Television
TV schedule Wednesday 23rd May 2018
6:30am
(repeat)
No Smoking
A village chemist invents an anti-smoking tablet but the tobacco companies aren't happy.
6:35am
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 23 - More And MoreThe Twirlywoos learn more and more when they watch a shopkeeper build up a display of apples. Back in the boat, the Twirlywoo Screen creates a tree which gives more and more bananas every time the Twirlywoos touch it.
7am
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 4, Episode 28 - Duck!When Shaun and the flock discover that a pair of nesting ducks have stolen their bedding to make a comfy new home up on top of Bitzer's kennel, the battle is on to set things straight.
7:05am
(repeat)
Danger Mouse
Series 2, Episode 3 - Colonel Danger MouseWhen Colonel K disappears on a free holiday, Danger Mouse pulls rank and assumes the mantle of caretaker Colonel.
7:35am
(repeat)
The Piglet Files
Series 1, Episode 2 - Fair ExchangeSarah is mistakenly captured by a couple of bumbling Russian agents, and getting little support from drummond or Maxwell, Piglet goes about securing her return himself.
7:45am
(repeat)
Dennis & Gnasher Unleashed!
Series 1, Episode 28 - Were-WalterThere's a werewolf-type creature on the prowl and suspicion falls on Gnasher. Dennis has to prove his best pal's innocence as the full moon shines down on Beanotown...
8am
(repeat)
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 3, Episode 6 - Goodnight Children EverywhereAn evicted Ron is now staying with Gary and Yvonne. Phoebe's orphaned relatives have come back to live with her at The Royal Oak.
8am
(repeat)
Go Jetters
Series 2, Episode 5 - Go Jet Academy: Artificial ReefKyan, Lars and Foz pick up litter on the Academy beach after a storm, while Xuli dives down to check the coral reef. She spots something in the murky depths: a huge rusty submarine lies across the reef, and the moustache on the bow means it must belong to Grandmaster Glitch. What's worse, it's leaking oil!
8:35am
(repeat)
Justin's House
Series 2, Episode 22 - Just Tins Of PaintJustin hopes his attempt at home improvements will win Mister Maker's Makeover Challenge.
8:40am
(repeat)
The Green Green Grass
Series 1, Episode 6 - Sex And The CountryMarlene discovers the farmhands concocting a virility potion for Rocky the bull, and manages to sneak a dose into husband Boycie's coffee. Tyler arouses suspicions when make-up is found in his room, and his parents are relieved to be told he has a girlfriend - until it transpires she's also his teacher.
9am
(repeat)
Timmy Time
Series 3, Episode 11 - Timmy Makes It ShineAfter a muddy ride around the playground, Timmy is shown how to clean his tricycle - but it doesn't stay clean for long.
9:20am
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 22nd series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
9:30am
(repeat)
Minder
Series 1, Episode 3 - The Smaller They Are...When an old friend comes asking for help with tale of a large stash of stolen money, Arthur is only too happy to volunteer his and Terry's services. Unfortunately, the previous owners are keen to reclaim their cash.
9:30am
(repeat)
Horrible Histories
Series 2, Episode 9The Stuarts are confused by the newly discovered drink tea, a Viking funeral ends in a massive fight, a child evacuated in the Blitz thinks farm animals are monsters, and some cowboys sing about life in the Wild West.
9:35am
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 3, Episode 21 - More About SpinningThe Twirlywoos visit a school hall. They see a teacher pick up different coloured hoops and set them spinning, so they try to spin hoops themselves.
11am
(repeat)
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 31 - Happy EarthdayMax and Throckmorton throw Gark a surprise party to celebrate his first year on Earth. They show him a video adventure they have made, to show they're pleased he came.
11:15am
(repeat)
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 32 - Zaxos ReturnsA giant wart has appeared on Betty's nose. Max deduces this means Zaxos is back.They decide it's just a wart but then Zaxos appears and she seems to have changed.
11:20am
(repeat)
You Rang, M'Lord?
Series 1, Episode 5 - Beg, Borrow Or StealAlf is being blackmailed and is determined to get his hands on Lady Lavender's shares and Alf and Ivy's secret is revealed but to whom?
11:30am
(repeat)
There Was A Young Lady
Super-efficient secretary Elizabeth Foster circumvents the schemes of smash-and grab gangsters.
12pm
(repeat)
12:20pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 2, Episode 5 - Happy ReleaseFletch arrives in the prison hospital with a broken ankle to find that old man Blanco has lost his treasured possessions to soon-to-be-released Norris. Worried he's nearing death, Blanco offers Fletch his last item: a map...
