Television
TV schedule Wednesday 5th April 2017
6am
(repeat)
Gert And Daisy Clean Up
Comic wartime propaganda film, featuring Gert & Daisy railing against black marketeers and collecting for salvage.
6am
(repeat)
You're Only Young Twice
Series 3, Episode 6 - Cissie's Last ChanceFlora is astounded when she discovers Cissie is due to be married. Cissie, however, is less than keen - the race is on to find Mr. Maddox an alternative match before the wedding date!
7am
(repeat)
The Green Green Grass
Series 1, Episode 3 - The Country WifeBoycie's 'bargain' purchase - Rocky the bull - arrives and much to Marlene's annoyance begins to make the place look untidy. Marlene sends Boycie out Blackberry picking - and while he's out he makes a new enemy.
7:05am
(repeat)
Mapp & Lucia
TV series based on the 1930s books by EF Benson. Prunella Scales and Geraldine McEwan star.
7:25am
(repeat)
Dennis The Menace & Gnasher
CBBC series based on the popular Beano comic character Dennis and his dog, Gnasher.
7:30am
(repeat)
Butterflies
Sitcom following dissatisfied housewife Ria Parkinson as she considers embarking on an exciting romantic affair with successful businessman Leonard.
8am
(repeat)
Sorry!
Series 4, Episode 4 - Confessions of a Jobbing GardenerSuspicion and jealousy stalk suburbia.
8am
(repeat)
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 41 - Hong Kong, ChinaThe team spring into action when Glitch's mini-master toys invade Hong Kong Harbour.
8:25am
(repeat)
Justin's House
Series 4, Episode 17 - Justin's Lost VoiceJustin is in a singing mood and has been singing so loudly all day that he has lost his voice. Ever the caring friend, Robert tries various funny ways to help.
8:30am
(repeat)
Horrible Histories
Series 4, Episode 3Queen Elizabeth I goes online dating, Greek philosopher Socrates foils his own rescue from prison and Emicho of the Rhineland goes crusading with some very unusual sat navs to lead the way.
8:40am
(repeat)
As Time Goes By
Series 4, Episode 3 - Getting Rid Of GwenJean comes up with a complicated plan to get rid of Mrs. Flack once and for all, whilst Alistair struggles to comprehend doing the precise opposite with Judith.
8:55am
(repeat)
Mr Bean
A selection of four episodes from the animated version of Rowan Atkinson's creation.
9am
(repeat)
Timmy Time
Spin-off from Shaun The Sheep for the CBeebies channel, featuring Timmy the baby lamb and his friends.
9am
(repeat)
Horrible Histories
Series 2, Highlights Special - Savage SongsA compilation of the songs from the series, featuring Spartan High School Musical, the Viking Rock Band, punky Queen Boudica, Incan emperor Pachacuti, the posh rapping of Charles II, Blackbeard the Pirate, George IV going solo, the Victorian Inventions song, and the World War Two Girls.
9:20am
(repeat)
Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?
Series 1, Episode 3 - Cold FeetWith his impending marriage approaching, Bob is having doubts. All his friends seem to be getting divorced and his relationship with Thelma has been up-and-down. Deep down he knows she is the right girl for him but Terry is hardly giving him the encouragement he craves.
9:25am
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 3, Episode 18 - More About Open And CloseAn artist is drawing a dog in a room. The dog wants to go out, so the artist opens the door. After a while, the artist opens the door again and calls the dog back inside. The Twirlywoos decide to open and close the door to let the dog in and out.
9:30am
(repeat)
So Awkward
Series 1, Episode 10 - Rox My WorldThe girls have teamed up to enter a National Young Inventors competition.
10am
(repeat)
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet
Comedy drama about a group of builders who flee overseas in search of work.
11:05am
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 13th series of Britain's most popular sitcom.
11:50am
(repeat)
The Darling Buds Of May
Comedy drama series about H.E. Bates's eccentric Larkin family.
12:10pm
(repeat)
Mapp & Lucia
TV series based on the 1930s books by EF Benson. Prunella Scales and Geraldine McEwan star.
1pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 26, Episode 9 - Lot No. 8Auntie Wainwright is rather pleased with herself when she lands a bargain at an auction. Unfortunately, she doesn't know what she has bought, or what to do with it when she gets it home.
1:05pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 5 - Ways And MeansAfter offering advice to fellow fishing-net "knitter" McLaren on curbing his short temper, Fletch attempts to make amends with the governor when McLaren forgoes angry outbursts for a more peaceful rooftop protest.
