Television
TV schedule Wednesday 16th May 2018
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 18 - On Top OfThe Twirlywoos are in a clothes boutique, where they watch a lady trying on different hats. She isn't satisfied with any of them, and goes off to try on a dress.
A Sharp Intake Of Breath
Series 4, Episode 2 - Match Of The DayAfter managing to secure a ticket to a major international football match at Wembley, Peter manages to lose - and reacquire - his ticket numerous times. Will he make it to see the big game?
A Sharp Intake Of Breath
Series 4, Episode 3 - The Train Now StandingHaving discovered that the train he and Sheila catch into London has been cancelled, Peter heads to the offices of British Rail to demand changes.
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 18 - The Northern Lights, FinlandUbercorn is excited to see the Northern Lights, but Glitch's Grunge-Grimbler covers them with smoke.
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 2, Episode 10 - Don't Fence Me InWill builders scupper Gary's double love life in the time travel sitcom? Having reconciled himself to living in two different eras with two different sweethearts, Gary finds his lifestyle threatened when builders start to demolish his only route to the past.
Justin's House
Series 1, Episode 5 - Bake That CakeIt is Bake A Cake Day in Justin Town and Justin decides to give Robert a treat for all his hard work. He needs the help of Little Monster and all his friends to make sure that Robert does not see the cake before it is ready.
The Green Green Grass
Series 1, Episode 1 - Keep On RunningDenzil calls about Boycie's house bringing news that the infamous Driscoll Brothers are being released early from prison and they're on the hunt for the supergrass who helped get them banged up. Boycie is horrified. By the time Marlene and Tyler return, he's sold the house, sold the car dealership and planned a new life in Shropshire.
Timmy Time
Series 3, Episode 6 - Baby Time TimmyTimmy has fun playing mummies with Mittens but soon discovers that being a baby has its downsides.
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 20th series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
Horrible Histories
Series 2, Episode 4Britain's greatest sailor, Admiral Nelson, turns out to be horribly seasick, two doctors from the Middle Ages argue over how to treat a patient, the programme discovers the many uses for an Incan llama, and the World War Two Girls sing about Girl Power on the Home Front.
Minder
Series 10, Episode 8 - On The AutofrontLong-running comedy drama about the London criminal underworld, focusing on dodgy entrepreneur Arthur Daley and his 'minder', Terry.
Twirlywoos
Series 3, Episode 16 - More About Fitting TogetherThe Twirlywoos watch a lady trying to make a picnic bench, fitting planks of wood together. Her dog comes to tell her it is time for a walk. Whilst she is away, the Twirlywoos start fitting together the planks of wood, but are they following the instructions for the picnic bench or making something completely different?
So Awkward
Series 3, Episode 10 - MegasaurusMrs Griggs launches a mentoring scheme and Maxwell picks Ollie. At first Ollie is flattered, but he soon becomes fed up with Maxwell beating him at chess.
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 19 - Kitty LatteMax realises something is wrong with Betty, and discovers she's frequenting a cat cafe, not realising it's run by Gark's nemesis, the Cat Toy God, who's trying to steal Betty from him.
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 20 - The Big OneFollowing an ominous message on his codex, Gark knows something bad is about to happen. His quest to dfind out what is is causes him to be estranged from Max.
You Rang, M'Lord?
Comedy set in an aristocratic London townhouse in the late 1920s, following the lives of both family and staff.
Millie Inbetween
Series 4, Episode 7 - Take My AdviceMillie is anonymously blogging advice to school parents. Mum writes in and eventually realises it is Millie. Fran is caught in the middle and Leo tries to teach Declan to be cool.
Millie Inbetween
Series 4, Episode 8 - Best Actress Goes To...There is family drama as Leo is cast as Juliet and Lauren as the Friar. The girls realise they need to help Leo find his inner Juliet. Mike's building a go-kart, but needs Fran's help.
Lovejoy
Series 3, Episode 5 - Benin BronzeLovejoy comes under suspicion when a priceless bronze goes missing.
Are You Being Served?
Series 2, Episode 1 - The ClockA dinner is scheduled to mark Mr. Grainger's 65th birthday. After 37 years with Grace Bros., will he be forced to accept the infamous cuckoo-clock of retirement as his gift?
