Television
TV schedule Saturday 13th May 2017
6am
(repeat)
In Loving Memory
Series 3, Episode 7 - The Last PostIvy attends a service at the Primitive Methodist Chapel. How could she know she'd end up spending the night alone with a man, be condemned by her friends and neighbours - and have to leave the area?
6am
(repeat)
Bottom Knocker Street
Episode 12 - Brain DrainCouncillor Cowdrey is attracted by a reward offered for stopping the national brain drain.
6:10am
(repeat)
Bottom Knocker Street
Episode 23 - Beware The TachetariansIt all gets a bit hairy when moustache-shaped aliens start attaching themselves to the townsfolk.
6:25am
(repeat)
Sooty
Series 2, Episode 20 - Record BreakersSooty, Sweep and Soo are desperate to break a world record for judge Boris McSquirter, will Sooty's giant brick tower win the day, or will Sweep become the tallest dog in the world? Guest starring Richard Arnold.
7am
(repeat)
The Piglet Files
Series 1, Episode 5 - The Beagle Has LandedDexter and Lewis attempt to infiltrate a militant animal-rights group. Unsurprisingly, they have little success. Piglet, however, could be just the man for the job.
7:15am
(repeat)
Scream Street
Series 1, Episode 13 - Mother Of All ScaresLuke goes home to find that Otto has moved in after fleeing Sneer Hall to escape a visiting relative with a bit of a temper. Then when Luke brings her round to visit Otto so that the two can reconcile, things don't quite go to plan.
7:25am
(repeat)
The Two Ronnies
Series 2, Episode 1Hugely popular and long-running sketch show that established Ronnie Corbett and Ronnie Barker as two of the biggest names in British comedy.
7:45am
(repeat)
Boj
Episode 43 - Happy HarvestersBoj's buddies are off to Mr Cloppity's allotment to harvest their vegetables. When they discover a cheeky slug has eaten them, Boj finds something else for his buddies to harvest!
7:45am
(repeat)
8am
(repeat)
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 6 - Sydney Opera House, AustraliaGlitch turns the Opera House into an opera boat to enter a race around Sydney Harbour.
8:05am
(repeat)
Dennis The Menace & Gnasher
CBBC series based on the popular Beano comic character Dennis and his dog, Gnasher.
8:10am
(repeat)
The Two Ronnies
Series 2, Episode 2Hugely popular and long-running sketch show that established Ronnie Corbett and Ronnie Barker as two of the biggest names in British comedy.
8:15am
(repeat)
Dennis The Menace & Gnasher
CBBC series based on the popular Beano comic character Dennis and his dog, Gnasher.
9am
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
Series 5, Episode 1 - From Prussia With LoveRodney takes pity on a heavily-pregnant and homeless au-pair girl he meets in the Nag's Head. When he invites her to stay at the flat, Del sees a nice little earner about to be born. But will Boycie be interested?
9am
(repeat)
Dara O Briain's Go 8 Bit
Series 1, Episode 3Comedians Bob Mortimer and Holly Walsh join host Dara O Briain, games expert Ellie Gibson and team captains Steve McNeil and Sam Pamphilon to play five video games in a bid to become this week's Go 8 Bit Champions.
9:25am
(repeat)
Mr Bean
A selection of episodes from the first series of the animated version of Rowan Atkinson's comic creation.
9:35am
(repeat)
Appointment With Venus
Major Valentine Moreland is tasked with rescuing a prized pedigree cow from the German-occupied Channel Island of Armorel.
9:40am
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
Series 5, Episode 2 - The Miracle Of PeckhamIn an effort to bolster the Church Roof Fund, Del "discovers" a miracle of his own and informs the world press.
10:20am
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 21, Episode 7 - From Here To PaternityClegg and Truly learn that Compo has a son who is about to pay his father a visit.
11am
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 21, Episode 8 - Some Vans Can Make You DeafCompo's son Tom sparks off chaos when he tries to find a spare exhaust pipe for his van.