12:35pm
(repeat)
Hacker Time
Series 5, Episode 7 - Ellie SimmondsFun, chat and music from Hacker T Dog, featuring sketches The Next Step but One and The Quarter Past 4 O'Clock Club. Hacker's special guest is gold medal-winning Paralympian Ellie Simmonds.
1pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 26, Episode 6 - Available For WeddingsClegg demonstrates his theories about the safety of studded tyres.
1pm
(repeat)
Are You Being Served?
Series 3, Episode 1 - The Hand Of FateMr. Humphries has a hidden talent as a palm-reader, but are his predictions going to come true? With the possibility of promotions all-round, it seems quite likely.
1pm60 min version (repeat)
1:05pm
(repeat)
The Dog Ate My Homework
Series 4, Episode 7Iain Stirling is joined by child team captains Luca and Amara and special guests Lauren Layfield, Matthew Crosby, Dan Wright and Marlon Davis, who battle it out in a series of rounds and challenges.
1:35pm
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 3, Episode 21 - More About SpinningThe Twirlywoos visit a school hall. They see a teacher pick up different coloured hoops and set them spinning, so they try to spin hoops themselves.
1:40pm
(repeat)
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 5, Episode 5 - Hey Diddle Diddle, Who's On The FiddlePeggy finds a personal letter from Joe Maplin to Clive Dempster which causes everyone to believe that the Squadron Leader has been sent to the camp as a 'mole'.
1:40pm
(repeat)
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 2, Episode 6 - Sausages Or LimelightSpike Dixon is in love. Unfortunately his prospective father-in-law insists that Spike gives up showbusiness and comes into his lucrative butchery empire.
2:20pm
(repeat)
Are You Being Served?
Series 3, Episode 6 - Wedding BellsAfter a signifcant stock disagreement with Peacock, Rumbold and Grainger, Mrs. Slocombe becomes the centre of attention when Young Mr. Grace implies he may take a wife. The notion rather seems to go to her head.
2:20pm
(repeat)
The Green Green Grass
Series 1, Episode 6 - Sex And The CountryMarlene discovers the farmhands concocting a virility potion for Rocky the bull, and manages to sneak a dose into husband Boycie's coffee. Tyler arouses suspicions when make-up is found in his room, and his parents are relieved to be told he has a girlfriend - until it transpires she's also his teacher.
2:55pm
(repeat)
Minder
Series 1, Episode 4 - A Tethered GoatArthur thinks he and Terry are due a bit of nice, easy money when he's approached about a 'babysitter' for a visiting Arab businessman. It soon transpires, however, that neither man is quite as he seems.
3pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 22nd series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
3:15pm
(repeat)
Oh, Mr Porter!
The inept railway worker William Porter has been made station master in a small village in Northern Ireland. Starring Will Hay.
3:30pm
(repeat)
Zig And Zag
Episode 22 - A Novel IdeaTired from shopping, Zag decides he needs to sit down, but the only seat available is reserved for authors to sign books - so Zag decides to write a book.
3:40pm
(repeat)
Class Dismissed
Series 3, Episode 3 - Extra-Curricular TeachingJuan Castanetta takes another unusual approach to teaching Spanish, Mr Capp tries to be cool and proves he is anything but, and Mrs Winstone has an unusual proposition for Jasmine.
3:45pm
(repeat)
On The Buses
Series 5, Episode 14 - A Thin TimeArthur is attracted to Beryl, the clippie on his regular bus. And Beryl has only two requirements in men - those with a fondness for athletics and those with a good head of hair!
4pm
(repeat)
Lovejoy
Series 4, Episode 6 - Judgment Of SolomonLovejoy and Gimbert are in pursuit of a priceless collection ofjudaica which has mysteriously appeared in an Essex cottage.
4pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 44 - Egg And BeanMr Bean gets in a flap when a monster turns up in his cake mix. The good news is that the monster turns out to be a harmless baby bird. The bad news is that it grows into a huge stork and takes over Mr Bean's home! He tries to return it to the wild and finds that teaching it to fly makes his arms ache!
4:15pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 43 - A Running BattleIt is the start of a Fun Run and Mr Bean lines up beside his deadly enemy - the fat bloke who stole his parking space. Fun Run or not, nothing will stop Mr Bean beating this man to the finishing post - even if he has to flag a cab!
4:20pm
(repeat)
On The Buses
Series 5, Episode 12 - The New TellyWhen the Christmas Club payout arrives, Stan and the family decide to buy a colour television. But they have a problem disposing of their old set - especially when Blake buys it!