1:25pm
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 3, Episode 18 - More About Open And CloseAn artist is drawing a dog in a room. The dog wants to go out, so the artist opens the door. After a while, the artist opens the door again and calls the dog back inside. The Twirlywoos decide to open and close the door to let the dog in and out.
1:40pm
(repeat)
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
Series 2, Episode 2 - The RAF ReunionA forthcoming RAF reunion causes Frank to have difficulties sleeping.
1:45pm
(repeat)
As Time Goes By
Series 4, Episode 3 - Getting Rid Of GwenJean comes up with a complicated plan to get rid of Mrs. Flack once and for all, whilst Alistair struggles to comprehend doing the precise opposite with Judith.
2pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
A selection of four episodes from the animated version of Rowan Atkinson's creation.
2pm
(repeat)
Horrible Histories
Series 4, Episode 3Queen Elizabeth I goes online dating, Greek philosopher Socrates foils his own rescue from prison and Emicho of the Rhineland goes crusading with some very unusual sat navs to lead the way.
2:20pm
(repeat)
Birds Of A Feather
Series 5, Episode 1 - High FidelityCrises on two fronts for Tracey - first in her marriage and then with Sharon.
2:25pm
(repeat)
Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?
Series 1, Episode 3 - Cold FeetWith his impending marriage approaching, Bob is having doubts. All his friends seem to be getting divorced and his relationship with Thelma has been up-and-down. Deep down he knows she is the right girl for him but Terry is hardly giving him the encouragement he craves.
3pm
(repeat)
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 2, Episode 2 - I Got It Bad And That Ain't GoodWhile Yvonne has her heart set on moving house, Gary is still more tempted by time-travelling. Meanwhile in 1941, a tall dark stranger has entered Phoebe's life; no matter who he is, Gary wants to evict him.
3pm
(repeat)
Dennis The Menace & Gnasher
CBBC series based on the popular Beano comic character Dennis and his dog, Gnasher.
3:05pm
(repeat)
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet
Comedy drama about a group of builders who flee overseas in search of work.
3:10pm
(repeat)
Zig And Zag
Episode 4 - ZollercoasterZig and Zag accidentally create the worlds scariest roller coaster, all for a 'high-speed mid-ride' photo!
3:25pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 3, Episode 12 - FossilsBitzer has a map and a nose for hidden treasure - especially when it's a bone. This time he has unearthed more than he can chew. Shaun and the Flock get stuck in to help discover what he has found. It's beyond everyone's wildest dreams.
3:40pm
(repeat)
One Foot In The Grave
Series 2, Episode 1 - In Luton Airport No-One Can Hear You ScreamThe Meldrews return from a disastrous Greek holiday to discover that their home has burnt down. Six months and a pile of insurance headaches later, they are ensconced in their new abode and decide to throw a house-warming party. What could possibly go wrong?
4pm
(repeat)
Boj
Episode 28 - Keeping Mr CloppityWhen the buddies mishear Mr Cloppity say something is worn out and needs to leave the park, they think he means he is leaving and set about getting him to stay.
4:05pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 13th and 14th series of Britain's most popular sitcom.
4:10pm
(repeat)
You're Only Young Twice
Series 3, Episode 7 - The OutingThe annual Paradise Lodge visit to the seaside is meant to be a jolly affair but if any one can ruin it then Flora and Cissie can ...
4:20pm
(repeat)
One Foot In The Grave
Series 2, Episode 2 - We Have Put Her Living In The TombVictor and Margaret agree to look after Kylie the tortoise whilst Margaret's god-daughter Jennifer goes on holiday. Meanwhile, they set about decorating the new house.
4:30pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Animated adventures of comedy favourite Mr Bean, voiced by Rowan Atkinson.
4:45pm
(repeat)
On The Buses
Series 7, Episode 3 - The Ticket MachineMum and Olive decide to become mail-order agents, but grossly misunderstand how profitable it'll be, leaving Stan with a huge debt to pay off. Jack thinks he has the answer in the form of an 'expropriated' ticket machine...
4:45pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Animated adventures of comedy favourite Mr Bean, voiced by Rowan Atkinson.
5pm
(repeat)
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 15 - The Taj Mahal, IndiaThe grimbots attach a bit of the Taj Mahal to Grim HQ. Can the Go Jetters fix the glitch?
