Television
TV schedule Thursday 9th February 2017
In Loving Memory
Series 3, Episode 4 - Memories Are Made Of ThisThe latest edition of The Undertakers' Journal has a new column, inviting readers to submit articles of interest. Ivy's convinced she has a tale to tell, and sets about writing up the events of 'a typical day', based on their recent exploits with the broken-down hearse.
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 35 - Send In The ClonesDanger Mouse and Penfold come up against themselves as Quark creates cheap copies of our heroes in his latest money-making scheme.
Open All Hours
Series 4, Episode 5 - Happy Birthday ArkwrightWhat does Arkwright want for his birthday? Certainly not a visit from the man from the Good Shop Guide.
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 8 - The Brandenburg Gate, GermanyWhen Grandmaster Glitch takes the quadriga from the Brandenburg Gate, the Go Jetters must stop him before he reaches Grim HQ.
Justin's House
Series 3, Episode 17 - Blocked PipeWhen Little Monster blocks up the pipes with old custard, Robert calls in the help of slop experts Cook and Line from Swashbuckle.
To The Manor Born
Series 2, Episode 5Unfortunately for Richard, his latest attempt to overhaul the workings of the estate farm and improve its throughput happen to coincide with Marjory and Audrey's being on a kick of 'countryside conservancy'.
Timmy Time
Spin-off from Shaun The Sheep for the CBeebies channel, featuring Timmy the baby lamb and his friends.
The Bargee
Meet Hemel Pike, the Casanova of the canals. Born on the waterways, he sees no downside to the aquatic life - but events could catch up with him.
To The Manor Born
Series 2, Episode 6Richard plans a skiing holiday, but with his mother ill and Audrey having put her back out, will he ever leave? He's just got to learn how to ski first!
Sooty
Series 2, Episode 2 - The New BuildingIt is the ceremonial grand opening of Mr Slater's new toilet block, but chaos looms when it becomes apparent that builders Sooty and Sweep have forgotten to install the vital component - a toilet! Can they get it fitted in time, or will Richard's career end up round the bend?
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 13 - WrappingThe Twirlywoos see someone wrapping a present and get carried away trying to wrap things of their own. Back in the Boat, the Stop-Go Car brings them a long scarf that they all get wrapped up in.
One Foot In The Grave
Series 5, Episode 4 - Hole In The SkyMargaret's in for a number of shocks as Victor helps a young Dutch girl to get back on her feet and a pair of eccentric builders arrive to embark on a loft conversion.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 29, Episode 5 - All That Glitters Is Not ElvisWhen Alvin and Entwistle see Lance trying to convince his wife that Elvis is still alive, they feel a duty to help the King make an appearance.
4 O'Clock Club
Series 2, Episode 11 - Music ThiefJosh has written his best track ever and decides he's going to sell CDs of it in school. But when he realises he's sampled a famous track without permission he has to get all the CDs back before he's caught.
Spot Bots
Episode 3 - Zoing BoingsCubi and Lexi struggle to keep their wheels on the ground when they discover a patch of bouncy zoing boings.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 29, Episode 6 - Eva's Back In TownWhen a worldly-wise old acquaintance of Alvin's makes an appearance, she proves to be just the woman to make Howard's life more complicated.
Mapp & Lucia
TV series based on the 1930s books by EF Benson. Prunella Scales and Geraldine McEwan star.
My Family
Series 4, Episode 2 - They Shoot Harpers, Don't They?When Roger shows some talent at acting, Susan decides to jump on the bandwagon and takes dancing lessons... and a 'wine tasting' class! Meanwhile Michael is disappointed when he gets a B in an exam.
My Family
Series 4, Episode 3 - The Great EscapeNormally, nobody in the Harper family would willingly set foot in Nick's flat, but when Susan's mother comes to stay, it suddenly seems more attractive.
Shaun The Sheep
Series 2, Episode 9 - Supersize TimmyTimmy accidentally eats a tomato grown with Miracle-Grow fertilizer, and expands to become the King Kong of sheep. Shaun must keep the giant toddler out of sight while trying to figure out how to return him to normal size.
As Time Goes By
Series 4, Episode 3 - Getting Rid Of GwenJean comes up with a complicated plan to get rid of Mrs. Flack once and for all, whilst Alistair struggles to comprehend doing the precise opposite with Judith.
