Television
TV schedule Thursday 16th February 2017
6am
(repeat)
A Fire Has Been Arranged
Comedy about a trio of crooks on the hunt for their stashed loot after 10 years in prison. Unfortunately a department store has been built on the site.
6am
(repeat)
In Loving Memory
Series 4, Episode 1 - Flying UndertakerAfter being buzzed by a low-flying plane and finding its pilot is an attractive young woman, Billy sets his sight on the skies. But Auntie Ivy isn't going to let him get into danger without sticking an oar in!
7:25am
(repeat)
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 40 - All 5itIt's time for Danger Mouse to face the music when he goes undercover as the fifth member of Quark's mega-popular (but secretly evil) boy band.
7:50am
(repeat)
No Smoking
A village chemist invents an anti-smoking tablet but the tobacco companies aren't happy.
8am
(repeat)
The Green Green Grass
Series 3, Episode 4 - Sweet SorrowThe pair are flushed with pride as they dream of their son's golden future, but when Tyler's exam results let him down, it is the staff who provide the key to his career and get him motivated.
8:05am
(repeat)
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 34 - The Parthenon, GreeceThe Grimbots are flying the Vroomster and their dodgy manoeuvres are about to flatten the Parthenon - Go Jetters, Go!
8:25am
(repeat)
Justin's House
Series 2, Episode 1 - HottyspottyitisEvery time Justin and Little Monster sneeze something messy happens in Justin's house. Helped by a doctor download, Robert does his best to cure the pair of their Hottyspottyitis.
8:25am
(repeat)
Horrible Histories
Series 6, Episode 3 - Mardy Mary Queen Of ScotsWe follow the young Mary as she stumbles from young girl in Scotland, to Queen in France, back to Queen in Scotland, and finally to Elizabeth I's public enemy no. 1 - with a bit of Queenian Rhapsody thrown in for good measure! Meanwhile across the world we meet silver-nosed Danish scientist Tycho Brahe, and Mr H gives us his unique take on the epic Battle of Lepanto in another History's Craziest Fools.
8:40am
(repeat)
To The Manor Born
Christmas Special - 25th Anniversary SpecialAudrey and Richard's 25th wedding anniversary is coming up, so there is a party to plan at Grantleigh Manor. The scene is set for a great night until an extraordinary confession gets in the way.
9am
(repeat)
Timmy Time
Spin-off from Shaun The Sheep for the CBeebies channel, featuring Timmy the baby lamb and his friends.
9:20am
(repeat)
All In Good Fun
Bob Monkhouse introduces the golden age of slapstick comedy. Mack Sennett, Chaplin, The Keystone Kops and many more.
9:30am
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 18 - SoftThe Twirlywoos meet a soft and fluffy cat. Back in the Boat the Box brings them a soft surprise.
10am
(repeat)
One Foot In The Grave
Series 6, Episode 4 - Threatening WeatherPlunged into darkness after a power cut on a sweltering summer night, Victor and Margaret reflect on their lives, hopes and fears.
10:40am
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 30th series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
11:35am
(repeat)
Millie Inbetween
A selection of episodes from the third series of the CBBC sitcom.
12:40pm
(repeat)
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 5, Episode 9Having lost out in a floral display competition, Hyacinth sets her sights on a new car and soon has Richard on a Rolls-Royce test drive.
1pm
(repeat)
As Time Goes By
Series 4, Episode 8 - Wedding Day NervesWhile Lionel suffers an attack of the wedding day wobbles, bride-to-be Jean does her utmost to remain calm in spite of her sister-in-law's efforts.
1:20pm
(repeat)
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 5, Episode 10Hyacinth wants to share her hostessing techniques and has placed an advertisement in the local newspaper promoting her high quality services.
1:30pm
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 18 - SoftThe Twirlywoos meet a soft and fluffy cat. Back in the Boat the Box brings them a soft surprise.
1:40pm
(repeat)
Steptoe And Son
Series 8, Episode 2 - And So To BedAlbert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.
2pm
(repeat)
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet
Comedy drama about a group of builders who flee overseas in search of work.
2pm
(repeat)
To The Manor Born
Christmas Special - 25th Anniversary SpecialAudrey and Richard's 25th wedding anniversary is coming up, so there is a party to plan at Grantleigh Manor. The scene is set for a great night until an extraordinary confession gets in the way.
2pm
(repeat)
Room 101
Series 3, Episode 1 - Richard Osman, Joan Bakewell, Roisin ConatyPointless star Richard Osman, TV presenter and peer Joan Bakewell and comedian Roisin Conaty try to get the things they hate the most into Room 101, including gardening, cobblers and people who keep mentioning Richard's height.
