Television
TV schedule Wednesday 9th May 2018
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 13 - Bigger And BiggerThe Twirlywoos see children building a sandcastle at the beach, and decide to make it bigger. Back in the Boat they encounter a strange jelly which grows every time they touch it!
A Sharp Intake Of Breath
Series 2, Episode 4 - Another Little DrinkDouble trouble's on the horizon when Peter's workmates won't let him leave the pub without another few rounds down him first. Sheila's not happy, and after a struggle to extricate his car, neither is P.C. Reynolds!
A Sharp Intake Of Breath
Series 2, Episode 5 - The Square On The HypoteneuseCommiserating with a stranger in the pub leads to all manner of domestic disharmony for poor Peter Barnes when both his wife and girlfriend arrive!
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 11 - The Great Wall of ChinaGlitch and his grimbots have a long race on a very long wall - the Great Wall of China!
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 2, Episode 5 - Wish Me Luck...Yvonne is in line for promotion, and Gary suspects that he is only holding her back. Life in 1941 seems more and more appealing, and Gary feels it may be time for him to make a choice, even if that means faking his own suicide. But then banjo-wielding George Formby rears his head in the past.
Justin's House
Series 4, Episode 20 - Cat UnpacksCat is about to go on another big adventure, but she can't go anywhere because her Cat-pack is too full and too heavy to carry.
The Green Green Grass
Series 4, Episode 4 - Animal InstinctsTyler wants to borrow money to buy new equipment for his band, Puddle of Agony. But Boycie, who was brought up in the school of hard knocks, refuses to cough up. Meanwhile the local vicinity is gripped by fear of Animal Freedom protestors.
Timmy Time
Series 3, Episode 1 - Timmy Makes MusicTimmy cannot decide what instrument to play at band practice, so he hangs on to all of them and causes chaos.
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 19th series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
Horrible Histories
Series 5, Episode 9There is public confusion when King Charles II bans coffee shops, a seasick chicken ruins a Roman sea battle, mighty Egyptian Pharaoh, Ramesses II, meets some smelly peasants on Historical Wife Swap, and a cave-dwelling Stone Age couple try to buy their first house.
Minder
Series 10, Episode 4 - One Flew Over The Parents' NestArthur tries to rent his friends' house to a girl who is in trouble. Unfortunately, her trouble is with the police.
Twirlywoos
Series 3, Episode 11 - More About LongerThe Twirlywoos watch a fisherman make his rod longer and longer. The fisherman casts out the line and settles down for a nap.
So Awkward
Series 3, Episode 5 - Never The Bridesmaid, Never The BrideJas is asked to be a bridesmaid and is worried about being too clumsy to pull it off.
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 7 - Betty Laser EyesBetty's bad eyesight leads to her buying dog biscuits instead of cat treats. Gark tries to help but by giving Betty laser eye surgery he starts a war with a race of googly eyed aliens.
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 8 - Furst BornWhen Max uses a furball enhancer it goes wrong and he can't stop coughing up furballs. The balls become a furball baby called Phlegmy, forcing Max and Gark to act as its parents.
Millie Inbetween
Series 3, Episode 9 - Take The High RoadMillie goes green and insists the whole family make do without the internet for a week. Mike's not hard to persuade, so off goes the wifi! When Millie's favourite band release their new video exclusively online she's caught in her own green trap.
You Rang, M'Lord?
Series 4, Episode 2 - Requiem For A ParrotLord Meldrum decides to send Teddy overseas, Alf has plans for James and Lady Lavender insists on a military funeral for her dead parrot.
Fire Maidens From Outer Space
A repeat of this 1956 film.
Millie Inbetween
Series 3, Episode 10 - PlaydateMum and Mike plan a half-term caravan holiday, but the kids rebel. When the holiday is cancelled Millie arranges a 'playdate' for them over at Dad and Amber's.
Shine On Harvey Moon
Series 4, Episode 4 - Love Is BlindVeronica is caught sleeping rough at the hairdressing salon and announces that she is pregnant. Rita and Harvey spend a rare night together.
Lovejoy
Series 2, Episode 11 - Black Virgin Of VladimirLovejoy discovers that an unscrupulous antique dealer has swindled nearly two million pounds from an American widow and a rich Japanese businessman. He plans to retrieve their money with an elaborate 'sting'.