Strange Hill High
Series 2, Episode 11 - The MCDXX MenMitchell, Becky and Templeton discover a 15th Century band of superheroes in the school's basement. Unfortunately, they release Ye Olde Righteousness League's arch-nemesis...
One Foot In The Grave
Series 5, Episode 4 - Hole In The SkyMargaret's in for a number of shocks as Victor helps a young Dutch girl to get back on her feet and a pair of eccentric builders arrive to embark on a loft conversion.
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 13 - WrappingThe Twirlywoos see someone wrapping a present and get carried away trying to wrap things of their own. Back in the Boat, the Stop-Go Car brings them a long scarf that they all get wrapped up in.
Steptoe And Son
Series 7, Episode 4 - Live Now, PAYE LaterAlbert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 4, Episode 6 - Please Mind Your HeadHyacinth and Richard spend their first night in their new weekend retreat. But plans to become part of the "country set" go horribly wrong as the apartment proves a little on the "bijou" side.
Room 101
Series 2, Episode 4 - Deborah Meaden, Paloma Faith, Jason ManfordDragon's Den star Deborah Meaden, singer Paloma Faith and stand-up Jason Manford nominate people who use the phrase "all due respect", Fifty Shades of Grey and Lush into Room 101.
Birds Of A Feather
Series 2, Episode 1 - Getting A GripOverdue bills lead to the electricity being cut off. Garth has been fighting in school and the central heating is leaking. Roll on two useless plumbers, a pair of female plumbers who botch it up and one who couldn't give a firm time arriving just as the house begins to flood.
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 4, Episode 7 - Let There Be LightRichard shows that he has a way with electricity when he is pressed into service at the church hall.
Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?
Series 1, Episode 5 - I'll Never Forget What's-Her-Name?After hearing Terry trying to pick up with some old flames from an out of date address book, Bob decides to help him meet somebody new and, while he's about it, teach him some new chat up lines as well.
Shaun The Sheep
Series 2, Episode 10 - Lock OutWhile preparing for bed, the farmer manages to lock himself out of the house and is stuck outside in his pyjamas. He decides to spend the night in the barn but his incessant snoring drives the flock mad. Shaun concocts a plan to return him to his bed without waking him up.
Spot Bots
Episode 3 - Zoing BoingsCubi and Lexi struggle to keep their wheels on the ground when they discover a patch of bouncy zoing boings.
Dennis The Menace & Gnasher
CBBC series based on the popular Beano comic character Dennis and his dog, Gnasher.
To The Manor Born
Series 2, Episode 5Unfortunately for Richard, his latest attempt to overhaul the workings of the estate farm and improve its throughput happen to coincide with Marjory and Audrey's being on a kick of 'countryside conservancy'.
Would I Lie To You?
Series 9, Episode 6This week the guests joining Lee Mack and David Mitchell are Richard Hammond, Sean Lock, Judy Murray and Trevor Noah.
Yes Minister
Series 2, Episode 6 - The Quality Of LifeAfter visiting a City Farm threatened by closure, Jim rashly promises to keep it open. Unfortunately for Hacker, he's unaware of a particularly important merchant bank's plans for high-rise offices on the site, and is thrown into a conflict of interests.
Gigglebiz
Series 4, Episode 14Keith Fitt discovers how difficult it is being a newsreader, while loveable Humphrey enters a village show.
To The Manor Born
Series 2, Episode 6Richard plans a skiing holiday, but with his mother ill and Audrey having put her back out, will he ever leave? He's just got to learn how to ski first!
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 23 - FleabagOn Valentine's Day Max has a secret date, but Gark reads his mind and learns his plans. When Max gets fleas just before the date Max shrinks himself to eliminate them but instead causes chaos.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 26 - Taxi BeanMr Bean takes a taxi to his local toy shop, but a dodgy cabbie thinks he can take Bean for a ride. After a mix-up Mr Bean finds himself driving the taxi.
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 24 - HumanoidGark convinces Max Betty is lonely and they should find her a man. Then Gark decides making her one would be better. Throckmorton downloads into the humanoid and he and Betty fall in love!