2:20pm
(repeat)
Birds Of A Feather
Series 2, Episode 7 - Brief EncounterDorien becomes concerned about their financial situation when Marcus is reluctant to move. Chris is aiming to become the new prison drugs runner and Sharon starts an affair with financial adviser Don when she helps him after he is mugged at Chigwell station.
2:30pm
(repeat)
Horrible Histories
Series 6, Episode 3 - Mardy Mary Queen Of ScotsWe follow the young Mary as she stumbles from young girl in Scotland, to Queen in France, back to Queen in Scotland, and finally to Elizabeth I's public enemy no. 1 - with a bit of Queenian Rhapsody thrown in for good measure! Meanwhile across the world we meet silver-nosed Danish scientist Tycho Brahe, and Mr H gives us his unique take on the epic Battle of Lepanto in another History's Craziest Fools.
2:40pm
(repeat)
3pm
(repeat)
Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?
Series 1, Episode 9 - Storm In A Tea ChestIt seems a simple task, moving your most treasured possessions from one house to the next, but Bob has pangs of guilt about bringing his past with him.
3:15pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 30th and 31st series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
3:20pm
(repeat)
Would I Lie To You?
Series 5, Episode 1Rob Brydon is back in the host's chair for the fifth series of this comedy panel show. David Mitchell is joined by Rebecca Front and Jack Whitehall, and Lee Mack is joined by Nick Hewer and Miranda Hart.
3:40pm
(repeat)
Yes Minister
Series 3, Episode 3 - The Skeleton In The CupboardThe Minister is dismayed when he is instructed that he must discipline the most efficient borough council in the country for having failed to return a few statistical surveys to Whitehall. A visit to Scotland's past offers up the perfect opportunity to reach a compromise.
4pm15 min
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 25 - 9 LivesMax panics when he realises he's already lost six of his nine lives!
4:15pm15 min
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 26 - Breaking BreadMax and Gark harness Gark's laser-toasting powers to make the most delicious bread crumbs in the world.
4:20pm
(repeat)
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 5, Episode 10 - René - Under An Assumed NoseOnce again, René goes into hiding when it is believed that he was behind a plot to kill the Generals at their invasion meeting. Unfortunately, he chooses to disguise himself as a General...
4:20pm
(repeat)
In Loving Memory
Series 4, Episode 2 - Trouble At MillBilly bumps into an old school friend whilst collecting a body, and it turns out she's always been rather fond of him! Ivy, meanwhile, attends her own former primary school and is soon called upon to help one of the pupils.
4:30pm30 min
Millie Inbetween
Series 3, Episode 11 - Valentine's DayLauren is completely loved-up and ignoring Millie. Missing her sister's attention, Millie pretends she's had a valentine from a new boyfriend. Meanwhile, Craig impresses Fran when he sticks up for Jake.
4:55pm
(repeat)
Rising Damp
Series 4, Episode 2 - Fire And BrimstoneSince Alan moved out, there's a spare bed in Philip's room, and Rigsby has no intentions of keeping it empty. However, his plans to prey on the missionary instincts of a religious man backfire when he begins to convert Miss Jones!
5pm
(repeat)
Boj
Episode 37 - The Giggly Park ExpressWith just cardboard boxes and a bit of imagination, Boj and his buddies make a train to take Denzil and his teddies on a trip around the world.
5:05pm
(repeat)
Carry On Spying
Four trainee spies are put on the trail of the subversive organisation STENCH as they try to track down the secret Formula X.
5:15pm
(repeat)
The Vicar Of Dibley
Series 3, Episode 3 - SpringSpring's on the way, and the Vicar has just about managed to get Alice and Hugo to agree to a reasonably sensible name for their baby. That means that the Christening can finally take place - but first, David has romance, and Geraldine, squarely on his mind.
5:20pm
(repeat)
On The Buses
Series 4, Episode 2 - The Canteen GirlBlakey's plan to marry one of the girls from the canteen and raise chickens in the country pleases Jack and Stan until they meet the new Inspector. They resolve to tell - or show - Blake the truth about his intended!
5:20pm15 min
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 45 - Cappadocia, TurkeyA game of hide-and-seek threatens to topple the fairy chimneys of Cappadocia in Turkey.
6pm
(repeat)
Steptoe And Son
Series 8, Episode 2 - And So To BedAlbert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.