11am
(repeat)
Millie Inbetween
Series 1, Episode 2 - Double DateMillie and Lauren try to coax their reluctant dad back onto the dating scene, with consequences they could never have predicted.
11:40am
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
A selection of ten episodes of Britain's most popular sitcom.
11:55am
(repeat)
Wussywat The Clumsy Cat
Episode 11 - CakeIt's Ortus's birthday and Wussywat finds his picnic surprise.
12pm
(repeat)
Shillingbury Tales
Episode 1 - The Shillingbury BlowersThe arrival of a pop musician and his wife in an English village upsets the status quo, particularly when he becomes involved in a brass band contest, which the local team is hotly contesting. The trouble with the good blowers of Shillingbury is that they are not very good. In fact, they are awful. The regular conductor, old Saltie, is ousted, and the pop musician delegated to take his place...
12:05pm
(repeat)
Carry On At Your Convenience
Sid James plays Sid Plummer, a works foreman struggling to bridge the gap between an unreasonable, strike-happy shop steward and a naive manager's son.
12:30pm
(repeat)
My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.
12:55pm
(repeat)
My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.
1pm
(repeat)
Is Your Honeymoon Really Necessary?
A repeat of this 1953 film.
1:10pm
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 11 - OverThe Twirlywoos see a man stepping over puddles and try to copy him. Back in the Boat, Peekaboo has to jump over a wall to avoid being discovered by the Twirlywoos.
1:10pm
(repeat)
4 O'Clock Club
Series 6, Episode 10 - FlashmobNero's excited to dance with Polly at a flashmob - until he learns she has two left feet. He needs to find another partner fast. But can he really dance with Katie?!
1:40pm
(repeat)
4 O'Clock Club
Series 6, Episode 11 - PaperboyNero and Dexter do Owen's paper round but mess up the most important delivery. Amber foolishly decides she needs to have a ride on Isaac's fancy new floor polisher.
2:50pm
(repeat)
Horrible Histories
Series 1, Episode 12A Victorian teacher is confused by her pupils' bizarre names, the Romans run out of animals to execute, and Queen Victoria advertises her exercise DVD.
3:50pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
A selection of episodes from the first series of the animated version of Rowan Atkinson's comic creation.
4pm
(repeat)
Dry Rot
A bookie and his assistants attempt to recoup their losses by rigging a horse race.
4:40pm
(repeat)
Spot Bots
Episode 11 - Ziptastic TowerCubi and Lexi try to build a perfect tower of bricks, but they can't resist fiddling.
5pm
(repeat)
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet
Comedy drama about a group of builders who flee overseas in search of work.
5pm
(repeat)
Open All Hours
A selection of episodes from the second series of the cornershop sitcom.
5:05pm
(repeat)
Gigglebiz
Series 3, Episode 21Wildlife park tour guide Sue Keeper gets all her facts wrong about pigs, ever-helpful Humphrey causes trouble for his neighbour as he tries to eat his packed lunch in the park and tap dancer Dan Step gets into all sorts of shoe-related difficulties on the dance floor.
6pm
(repeat)
6:25pm
Pointless
A special comedy edition of the general knowledge quiz. Featuring Andi Osho and Holly Walsh, Kevin Eldon and Dave Jones, Barry Cryer and Omid Djalili, and Stephen Frost and Helen Atkinson-Wood.
6:35pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean's Holiday
The disaster-prone Englishman wins a holiday to Cannes, but on his travels he unwittingly separates a young boy from his film director father.
7pm
(repeat)
Red Dwarf
A selection of episodes from Series XI.
8pm
(repeat)
Innocents In Paris
Comic tale following a disparate group of British travellers in Paris over the course of a single weekend.
8pm
(repeat)
John Bishop In Conversation With...
Series 2, Episode 9 - Meera SyalMulti-talented actress, screenwriter and author Meera Syal CBE sits down with John Bishop. Meera talks about the many influences behind her incredibly successful film, TV and writing career. She speaks candidly about her determination to create roles away from the stereotypes that were available to her and discusses working with her husband, actor Sanjeev Bhaskar.