Are You Being Served?
Series 1, Episode 1 - Dear Sexy Knickers...Mr. Lucas decides to send a little love-note to Miss Brahms, but it goes awry: Mrs. Slocombe gets it instead...but she thinks that the sender's someone other than Lucas.
Hacker Time
Series 5, Episode 2 - Dr Maggie Aderin-PocockFun, chat and music from Hacker T Dog, featuring The Sky at Night and Stargazing presenter Dr Maggie Aderin-Pocock.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 30, Episode 7 - Will Randolph Make A Good Impression?Hobbo turns up at the river wall with Randolph, who he hopes will bring romance into Stella's life.
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 1, Episode 2 - The Beauty Queen AffairA camper tries to bribe the Entertainments Manager and steps are taken to stop the Camp Host from celebrating his birthday every two weeks.
Twirlywoos
Series 3, Episode 11 - More About LongerThe Twirlywoos watch a fisherman make his rod longer and longer. The fisherman casts out the line and settles down for a nap.
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 4, Episode 2 - Save Our HeritageIt's novelty night in the ballroom. Meanwhile, an old cottage complete with old tenant crosses Joe Maplin's plans for expansion. Jeffrey Fairbrother has an idea to retain the status quo.
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 2 - The HustlerGambling fever has hit Slade - subjects include the number of bricks in a cell, and the number of eggs laid by the hens on the prison farm. Fletch has organised a big game in a secret location, but will anyone actually win?
Are You Being Served?
Series 2, Episode 1 - The ClockA dinner is scheduled to mark Mr. Grainger's 65th birthday. After 37 years with Grace Bros., will he be forced to accept the infamous cuckoo-clock of retirement as his gift?
The Green Green Grass
Series 4, Episode 4 - Animal InstinctsTyler wants to borrow money to buy new equipment for his band, Puddle of Agony. But Boycie, who was brought up in the school of hard knocks, refuses to cough up. Meanwhile the local vicinity is gripped by fear of Animal Freedom protestors.
Value For Money
Comedy about money, romance, and one young Yorkshireman's discovery that the grass is not always greener.
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 19th series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
Dennis & Gnasher Unleashed!
Series 1, Episode 2 - Dare DennisA bungled attempt at a stunt leads Dennis to accidentally become an internet star and Beanotown celebrity. But his moment of fame is short-lived and he is soon replaced by Walter's cat who can play the piano. Dennis has to stage the best stunt yet to gain back his audience.
Zig And Zag
Episode 12 - All Washed UpMayhem ensues when Zig and Zag's washing machine breaks down. What should they do? Take it to the hospital for an emergency operation of course.
On The Buses
Series 4, Episode 3 - Dangerous LivingA newspaper report about the mortality rate of busmen leads everyone to insist Stan loses some weight. He's not pleased, but a date with a much younger clippie makes him think a bit of exercise couldn't hurt.
You Rang, M'Lord?
Series 4, Episode 6 - Well, There You Are Then...!With all the money gone, the Meldrum family and its servants look to the future. Can Lady Lavender and Cissy save them all from financial ruin?
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 21 - GoldfishWith his beloved teddy bear at the dry cleaners, Mr Bean finds a new playmate from the garden pond.
The Zoo
Series 2, Episode 5 - Otter MadnessThe zoo's animals love learning new tricks - Clara the seal can jump, Cheryl the cheetah can touch a ball with her nose and Duchess the elephant can hold her legs in the air.
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 22 - InventorWhen an inventor moves into the empty room in the attic, he and Bean try to out-invent each other.
On The Buses
Series 4, Episode 8 - The AnniversaryStan and his family are celebrating Olive and Arthur's 10th wedding anniversary. Aunt Maud has seen fit to send them a dog as a gift, but Arthur is none too amused.
Bitz & Bob
Series 1, Episode 3 - Ready, Set, CheckIt's race day in Craft City and Bob is determined to come first and win the trophy, until disaster strikes and his go-kart starts falling apart! Has Bitz got a solution?
You're Only Young Twice
Series 3, Episode 7 - The OutingThe annual Paradise Lodge visit to the seaside is meant to be a jolly affair but if any one can ruin it then Flora and Cissie can ...
