Television
TV schedule Thursday 16th March 2017
6am
(repeat)
You're Only Young Twice
Series 1, Episode 7 - Too Many CooksIt's never a happy day at Paradise Lodge when Flora commemorates the anniversary of the death of her late husband. To make matters worse, cook has walked out and Flora now has the run of the kitchen!
7:25am
(repeat)
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 28 - Attack Of The ClownsThis episode is no laughing matter, especially when Danger Mouse's uncontrollable amusement creates clown-invading chaos on Earth - can DM prevent the world from being twisted into a novelty balloon shape?
8am
(repeat)
One Foot In The Grave
Series 6, Episode 5 - The Dawn Of ManVictor's hobby of fishing leads to an encounter with humanity at its most primitive. Patrick's gay brother, Nigel, comes to visit and Victor is asked to give a speech to the WI.
8:05am
(repeat)
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 48 - Bioluminescent Bay, Puerto RicoGlitch's bath time puts the creatures of Puerto Rico's Bioluminescent Bay in bubble-trouble.
8:25am
(repeat)
Justin's House
Series 2, Episode 21 - The Tooth FairyWhen Little Monster's tooth falls out everybody hopes the tooth fairy will visit Justin's house.
8:40am
(repeat)
The Brittas Empire
Despite his ambition and good intentions, everything seems to go wrong at Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre when manager Gordon Brittas is around.
9am
(repeat)
Timmy Time
Spin-off from Shaun The Sheep for the CBeebies channel, featuring Timmy the baby lamb and his friends.
9:20am
(repeat)
The Brittas Empire
Despite his ambition and good intentions, everything seems to go wrong at Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre when manager Gordon Brittas is around.
9:25am
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 18 - On Top OfThe Twirlywoos are in a clothes boutique, where they watch a lady trying on different hats. She isn't satisfied with any of them, and goes off to try on a dress.
9:30am
(repeat)
Sooty
Series 2, Episode 18 - FireworksIts fireworks night at the park, but Sooty, Sweep and Soo can't afford to go. Sooty decides to sell Curry soup and things soon hot up.
10am
(repeat)
Sorry!
Series 2, Episode 2 - Perchance To DreamTimothy's suffering from troubling nightmares in which he's back at school and being beaten by the headmaster - aged 41! He decides to consult a psychotherapist, who offers him advice on an interview for a promotion.
10:05am
(repeat)
Dani's Castle
Series 1, Episode 9 - Witch WorldDani and Jimmy each defend their branch of the family tree when a misunderstanding with local busy-body Mrs Crankett digs up an old witch legend of Bogmoor.
10:40am
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the eighth series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
11:15am
(repeat)
Hacker Time
Series 4, Episode 1 - Bobby LockwoodChat, music and comedy from Hacker T Dog, all with a canine curveball. In this episode, Hacker tries to outfox Wolfblood's Bobby Lockwood.
12pm
(repeat)
Next To No Time!
Comedy following a shy engineer's attempts to convince a businessman he's never met of his innovative plans.
12:10pm
(repeat)
Class Dismissed
Series 2, Episode 2 - TuesdayMr Christopher's been given a promotion, Mrs Winstone's calling in her library loans, Mr Capp's asleep in the playground and art teacher Mr Rhomb is nowhere to be seen... just an average Tuesday at Dockbridge High.
12:40pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 5, Episode 5 - First Past The PostWith a mixture of civic pride and sense of community, Susan decides to run for the council. As a result of this and Michael's new pet, Ben is tempted to run for the hills.
12:55pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 2, Episode 24 - Bitzer's Basic TrainingBitzer thinks The Farmer is planning to replace him, so Shaun helps to knock his friend into shape. Unfortunately Bitzer goes completely over the top with his training regime and starts running the farm with military precision driving everyone crazy.
1pm
(repeat)
As Time Goes By
Series 7, Episode 4 - The BypassOut at the house in Hampshire, Jean and Lionel get caught up in a countryside crisis when they learn a bypass is to be built around the village.
1:20pm
(repeat)
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 5, Episode 10Hyacinth wants to share her hostessing techniques and has placed an advertisement in the local newspaper promoting her high quality services.
1:25pm
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 18 - On Top OfThe Twirlywoos are in a clothes boutique, where they watch a lady trying on different hats. She isn't satisfied with any of them, and goes off to try on a dress.
1:30pm
(repeat)
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 29 - CheesemageddonAnother 'grate' episode. It sees fanatical cheese fundamentalist Aubrey Camembear threaten to create the ultimate weapon which will turn everything to cheese.
1:40pm
(repeat)
2pm
(repeat)
As Time Goes By
Series 1, Episode 1 - You Must Remember ThisFreelance secretary Judith works through her mother, Jean's, agency. When she goes to meet a new client, Lionel, to assist him in redrafting the manuscript for his autobiography, it rather curiously transpires that Lionel and Jean have met before.
