Television
TV schedule Tuesday 31st October 2017
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 19 - BalancingThe Twirlywoos are at a gym hall where they watch a gymnast practicing a routine on a balance beam.
Scream Street
Series 1, Episode 45 - The PlagueTo avoid failing a test Cleo unleashes plagues over Scream Street, not realising how bad they would be - she is now desperate to stop them! Can she enlist the help of Luke and Resus before they ruin the entire town?
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 44 - Sir Danger De MouseThe Queen of Weevils returns and convinces DM he's a medieval knight in order to escape from a secure prison - can Penfold break the spell and prevent London becoming a medieval city?
Yes Minister
Series 3, Episode 3 - The Skeleton In The CupboardThe Minister is dismayed when he is instructed that he must discipline the most efficient borough council in the country for having failed to return a few statistical surveys to Whitehall. A visit to Scotland's past offers up the perfect opportunity to reach a compromise.
Diddy TV
Series 1, Episode 1 - MistyDiddy Dick and Dom launch their own television channel. The programmes include Diddy Doctor Who, The Belch and top-rated game show Bees or No Bees.
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 16 - Mount Etna, ItalyGrandmaster Glitch makes popcorn in Mount Etna, blocking the volcano and endangering the farms on its slopes.
One Foot In The Grave
Series 3, Episode 5 - Beware The Trickster On The RoofVictor and Margaret battle to rid their home of an evil curse. Victor's neighbours put their house up for sale - but there are very few takers. Victor becomes convinced that a TV aerial is laughing at him.
Justin's House
Series 1, Episode 2 - HousewarmingNow he is comfortable in his new house, Justin wants to have a housewarming party. In order to help, Robert the robot has turned the heating up to full, while Justin has forgotten to invite the guests and Little Monster is in a very cheeky mood. Will the party be ruined?
Ever Decreasing Circles
Series 1, Episode 2When Martin is ousted by Paul as Chairman of almost all of his committees, Ann is hopeful of a renewed social life. Unfortunately her optimism is somewhat misplaced...
Sooty
Series 2, Episode 16 - The Haunted HouseSooty bets Richard and Sweep that they can't spend the night in a haunted house. But in a bedroom full of creaking armour, hairy spiders and spooky paintings, will they be brave enough to stay?
Sorry!
Series 1, Episode 2 - ButtonsTim's stuck playing the rear end of a pantomime horse, whilst his friend, director Zac, asks him to entertain one of his girlfriends, Vanessa, for the evening.
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 9 - This Way, That WayThe Twirlywoos are chased this way and that way when they encounter a dog in a park. When the Tea Machine starts acting strangely Toodloo has to run back and forth across the Boat to keep up.
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the fourth and fifth series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
Millie Inbetween
Series 1, Episode 5 - Trick Or TreatIt's Halloween, and Amber brings her kids, Fran and Jake, over to Dad's to meet the girls. Things are more frosty than spooky, especially when Jake destroys Millie's special costume. Over at Mum's house, Mum thinks Craig's zombie make-up is a little too realistic, but he's a big hit with the local trick or treaters when he answers the door.
The Dog Ate My Homework
Series 4, Episode 12Two teams fight it out to dodge detention. Iain Stirling is joined by child team captains Suleman and Mina and special guests Hacker T Dog, Ellie Taylor, Marlon Davis and Gareth Richards, who battle it out in a series of hilarious rounds and challenges.
One Foot In The Grave
Series 3, Episode 5 - Beware The Trickster On The RoofVictor and Margaret battle to rid their home of an evil curse. Victor's neighbours put their house up for sale - but there are very few takers. Victor becomes convinced that a TV aerial is laughing at him.
Mother Riley Meets The Vampire
A repeat of this 1952 film.
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 3, Episode 1 - Early RetirementFor some, early retirement can be a blessing. For Richard this particular blessing comes very heavily disguised indeed.
Wussywat The Clumsy Cat
Episode 52 - TorchIt is autumn in the garden and Wussywat has found a torch.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 14, Episode 1 - By The Magnificent Thighs Of Ernie BurnistonCompo is coming to terms with being less agile than he used to be - until he sees old Ernie cycling past.
Class Dismissed
Series 1, Episode 2 - WednesdayTahj struggles in his french lesson and 8B are subjected to Mr Christopher's musical skills.
Ever Decreasing Circles
Series 1, Episode 2When Martin is ousted by Paul as Chairman of almost all of his committees, Ann is hopeful of a renewed social life. Unfortunately her optimism is somewhat misplaced...
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 9 - This Way, That WayThe Twirlywoos are chased this way and that way when they encounter a dog in a park. When the Tea Machine starts acting strangely Toodloo has to run back and forth across the Boat to keep up.
