Television
TV schedule Thursday 12th May 2016
6am
(repeat)
Doctor At Large
Episode 25 - Things That Go Mump In The NightEven doctors need a doctor sometime, but when Upton falls ill, he needs Lawrence Bingham like a hole in the head. Added to his problems is the unbearable patient in the next bed. There is only one compensation - in the delectable shape of Nurse Parker!
6:20am
(repeat)
Justin's House
Series 3, Episode 16 - Robot Of The YearRobert is being judged for a special robot award but he is too nervous to pass all the tests, so Justin decides to take the tests for him.
6:45am
(repeat)
Nurse On Wheels
Comedy about a rural village's new district nurse and her romantic entanglements.
7:05am
(repeat)
Ripping Yarns
Series of comic plays written by Pythons Terry Jones and Michael Palin.
7:05am
(repeat)
Minder
Series 1, Episode 4 - A Tethered GoatArthur thinks he and Terry are due a bit of nice, easy money when he's approached about a 'babysitter' for a visiting Arab businessman. It soon transpires, however, that neither man is quite as he seems.
7:20am
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 2, Episode 9 - Supersize TimmyTimmy accidentally eats a tomato grown with Miracle-Grow fertilizer, and expands to become the King Kong of sheep. Shaun must keep the giant toddler out of sight while trying to figure out how to return him to normal size.
7:30am
(repeat)
Boj
Episode 29 - Puppet ShowBoj helps Mia to look after the Twitchlets, but they quickly get stuck putting on a never-ending puppet show! How can they get the Twitchlets to entertain themselves?
7:40am
(repeat)
As Time Goes By
Series 4, Episode 2 - RewritesThe executives in LA ask Lionel to spice up his script, but life working with Mrs Flack is proving ever-more difficult. Meanwhile, Judith feels thoroughly taken advantage of by Alistair.
8:20am
(repeat)
The Brittas Empire
Despite his ambition and good intentions, everything seems to go wrong at Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre when manager Gordon Brittas is around.
8:55am
(repeat)
Steptoe And Son
Series 7, Episode 6 - Divided We StandAlbert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.
8:55am
(repeat)
So Awkward
Series 1, Episode 10 - Rox My WorldThe girls have teamed up to enter a National Young Inventors competition.
9:20am
(repeat)
Roy
Series 1, Episode 12 - Halo GoodbyeWaking up with a halo above his head, Roy realises that he has even less control over his body than he had imagined. Now how to be rid of this embarrassing illumination?
9:25am
(repeat)
Wussywat The Clumsy Cat
Episode 8 - SandIrd has built a sandcastle and flits off to collect decorations for it.
9:35am
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 20th series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
9:35am
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 23 - More And MoreThe Twirlywoos learn more and more when they watch a shopkeeper build up a display of apples. Back in the boat, the Twirlywoo Screen creates a tree which gives more and more bananas every time the Twirlywoos touch it.
9:50am
(repeat)
Sooty
Series 2, Episode 12 - The Inventions GameSooty's latest Inventions take the gang onto a TV game show. Can they win over the show's judge, 'The Boss' or will Sweep throw a bone in the works? Guest starring John Thompson.
11am
(repeat)
Bless This House
Popular sitcom spin-off film starring Sid James, Terry Scott, Diana Coupland and June Whitfield.
12:10pm
(repeat)
So Awkward
Series 1, Episode 10 - Rox My WorldThe girls have teamed up to enter a National Young Inventors competition.
12:15pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 1, Episode 7 - The Awkward PhaseWhile Susan is clearing out everyone's old clothes for charity, Michael worries about what to do on a date and so gets advice from Nick!
12:55pm
(repeat)
Outnumbered
Series 5, Episode 1The Brockman family find themselves confronted with a new set of challenges, as the sitcom returns for a final series.
1pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 31, Episode 5 - Look Whose Wheel's Come OffGlenda sends a reluctant Barry off to paint a nice view, to take his mind off wanting to eat.
1:25pm
(repeat)
Wussywat The Clumsy Cat
Episode 8 - SandIrd has built a sandcastle and flits off to collect decorations for it.
1:35pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 5 - Ways And MeansAfter offering advice to fellow fishing-net "knitter" McLaren on curbing his short temper, Fletch attempts to make amends with the governor when McLaren forgoes angry outbursts for a more peaceful rooftop protest.