2pm
(repeat)
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet
Comedy drama about a group of builders who flee overseas in search of work.
2pm
(repeat)
2:10pm
(repeat)
Hacker Time
Series 4, Episode 1 - Bobby LockwoodChat, music and comedy from Hacker T Dog, all with a canine curveball. In this episode, Hacker tries to outfox Wolfblood's Bobby Lockwood.
2:20pm
(repeat)
2:40pm
(repeat)
The Brittas Empire
Despite his ambition and good intentions, everything seems to go wrong at Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre when manager Gordon Brittas is around.
2:40pm
(repeat)
3pm
(repeat)
Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?
Series 2, Episode 12 - Conduct UnbecomingTerry has got involved in a ruck with a local hard man, Scaife, and is up before the magistrate. The next evening he is determined to finish the matter but, instead, calls a truce over a pint and a fag - but nobody has told Bob and his comments make for more hostility ...
3:10pm
(repeat)
Dennis The Menace & Gnasher
CBBC series based on the popular Beano comic character Dennis and his dog, Gnasher.
3:20pm
(repeat)
The Brittas Empire
Despite his ambition and good intentions, everything seems to go wrong at Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre when manager Gordon Brittas is around.
3:20pm
(repeat)
Would I Lie To You?
Series 7, Episode 6In this episode, David Mitchell is joined by Sarah Millican and Jon Richardson, and Lee Mack is joined by David Harewood and Bob Mortimer.
3:40pm
(repeat)
Yes, Prime Minister
Series 2, Episode 5 - Power To The PeopleFrustrated by the continued obstacle of local councils to central government policy, not to mention their unwieldynature and lack of democratic accountability, Hacker finds himself welcoming radical reform proposals from a leading professor. Neither Sir Humphrey, nor a troublesome militant socialist feminist council leader, however, are keen on the plans.
3:45pm
(repeat)
Gigglebiz
Series 4, Episode 7Professor Muddles creates a machine to make himself young again, while sports reporter Keith Fitt attempts to break another world record.
4pm
(repeat)
Three Men In A Boat
Adaptation of Jerome K Jerome's famed comic novel, starring Laurence Harvey, Jimmy Edwards and David Tomlinson.
4pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the eighth series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
4:20pm
(repeat)
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 6, Episode 2 - The Gestapo For The High JumpHerr Flick and Von Smallhausen are planning to disguise themselves as British airmen in order to be 'rescued' by the resistance; when both the German Army and René discover this, it's certain that the plan won't come off...
4:20pm
(repeat)
You're Only Young Twice
Series 2, Episode 1 - The Box NumberCissie places an advert in a newspaper but receives a somewhat unexpected response when it is misunderstood. The police are called, but seem unwilling to help: Flora takes action into her own hands...
4:30pm30 min
4 O'Clock Club
Series 6, Episode 3 - KaraokeWhen Clem gets talent-spotted all her dreams look like they might be coming true - but could her big break in the music industry spell the end of her friendship with Nero?
4:55pm
(repeat)
Doctor At Large
Episode 16 - It's All In The MindGranted that in medicine there will always be a certain amount of rivalry, Upton finds it's going too far when his patients are pinched - not by another doctor, but by Mrs. Watt, the witch!
5pm
(repeat)
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 2 - The Pyramids of Giza, EgyptGlitch creates big trouble with a little pyramid when he and the Go Jetters visit Egypt.
5:20pm
(repeat)
On The Buses
Series 5, Episode 11 - The StrainStan tries to prove his strength by picking up his girlfriend to guess her weight. In doing so, he strains his back and is instructed to wear a supportive, surgical corset if he wants to get back to work quickly.
5:30pm30 min
4 O'Clock Club
Series 6, Special - BabyLizzie starts having labour pains but Dexter is nowhere to be found. It's down to Nero to make sure Dexter arrives before the baby. A special musical episode.
6pm
(repeat)
6pm
(repeat)
Boomers
Series 1, Episode 3Thurnemouth Day is on the horizon, but for chairman Trevor he also has to consider his strained marriage. Meanwhile, Joyce has an equally lofty office to hold in the local Choral Society.
6:40pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 25, Episode 5 - Who's That With Barry And Glenda..?Truly deduces sinister activities - why else is Barry in the wood with a case?
6:40pm
(repeat)
Porridge: Inside Out
Episode 1 - Sent DownFirst of a three-part special giving a fascinating insight into one of the most-loved sitcoms of all time, with help from the show's creators, Clement and La Frenais.
6:45pm
(repeat)
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 30 - Queen Of The WeevilsOur hero's lack of belief in wizardry comes back to bite him as an evil Magical Queen, the Queen of Weevils, is released and determined to take revenge on the world.