5:20pm
(repeat)
On The Buses
Series 7, Episode 4 - The PosterLuxton & District announces a staff competition to find the face of the perfect bus conductor for a new promotional advertising campaign. With a £100 prize for the chosen busman Stan is keen to win - and Blakey's keen to fire him!
6pm
(repeat)
Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
Series 2, Episode 2 - The RAF ReunionA forthcoming RAF reunion causes Frank to have difficulties sleeping.
6pm
(repeat)
Scream Street
Series 1, Episode 3 - LovestruckResus gets Luella to concoct a spell to stop his parents arguing but, as Luella is still a trainee witch, she gets the potion wrong and soon the whole town is feeling the love. Mrs Negative even falls in love with one of the nastiest characters on Scream Street! How will Luella and Resus get out of this mess?
6:05pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 5 - Ways And MeansAfter offering advice to fellow fishing-net "knitter" McLaren on curbing his short temper, Fletch attempts to make amends with the governor when McLaren forgoes angry outbursts for a more peaceful rooftop protest.
6:30pm
(repeat)
Man In The Moon
A repeat of this 1960 film.
6:35pm
(repeat)
Dennis The Menace & Gnasher
CBBC series based on the popular Beano comic character Dennis and his dog, Gnasher.
6:40pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 26, Episode 9 - Lot No. 8Auntie Wainwright is rather pleased with herself when she lands a bargain at an auction. Unfortunately, she doesn't know what she has bought, or what to do with it when she gets it home.
6:45pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 6 - Men Without WomenFletcher has been offering his advice to his fellow prisoners on the topic of romance. Letters written home result in a visiting room full of wives and sweethearts, but Fletcher's visitor is his eldest daughter. Should he be following his own advice?
6:45pm
(repeat)
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 4 - Planet Of The ToiletsOn a trip to Japan, Penfold's ill-timed comfort break sparks a world-wide porcelain revolution lead by the evil super-intelligent toilet Dr Loocifer.
7pm
(repeat)
Horrible Histories
Series 2, Episode 4Britain's greatest sailor, Admiral Nelson, turns out to be horribly seasick, two doctors from the Middle Ages argue over how to treat a patient, the programme discovers the many uses for an Incan llama, and the World War Two Girls sing about Girl Power on the Home Front.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 1, Episode 1Daddy is taken to hospital - quite inconvenient on the evening of Hyacinth's latest candle-lit supper.
7:35pm
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
Series 5, Christmas Special - A Royal FlushRodney meets an upper-crust young lady selling paintings down the market and they instantly hit it off. However, when Del finds out that she's Lady Victoria of Malebury, whose father is a cousin of the Queen, he begins to plot the couple's wedding.
8:30pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Animated adventures of comedy favourite Mr Bean, voiced by Rowan Atkinson.
8:40pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Animated adventures of comedy favourite Mr Bean, voiced by Rowan Atkinson.
9pm
(repeat)
Open All Hours
Series 1, Episode 5 - Well Catered FuneralHis best friend's funeral tests Arkwright's generosity to a painfull degree.
9pm40 min
Henry IX
Episode 1 - Reigned InHenry's snap decision to abdicate sends shockwaves through the Royal household, who close ranks in their efforts to make the King see sense.
9pm60 min version (repeat)
Live At The Apollo
Series 7, Episode 3 - Alan Carr, Andi Osho, Patrick KieltyAlan Carr introduces, in his own inimitable style, sets from the fabulous Andi Osho and the always magnificent Patrick Kielty.
9pm60 min
Benidorm
Series 9, Episode 5Joyce asks Sir Henry to step in while she is at the conference. Is it a chance for a few pranks?
9:30pm
(repeat)
Meet Ricky Gervais
Off-beat chat show hosted by Ricky Gervais before he was famous. Showing a total lack of both fear and tact, Ricky asks the questions no one else will.
9:40pm
(repeat)
Open All Hours
Series 1, Episode 6 - Apple And Self ServiceSlow apple sales lead to a self-service experiment for the corner shop.
9:40pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 2, Episode 1 - Just DessertsFletch has acquired an illicit tin of pineapple chunks, but they are stolen before he has the chance to enjoy them. It soon emerges that the pineapple chunks have surfaced in a rather unexpected place, while Godber attempts to nick him a replacement from the prison kitchen.
10pm30 min
Drunk History
Series 3, Episode 5Jessica Hynes stars as Emmeline Pankhurst in Luisa Omielan's hammered history of the suffragettes, while Stephen Mangan is Henry V in Tom Rosenthal's trollied tale of Agincourt.