1:35pm
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 23 - More And MoreThe Twirlywoos learn more and more when they watch a shopkeeper build up a display of apples. Back in the boat, the Twirlywoo Screen creates a tree which gives more and more bananas every time the Twirlywoos touch it.
1:40pm
(repeat)
Bread
Series 6, Episode 5Billy's van has been broken in to and Joey's new shop has been vandalised - the culprits are unknown. Aveline has decided to leave Oswald and return home to her mother, with her baby. The sibling rivalry over Leonora comes to a head when Jack tells Adrian that he has slept with her...
2pm
(repeat)
Spare A Copper
War comedy starring George Formby.
2:20pm
(repeat)
Birds Of A Feather
Series 9, Episode 5 - NuptialsAs the day of Garth's wedding dawns, a depressed Dorien informs Sharon and Tracey that she has no intention of attending the ceremony. Then Darryl's father Les arrives and suggests that he should move in with them.
2:20pm
(repeat)
As Time Goes By
Series 4, Episode 2 - RewritesThe executives in LA ask Lionel to spice up his script, but life working with Mrs Flack is proving ever-more difficult. Meanwhile, Judith feels thoroughly taken advantage of by Alistair.
3pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 2, Episode 20 - In The DoghouseBitzer's kennel is accidentally destroyed and the canny canine hopes the farmer will replace it with a new deluxe model. But when he sees his master's clumsy attempt to build a new kennel, Bitzer is so horrified that he packs his bags and leaves home. Shaun, however, hopes to tempt Bitzer to return with the kennel of his dreams.
3:05pm
(repeat)
The Brittas Empire
Despite his ambition and good intentions, everything seems to go wrong at Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre when manager Gordon Brittas is around.
3:10pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 1, Episode 1 - Off The Baa!When a cabbage bounces into the field from a passing truck, Shaun and his pals decide to use it as a football, with little help from the pigs!
3:20pm
(repeat)
Zig And Zag
Episode 13 - Bitter Then YouZig and Zag demonstrate how breaking a world record can be a bittersweet experience.
3:30pm
(repeat)
Timmy Time
Spin-off from Shaun The Sheep for the CBeebies channel, featuring Timmy the baby lamb and his friends.
3:40pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 20th series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
3:40pm
(repeat)
4:15pm
(repeat)
Doctor At Large
Episode 26 - Mr. MoonAfter suffering a bout of mumps, Upton decides to invite himself to stay with Stuart-Clark now that he is working at a health farm. He hasn't bargained for Mr. Moon who is in charge of the place - he has an aversion to meat, indiscipline and doctors!
4:30pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 51 - Treasure!In a dark and cobwebby corner of his attic, Mr Bean finds a treasure map. But tricky clues lead Bean up the chimney, round the bend, down the garden path, up the blinking wall and nearly all the way to Australia!
4:30pm15 min
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 1 - Bin JuiceMax recounts the tale of how he and Gark became internationally famous.
4:30pm30 min
4 O'Clock Club
Series 5, Episode 12 - FlowerAn incredibly rare flower is discovered on the football pitch - but how long will it survive with the 4 O'Clock Club about?
4:45pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 52 - HomelessAfter a regrettable episode involving his landlady sleepwalking into his room, Mr Bean suddenly finds himself out on his ear with nowhere to live. Near to tears, he yearns for the cosy familiarity of his old home. But a scarecrow and a pair of false teeth come to his rescue.
4:45pm15 min
Counterfeit Cat
Episode 2 - Where Do All The Cat Toys Go?Max loses his favourite toy leading to him and Gark being engulfed in a rip in space time.
4:50pm
(repeat)
On The Buses
Series 5, Episode 4 - The Inspector's PetsIt's goodbye to the depot for a while for Blakey - he and his mum are going on holiday. But they can't find anyone to look after the dachshund and the tropical fish...
5:20pm
(repeat)
George & Mildred
Series 3, Episode 1 - Opportunity KnocksJerry appears at the Ropers' front door with a business proposition for George. It's one that he just cannot turn down - although he definitely should!
5:35pm
(repeat)
Gigglebiz
Series 4, Episode 23Rapids Johnson enjoys an ice cream on his search for the Ice Cream Bear and Storybook Stan is distracted by some chewy toffees. When an ice cream seller turns up, Ann Teak finds another use for an antique Viking helmet.