A Fine Romance
Gentle sitcom about the begrudging and at times difficult romance between two individuals; a translator and a gardener.
The Dog Ate My Homework
Series 4, Episode 10Iain Stirling is joined by child team captains Asante and George and special guests Chris Johnson, Dominique Moore, Tom Allen and Luke Kempner.
The Brittas Empire
Series 3, Episode 2 - That Creeping FeelingThe staff stop talking to Gordon after he devises detailed personal fitness programmes for all of them.
Birds Of A Feather
Series 1, Episode 5 - CheatTracey's frustrations get worse when her GP refuses her anti depressants. Dorien takes a shine to Tracey's accountant while Sharon starts selling dodgy Rolling Stones merchandise. When a fraud officer questions her, Sharon recognises her as a customer who did a runner at a Chinese restaurant.
The Good Life
Series 1, Episode 3 - The Weaker Sex?The stress of 'a 36 hour day' starts to take its toll on Barbara after she is left to restore an old range to its former glory. The Goods also celebrate the first signs of life in their vegetable patch and viciously defend it from the birds.
Shaun The Sheep
Series 1, Episode 20 - Things That Go BumpStrange noises are scaring the flock, Shaun goes to investigate...
Open All Hours
Series 1, Episode 2 - A Matress On WheelsArkwright's always been dead against getting a van, until Granville points out the advantages of taking a lady friend for a drive.
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 3 - A Night InGodber moves into the bottom bunk in Fletcher's cell. Unable to sleep, the two spend the night discussing their hopes, fears, and the lives they left outside.
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the fourth and fifth series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
Go Jetters
Series 2, Episode 16 - Gua Rusa, BorneoWhen Grandmaster Glitch discovers his Halloween pumpkin isn't as big as the Grimbots' one, he goes in search of some fertilizer to help it grow.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 1 - Home MovieBean attempts to make his own home movie - a horror thriller with Mrs Wicket as the star!
Horrible Histories
Series 4, Highlights Special - Scary SpecialHorrible Histories favourite Death of 'Stupid Death' fame presents his very own show full of spooky highlights.
Blackadder
Black Adder The Third, Episode 3 - Nob And NobilityThe Scarlet Pimpernel is at the height of his activities sneaking aristocrats out of revolutionary France, and Blackadder is not too pleased at the sudden overrunning of London with the objectionable garlic-munchers. He decides to prove the Pimpernel's actions as overrated by rescuing an aristo himself - or not...
Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?
Series 1, Episode 1 - Strangers On A TrainWhen Bob spends a weekend in London after leaving the Army, he is ill-prepared for the events of the homeward journey. Not only does he have an unexpected reunion on the train but he is also in danger of not getting home at all - and Thelma is not happy to see the stranger who awaits her at the train station.
Gigglebiz
Series 4, Episode 7Professor Muddles creates a machine to make himself young again, while sports reporter Keith Fitt attempts to break another world record.
A Fine Romance
Gentle sitcom about the begrudging and at times difficult romance between two individuals; a translator and a gardener.
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 3, Episode 1 - Early RetirementFor some, early retirement can be a blessing. For Richard this particular blessing comes very heavily disguised indeed.
Shaun The Sheep
Series 1, Episode 12 - Little Sheep Of HorrorsLittle lambs shouldn't watch scary movies, as Timmy finds out at his cost.
Scream Street
Series 1, Episode 47 - Grampy VampyWhen Resus' grandfather, Grampy Vampy, gets locked in Dr Skully's confiscation cupboard, Luella uses a portal spell to get him back. But he's not the only thing that comes through the portal.
Danger Mouse
Series 2, Episode 23 - The Scare Mouse ProjectColonel K spins a terrifying tale about the Headless Postman - an ancient and alarmingly scary apparition.
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 23 - Frankensquawk's MonsterWhen Professor Squawkencluck's mum comes to visit a gigantic enraged rubbish monster is not far behind.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 14, Episode 1 - By The Magnificent Thighs Of Ernie BurnistonCompo is coming to terms with being less agile than he used to be - until he sees old Ernie cycling past.
Open All Hours
Series 1, Episode 2 - A Matress On WheelsArkwright's always been dead against getting a van, until Granville points out the advantages of taking a lady friend for a drive.
Scream Street
Series 1, Episode 48 - Resus Goes ViralResus uses a virus to rid his friends of their monster abilities so he can win sports day for once, but the virus has terrible consequences! Can Resus save the town before there are no monsters left in Scream Street?