10pm30 min
Jack Dee's HelpDesk
2017 Specials, Episode 2 - Jack Dee's HelpDeskIn this special episode on small, every-day problems, Jack's panel is Katherine Ryan, Jeremy Hardy, Andi Osho and Larry Lamb.
10pm80 min
Unspun With Matt Forde
Series 2, Episode 6The final episode of the series sees Matt joined by former Labour Prime Minister Tony Blair.
10pm30 min
The Nightly Show
Episode 28Bradley Walsh is joined on Wednesday's show by Tommy Tiernan and his Law & Order co-stars Jamie Bamber and Dame Harriet Walter.
10:20pm
(repeat)
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 2, Episode 3 - Just One More ChanceHaving been booked in 1994 after a drinking spree in 1941, time-traveller Gary is due to appear in court. He looks destined to lose his licence, his job and maybe even his wife.
10:20pm
(repeat)
Citizen Khan
Series 1, Episode 1Plans are being made for Shazia's forthcoming wedding to her handsome but dim fiancé Amjad. Mrs Khan's on the warpath because Mr Khan's forgotten to book the wedding venue, but it shouldn't be a problem as long as he can persuade mosque manager Dave to do him a favour...
10:30pm
(repeat)
Russell Howard & Mum
USA Road Trip - Series 1, Episode 5 - Hot-Rodding At The Demolition Derby (South Carolina)Russell and his mum are in South Carolina, where they have joined the Knights of Destruction, an All-American Demolition Derby, who find new and insane ways to smash up cars. Russell has signed up to get behind the wheel at the event and Ninette is taking to the mic to commentate in front of the 4000 strong crowd.
11pm
(repeat)
Citizen Khan
Series 1, Episode 2Mrs Khan's mother is staying with the family. But Mr Khan's big opportunity to hobnob with the bigwigs of the Sparkhill Business Association is threatened when he has to take his mother-in-law on a shopping trip - one that she will never forget.
11pm
(repeat)
Gavin & Stacey
Series 1, Episode 2After a huge misunderstanding on the phone, Stacey thinks Gavin has finished with her.
11pm
(repeat)
It's Not Me, It's You
Episode 1Panel show hosted by Eamonn Holmes. Team captains Kelly Brook and Vicky Pattison lead teams of well-known guests from the twin worlds of comedy and entertainment as they go head-to-head over a series of fun and cheeky games and challenges. This week's players are Katherine Ryan, Stephen Bailey, Anton Du Beke and Frankie Bridge.
11pm
(repeat)
A League Of Their Own
Series 7, Episode 8Alan Shearer, Jason Manford, The Saturdays' Frankie Sandford and her footballer boyfriend Wayne Bridge get involved in the sports fun.
11:20pm
(repeat)
Mock The Week
Series 14, Episode 8Featuring guests Ed Byrne, Nathan Caton, Ed Gamble and Sara Pascoe.
11:25pm
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 8 (Channel 4: Series 9), Episode 4Team captains Jon Richardson and Sean Lock are joined by guests Kevin Bridges and Rebecca Front. Rachel Riley is back on numbers-and-letters duty and Susie Dent is in Dictionary Corner with Joe Lycett.
11:30pm
(repeat)
The Chris Ramsey Show
Series 1, Episode 5This week, Tom Rosenthal and Tez Ilyas roast members of the audience and play a game of Mario Kart whilst trying not to get electrocuted. TOWIE's Ferne McCann helps one lucky lady find a date on the 11.21 train from London to Newcastle.
11:40pm
(repeat)
Little Britain
Series 3, Episode 3Roman gets a little more than he bargained for at a health spa, and Ting Tong has yet more secrets to divulge.
Midnight
(repeat)
Birds Of A Feather
Series 5, Episode 1 - High FidelityCrises on two fronts for Tracey - first in her marriage and then with Sharon.
Midnight
(repeat)
Bad Education
Series 1, Episode 5 - Football MatchAlfie reveals a hidden talent when the annual football match between Abbey Grove and the school he attended, Middleton House, approaches. Will the benefit scroungers pull it off, or Middleton's snooty toff boys who clinch the win?
Midnight
(repeat)
Mock The Week
Series 14, Episode 3Dara, Hugh and Andy are joined by James Acaster, Ed Byrne, Gary Delaney and Sara Pascoe.