6pm
(repeat)
Gavin & Stacey
Series 1, Episode 4The Shipmans drive down to Wales for the wedding fayre, and after a momentous trip to the church for the reading of the banns, Nessa tells Stacey her big secret.
6pm
(repeat)
Room 101
Series 3, Episode 2 - Michael Ball, Caroline Quentin, Henning WehnSinger Michael Ball, actress Caroline Quentin, and German comedy ambassador to the United Kingdom Henning Wehn try to dump fundraising, clairvoyants and junk mail into the Orwellian chamber.
6:40pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 23, Episode 5 - Beware Of The Hot DogWesley builds a turbo hot-dog grill.
6:40pm
(repeat)
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 5, Episode 9Having lost out in a floral display competition, Hyacinth sets her sights on a new car and soon has Richard on a Rolls-Royce test drive.
6:40pm
(repeat)
6:45pm
(repeat)
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 13 - The Unusual SuspectsWhen secret information is leaked from HQ all eyes fall on Colonel K! Is it possible he's a traitor or is there something suspicious about his moustache?
7pm
(repeat)
Horrible Histories
Series 3, Episode 4The Horrible Histories team recount an unusual Stuart highwayman who doesn't always steal victims' cash.
7:20pm
(repeat)
As Time Goes By
Series 4, Episode 8 - Wedding Day NervesWhile Lionel suffers an attack of the wedding day wobbles, bride-to-be Jean does her utmost to remain calm in spite of her sister-in-law's efforts.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 5, Episode 10Hyacinth wants to share her hostessing techniques and has placed an advertisement in the local newspaper promoting her high quality services.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Would I Lie To You?
Series 5, Episode 2Rob Brydon is back in the host's chair for another edition. David is joined by Robert Webb and Terry Wogan, and Lee is joined by Katy Wix and Kevin Bridges.
7:30pm
(repeat)
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 25 - 9 LivesMax panics when he realises he's already lost six of his nine lives!
7:45pm
(repeat)
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 26 - Breaking BreadMax and Gark harness Gark's laser-toasting powers to make the most delicious bread crumbs in the world.
8pm
(repeat)
The Vicar Of Dibley
2006/2007 Specials, Christmas Special - The Handsome StrangerYet another Dibley cottage has been sold to a Londoner, and Geraldine's not happy about the breakdown of the community. Setting out to confront the new stranger, she is struck by his immediate charm and good looks - but is he all he seems?
8pm60 min version (repeat)
8:45pm
(repeat)
Monty Python's Personal Best
Episode 5 - Michael PalinMichael Palin selects his favourite Python clips, including the fish-slapping dance he performed with John Cleese.
9pm
(repeat)
Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?
Series 1, Episode 9 - Storm In A Tea ChestIt seems a simple task, moving your most treasured possessions from one house to the next, but Bob has pangs of guilt about bringing his past with him.
9pm
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 11 (Channel 4: Series 12), Episode 5Jimmy Carr hosts a new edition of the irreverent take on the classic letters and numbers quiz. Jon Richardson and David Mitchell take on guest captain Joe Wilkinson and Roisin Conaty. Tom Allen joins Susie Dent in Dictionary Corner, while Rachel Riley looks after the numbers and letters.
9pm
(repeat)
Celebrity Advice Bureau
Episode 3Entertaining series in which celebrity advisers, including Louis Walsh, Fay Ripley, David Baddiel and Rick Edwards, offer their best advice for daily dilemmas.
9pm60 min version (repeat)
QI
Series M, Episode 16 - MisconceptionsWith Chris Addison, Sara Cox, Sue Perkins, and joining them and Alan Davies for one last time, Stephen Fry in his farewell appearance as host.
9:15pm
(repeat)
Gavin & Stacey
Series 3, Episode 4Gavin is uncomfortable with Gwen and Bryn knowing the ins and outs of his and Stacey's sex life. Meanwhile, Smithy goes beyond the call of friendship by making a staggering suggestion.
9:40pm
(repeat)
Yes Minister
Series 3, Episode 3 - The Skeleton In The CupboardThe Minister is dismayed when he is instructed that he must discipline the most efficient borough council in the country for having failed to return a few statistical surveys to Whitehall. A visit to Scotland's past offers up the perfect opportunity to reach a compromise.
9:55pm
(repeat)
Gimme Gimme Gimme
Series 1, Episode 6 - I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I DoLinda's outraged when Tom announces his intention to marry a woman. But she needn't fret: his betrothed is a lesbian who merely needs to stay in the country for her girlfriend. Linda struggles to understand the situation, but there is just a week before the big day...