As Time Goes By
Series 5, Episode 7 - Showered With GiftsOn their first return to Hampshire since seeing off 'the gang', Jean and Lionel are slightly alarmed to be met by what appears to be half of the village. Alistair, meanwhile, has an idea for how to use the house when they're not staying.
The Good Life
Series 1, Episode 3 - The Weaker Sex?The stress of 'a 36 hour day' starts to take its toll on Barbara after she is left to restore an old range to its former glory. The Goods also celebrate the first signs of life in their vegetable patch and viciously defend it from the birds.
Boomers
Series 2, Episode 1 - CampingCelebrating Trevor's birthday and anniversary on a campsite, Joyce, Maureen and Carol strike up an interesting new friendship with a strapping young Nordic man.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 1 - Home MovieBean attempts to make his own home movie - a horror thriller with Mrs Wicket as the star!
Boomers
Series 2, Episode 2 - Matt & SebNew couple Matt and Seb are having a housewarming party. John's keeping a low profile as he thinks he's catnip to gay men and Trevor's got performance anxiety as his and Carol's period of sexual lent draws to a close.
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 16, Episode 9Jack Dee, Claudia Winkleman, Josh Widdicombe and Trevor Noah are the guests booked this week.
Benidorm
Series 8, Episode 7The Pride of Benidorm Awards are at the Solana and sleazy compère, Sammy Valentino, is causing trouble. Jodi's acting career gets a boost and Blow & Go are awaiting a mystery new stylist. Crystal brings the house down with a special performance.
Russell Howard's Good News
Series 6, Highlights Special - Big NewsRussell Howard turns his eye back to some of the biggest and best news stories covered in the past six series of Good News, plus some choice out-takes from the show.
Twin Thing
A comedy horror short for Halloween, from Andi Osho.
Live At The Apollo
Series 5, Episode 5 - Ed Byrne, Adam Hills and Gina YashereStand-up comedy from the Hammersmith Apollo. Irish gem Ed Byrne hosts in front of a 3,500-strong audience, with guest appearances from Adam Hills and London's own Gina Yashere.
It Should Have Been Me
Comedy about sinister goings on that affect a bride preparing for her big day.
The Vicar Of Dibley
1996 Specials, Easter Special - The Easter BunnyEaster is approaching, and whilst the village is struggling to make good on its Lenten fasts, old Mrs Cropley is taken ill. The prognosis is bleak, and she asks the Vicar one final favour before passing into the hereafter...
A Deal
Psychological comedy horror about the temptation of £4 million.
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 4 - A Day OutFletcher and Godber join MacKay and Barrowclough's work party, digging drainage ditches for the council. When MacKay calls into the village, the party take advantage of Barrowclough's easygoing nature, but get more than they bargained for after taking shelter from the elements in a church.
Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish
Series 5, Episode 1 - Like Top Gun All Over AgainIn the first episode, Dave explores whether a knock-off can ever be as good as the real thing. For Dave, this involves examining DVDs, baking and his favourite band, Bucks Fizz...
Absolutely Fabulous
Series 1, Episode 3 - FranceEdina and Patsy are off for a jaunt in France. Arriving at the wrong place, they struggle to find food until Saffron and Bubble arrive. After drinking liberally and actually enjoying a game of ping-pong, they are given an urgent message by Bubble.
Mrs. Brown's Boys
Series 3, Episode 3 - Mammy's BreakIt's Agnes Brown's anniversary and she's in a great mood. However, she would be in an even better mood if she could just find someone to look after Grandad for a couple of weeks while she treats herself to a holiday.
Blackadder
Black Adder The Third, Episode 4 - Sense And SenilityAs the British anarchist movement grows in number, the Prince becomes more wary of threats upon his life. He is also increasingly interested in the theatre, and seeks acting tuition from two leading thespians.
Prevenge
Post-feminist revenge movie directed by and starring Alice Lowe as a pregnant woman on a killing spree.
Stag
Episode 3The remaining members of the group pull together in an attempt to uncover the identity of their killer - and survive the stag weekend from hell.
Urban Myths: Adolf Hitler The Artist
Comedy drama about a young Adolf Hitler trying to get into an Arts Academy.
Taskmaster
Series 5, Episode 7 - Boing BoingIt's the semi-final and time is running out to claim the points needed to become the Taskmaster Series Champion. In this episode, Greg Davies and Alex Horne set the contestants a series of cruel conundrums: should Nish Kumar use the coconut harness? What should Sally Phillips do with a slice of bread when blindfolded? And who should they vote for in yet another referendum?
Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?
Series 1, Episode 2 - Home Is The HeroTerry's homecoming is greeted with a certain lack of enthusiasm and it's down to Bob to provide him with a bed. Thelma is suffering from shock and Bob attempts to ease her fears but letting your new home be used as temporary accommodation by your best mate is not going to help - if she finds out!