Hacker Time
Series 4, Episode 4 - Ben ShiresHacker tries to keep another show on air. Also Wilf and Herman attempt to present in the Opinion Parlour. His guest is the Officially Amazing Ben Shires.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 31, Episode 2 - Happy CampingPearl throws Howard out of the house, but when he goes to Clegg's for sympathy it falls on deaf ears, while Pearl tells Nelly she's going to have to sort out Howard once and for all.
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 2, Episode 1 - If Wet - In The BallroomThe staff are at their wits' end. Rain has been tumbling down for days and they have practically exhausted their repertoire of indoor amusements.
Twirlywoos
Series 3, Episode 16 - More About Fitting TogetherThe Twirlywoos watch a lady trying to make a picnic bench, fitting planks of wood together. Her dog comes to tell her it is time for a walk. Whilst she is away, the Twirlywoos start fitting together the planks of wood, but are they following the instructions for the picnic bench or making something completely different?
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 4, Episode 7 - The Epidemic'Chads' are threatening to engulf the camp. In their efforts to hold them back, Barry puts his back out, so Yvonne calls an old partner in and Fred learns things about himself he never knew.
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 6 - Men Without WomenFletcher has been offering his advice to his fellow prisoners on the topic of romance. Letters written home result in a visiting room full of wives and sweethearts, but Fletcher's visitor is his eldest daughter. Should he be following his own advice?
Are You Being Served?
Series 3, Episode 1 - The Hand Of FateMr. Humphries has a hidden talent as a palm-reader, but are his predictions going to come true? With the possibility of promotions all-round, it seems quite likely.
The Green Green Grass
Series 1, Episode 1 - Keep On RunningDenzil calls about Boycie's house bringing news that the infamous Driscoll Brothers are being released early from prison and they're on the hunt for the supergrass who helped get them banged up. Boycie is horrified. By the time Marlene and Tyler return, he's sold the house, sold the car dealership and planned a new life in Shropshire.
The Million Pound Note
Comedy film about a penniless man who is given a million pound note and instructed to live on it for a month without spending any of it.
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 20th series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
The Best Of Benny Hill
Comic highlights from the early career of multi-talented comedian Benny Hill, featuring some of his best-loved characters.
Shaun The Sheep
Series 4, Episode 23 - Bitzer's SecretThe Farmer decides it's time to get fit - and calls on Bitzer to join him. Bitzer has other ideas and comes up with a secret plan to avoid putting in the hard work. Will his scheme catch up with him in the end?
Dennis & Gnasher Unleashed!
Series 1, Episode 7 - Pie SpyPieface steals Professor Von Screwtop's Pastry-based Intelligent Espionage unit (PIE) after forming a strong bond with the pie-shaped robot. Pieface is dismayed when Walter steals it from him to protect his dad from the embarrassing footage the PIE's memory chip holds.
Zig And Zag
Episode 17 - Zogly On SeaZig and Zag turn Zogly Manor into a mobile home and head to the coast for sun, sea and surfing shenanigans.
On The Buses
Series 5, Episode 6 - The Busmen's BallThe annual Busmen's Ball comes round once again and Arthur has decided that he and Olive will not be attending such a low-brow affair. Then he discovers what this year's cabaret is going to be...
Lovejoy
Series 3, Episode 9 - Smoke Your NoseThe Rev Harry Nettles bets Lovejoy there is a Roman mosaic in the field next to his church. Can they find out before the developers move in?
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 27 - Big TVWhen the television blows up during Mr Bean and Irma's squabble over what to watch, Mr Bean invents his own ingenious form of home entertainment.
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 28 - Keyboard CapersDetermined to finish Beethoven's symphony, Mr Bean wangles himself a grand piano, a music book, a candelabra - and a very patient piano teacher. Liberace, eat your heart out!
On The Buses
Series 5, Episode 7 - Canteen TroubleCanteen girl Suzy is very good to Stan and Jack when over-serving their meals, and under-charging! Naturally this upsets Blakey, who is determined to beat Jack and Stan at their own game...
Bitz & Bob
Series 1, Episode 8 - Bob's Balloon AdventureWhen Bob gets stuck in a runaway hot air balloon over Craft City, Bitz needs to give him clear instructions on how to land it - and she's running out of time!
You're Only Young Twice
Series 4, Episode 3 - The Missing RingFlora's engagement ring has gone missing, and after some head scratching she deduces it must be with Mildred's sewing machine. Unfortunately, she's decided to put it up for auction! The chase is on...