Midnight
(repeat)
Duck Quacks Don't Echo
Series 2, Episode 6Lee Mack is joined by Chris Tarrant, Robert Webb and Kimberley Wyatt.
12:05am
(repeat)
The Horse's Mouth
Oscar-nominated comedy starring Alec Guinness. A vulgar but talented artist searches to translate his vision to a canvas or wall.
12:15am
(repeat)
The Nightly Show
Episode 28Bradley Walsh is joined on Wednesday's show by Tommy Tiernan and his Law & Order co-stars Jamie Bamber and Dame Harriet Walter.
12:20am
(repeat)
Peep Show
Series 2, Episode 3 - Jeremy Makes ItJeremy is determined to move his relationship with Nancy to that of proper boyfriend and girlfriend. So, he follows Nancy's belief in God and her feeding the homeless.
12:25am
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 8 (Channel 4: Series 9), Episode 5Sean Lock and Katherine Ryan take on Jon Richardson and David Mitchell. Nick Helm is in with Susie Dent, while Rachel Riley is back on numbers-and-letters duty.
12:40am
(repeat)
Steptoe And Son
Series 6, Episode 4 - Tea For TwoAlbert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.
12:40am
(repeat)
Unspun With Matt Forde
Series 2, Episode 6The final episode of the series sees Matt joined by former Labour Prime Minister Tony Blair.
1am
(repeat)
Cool It, Carol!
Joe Sickles and Carol Thatcher decide to head to London for work but the naïve couple soon become drawn to the more seedy side of the capital.
1am
(repeat)
French And Saunders
Series 4, Episode 4Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders are in bed with two Madonnas and pay tribute to Fleetwood Mac.
1:25am50 min version (repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 12, Episode 1Jimmy Carr, Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by British boxing sensation Amir Khan, The IT Crowd's Richard Ayoade and comics Holly Walsh and Josh Widdicombe.
1:35am
(repeat)
Doctor At Large
Episode 28 - Bewigged, Bothered And BewilderedHaving been newly appointed to the post of Junior Registrar, Upton blots his copybook during an evening in casualty by giving an injection to a patient that causes an allergic reaction...
1:40am
(repeat)
French And Saunders
Series 4, Episode 5Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders pay comic tribute to Sigourney Weaver, Dana, Mary Hopkin and pony films.
2am60 min version (repeat)
Have I Got News For You
Series 51, Episode 6Paul Merton and Ian Hislop are joined by guest host Frankie Boyle and guest panellists Adil Ray and Julia Hartley-Brewer.
2:20am
(repeat)
Shooting Stars
Series 3, Episode 3With Eddie Izzard, Melanie Sykes, Glenn Hugill and Carol Vorderman.
2:25am
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 8 (Channel 4: Series 9), Episode 4Team captains Jon Richardson and Sean Lock are joined by guests Kevin Bridges and Rebecca Front. Rachel Riley is back on numbers-and-letters duty and Susie Dent is in Dictionary Corner with Joe Lycett.
3am
(repeat)
PhoneShop
Series 2, Episode 5 - Come Dine With WeAs a 'Personality Greeter' is added to the staff roster, and a busking saxophonist vies for Janine's affections, Ashley realises a lifelong ambition; while Jerwayne finds that race can still be a barrier to love.
3am
(repeat)
Shooting Stars
Series 3, Episode 1With Tanya Bryer, Mariella Frostrup, Leo Sayer and Anthony Worrall-Thompson.
3:10am
(repeat)
Alan Partridge's Scissored Isle
Documentary spoof in which Alan Partridge journeys around the north of 'Broken Britain'.
3:30am
(repeat)
PhoneShop
Series 2, Episode 6 - Revenge Of The RazzFeeling sidelined and unloved, Christopher is offered a new sales job by headhunter Dean Bisk, while Ashley and Jerwayne find themselves drafted into Razz Prince's Elite Selling Krew. Is this the end for PhoneShop Sutton as we know it?
3:30am
(repeat)
The Smell Of Reeves And Mortimer
Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer offer up their unique brand of off-the-wall humour.
4am
(repeat)
Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy
Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy, Episode 2 - The Jelly FoxLysergic Casserole are trapped in a guitar case, Little Chrissie and Spoon Snake visit the Jelly Fox, while God ruins the party.
4:30am
(repeat)
Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy
Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy, Episode 3 - King TuttaDolly falls in love with a hat, Roy Circles reveals how he got over the death of his wife, and Noel uses his magic typewriter to obtain the ultimate frying pan.