8pm
(repeat)
Duck Quacks Don't Echo
Series 3, Episode 1The fact-busting comedy panel series hosted by Lee Mack returns as Jerry Springer, Emma Bunton and Jason Byrne put further fascinating titbits to the test.
8pm
(repeat)
Dad's Army
Series 3, Episode 8 - The Day The Balloon Went UpThe platoon discover a runaway barrage balloon and decide to release it safely themselves. This proves not to be wise, when the balloon flies away with Captain Mainwaring still hanging onto it.
8pm
(repeat)
4 O'Clock Club
Series 6, Episode 11 - PaperboyNero and Dexter do Owen's paper round but mess up the most important delivery. Amber foolishly decides she needs to have a ride on Isaac's fancy new floor polisher.
8:05pm
(repeat)
My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.
8:30pm
(repeat)
My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.
9pm
(repeat)
The Royle Family
A selection of episodes from the first series of the sitcom by and starring Caroline Aherne.
9pm
(repeat)
A League Of Their Own
Series 9, Episode 2James Corden and the gang are on good form as they're joined by Arsenal goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny, TV presenter Alex Brooker and Absolutely Fabulous favourite Jennifer Saunders.
9pm60 min version (repeat)
Live At The Apollo
Series 11, Episode 5 - Katherine Ryan, Henning Wehn, James AcasterCanadian comedy star Katherine Ryan is the host, introducing German comic Henning Wehn and the brilliantly funny James Acaster.
9pm
(repeat)
Micky Flanagan Thinking Aloud
Episode 4 - Midlife CrisisMicky explores the curious phenomenon of the midlife crisis, finding he displays nearly all of the top-40 signs you're going through one.
9:20pm30 min
The Keith & Paddy Picture Show
Series 1, Episode 2 - GhostbustersKeith and Paddy's version of Ghostbusters, featuring Robbie Williams, Sarah Parish, Emily Atack, Emma Willis, Will Mellor, Vicki Michelle and Chris Kamara.
10pm
(repeat)
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet
Comedy drama about a group of builders who flee overseas in search of work.
10pm
(repeat)
A League Of Their Own
Series 9, Episode 3Leafing through his little black book of contacts, James Corden is joined by bruising British boxer Anthony Joshua, funnyman Jimmy Carr and Olympic snowboarder Jenny Jones.
10pm
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 12 (Channel 4: Series 13), Episode 1It's Jon Richardson and James Acaster versus Lee Mack and Sarah Millican, with John Cooper Clarke in Dictionary Corner.
10pm
(repeat)
Jimmy Carr Telling Jokes
TV broadcast of Jimmy Carr's fifth stand-up DVD, full of his controversal one-liners.
10:20pm
(repeat)
Celebrity Juice
Series 17, Episode 8Joining the teams tonight are Holly's This Morning co-host Phillip Schofield; reality TV couple Georgia Kousoulou and Tommy Mallet; Geordie comedian Chris Ramsey; and sports presenter Ore Oduba.
10:25pm30 min
Sam Delaney's News Thing
Episode 19 - Avocado SpecialSam looks at the phenomenon of 'avocado hand' with the help of Antony Worrall Thompson and Wayne 'Piegate' Shaw. We also talk about the election or something. With Andrew Pierce, Fern Brady and Marek Larwood.
11pm
(repeat)
Black Books
Series 2, Episode 1 - The EntertainerFran has a new hobby and Bernard has a date. Manny holds the key to success with both.
11:10pm
(repeat)
The Two Ronnies Sketchbook
Episode 2The comedy duo reunite to share backstage stories from some of their classic moments.
11:10pm
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 2 (Channel 4: Series 3), Episode 4Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by Dara O Briain and Sharon Horgan. Countdown regular Susie Dent is in with help from Adam Buxton.
11:20pm
(repeat)
Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish
Series 3, Episode 2 - The Veneer Of CivilisationModern life has a lot to answer for as Mr Gorman gives it a grilling. Dave laments the death of the queue and considers ATM etiquette.