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 5, Episode 6 - A Marriage Of InconvenienceAs René's wedding approaches, Edith grows increasingly wistful for their past together. Unknown to René, she plots with Michelle - for the good of the Resistance, naturally - to take Denise's place at the altar.
In Loving Memory
Series 3, Episode 5 - Gone But Not ForgottenOn a day trip to the seaside with Auntie Ivy, Billy gets into a spot of trouble and floats far out to sea in a coffin he's using as a boat. Soon long out of sight, Ivy believes him drowned and returns home to organise a fitting memorial service.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 27 - Muscle BeanMr Bean needs to impress Irma, who is infatuated with the hunky deliveryman. Bean tries to improve his physique at the gym, but has little success. Instead he opts for an inflatable muscle suit.
Millie Inbetween
Series 3, Episode 10 - PlaydateMum and Mike plan a half-term caravan holiday, but the kids rebel. When the holiday is cancelled Millie arranges a 'playdate' for them over at Dad and Amber's.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 29, Episode 7 - In Which Romance Isn't Dead - Just IncompetentBarry has a lonely neighbour on his hands and takes it upon himself to find him a girlfriend. But who, and how?
Rising Damp
Series 3, Episode 4 - The Good SamaritansWhen a new lodger arrives at the house with talk of only staying one night before "moving on", Rigsby's soon calling the Samaritans to stop a suicide attempt. But which of the residents will come off worse?
Desmond's
Series 4, Episode 3 - Growing PainsLee wonders who his parents are. Meanwhile, Michael takes Spanish lessons from Mandy.
Go Jetters
Series 1, Episode 39 - The Great Barrier Reef, AustraliaThe team dives into action as Glitch's treasure hunt endangers the Great Barrier Reef.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 29, Episode 8 - The Mischievous Tinkle In Howard's EyesHoward discovers there are better ways than the mobile phone to contact other nature-lovers - and quite openly, too.
On The Buses
Series 3, Episode 12 - The SqueezeMoney is tight at home, so both Arthur and Stan investigate ways of increasing their income. Arthur's been repairing his motorbike and the pair wonder if there's someone out there gullible enough to buy it.
Steptoe And Son
Series 7, Episode 4 - Live Now, PAYE LaterAlbert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.
My Family
Series 4, Episode 2 - They Shoot Harpers, Don't They?When Roger shows some talent at acting, Susan decides to jump on the bandwagon and takes dancing lessons... and a 'wine tasting' class! Meanwhile Michael is disappointed when he gets a B in an exam.
Room 101
Series 2, Episode 5 - Mel Giedroyc, Hugh Dennis, Cilla BlackOne half of Mel & Sue, one half of Punt & Dennis, and all of Cilla Black try to cast parent and toddler fun groups, Las Vegas and knickers into Room 101.
Scream Street
Series 1, Episode 39 - Uncle MemphisCleo tries to smarten Niles up and ends up replacing his bandages with those of his evil brother Uncle Memphis, who always thought he should have been the pharaoh instead of Niles. Memphis plans to take over Niles' body forever.
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 23 - FleabagOn Valentine's Day Max has a secret date, but Gark reads his mind and learns his plans. When Max gets fleas just before the date Max shrinks himself to eliminate them but instead causes chaos.
Shaun The Sheep
Series 1, Episode 11 - The KiteWhat's more fun than a kite on a windy afternoon? Nothing when Shaun and pals are concerned.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 22, Episode 10 - The Coming Of The BeastTruly tells Billy Ingleton that there is a tiger on the loose.
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 4, Episode 6 - Please Mind Your HeadHyacinth and Richard spend their first night in their new weekend retreat. But plans to become part of the "country set" go horribly wrong as the apartment proves a little on the "bijou" side.
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 24 - HumanoidGark convinces Max Betty is lonely and they should find her a man. Then Gark decides making her one would be better. Throckmorton downloads into the humanoid and he and Betty fall in love!
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 9 - Welcome To Danger World!Danger Mouse must fight his own urge to be awesome to stop the world turning into a gigantic intergalactic tourist attraction.
As Time Goes By
Series 4, Episode 3 - Getting Rid Of GwenJean comes up with a complicated plan to get rid of Mrs. Flack once and for all, whilst Alistair struggles to comprehend doing the precise opposite with Judith.
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 4, Episode 7 - Let There Be LightRichard shows that he has a way with electricity when he is pressed into service at the church hall.