4:40pm
(repeat)
Bitz & Bob
Series 1, Episode 12 - Periscope PerilPrincess Purl has lost her tiara and it turns out it's been taken by two naughty castle trolls who parade around showing it off high up in the castle.
4:55pm
(repeat)
Rising Damp
Pilot, Episode 1 - The New TenantA run-down boarding house in an unnamed northern English town is home to Miss Ruth Jones, an administrator at the local university; a medical student, Alan; the grubby, unfriendly landlord Rupert Rigsby, and his cat, Vienna. When a room in the house becomes vacant Miss Jones suggests that she knows a suitable candidate.
5pm
(repeat)
Lovejoy
Series 4, Episode 7 - The Galloping MajorWhen looking in Frankie's scrapyard for a replacement back indicator lamp for his pickup truck, Lovejoy is persuaded to buy a rusty old cannon, too.
5pm
(repeat)
Are You Being Served?
Series 3, Episode 1 - The Hand Of FateMr. Humphries has a hidden talent as a palm-reader, but are his predictions going to come true? With the possibility of promotions all-round, it seems quite likely.
5:10pm
(repeat)
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 26 - Big Ben, EnglandThe Go Jetters visit London on New Year's Eve, but Big Ben is missing. To the Vroomster!
5:20pm
(repeat)
George & Mildred
Series 4, Episode 2 - Days Of Beer And RosieA stranger arrives in town, asking after George. It soon becomes apparent that he was conceived during a chance 'encounter' on VE night...
5:40pm
(repeat)
You Rang, M'Lord?
Series 1, Episode 5 - Beg, Borrow Or StealAlf is being blackmailed and is determined to get his hands on Lady Lavender's shares and Alf and Ivy's secret is revealed but to whom?
5:55pm
(repeat)
Class Dismissed
Series 2, Episode 5 - Strictly Come TeachingMr Christopher is searching for talent in his quest to find Dockbridge High's next top teaching assistant, and Mr Capp falls foul of one of Hillary Head's new rules.
6pm
(repeat)
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 5, Episode 5 - Hey Diddle Diddle, Who's On The FiddlePeggy finds a personal letter from Joe Maplin to Clive Dempster which causes everyone to believe that the Squadron Leader has been sent to the camp as a 'mole'.
6pm
(repeat)
Taskmaster
Series 4, Episode 3 - Hollowing Out A BaguetteHow will Hugh Dennis, Joe Lycett, Lolly Adefope, Mel Giedroyc and Noel Fielding cope with this week's tasks? The onslaught continues as Greg Davies ruthlessly judges the competitors' ability to both camouflage themselves and herd dogs. Plus, see the first two trailers for Taskmaster: The Movie.
6:10pm15 min
Dennis & Gnasher Unleashed!
Series 1, Episode 29 - Dennis TVWalter launches his own mega-dull, hypnotic TV channel with an signal booster that swamps all other channels! Rubi helps Dennis set up his own TV channel with a more powerful booster to free the residents of Beanotown from Walter's TV trance. Who will win the battle for ratings?
6:40pm
(repeat)
Are You Being Served?
Series 3, Episode 6 - Wedding BellsAfter a signifcant stock disagreement with Peacock, Rumbold and Grainger, Mrs. Slocombe becomes the centre of attention when Young Mr. Grace implies he may take a wife. The notion rather seems to go to her head.
6:40pm
(repeat)
Dad's Army
Series 7, Episode 6 - Turkey DinnerDuring a drunken evening, Jones and his men accidentally shoot a turkey. Having failed to establish the bird's rightful owner, they decide the best thing to do is to offer the older residents of Walmington a turkey dinner.
6:50pm
(repeat)
Scream Street
Series 1, Episode 40 - Friendly Neighbourhood WerewolfEefa casts a spell to save Luke from being evicted from Scream Street but accidentally freezes him mid-change and he is stuck as a friendly werewolf.
7pm60 min version (repeat)
7pm
(repeat)
Horrible Histories
Series 2, Episode 9The Stuarts are confused by the newly discovered drink tea, a Viking funeral ends in a massive fight, a child evacuated in the Blitz thinks farm animals are monsters, and some cowboys sing about life in the Wild West.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 26, Episode 6 - Available For WeddingsClegg demonstrates his theories about the safety of studded tyres.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 2, Episode 6 - Sausages Or LimelightSpike Dixon is in love. Unfortunately his prospective father-in-law insists that Spike gives up showbusiness and comes into his lucrative butchery empire.