Lovejoy
Series 2, Episode 11 - Black Virgin Of VladimirLovejoy discovers that an unscrupulous antique dealer has swindled nearly two million pounds from an American widow and a rich Japanese businessman. He plans to retrieve their money with an elaborate 'sting'.
Are You Being Served?
Series 1, Episode 1 - Dear Sexy Knickers...Mr. Lucas decides to send a little love-note to Miss Brahms, but it goes awry: Mrs. Slocombe gets it instead...but she thinks that the sender's someone other than Lucas.
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 18 - The Northern Lights, FinlandUbercorn is excited to see the Northern Lights, but Glitch's Grunge-Grimbler covers them with smoke.
George & Mildred
Series 2, Episode 5 - The Right Way To TravelMildred's desperate for a holiday, and has heard of a nice, cheap package tour to Majorca available. The only catch? It's for members of the Conservative Party...
You Rang, M'Lord?
Series 4, Episode 2 - Requiem For A ParrotLord Meldrum decides to send Teddy overseas, Alf has plans for James and Lady Lavender insists on a military funeral for her dead parrot.
Class Dismissed
Series 2, Episode 3 - Nits!There's an outbreak of nits at Dockbridge High and there's only one person who can help... Some call her the Exterminator, some call her the Nitbuster, others just call her the Nit Nurse. But can she save the school from a fate worse than nits?
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 4, Episode 2 - Save Our HeritageIt's novelty night in the ballroom. Meanwhile, an old cottage complete with old tenant crosses Joe Maplin's plans for expansion. Jeffrey Fairbrother has an idea to retain the status quo.
Shine On Harvey Moon
Series 4, Episode 4 - Love Is BlindVeronica is caught sleeping rough at the hairdressing salon and announces that she is pregnant. Rita and Harvey spend a rare night together.
Taskmaster
Series 2, Episode 3 - A Pistachio EclairIn one of the most difficult challenges of the competition, the rivals find themselves confronted with an intimidating man in gold chains: The Mayor of Chesham.
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 6 - Big Head AwakensDM must save his reputation and the world when Squawkencluck's artificially intelligent defence super computer goes despotically insane!
Are You Being Served?
Series 2, Episode 1 - The ClockA dinner is scheduled to mark Mr. Grainger's 65th birthday. After 37 years with Grace Bros., will he be forced to accept the infamous cuckoo-clock of retirement as his gift?
Dad's Army
Series 5, Episode 13 - Time On My HandsThe platoon jump to arms when a German pilot ejects from his plane and gets his parachute caught on the front of Walmington Town Hall, grapsing to the clock face for dear life. Their attempts to disentagle and capture him do not go to plan.
Scream Street
Series 1, Episode 29 - Cry WolfCarla Black starts swapping Scream Street residents for robot versions of themselves. Resus is the only one that knows the truth, but will the others believe him before it's too late?
Horrible Histories
Series 7, Highlights Special - Savage Songs SpecialRattus attempts to put together his own festival (the delightfully named Glastonsmelly).
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 30, Episode 7 - Will Randolph Make A Good Impression?Hobbo turns up at the river wall with Randolph, who he hopes will bring romance into Stella's life.
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 1, Episode 2 - The Beauty Queen AffairA camper tries to bribe the Entertainments Manager and steps are taken to stop the Camp Host from celebrating his birthday every two weeks.
Dad's Army
Series 6, Episode 2 - My British BuddyThe Americans have joined the war - finally - and some of them are coming to Walmington. It is decided to celebrate their arrival with a darts match in one of the local pubs. The plan does not go well.
Your Face Or Mine
Series 3, Episode 8Drag queen couple Ellis and Jake are forced to judge all kinds of faces for the chance to win thousands of pounds.
Bad Robots
Series 2, Episode 2This week sees foreign language students attempt to improve their English with the Tezcorp British Language Test, including learning Tezcorp's take on the national anthem, while pet owners are driven mad by Vet B.O.T, who has his customers begging, sitting and waiting for their animals. Meanwhile, a young gallery worker is left dumbfounded when the new Tezcorp chocolate fountain decides to serve up its chocolate all over a priceless work of art.
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 2 - The HustlerGambling fever has hit Slade - subjects include the number of bricks in a cell, and the number of eggs laid by the hens on the prison farm. Fletch has organised a big game in a secret location, but will anyone actually win?