10pm
(repeat)
Dentist On The Job
Comedy sequel. Colonel Proudfoot is looking for a dentist to endorse his new toothpaste and his cousin may have just the men.
10pm
(repeat)
Withnail & I
Film following the drink-and drug-fuelled misadventures of two struggling actors in a squalid London flat and an isolated Lake District cottage.
10pm30 min
Urban Myths: Muhammad Ali
Comedy drama about Muhammad Ali talking a suicidal stranger down from a ledge.
10pm
(repeat)
Live At The Apollo
Series 12, Episode 6 - Joe Lycett, Ivo Graham, Phil WangMischievous regular Joe Lycett hosts, and introduces the brilliant Ivo Graham and uniquely eccentric Phil Wang to the stage.
10pm
(repeat)
Mock The Week
Series 10, Episode 1Mock The Week returns for another series. Dara, Hugh and Andy are joined by guests Milton Jones, Chris Addison, Seann Walsh and Greg Davies.
10pm60 min
Parenting For Idiots
Episode 3 - RulesThe last episode takes a humorous look at the importance of attempting to put in place some basic rules while raising your little ones, from sticking to a routine to instilling discipline.
10pm
(repeat)
A League Of Their Own
Series 9, Episode 6Presenter Amanda Holden joins Freddie Flintoff and Jack Whitehall on the blue team, while Jamie Redknapp lines up alongside award-winning comic and Trollied star Aisling Bea, and his former Liverpool midfield partner John Barnes.
10:20pm
(repeat)
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 5, Episode 10 - René - Under An Assumed NoseOnce again, René goes into hiding when it is believed that he was behind a plot to kill the Generals at their invasion meeting. Unfortunately, he chooses to disguise himself as a General...
10:30pm
(repeat)
Psychobitches
Series 1, Episode 4A troubled Nancy Spungen performs a couple of lewd songs, and Eve talks, with great regret, about her sexual relationship with Adam.
10:35pm
(repeat)
Peep Show
Series 4, Episode 6 - WeddingMark and Sophie's big day arrives, but as the groom makes his way to the church with best man Jeremy and a very hungover Super Hans, he continues to wrestle with crippling doubts which threaten to throw the event into disarray.
10:40pm
(repeat)
Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled
Series 3, Episode 7Alan is joined by Jo Brand, Chris Martin, Tommy Tiernan and Alun Cochrane to discuss such varied subjects as modern male grooming habits, dating unsuitable men, communicating with the 'other side' and using elongated periods of comedic wonderment to deal with anger management issues.
11pm
(repeat)
Auf Wiedersehen, Pet
Comedy drama about a group of builders who flee overseas in search of work.
11pm
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 1 (Channel 4: Series 2), Episode 3This week, Jimmy, Sean and Jon are joined by celebrity guests Sarah Millican and Humphrey Ker. Countdown regular Susie Dent is in with Rich Hall, while the country's favourite boffin, Rachel Riley, provides the letters and numbers with a little help from comedian Joe Wilkinson.
11pm
(repeat)
The Chris Ramsey Show
Series 1, Episode 6Chris welcomes guests Nish Kumar and Carl Hutchinson who compete against each other in a game of WWE with a twist; Chris has invited professional wrestlers The London Riots to show Nish and Carl what a real wrestling move looks like. Plus, this week on the train, Chris tries to make dinner for his guest, Pussy Cat Doll Ashley Roberts.
11:05pm
(repeat)
Peep Show
Series 3, Episode 1 - MuggingMark gets mugged on his way back from work by two teenagers, who steal his beloved Blackberry. And when Sophie comes on strong to him, he can't get aroused because he's pre-occupied by the muggers. He's a man obsessed.
11:20pm
(repeat)
Absolutely Fabulous
Series 4, Episode 2 - Fish FarmAfter a night of drink and drugs in a mosh pit, Patsy talks Eddy into seducing the gardener Saffy has hired. Not only is he young and attractive, but Pats recognises him as the heir to a gentrified family.
11:40pm
(repeat)
Big School
Series 1, Episode 5Miss Postern has put herself down for an Ironman competition, but realises too late what is involved. Her attempts to train, assisted by Mr Gunn, only serve to raise Mr Church's jealousy to new heights.
11:40pm
(repeat)
Mock The Week
Series 10, Episode 2Dara O'Briain and the team dissect another week's headlines with guests Chris Addison, Ed Byrne, Micky Flanagan and Diane Morgan.
Midnight
(repeat)
W1A
Series 2, Episode 3Former head of output Anna Rampton has been crowned director of better. No-one on the management team is quite clear what the job entails.