8pm
(repeat)
Dad's Army
Series 8, Episode 1 - Ring Dem BellsThe platoon are to take part in a training film, but are horrified to learn that they are to play the Germans. There's also the issue of trying not to be seen in Nazi uniforms for fear of causing a panic.
8pm30 min
Your Face Or Mine
Series 3, Episode 10This week it's game on for Sonny and Jacqueline to win thousands of pounds!
8pm60 min version (repeat)
8:30pm
(repeat)
Bad Robots
Series 2, Episode 4The Bad Robots are back with another brand new infuriating machine - the all new automated shopping survey machine S.A.L.Y. Whilst pub goers are left empty pocketed and empty hearts by Quizimodo, Tezcorp's pub quiz machine; the British Language test makes a return as foreign language students are asked to make sense of UK accents - 'piece of cake me old mukka?'
8:40pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 2, Episode 5 - Happy ReleaseFletch arrives in the prison hospital with a broken ankle to find that old man Blanco has lost his treasured possessions to soon-to-be-released Norris. Worried he's nearing death, Blanco offers Fletch his last item: a map...
9pm
(repeat)
Blackadder
A selection of episodes from the first series of the comic historic saga.
9pm
(repeat)
Micky Flanagan: Back In The Game
East End comic Micky Flanagan returns with his second, highly anticipated stand-up show, Back In The Game.
9pm60 min version (repeat)
Russell Howard's Good News
Series 5, Episode 1Russell Howard returns to BBC Three with another series of Good News.
9pm60 min
Taskmaster
Series 6, Episode 4 - BMXing!Tim Vine strips to his waist, Russell Howard gets tattooed, while Alice Levine apes Leonardo da Vinci using squirty cream. Greg Davies sets the truly absurd tasks.
9pm
(repeat)
A League Of Their Own
Series 9, Episode 3Leafing through his little black book of contacts, James Corden is joined by bruising British boxer Anthony Joshua, funnyman Jimmy Carr and Olympic snowboarder Jenny Jones.
9:10pm50 min version (repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 13, Episode 9Jimmy Carr asks 'what has the nation been talking about this week?'. This week he probably wishes he didn't have to...
9:20pm
(repeat)
Absolutely Fabulous
Series 1, Episode 5 - MagazinePatsy actually has to go into her office. At a rare meeting, she's told she has to give two members of the public a makeover and appear on morning television with them. After an argument with the chosen plebs, Saffron and Eddy's mother are drawn in.
10pm
(repeat)
Morgana Robinson's The Agency
Episode 3Natalie Cassidy is attempting to give something back to the community by setting up a fame school and teaching local kids everything she knows about show business.
10pm
(repeat)
Jimmy Carr: Laughing And Joking
TV version of Jimmy Carr's 2013 stand-up DVD release, Laughing And Joking.
10pm
(repeat)
Detectorists
Series 3, Episode 4Lance is obsessed with finding the thief that stole his gold, which means he can ignore the melodrama going on at home. Andy's lies are catching up with him too. They decide camping out is the safest option.
10pm60 min
Jon Richardson: Ultimate Worrier
Series 1, Episode 2 - The BodyJon is joined by Sara Pascoe and Joe Wilkinson to address worries to do with the body - is Jon's body the wrong shape? Are we going to live forever? Do our faces make a terrible first impression? They won't solve anything, but they will rank them according to severity in a nice tiered system which helps Jon's nerves.
10:40pm
(repeat)
Gavin & Stacey
Series 1, Episode 3After his initial angry reaction to Stacey's news, Uncle Bryn agrees to drive them all to Essex to meet the Shipmans.
11pm60 min version (repeat)
11:10pm
(repeat)
Porridge
A selection of episodes from the first series of the prison-based sitcom.
11:20pm
(repeat)
11:20pm
(repeat)
Gavin & Stacey
Series 1, Episode 4The Shipmans drive down to Wales for the wedding fayre, and after a momentous trip to the church for the reading of the banns, Nessa tells Stacey her big secret.
11:30pm
(repeat)
Your Face Or Mine
Series 1, Episode 7Jimmy Carr and Katherine Ryan are joined by Lewis and Harriette who will be forced to judge all kinds of faces for the chance to win thousands of pounds.
Midnight
(repeat)
Live At The Apollo
Jack Dee Live At The Apollo Series 1, Episode 1 - Joan RiversJack Dee presents performances by some of his favourite stand-up acts at the London theatre. First on the bill is legendary American comedienne Joan Rivers, with her typically acid-tongued musings on marrying for money and celebrity Botox parties.