11:30pm
(repeat)
Bad Robots
Series 1, Episode 1In this first episode, student Barney ties himself in knots when posting a fragile wedding present using the TezCorp Frank and Send machine, and a photo booth believes its users would prefer to have their passport photo printed on a shower curtain or a duvet cover.
11:35pm
(repeat)
Black Books
Series 2, Episode 2 - FeverFran is too hot for comfort, Bernard wants a summer fling and Manny tries to cool down for fear of onsetting his 'illness'.
Midnight
(repeat)
Lee Evans: Wired And Wonderful - Live At Wembley
TV broadcast of Lee Evans live at Wembley in 2002, unleashing his latest material to a giddy crowd.
Midnight
(repeat)
A League Of Their Own
Series 11, Episode 1James Corden, Freddie Flintoff and Jamie Redknapp are joined by guests Anthony Joshua, Rob Beckett and Roisin Conaty as the sports-based quiz show returns.
12:05am
(repeat)
Dylan Moran: What It Is
Stand-up show starring Black Books star Dylan Moran. Recorded in Australia.
12:15am
(repeat)
Father Ted
Series 2, Episode 5 - A Song For EuropeTed and Dougal plan to enter Eurosong 1996, borrowing the music from a 1970s entry's long-forgotten B-side.
12:20am60 min version (repeat)
QI
Series H, Episode 15 - Hypnotism, Hallucinations And HysteriaWith Robert Webb, Ronni Ancona and Phill Jupitus.
12:45am
(repeat)
Father Ted
Series 1, Episode 4 - Competition TimeTed's excited. He thinks he's got a good chance of winning the all-priests lookalike show this year. Sadly, neither Jack nor Dougal are particularly inventive souls...
1am
(repeat)
A League Of Their Own
Series 11, Highlights Special - Best BitsJames Corden reflects on the funniest moments, the wackiest challenges and the best gags of Series 11 in a special highlights episode of the hit comedy and entertainment show.
1:20am
(repeat)
Red Dwarf
A selection of episodes from Series XI.
1:45am
(repeat)
Stand Up Central
Series 2, Episode 2Russell Howard talks erotic buckaroo, landline phones, and weird sex; plus answers questions on literature and older women. His guests are Joe Lycett and Rhys James.
1:50am
(repeat)
Human Remains
Black comedy series in which Rob Brydon and Julia Davis play various characters.
2:20am
(repeat)
Tommy Cooper
Episode 6Tommy Cooper presents his own show, with sketches and special guests. Featuring Patrick Cargill and Trisha Noble.
2:30am
(repeat)
The Armando Iannucci Shows
Armando Iannucci welcomes you to his world in this TV series.
2:30am
(repeat)
John Bishop Live: Rollercoaster Tour
A TV broadcast of stand-up comedian John Bishop's Rollercoaster stage show.
2:55am
(repeat)
Monty Python: The Meaning Of Live
Documentary focusing on the live shows by Monty Python, featuring rare backstage footage and new interviews.
3:10am50 min version (repeat)
QI
Series H, Episode 8 - HypotheticalWith Sandi Toksvig, Johnny Vegas, and the creator of QI John Lloyd.
3:20am
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 18, Episode 7The boys are back to jest over another week's polls, with Jamie Cullum, Kirsty Young, Joe Wilkinson and Katherine Ryan.
4am
(repeat)
PhoneShop
Series 2, Episode 1 - Lance Got GameLean times have hit the high street, and everyone is feeling the pinch. As Ashley and Jerwayne attempt to make some extra money on the side, Shelley goes on the warpath, and Janine finds herself socialising with the cream of Croydon society.
4:30am
(repeat)
PhoneShop
Series 2, Episode 2 - It's Training MenAs Ashley and Jerwayne come to terms with the fact that they are getting older, Lance fumes that a training day has been dumped on him at the last minute, and Janine drags Christopher into the hunt for her stalker.