Are You Being Served?
Series 2, Episode 1 - The ClockA dinner is scheduled to mark Mr. Grainger's 65th birthday. After 37 years with Grace Bros., will he be forced to accept the infamous cuckoo-clock of retirement as his gift?
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 22 - The Wieliczka Salt Mine, PolandGrandmaster Glitch's digging causes a flood in the Wieliczka Salt Mine. Can the Go Jetters save the famous salt statues?
George & Mildred
Series 3, Episode 3 - I Believe In YesterdayMildred's mother pays a visit, bringing a letter from an old US serviceman friend. He's back in England and wants to meet up.
Waffle The Wonder Dog
Series 1, Episode 13 - Waffle's Doggy BuddiesAn old friend of Gramps, Mr Willow, brings along his two dogs to play with Waffle. Evie feels a bit left out until Waffle reassures her. The two new dogs escape into Mrs Hobbs's garden, so Waffle has to save the day.
You Rang, M'Lord?
Comedy set in an aristocratic London townhouse in the late 1920s, following the lives of both family and staff.
Class Dismissed
Series 2, Episode 4 - New HeadWith the sudden departure of Mr Barker, there's a vacancy for a new head teacher at Dockbridge High and Mr Potter has his eye on his dream job. Unfortunately someone else does too.
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 4, Episode 7 - The Epidemic'Chads' are threatening to engulf the camp. In their efforts to hold them back, Barry puts his back out, so Yvonne calls an old partner in and Fred learns things about himself he never knew.
Taskmaster
Series 3, Episode 3 - Little Polythene Grief CaveAs the series reaches its midway point, Greg Davies's onslaught of tasks don't get any easier. When Al Murray is confronted with an eggcup he goes to extreme lengths to maximise his point potential and Sara Pascoe takes a simple loaf of bread, a few balloons and swiftly becomes one of the greatest sporting minds of our time.
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 10 - Jeopardy MouseWhen the Baron rearranges the countries of the world Danger Mouse reluctantly joins forces with his American counterpart, Jeopardy Mouse, and takes New Zealand for a spin.
Are You Being Served?
Series 3, Episode 1 - The Hand Of FateMr. Humphries has a hidden talent as a palm-reader, but are his predictions going to come true? With the possibility of promotions all-round, it seems quite likely.
Dad's Army
Series 7, Episode 1 - Everybody's TruckingThe platoon is ordered to plant signposts in order to direct a large convoy, but things are made difficult when the road is blocked, and by Mainwaring continuously damaging Jones's newly furnished van.
Scream Street
Series 1, Episode 35 - Bone CruncherA surfing competition with a difference comes to Scream Street - an air surfing competition! But the race is run by a sinister pirate. The gang all enter, not realising they may have just signed their lives away.
Horrible Histories
Series 2, Episode 4Britain's greatest sailor, Admiral Nelson, turns out to be horribly seasick, two doctors from the Middle Ages argue over how to treat a patient, the programme discovers the many uses for an Incan llama, and the World War Two Girls sing about Girl Power on the Home Front.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 31, Episode 2 - Happy CampingPearl throws Howard out of the house, but when he goes to Clegg's for sympathy it falls on deaf ears, while Pearl tells Nelly she's going to have to sort out Howard once and for all.
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 2, Episode 1 - If Wet - In The BallroomThe staff are at their wits' end. Rain has been tumbling down for days and they have practically exhausted their repertoire of indoor amusements.
Dad's Army
Series 7, Episode 2 - A Man Of ActionJournalist Mr Cheeseman comes to make a report on the Home Guard. This is soon overshadowed when a landmine cuts off Walmington-on-Sea's gas, water and railway lines. Captain Mainwaring decides the best thing to do is to put the town under martial law - with himself in charge.
Your Face Or Mine
Series 3, Episode 9Gabby and Marcel from Love Island are forced to judge all kinds of faces for the chance to win thousands of pounds.
Bad Robots
Series 2, Episode 3Tezcorp is branching out into naughty computer software - we are all reliant on the internet these days so why not try Tezbrowze? Meanwhile Border Control B.O.T. is keeping the Isle and Wight Safe, and the latest Tezcorp release, Hear 2 Stay, is giving members of the public an earful.