Birds Of A Feather
Series 1, Episode 5 - CheatTracey's frustrations get worse when her GP refuses her anti depressants. Dorien takes a shine to Tracey's accountant while Sharon starts selling dodgy Rolling Stones merchandise. When a fraud officer questions her, Sharon recognises her as a customer who did a runner at a Chinese restaurant.
Bad Education
Series 1, Episode 6 - PoliticsFraser's on professional suspension after an unfortunate incident involving a projector. With the school elections due to take place, Pickwell's determined that to show the governors that she can run something successfully, and Alfie's keen to show Miss Gulliver he can take politics seriously.
Russell Howard's Good News
Topical stand-up comedy and chat show hosted by Russell Howard.
Would I Lie To You?
Series 7, Episode 2Rob Brydon, Lee Mack and David Mitchell are joined by Charles Dance, Stephen Mangan, Isy Suttie and Gok Wan.
A League Of Their Own
Series 11, Episode 2James Corden, Freddie Flintoff and Jamie Redknapp are joined by John McEnroe, Jimmy Carr and Alesha Dixon in the sports-based quiz show.
Absolutely Fabulous
Series 1, Episode 3 - FranceEdina and Patsy are off for a jaunt in France. Arriving at the wrong place, they struggle to find food until Saffron and Bubble arrive. After drinking liberally and actually enjoying a game of ping-pong, they are given an urgent message by Bubble.
Mock The Week
Series 13, Episode 10Dara O Briain and the team scale another week's news mountain and plant their satirical flag at the top. With guests James Acaster, Ed Byrne, Sara Pascoe and Josh Widdicombe.
Inside No. 9
Series 2, Episode 3 - The Trial Of Elizabeth GadgeTwo of England's most notorious and feared witch-finders are summoned to the unassuming village of Little Happens in order to try an old woman.
Celebrity Juice
Series 18, Episode 7 - Halloween SpecialA spooky special of the outrageous comedy panel show. Joining host Keith Lemon and team captains Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cotton on the panels are pop star Frankie Bridge and her football legend husband Wayne Bridge, TOWIE superstar Joey Essex and TV personality Rylan.
Stand Up Central
Series 3, Episode 5Tonight Chris is joined by panel show-er Rose Matafeo and the perceptive Dane Baptiste.
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
Episode 6 - The Creeping Moss From The Shores Of ShuggothGarth Marenghi, Romford's Crown Prince of Darkness, introduces the last episode in his hospital-based horror series. Dr. Sanchez falls in love with a patient infected with cosmic broccoli, but when it threatens to spread Dr. Rick Dagless M.D. is forced to intervene. Trouble is, love is blind, and the only eye Sanchez has open is at the end of a trouser snake. Can Dagless save his buddy and the world? (Yes, he can.)
Would I Lie To You?
Series 7, Episode 2Rob Brydon, Lee Mack and David Mitchell are joined by Charles Dance, Stephen Mangan, Isy Suttie and Gok Wan.
The Russell Howard Hour
Series 1, Episode 6Russell talks with singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran. Rob Auton performs.
Stag
Episode 3The remaining members of the group pull together in an attempt to uncover the identity of their killer - and survive the stag weekend from hell.
Live At The Apollo
Series 5, Episode 5 - Ed Byrne, Adam Hills and Gina YashereStand-up comedy from the Hammersmith Apollo. Irish gem Ed Byrne hosts in front of a 3,500-strong audience, with guest appearances from Adam Hills and London's own Gina Yashere.
Harry Hill's TV Burp
Award-winning comedian Harry Hill takes a surreal look at television clips from the previous seven days.
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 11, Episode 3Guests Gok Wan, Sarah Millican, Seann Walsh and Amy Childs from The Only Way Is Essex, assist Jon, Jimmy and Sean to thrash out the hot topics of the week.
The Estate Agents
Episode 3 - HomelessHomeless Devlin has slept the night at the office. A mysterious crate turns out to be a six-legged mountain cat for pop idol Michael Jackson. With adult humour some might find offensive.
The Alternative Comedy Experience
Series 2, Episode 6 - KevinMaeve Higgins, Josie Long, Bridget Christie, Helen Keen, and Helen Arney conspire in the first ever all-female stand up show on TV, ruined only by backstage interviews with man Stewart Lee.
The Estate Agents
Episode 4 - Night OutAfter a successful sale, the guys go on a night out. Jerry wakes up with a 'boiler' and England wakes up with a man called Steve. With adult humour some might find offensive.