Midnight
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 4, Episode 4With Sally Lindsay, Louis Walsh, Reginald D Hunter and Rhys Thomas.
Midnight
(repeat)
12:10am
(repeat)
Friday Night Dinner
Series 5, Episode 3 - The SurpriseIt's Mum's birthday and she's having a surprise party for 44 guests. Only snag is - she's secretly organised it herself!
12:15am50 min version (repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 12, Episode 9The regulars are joined by singer Olly Murs, former member of the Pussycat Dolls Kimberly Wyatt, and comedians Matthew Crosby and Russell Peters.
12:35am
(repeat)
High & Dry
Episode 3 - The CaseBrett and Arnab team up as 'Branab' to stalk Harriet and finally find out what she's hiding in her precious case. Meanwhile, Susan attempts to seduce Douglas, armed with an inhaler and her knowledge of the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer.
12:40am
(repeat)
Mock The Week
Series 15, Episode 5Dara O Briain and Hugh Dennis mock the events of the last seven days with guests James Acaster, Rob Beckett, Ed Byrne, John Robins and Holly Walsh.
1am
(repeat)
The Young Ones
Series 1, Episode 2 - OilHaving moved to a new house by the Balowskis, Mike discovers oil in the basement whilst disposing of a body. In order to exploit this potentially lucrative source of wealth, Mike appoints himself dictator.
1am
(repeat)
Stephen Merchant: Hello Ladies
A TV broadcast of Stephen Merchant's critically-acclaimed 2011 stand-up show.
1:20am
(repeat)
Counterfeit Cat
A selection of episodes from the first series.
1:20am
(repeat)
Mock The Week
Series 9, Episode 8Dara, Hugh and Andy joined by guests Ed Byrne, Micky Flanagan, Stewart Francis and newcomer Miles Jupp.
1:35am45 min version (repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Topical Channel 4 comedy panel show hosted by Jimmy Carr. The questions are based on survey results and statistics.
1:45am
(repeat)
The Young Ones
Series 1, Episode 3 - BoringThe housemates are bored, so head off to the pub. If only they really opened their eyes and looked around, they might find something interesting going on...
2am
(repeat)
Minder
Series 1, Episode 4 - A Tethered GoatArthur thinks he and Terry are due a bit of nice, easy money when he's approached about a 'babysitter' for a visiting Arab businessman. It soon transpires, however, that neither man is quite as he seems.
2am
(repeat)
2:25am
(repeat)
Morgana Robinson's The Agency
Episode 3Natalie Cassidy is attempting to give something back to the community by setting up a fame school and teaching local kids everything she knows about show business.
2:30am
(repeat)
Bad Robots
Series 2, Episode 4The Bad Robots are back with another brand new infuriating machine - the all new automated shopping survey machine S.A.L.Y. Whilst pub goers are left empty pocketed and empty hearts by Quizimodo, Tezcorp's pub quiz machine; the British Language test makes a return as foreign language students are asked to make sense of UK accents - 'piece of cake me old mukka?'
2:55am
(repeat)
Live At The Apollo
Jack Dee Live At The Apollo Series 1, Episode 1 - Joan RiversJack Dee presents performances by some of his favourite stand-up acts at the London theatre. First on the bill is legendary American comedienne Joan Rivers, with her typically acid-tongued musings on marrying for money and celebrity Botox parties.
3am
(repeat)
Comedy Central At The Comedy Store
Series 4, Episode 6 - Sara Pascoe At The Comedy StoreSara Pascoe is tonight's host at The Comedy Store - but is she a good person? She's joined by genitalia talking Phil Wang, Chris Martin (not that one), and Joel Dommett.
3:10am
(repeat)
Not Going Out
Out-takes - The Out-takesLee Mack, Sally Bretton and Katy Wix introduce a compilation of out-takes from across the various series.
3:25am
(repeat)
Comedy Central At The Comedy Store
Series 4, Episode 12 - Rob Beckett At The Comedy StoreThe big teethed Rob Beckett hosts; he doesn't like the admin of tequila. He's joined by the accidental racist Suzi Ruffell, tardy Elis James, and the boozy John Robins.
3:50am
(repeat)
The Chris Ramsey Show
Series 1, Episode 6Chris welcomes guests Nish Kumar and Carl Hutchinson who compete against each other in a game of WWE with a twist; Chris has invited professional wrestlers The London Riots to show Nish and Carl what a real wrestling move looks like. Plus, this week on the train, Chris tries to make dinner for his guest, Pussy Cat Doll Ashley Roberts.