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 6 - Men Without WomenFletcher has been offering his advice to his fellow prisoners on the topic of romance. Letters written home result in a visiting room full of wives and sweethearts, but Fletcher's visitor is his eldest daughter. Should he be following his own advice?
Blackadder
A selection of episodes from the first series of the comic historic saga.
Jason Manford Live: First World Problems
TV broadcast of Jason Manford's 2014 live stand-up DVD, First World Problems.
Russell Howard's Good News
Topical stand-up comedy and chat show hosted by Russell Howard.
Taskmaster
Series 6, Episode 3 - One Warm PrawnThe five comedians take a nostalgic trip to childhood as they are compelled to taste-test some mystery baby food, among other odd tasks. As usual, they are judged harshly by Taskmaster Greg Davies, who is aided by resident stats geek, Alex Horne. Plus, Russell Howard presents a nightmarish fairy tale and Liza Tarbuck introduces a plastic lizard to a cordless drill.
A League Of Their Own
Series 9, Episode 2James Corden and the gang are on good form as they're joined by Arsenal goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny, TV presenter Alex Brooker and Absolutely Fabulous favourite Jennifer Saunders.
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 12, Episode 9The regulars are joined by singer Olly Murs, former member of the Pussycat Dolls Kimberly Wyatt, and comedians Matthew Crosby and Russell Peters.
Citizen Khan
Series 4, Episode 6 - Alia's BoyfriendIn line with the great tradition of British Muslim baking, Mr Khan enters the Great Sparkhill Bake Off.
Morgana Robinson's The Agency
Episode 2Vincent receives news of a huge audition for EastEnders star Natalie Cassidy opposite a Hollywood A-lister. Also in this episode, we meet pop star Cheryl Cole, and Danny Dyer is up for an unlikely award.
Dara O Briain - Crowd Tickler
TV edit of Dara O Briain's 2015 stand-up show, Crowd Ticker.
Detectorists
Series 3, Episode 3With time running out, Andy and Lance go to great (action-packed) lengths to protect their land. Away from the fields, life is no less stressful as Andy quits his job and Lance finds an unwelcome guest in the spare room. An audacious theft leaves Lance reeling.
Jon Richardson: Ultimate Worrier
Series 1, Episode 1 - The HomeJon is joined by Josh Widdicombe and Suzi Ruffell to address worries around the home - are people sleeping badly? Is it possible to be bored? Are people loading their dishwashers incorrectly? They won't solve anything, but they will rank them according to severity in a nice tiered system which helps Jon's nerves.
Gavin & Stacey
Series 1, Episode 1After being phone buddies for months Gavin and Stacey finally arrange a rendezvous.
Birds Of A Feather
Series 4, Episode 13 - LoyaltySharon thinks sisterly bonds should overcome everything - especially husbands. Tracey doesn't agree.
dinnerladies
A selection of episodes from the second series of the Victoria Wood sitcom.
Gavin & Stacey
Series 1, Episode 2After a huge misunderstanding on the phone, Stacey thinks Gavin has finished with her.
Your Face Or Mine
Series 1, Episode 5Jimmy and Katherine are joined by The Only Way Is Essex power couple Tommy Mallet and Georgia Kousoulou for a special celebrity edition. In tonight's episode the Essex natives are put head to head against Geordie Shore's Chloe Ferry and fellow TOWIE cast member James Diags to win money for charity.
Play To The Whistle
Series 2, Episode 4The regulars are joined by England and Crystal Palace footballer Wilfried Zaha, comedian Funmbi Omotayo and Ninja Warrior UK co-host Rochelle Humes.
Live At The Apollo
Jack Dee Live At The Apollo Series 2, Episode 5 - Marcus Brigstocke and Rich HallJack Dee presents two guests this week, as Marcus Brigstocke muses on Britain's relationship with America, and Rich Hall demonstrates how Bill Gates defies gravity. Plus, Jack answers more text messages from the audience.
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 3, Episode 8With Joan Rivers, Vic Reeves, Eamonn Holmes and ITV presenter Holly Willoughby.
Friday Night Dinner
Series 5, Episode 2 - The Tin Of MeatWhen mum's best friend Val moves in after rowing with her husband, Dad can't take it anymore. Val keeps tidying up the house and chucking away all his old stuff. Tensions reach boiling point when Val finds a tin of meat with a best before 1996 date that Dad's been keeping in his shed.