Would I Lie To You?
Series 9, Episode 7This week the guests joining Lee Mack and David Mitchell are Jack Dee, Romesh Ranganathan, Gaby Roslin and Tinchy Stryder.
Marley's Ghosts
Series 2, Episode 3 - Blind SidedA courtroom drama causes Marley to try and be a better person, but showing emotion doesn't prove easy. Meanwhile a new ghost in town offers Adam, Michael and the Vicar a chance of a new life away from Marley.
Would I Lie To You?
Series 9, Episode 4This week the guests joining Lee Mack and David Mitchell are Alan Davies, Richard Osman, Professor Germaine Greer and Jermaine Jenas.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 26 - Taxi BeanMr Bean takes a taxi to his local toy shop, but a dodgy cabbie thinks he can take Bean for a ride. After a mix-up Mr Bean finds himself driving the taxi.
Marley's Ghosts
Series 2, Episode 4 - The Art TeacherMarley and Adam go to war over her determination to find someone actually alive to love. Meanwhile, a surprise nude painting causes problems for the gang.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 27 - Muscle BeanMr Bean needs to impress Irma, who is infatuated with the hunky deliveryman. Bean tries to improve his physique at the gym, but has little success. Instead he opts for an inflatable muscle suit.
Monty Python's Personal Best
Episode 4 - Terry GilliamA look at a colourful collage of Terry Gilliam's weirdly wonderful animations.
Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?
Series 1, Episode 5 - I'll Never Forget What's-Her-Name?After hearing Terry trying to pick up with some old flames from an out of date address book, Bob decides to help him meet somebody new and, while he's about it, teach him some new chat up lines as well.
Celebrity Advice Bureau
Episode 2Entertaining series in which celebrity advisers, including Louis Walsh, Fay Ripley, David Baddiel and Rick Edwards, offer their best advice for daily dilemmas.
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 11 (Channel 4: Series 12), Episode 4Jimmy Carr hosts the panel game with Sean Lock and Joe Wilkinson taking on Jon Richardson and Jayde Adams. David Baddiel joins Susie Dent in Dictionary Corner, while Rachel Riley looks after the numbers and letters.
Mrs. Brown's Boys
Series 2, Episode 6 - New MammyThere's bickering aplenty in the Brown household. Betty is upset with Mark, Rory and Dino are squabbling and Agnes and Betty rub each other up the wrong way.
A Hole Lot Of Trouble
Half-hour comedy short centring around workmen digging a hole.
Yes Minister
Series 2, Episode 6 - The Quality Of LifeAfter visiting a City Farm threatened by closure, Jim rashly promises to keep it open. Unfortunately for Hacker, he's unaware of a particularly important merchant bank's plans for high-rise offices on the site, and is thrown into a conflict of interests.
Someone Else
Comedy drama starring Stephen Mangan as a photographer who who dumps his girlfriend for another girl, only to find the latter doesn't want him.
The Rebel
Series 1, Episode 1 - LawFollowing a reluctant visit to see his doctor, Henry witnesses a robbery and gives chase - only to be accused of homophobia by a do-gooder policeman, whom he then assaults!
Urban Myths: When Cary Grant Introduced Timothy Leary To LSD
A comedy drama based upon Cary Grant's LSD-taking.
Crackanory
Series 4, Episode 8 - PickledA down on his luck former aristocrat who squanders away his fortune stumbles upon an old house with a mysterious inhabitant. Narrated by Miriam Margolyes, written by Kevin Eldon.
Parenting For Idiots
Episode 2 - FunThe second episode takes a humorous look at the various ways parents attempt to ensure their children have fun, from arts and crafts to clubs and hobbies and the big day out.
Chewing Gum
Series 2, Episode 5 - Road TripTracey and Ola crash Aaron and Candice's "meet the parents" weekend away.
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 5, Episode 6 - A Marriage Of InconvenienceAs René's wedding approaches, Edith grows increasingly wistful for their past together. Unknown to René, she plots with Michelle - for the good of the Resistance, naturally - to take Denise's place at the altar.
Psychobitches
Series 1, Episode 3Liz Taylor devours a chocolate éclair before discussing her two marriages to Richard Burton.
Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled
Series 3, Episode 3Alan is joined by Aisling Bea, Justin Moorhouse, Jo Enright and Jim Moir (Vic Reeves) to discuss such varied subjects as living without central heating, performing stand-up at weddings and mansions, stories of stealing, befriending old men, Jim's working with pigs experiences and being star-struck.
Chewing Gum
Series 2, Episode 6 - Age Ain't Nothing But A NumberCynthia's lost her virginity, but is Tracey really comfortable that she got there first?
Peep Show
Series 1, Episode 4 - Mark Makes A FriendMark attends a work conference and in the process makes a new friend, Alan Johnson, which upsets the 'El Dude' partnership.
The Chris Ramsey Show
Series 1, Episode 5This week, Tom Rosenthal and Tez Ilyas roast members of the audience and play a game of Mario Kart whilst trying not to get electrocuted. TOWIE's Ferne McCann helps one lucky lady find a date on the 11.21 train from London to Newcastle.
Peep Show
Series 1, Episode 5 - Dream JobMark is up for promotion at work, but loses out to Sophie. Jez starts a new job at the music studio Super-Hands works at, although he's only allowed to work on reception.
Absolutely Fabulous
Series 2, Episode 4 - New Best FriendPatsy finds herself displaced as Edina tidies the house in preparation for old friends Bettina and Max, renowned for their minamilist design concepts, to come and stay.
Mock The Week
A selection of three episodes of the satirical panel game.
Car Trouble
Comedy about a man who falls in love with his new Jaguar sports-car, and his wife who falls in love with the salesman.
W1A
Series 1, Episode 4A national paper publishes a story on how Ian took Sally Owen, his PA at the Olympic Deliverance Commission, on holiday to Italy.
Britain's Greatest Hoaxer
Documentary following prankster and comedian Simon Brodkin as he plans and executes a number of audacious stunts.
Love And Marriage
Episode 6When Pauline is invited to Paris by her new man, Ken realises it is time he accepted that things are over and started making changes. Out with the old and in with the new, but he soon realises that he doesn't like the new. Is it too late to get his old life back?
The Alternative Comedy Experience
Series 2, Episode 6 - KevinMaeve Higgins, Josie Long, Bridget Christie, Helen Keen, and Helen Arney conspire in the first ever all-female stand up show on TV, ruined only by backstage interviews with man Stewart Lee.
Crackanory
Series 4, Episode 8 - PickledA down on his luck former aristocrat who squanders away his fortune stumbles upon an old house with a mysterious inhabitant. Narrated by Miriam Margolyes, written by Kevin Eldon.
Spaced
A selection of episodes from the first and second series of the sitcom by and starring Simon Pegg and Jessica Hynes.
At-Issue
10 minute short film by stop-motion animator Drew Roper.
Peep Show
Series 1, Episode 4 - Mark Makes A FriendMark attends a work conference and in the process makes a new friend, Alan Johnson, which upsets the 'El Dude' partnership.
No Offence
Series 2, Episode 6With Deering suspended from duty, she runs rogue determined to get Nora. Back at the station, Lickberg tries to control the team, as they urgently up the manhunt for one of the Attahs' missing victims. And an unlikely alliance is agreed between Deering and Nora, who wants to stop an FGM cutter arriving on her patch - and Teegan is sent in under cover.
Jimmy Carr: Making People Laugh
Television broadcast of Jimmy Carr's sixth stand-up DVD.
Shooting Stars
A selection of episodes from the first series of the celebrity showbiz quiz.
Ross Noble Freewheeling
Series 2, Episode 5Inspired insanity with the biking Geordie. Where else on TV would you see arm-wrestling OAPs, crab-taunting and multiple Chris de Burghs? Marcus Brigstocke tries potato sports.
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 11, Highlights Special - Best BitsHilarious highlights from the latest series, hosted by Jimmy Carr with team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson. With guests Jack Dee, Jedward, Sarah Millican, Amy Childs, Micky Flanagan, Jack Whitehall, Charlie Brooker and Gok Wan.
The Alternative Comedy Experience
Series 2, Episode 5 - NerdsKevin Eldon shares tonight's bill with performance poet Paul Hamilton, Trevor Lock, Paul Foot, and superbly funny science nerd Helen Arney. Backstage interviews by Stewart Lee.