6pm
(repeat)
Birds Of A Feather
Series 6, Episode 7 - MovingSharon's two bedroom flat above the café becomes hot property. Both Dorien and Garth want to rent it out. After prospective buyers decide against purchasing Dorien's house, it looks like Tracey may sell hers and suddenly Sharon needs the flat herself.
6pm10 min
Zig And Zag
Episode 14 - It's Sherlucky DayZig and Zag become detectives to solve the case of the missing invisible cat of Burb Street.
6:20pm
(repeat)
Steptoe And Son
Series 7, Episode 6 - Divided We StandAlbert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.
6:40pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 31, Episode 5 - Look Whose Wheel's Come OffGlenda sends a reluctant Barry off to paint a nice view, to take his mind off wanting to eat.
6:45pm
(repeat)
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 11 - The Return Of Danger KWhen an old enemy returns, Colonel K must come out of retirement to save the world from an outbreak of rudeness.
7pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 1, Episode 7 - The Awkward PhaseWhile Susan is clearing out everyone's old clothes for charity, Michael worries about what to do on a date and so gets advice from Nick!
7pm
(repeat)
Horrible Histories
Series 2, Episode 11Barmy Roman emperor Caligula fails to invade Britain so collects seashells instead, King Henry VIII plays tennis while Anne Boleyn is executed, and some naughty Saxon monks throw a funky party.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 5, Episode 9Having lost out in a floral display competition, Hyacinth sets her sights on a new car and soon has Richard on a Rolls-Royce test drive.
7:40pm
(repeat)
Outnumbered
Series 5, Episode 1The Brockman family find themselves confronted with a new set of challenges, as the sitcom returns for a final series.
7:45pm
(repeat)
Nurse On Wheels
Comedy about a rural village's new district nurse and her romantic entanglements.
8pm
(repeat)
The Green Green Grass
Series 1, Episode 6 - Sex And The CountryMarlene discovers the farmhands concocting a virility potion for Rocky the bull, and manages to sneak a dose into husband Boycie's coffee. Tyler arouses suspicions when make-up is found in his room, and his parents are relieved to be told he has a girlfriend - until it transpires she's also his teacher.
8:20pm
(repeat)
Miranda
Series 1, Episode 2 - TeacherMiranda is rather British when it comes to sex, or shenanigans as she likes to call it. Trying to overcome her hang-ups she decides the way forward with Gary would be to create a romantic moment so he'll see her in a sexual light.
8:25pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 51 - Treasure!In a dark and cobwebby corner of his attic, Mr Bean finds a treasure map. But tricky clues lead Bean up the chimney, round the bend, down the garden path, up the blinking wall and nearly all the way to Australia!
8:40pm
(repeat)
Steptoe And Son
Series 8, Episode 1 - Back In FashionAlbert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.
8:40pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 52 - HomelessAfter a regrettable episode involving his landlady sleepwalking into his room, Mr Bean suddenly finds himself out on his ear with nowhere to live. Near to tears, he yearns for the cosy familiarity of his old home. But a scarecrow and a pair of false teeth come to his rescue.
9pm
(repeat)
Gavin & Stacey
Series 1, Episode 2After a huge misunderstanding on the phone, Stacey thinks Gavin has finished with her.
9pm
(repeat)
Bad Education
Series 2, Episode 5 - DrugsHeadmaster Mr Fraser has organised a special guest speaker for Drugs Awareness Day.
9pm
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 6 (Channel 4: Series 7), Episode 6Jimmy Carr hosts, while Sean Lock and Vic Reeves take on special guest captain Lee Mack with Sara Pascoe. Alex Horne and the Horne Section join with Susie Dent, while Rachel Riley takes care of the numbers and letters.
9pm60 min version (repeat)
9:20pm
(repeat)
Steptoe And Son
Series 8, Episode 2 - And So To BedAlbert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.
9:35pm60 min version (repeat)
Russell Howard's Good News
Topical stand-up comedy and chat show hosted by Russell Howard.
9:40pm
(repeat)
Not Going Out
A selection of episodes from the first and second series of the Lee Mack sitcom.