Midnight
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 18, Episode 2In their quest to uncover the nation's most popular talking points, Jon and Sean are joined by Henry Winkler, Henning Wehn, Romesh Ranganathan and Rebecca Adlington.
12:20am
(repeat)
Big School
Series 1, Episode 6Miss Postern has arranged a trip to France, and Mr Church is desperate to join her as a supporting member of staff. Having bargained his way onto the trip, events in Dieppe do not turn out quite as planned.
12:20am
(repeat)
Would I Lie To You?
Series 5, Episode 2Rob Brydon is back in the host's chair for another edition. David is joined by Robert Webb and Terry Wogan, and Lee is joined by Katy Wix and Kevin Bridges.
12:40am
(repeat)
Russell Howard's Good News
Series 9, Episode 7Russell looks at Black Friday, the new Star Wars trailer and if Jesus was a stand-up comedian.
1am
(repeat)
Gimme Gimme Gimme
Series 1, Episode 6 - I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I DoLinda's outraged when Tom announces his intention to marry a woman. But she needn't fret: his betrothed is a lesbian who merely needs to stay in the country for her girlfriend. Linda struggles to understand the situation, but there is just a week before the big day...
1am60 min version (repeat)
1:30am
(repeat)
The Alternative Comedy Experience
Series 2, Episode 9 - Low StandardsTonight's episode of the Stewart Lee-curated stand-up show features Simon Munnery, Stephen Carlin, Hattie Hayridge, plus performance poet Paul Hamilton and some dancing from Gráinne Maguire.
1:40am
(repeat)
Peep Show
Series 3, Episode 1 - MuggingMark gets mugged on his way back from work by two teenagers, who steal his beloved Blackberry. And when Sophie comes on strong to him, he can't get aroused because he's pre-occupied by the muggers. He's a man obsessed.
2am
(repeat)
No Offence
Series 2, Episode 7With Deering, Dinah and Joy's friendship in jeopardy and Donna Calvert missing, the race to prevent the Attahs' escape and to bag them once and for all puts the team's lives at stake. The final action-packed showdown sees Viv at her finest, deconstructing Nora's family, and trying to repair the fractures that have crept in to her own...
2am
(repeat)
Comedy Store
An access all areas pass to the hallowed comedy venue with stand-up sets from new comedians and headline acts.
2:10am
(repeat)
Shooting Stars
Series 2, Episode 10With Donna Air, Morwenna Banks, Griff Rhys Jones and Stephen Tompkinson.
2:10am
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 1 (Channel 4: Series 2), Episode 3This week, Jimmy, Sean and Jon are joined by celebrity guests Sarah Millican and Humphrey Ker. Countdown regular Susie Dent is in with Rich Hall, while the country's favourite boffin, Rachel Riley, provides the letters and numbers with a little help from comedian Joe Wilkinson.
2:20am
(repeat)
Spaced
A selection of episodes from the second series of the sitcom by Simon Pegg and Jessica Hynes.
2:30am
(repeat)
Comedy Store
Mickey is stressed with life in the middle class and the amount of ketchup given in restaurants! Learn of his days as an international lover, dreams of being a van driver and more at the Comedy Store!
2:45am
(repeat)
Shooting Stars
Series 2, Episode 7With Tim Brooke-Taylor, Belinda Carlisle, Reg Presley and Paul Kaye as Dennis Pennis.
3am
(repeat)
Live At The Electric
Series 2, Episode 1Russell Kane brings the bard to Essex in The Only Way is Shakespeare, Marcel Lucont gives us some sex advice, and Jones reveals his true feelings for The Headmaster as WitTank present The School.
3:10am50 min version (repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 12, Episode 5Jimmy, Sean and Jon thrash out the hot stories of the week with guests Vernon Kay, Tim Minchin, Joe Wilkinson and Rachel Riley.
3:20am
(repeat)
Getting On
Series 2, Episode 1There's more grim humour among the bedpans as a new shift unfolds on B4. Kim has an unknown female admission to occupy her, Den has Hilary to cope with, and Pippa has a ward round. Mrs Fyvie, a new patient, is admitted but it's her daughter, Beedy, who requires more attention than her mother.
3:45am
(repeat)
The Alternative Comedy Experience
Series 2, Episode 8 - The One With The GermanTonight's show features alternative comedy legend Kevin McAleer, plus ace stand-ups Stephen Carlin, Fern Brady, Isy Suttie, and Henning Wehn (who is German). Stewart Lee meets them backstage.