Porridge
A selection of episodes from the third series of the prison-based sitcom.
Michael McIntyre: Happy And Glorious
TV edit of Michael McIntyre's 2015 DVD.
Russell Howard's Good News
Topical stand-up comedy and chat show hosted by Russell Howard.
Taskmaster
Series 6, Episode 2 - TarpetersUnder the watchful eye of Greg's loyal lapdog Alex Horne, Liza Tarbuck demonstrates her hatred of small toy men, Asim Chaudhry invents a new kind of rain hat and Alice Levine tries to work out the rules of darts.
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 12, Episode 4Dr Christian Jessen, Lorraine Kelly, Sarah Millican and Tom Rosenthal join team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson to play the panel game.
Citizen Khan
Series 4, Episode 5 - Mystic MoMrs Khan succumbs to stomach pains as a result of stress, and the family rush her to hospital.
Morgana Robinson's The Agency
Episode 1In this first episode we are introduced to Vincent as he deals with Miranda Hart's burning desire to be taken more seriously as an actor and Danny Dyer's diversification into children's literature. Meanwhile Natalie Cassidy is building up to the National Television Awards and Gregg Wallace is launching a new range of sauces.
Detectorists
Series 3, Episode 2Just as they're losing their farm, Lance and Andy start finding good stuff. But old enemies are sniffing around. Home lives are chaotic as usual and Lance is persuaded to try hypnotherapy for an awkward affliction. With mixed results.
Room 101
Series 2, Episode 6 - Clive Anderson, Alex Jones, Jack WhitehallTV and radio presenter Clive Anderson, One Show co-host Alex Jones and comedian Jack Whitehall nominate deer, British themed bars in foreign countries and metrosexuality to be cast into Room 101.
Come Fly With Me
Episode 6Peter and Judith have got mixed up in the dark arts of voodoo on their latest disastrous package holiday.
Live At The Apollo
Series 10, Episode 5 - Hal Cruttenden, Justin Moorhouse, Tom StadeHal Cruttenden is in charge this week, with guest performers Justin Moorhouse and Tom Stade.
Tonight At The London Palladium
Series 2, Episode 3Jimmy Carr hosts the show, with comedy from Rob Beckett. The world's fastest illusionist, Hans Klok, flies in to wow the Palladium audience - and to teach Jimmy a few tricks.
dinnerladies
A selection of episodes from the second series of the Victoria Wood sitcom.
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 12 (Channel 4: Series 13), Episode 2Jon Richardson and Chris Addison go up against Joe Wilkinson and Katherine Ryan, with David O'Doherty in Dictionary Corner.
Tonight At The London Palladium
Series 2, Episode 3Jimmy Carr hosts the show, with comedy from Rob Beckett. The world's fastest illusionist, Hans Klok, flies in to wow the Palladium audience - and to teach Jimmy a few tricks.
Birds Of A Feather
Series 4, Episode 8 - Hungry For LoveTracey decides she needs to lose weight after visiting Darryl, while Dorien struggles to attract the attentions of her new personal trainer.
Live At The Apollo
Jack Dee Live At The Apollo Series 2, Episode 1 - Lee MackJack Dee introduces The Sketch Show's Lee Mack, whose routine touches on driving tests and the trade secrets of Freddie Mercury and Stevie Wonder.
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 11, Episode 8This edition of the show sees Jimmy Carr, Sean Lock and Jon Richardson joined by Rhod Gilbert, Sarah Millican, Gregg Wallace and Kate Silverton to debate the hot topics of the week by examining surveys, opinion polls and statistics; from the silly to the serious, from celebrity gossip to world politics.
Friday Night Dinner
Series 5, Episode 1 - The Other JackieMum and dad get a hot tub, and Jim brings a date round for a disastrous dinner.
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 2, Episode 5 - Wish Me Luck...Yvonne is in line for promotion, and Gary suspects that he is only holding her back. Life in 1941 seems more and more appealing, and Gary feels it may be time for him to make a choice, even if that means faking his own suicide. But then banjo-wielding George Formby rears his head in the past.