Someone Else
Comedy drama starring Stephen Mangan as a photographer who who dumps his girlfriend for another girl, only to find the latter doesn't want him.
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 13 (Channel 4: Series 14), Episode 3In this show, captain Jon Richardson and Jason Manford take on guest captain Alan Carr and Katherine Ryan. Ivan Brackenbury joins Susie Dent in Dictionary Corner, while Rachel Riley takes care of the letters and numbers.
High & Dry
Episode 2 - The CampOn a mission to look for food and water, Harriet and Douglas discover a dinghy that is only big enough for two people.
Mock The Week
Series 10, Episode 11Dara O'Briain and the regulars relive the week's events for the last time in this run. With guests Milton Jones, Miles Jupp and Andi Osho.
Come Fly With Me
Episode 5Immigration officer Ian Foot pulls in Taaj for questioning as part of a random security check.
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 12, Episode 4Dr Christian Jessen, Lorraine Kelly, Sarah Millican and Tom Rosenthal join team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson to play the panel game.
Counterfeit Cat
A selection of episodes from the first series.
Mock The Week
Series 9, Episode 3Dara, Hugh, Russell and Andy dissect another week, this time with the help of guests Chris Addison, Ed Byrne and Micky Flanagan.
Morgana Robinson's The Agency
Episode 2Vincent receives news of a huge audition for EastEnders star Natalie Cassidy opposite a Hollywood A-lister. Also in this episode, we meet pop star Cheryl Cole, and Danny Dyer is up for an unlikely award.
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 51 - Nightmare On Cat MountainMax and Gark are trapped inside a cat tower that's actually a luxury hotel for demons
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 10, Episode 5With Carol Vorderman, Myleene Klass, Russell Kane and Rufus Hound.
Nurse
Episode 2Liz becomes troubled by the relationship between Graham and his mother as Graham's daily diet of doughnuts and junk food continues, not to mention the bickering. Agoraphobic ex-con Billy finds himself in a spot of trouble and Liz meets a new patient called Jack who is a troubled young former soldier.
Bad Robots
Series 2, Episode 3Tezcorp is branching out into naughty computer software - we are all reliant on the internet these days so why not try Tezbrowze? Meanwhile Border Control B.O.T. is keeping the Isle and Wight Safe, and the latest Tezcorp release, Hear 2 Stay, is giving members of the public an earful.
Live At The Apollo
Jack Dee Live At The Apollo Series 2, Episode 5 - Marcus Brigstocke and Rich HallJack Dee presents two guests this week, as Marcus Brigstocke muses on Britain's relationship with America, and Rich Hall demonstrates how Bill Gates defies gravity. Plus, Jack answers more text messages from the audience.
Comedy Central At The Comedy Store
Series 4, Episode 4 - Russell Kane At The Comedy StoreThis episode is hosted by Russell Kane and features Shappi Khorsandi, Phil Wang and Nish Kumar.
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 14, Episode 9Micky Flanagan, Melanie Giedroyc, Stephen Graham and Katherine Ryan join host Jimmy Carr along with team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson to review the talking points of 2012.
Legends Of British Comedy
Episode 5 - "Oh, Miss Jones!" - The Very Best Of Leonard RossiterAn affectionate tribute to comic actor Leonard Rossiter, whose masterly portrayals of miserly landlord Rigsby and disenchanted Reggie Perrin live long in the memory.
Comedy Central At The Comedy Store
Series 4, Episode 5 - James Acaster At The Comedy StoreTonight's host is the recently single James Acaster. He's joined by the anti-China Jarred Christmas, sexually confident Tiff Stevenson, and Scotland lover Jamali Maddix.
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 3, Episode 4 - It's A Sin To Tell A LieGary's best friend and printer Ron is having marriage problems and it seems that his latest batch of 40s currency won't pass the quality threshold. Or could there be another time-traveller on Gary's patch?
The Chris Ramsey Show
Series 1, Episode 2Joel Dommett and Rhys James join Chris to play UFC and try to avoid being paddle-whipped by a dominatrix, and Chris challenges them to put on as many layers of clothes as humanly possible. Plus, for this week's on a train challenge, Chris and football legend Chris Kamara form their own football teams to get a game going.