Series 2, Episode 2 - Work ExperienceIt's work experience week at school. Jay and Simon work at a plant hire, but a mix-up leaves Neil at a newspaper and Will at a garage.
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Bobby And Harriet Get Married
Episode 3 - I Don't Like Drums Or BassBobby learns that Best Man, Dylan, is to propose but will he return the honour? Meanwhile, Harriet is forced into a world of pain as she has to cut down the guest list.
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Blockbusters
Series 1, Episode 7Dara schools our sixth former contestants Frank, Zeenah and Arjuns as they take on this iconic trivia-based quiz for the chance to win some epic prizes.
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Fire Maidens From Outer Space
A repeat of this 1956 film.
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Blockbusters
Series 1, Episode 8Dara schools sixth former contestants Adam, Tia and Amy as they take on this iconic trivia-based quiz for the chance to win some epic prizes.