Your Face Or Mine
Series 1, Episode 3In tonight's episode viewers will find out just how far loved-up couple Louis and Aida are willing to test their relationship for money. Especially when Aida's celebrity crush, Harvey from So Solid Crew, turns up.
High & Dry
Episode 1 - The IslandHaving crash landed in a tropical paradise, narcissistic flight attendant Brett Sullivan puts himself in charge of the palm-fringed island.
Mock The Week
Series 10, Highlights Special - Highlights & Out-takes SpecialDara O'Briain and the team present a special edition of the topical quiz featuring unseen material, show highlights and out-takes with guests including Micky Flanagan, Chris Addison and Milton Jones.
The Truth About Women
To a husband unable to understand his wife, an old gentleman recounts romantic passages in his life: his first love, a "fast" girl, an adventure in the East, a romance in Paris, a title-seeking American, an artist and a nurse. Finally, how he married his wife.
Grabbers
A repeat of this 2012 film.
Citizen Khan
Series 4, Episode 5 - Mystic MoMrs Khan succumbs to stomach pains as a result of stress, and the family rush her to hospital.
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 3, Episode 4With Sally Lindsay, Julian Clary, Radio 1 DJ Edith Bowman and stand-up comedian Dave Johns.
Russell Howard: Right Here, Right Now
TV broadcast of the 2011 stand-up show from acclaimed, energetic comic Russell Howard.
Shine On Harvey Moon
Series 4, Episode 4 - Love Is BlindVeronica is caught sleeping rough at the hairdressing salon and announces that she is pregnant. Rita and Harvey spend a rare night together.
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 10, Episode 2Team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford will be supported by this week's celebrity guests Sarah Millican, Jon Richardson, Louie Spence and Johnny Vaughan.
Counterfeit Cat
A selection of episodes from the first series.
Live At The Apollo
Jack Dee Live At The Apollo Series 2, Episode 1 - Lee MackJack Dee introduces The Sketch Show's Lee Mack, whose routine touches on driving tests and the trade secrets of Freddie Mercury and Stevie Wonder.
Morgana Robinson's The Agency
Episode 1In this first episode we are introduced to Vincent as he deals with Miranda Hart's burning desire to be taken more seriously as an actor and Danny Dyer's diversification into children's literature. Meanwhile Natalie Cassidy is building up to the National Television Awards and Gregg Wallace is launching a new range of sauces.
Bad Robots
Series 2, Episode 2This week sees foreign language students attempt to improve their English with the Tezcorp British Language Test, including learning Tezcorp's take on the national anthem, while pet owners are driven mad by Vet B.O.T, who has his customers begging, sitting and waiting for their animals. Meanwhile, a young gallery worker is left dumbfounded when the new Tezcorp chocolate fountain decides to serve up its chocolate all over a priceless work of art.
Come Fly With Me
Episode 6Peter and Judith have got mixed up in the dark arts of voodoo on their latest disastrous package holiday.
Comedy Central At The Comedy Store
Series 4, Episode 2 - Rob Beckett At The Comedy StoreRob Beckett is tonight's host at The Comedy Store; hear how he struggles with chip and pin. He's joined by Ivo Graham, Ellie Taylor, and the exquisitely dressed Tom Allen.
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 13, Episode 5Jimmy Carr once again oversees the disputes and deliberations on the topical events that set the nation's chins wagging as Jon Richardson and Sean Lock are joined by guests Nick Helm, Kate Humble, David O'Doherty and Claudia Winkleman.
Comedy Central At The Comedy Store
Series 4, Episode 3 - Katherine Ryan At The Comedy StoreThis episode is hosted by Katherine Ryan and stars Elliot Steel, Tom Allen and John Robins.
A Sharp Intake Of Breath
Series 2, Episode 5 - The Square On The HypoteneuseCommiserating with a stranger in the pub leads to all manner of domestic disharmony for poor Peter Barnes when both his wife and girlfriend arrive!
Seann Walsh World
Episode 10Comedian Seann Walsh delves into the depths of the internet. Tonight he deals with bizarre audition tapes, the dreaded snooze button, and the third Chuckle Brother!
Duck Quacks Don't Echo
Series 2, Episode 6Lee Mack is joined by Chris Tarrant, Robert Webb and Kimberley Wyatt.
Eric Idle: Comedy Greats
Documentary about Eric Idle.