7pm
(repeat)
Horrible Histories
Series 5, Episode 9There is public confusion when King Charles II bans coffee shops, a seasick chicken ruins a Roman sea battle, mighty Egyptian Pharaoh, Ramesses II, meets some smelly peasants on Historical Wife Swap, and a cave-dwelling Stone Age couple try to buy their first house.
7:20pm
(repeat)
As Time Goes By
Series 7, Episode 4 - The BypassOut at the house in Hampshire, Jean and Lionel get caught up in a countryside crisis when they learn a bypass is to be built around the village.
7:40pm
(repeat)
Porridge
A selection of three episodes of the prison-based sitcom.
8pm60 min version (repeat)
8:30pm30 min
Harry Hill's Alien Fun Capsule
Series 1, Episode 3Helping Harry this week are comedians Mel Giedroyc and Bridget Christie, and broadcasting legends Eamonn Holmes and Judith Chalmers.
8:50pm
(repeat)
Up With The Lark
Ethel & Gracie head to the country, disguised as Land Girls, on the trail of a gang of black marketeers.
9pm
(repeat)
Cockneys Vs Zombies
Comedy film about East End bank robbers who get caught up in a zombie infestation.
9pm
(repeat)
Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?
Series 2, Episode 12 - Conduct UnbecomingTerry has got involved in a ruck with a local hard man, Scaife, and is up before the magistrate. The next evening he is determined to finish the matter but, instead, calls a truce over a pint and a fag - but nobody has told Bob and his comments make for more hostility ...
9pm
(repeat)
Monty Python: Almost The Truth
Episode 3The Pythons reveal the 'The Sordid Personal Bits', as they discuss their unwanted celebrity status, member Graham Chapman, BBC censorship and the departure of John Cleese.
9pm60 min
John Bishop In Conversation With...
Series 2, Episode 1 - Lindsay LohanPassionate young Hollywood star Lindsay Lohan joins John Bishop in the first episode of the new series.
9pm
(repeat)
Not Going Out
Series 5, Episode 1 - BandWhen Tim joins a band at work and Lucy falls for the lead guitarist, Lee becomes jealous, and decides that if he can't beat them he should join them.
9pm
(repeat)
A League Of Their Own
Series 11, Episode 4James Corden, Freddie Flintoff and Jamie Redknapp are joined by Nick Grimshaw, Niall Horan and Kirsty Gallacher for more sports trivia fun.
9pm60 min
Gap Year
Episode 4 - Thailand: The Full MoonGreg leads the gang to a legendary Full Moon Party in Thailand, but an unexpected face from the past turns up and threatens to ruin everyone's fun.
9:40pm
(repeat)
Yes, Prime Minister
Series 2, Episode 5 - Power To The PeopleFrustrated by the continued obstacle of local councils to central government policy, not to mention their unwieldynature and lack of democratic accountability, Hacker finds himself welcoming radical reform proposals from a leading professor. Neither Sir Humphrey, nor a troublesome militant socialist feminist council leader, however, are keen on the plans.
9:40pm
(repeat)
Not Going Out
Series 5, Episode 2 - DadsLee's lazy weekend is wrecked when his scrounging father turns up unexpectedly. Having just come out of hospital he needs somewhere to stay for the weekend. Will Lee take on the demanding role of carer?
9:50pm
(repeat)
Mrs. Brown's Boys
Series 1, Episode 3 - Mammy's MerchandiseDermot wants to ask his childhood friend, Buster, to be best man at his wedding - now just weeks away - but Agnes has set her heart on Mark, her eldest son, filling the position.
10pm
(repeat)
Comedy Store
An access all areas pass to the hallowed comedy venue with stand-up sets from new comedians and headline acts.
10pm30 min
The Nightly Show
Episode 14Davina chats to Jack Savoretti and Kimberly Wyatt, plus presents a trick by magician Ben Hanlin.
10:15pm
(repeat)
Psychobitches
Series 2, Episode 3Featuring appearances from Lucille Ball, Bonnie Parker, Mrs Noah, Pocahontas and Mary Magdalene.
10:20pm
(repeat)
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 6, Episode 2 - The Gestapo For The High JumpHerr Flick and Von Smallhausen are planning to disguise themselves as British airmen in order to be 'rescued' by the resistance; when both the German Army and René discover this, it's certain that the plan won't come off...
10:20pm
(repeat)
Mock The Week
Series 3, Episode 4Mark Watson is on Hugh Dennis and Frankie Boyle's team again this week. Meanwhile Andy Parsons is joined by Ian Stone and Jon Culshaw.
10:25pm
(repeat)
Harry Enfield & Chums
A selection of episodes from the second series of Harry Enfield's sketch show.
10:40pm
(repeat)
Russell Howard's Good News
Series 9, Episode 4Russell looks at Obama getting beat in the US mid term elections, the John Lewis Christmas advert and The Matrix... with chickens...
11pm
(repeat)
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet
Comedy drama about a group of builders who flee overseas in search of work.
11pm
(repeat)
Unspun With Matt Forde
Series 2, Episode 3This week's interview sees Matt talking to former Labour Party big-wig Harriet Harman.
11:10pm
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 6 (Channel 4: Series 7), Episode 4Jon Richardson and Katherine Ryan take on Sean Lock and Rob Beckett. Greg Davies is in with Susie Dent, while Rachel Riley takes care of the numbers and letters.
11:15pm
(repeat)
Drunk History
Series 3, Episode 2Michelle Keegan and Joel Fry act out Lydia Rose Bewley and Jess Knappett's tale of royal rivalry (Queen Elizabeth I versus Mary Queen of Scots) and James 'Murr' Murray blasts through Billy the Kid with Mat Horne and Mat Baynton.
11:45pm
(repeat)
Russell Howard & Mum
USA Road Trip - Series 1, Episode 2 - Survival Prepping In UtahRussell and Ninette have come to Utah to meet and train with the Preppers, people who are all set for Armageddon. The Howards team up with a crack team who prepare them and transform them into action heroes so they are ready to face the Zombie Apocalypse - although it may be Ninette who can teach the Preppers a thing or two.
Midnight
(repeat)
Mock The Week
Series 11, Episode 10Dara O'Briain, Hugh Dennis, Andy Parsons and Chris Addison analyse the week's news. With guests Ed Byrne, Alun Cochrane and Gary Delaney.
12:15am
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 17, Episode 5Team captains Jon Richardson and Sean Lock are joined by guests Jo Brand, Ronan Keating, Krishnan Guru-Murthy and James Acaster.
12:15am
(repeat)
The Nightly Show
Episode 14Davina chats to Jack Savoretti and Kimberly Wyatt, plus presents a trick by magician Ben Hanlin.
12:40am
(repeat)
12:55am
(repeat)
Peep Show
Series 7, Episode 3 - A Beautiful MindJeremy attempts to impress Zahra by holding a book group at the flat, but apart from Mr Nice, Jeremy has never read a book. Mark meanwhile is worried that he is unable to satisfy Dobby's sexual needs, and decides to purchase some help.
1am
(repeat)
Duck Quacks Don't Echo
Series 2, Highlights Special - ExtraRelive the most memorable moments from Series 2 of the riotous panel show.
1:20am
(repeat)
Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled
Series 2, Episode 10Meandering chat with Alan Davies and guests Jonathan Ross, Germaine Greer, Tom Wrigglesworth and Lucy Beaumont. 'Goat punching' is just one of their mad subjects!
1:30am
(repeat)
Harry Enfield & Chums
Series 2, Episode 1Hit 1990s sketch show starring Harry Enfield, Paul Whitehouse and Kathy Burke.
2am
(repeat)
Gap Year
Episode 4 - Thailand: The Full MoonGreg leads the gang to a legendary Full Moon Party in Thailand, but an unexpected face from the past turns up and threatens to ruin everyone's fun.
2:05am
(repeat)
Shooting Stars
Series 7, Episode 4EastEnders favourite Cheryl Fergison, who plays Heather; One Show regular Dominic Littlewood; chef Jean Christophe Novelli; and Skins actor Luke Pasqualino take part in the surreal panel game.
2:20am
(repeat)
Marshal's Law
A selection of episodes from the first series of the Loaded TV sitcom.
2:20am
(repeat)
Last Tango In Halifax
Series 1, Episode 5Alan finds it hard to choose his best man. Caroline and Gillian discover they were born on the same day, but their respective birthday celebrations descend into chaos when John outs Caroline and Kate.
2:30am
(repeat)
Kevin Bridges - The Story Continues
Young Scottish stand-up comic Kevin Bridges performs his second live tour in front of a packed-out Glasgow arena crowd.
2:45am
(repeat)
Shooting Stars
Series 7, Episode 5Guests joining in the fun tonight are Gavin And Stacey star Mathew Horne; the new Mr Jordan, Alex Reid; GMTV's Penny Smith; and TV presenter Tim Lovejoy.
3:15am45 min version (repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 13, Episode 5Jimmy Carr once again oversees the disputes and deliberations on the topical events that set the nation's chins wagging as Jon Richardson and Sean Lock are joined by guests Nick Helm, Kate Humble, David O'Doherty and Claudia Winkleman.
3:20am
(repeat)
Yes, Prime Minister
Episode 5 - Scot FreeAnother crisis looms for Jim when a coalition partner threatens to jump ship. Guest starring Robbie Coltrane.
3:25am
(repeat)