10pm
(repeat)
Open All Hours
Series 3, Episode 3 - Duet For Solo BicycleA squeak in the shop's bicycle is driving Granville round the bedn, but can it really be affecting his love-life?
10pm
(repeat)
May I Kill U?
Dark comedy film in which Kevin Bishop stars as a cycling policeman who starts killing criminals instead of arresting them.
10pm
(repeat)
Mock The Week
Series 13, Episode 6Dara O Briain and the team put the week's events under their comedy microscope and examine the results with guests Ed Byrne, Milton Jones, Russell Kane and Zoe Lyons.
10pm
(repeat)
Would I Lie To You?
Series 7, Episode 5In this episode, David Mitchell is joined by Susan Calman and Richard Osman, and Lee Mack is joined by Carol Kirkwood and David O'Doherty.
10pm60 min
Celebrity Juice
Series 15, Episode 9Joining the panel this week are Strictly judge Craig Revel Horwood, TV royalty Eamonn Holmes and comedian Chris Ramsey.
10pm
(repeat)
The Windsors
Series 1, Episode 1Prince Charles tries to keep his family in order, but Wills wants to mingle with the people.
10:30pm30 min
The Increasingly Poor Decisions Of Todd Margaret
Series 3, Episode 5 - The Poor Decisions Of Todd Margaret Part 2Todd lands in the hospital and crashes a car into Alice's restaurant. He tries to get back to Portland before his dream comes to completion.
10:30pm
(repeat)
The Windsors
Series 1, Episode 2Beatrice and Eugenie's new careers as internet make-up sensations are dashed.
10:40pm
(repeat)
Open All Hours
Series 3, Episode 4 - How To Ignite Your Errand BoyArkwright's plan to make his own fire lighters has a snag, they may be somewhat dangerous to make...Oh well, Granville is not busy...
10:40pm
(repeat)
Would I Lie To You?
Series 7, Episode 1In this episode, Lee and David are joined by Rhod Gilbert, Vernon Kay, Dara O Briain and Denise Van Outen.
10:50pm30 min
@elevenish
Episode 9Jamie Demetriou seeks out insults on the street; Jack Carroll pitches some new shows; Ivo Graham talks about Leicester City Football Club; and the team have their own take on YouTube pranksters.
11pm
(repeat)
The IT Crowd
Series 1, Episode 5 - The Haunting Of Bill CrouseMoss goes to extraordinary lengths to help Jen escape the unwanted attention of potential suitor Bill Crouse. Meanwhile, Roy is busy trying to escape the attentions of an admirer of his own...
11:20pm
(repeat)
The Green Green Grass
Series 2, Episode 1 - Testing TimesSleepless nights, confusion over chemicals and an EU farm inspection - just a normal day on the farm for Boycie and Marlene.... until Boycie loses his hair!
11:20pm
(repeat)
QI
A selection of four episodes of the world's cleverest and most interesting panel game.
11:35pm
(repeat)
The IT Crowd
Series 1, Episode 6 - Aunt Irma VisitsJen explains that she is subject to very powerful mood swings around a certain time every month.
Midnight50 min version (repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 11, Episode 9The boys and their guests thrash out the hot topics of the week by examining surveys, opinion polls and statistics; from the silly to the serious, from celebrity gossip to world politics. With guests Nick Grimshaw, Rachel Riley, Peter Serafinowicz and Daniel Sloss.
12:10am
(repeat)
Birds Of A Feather
Series 6, Episode 7 - MovingSharon's two bedroom flat above the café becomes hot property. Both Dorien and Garth want to rent it out. After prospective buyers decide against purchasing Dorien's house, it looks like Tracey may sell hers and suddenly Sharon needs the flat herself.
12:30am
(repeat)
Britannia Hospital
Black comedy satirising the NHS and early-1980s British society.
12:50am50 min version (repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 11, Episode 8This edition of the show sees Jimmy Carr, Sean Lock and Jon Richardson joined by Rhod Gilbert, Sarah Millican, Gregg Wallace and Kate Silverton to debate the hot topics of the week by examining surveys, opinion polls and statistics; from the silly to the serious, from celebrity gossip to world politics.
1:20am
(repeat)
Plebs
Series 3, Episode 7 - The New MasterWhen Grumio injures another slave in a fight over a carrot, he is forced to replace him until he recovers. And so he joins a new household where work is taken seriously. Marcus invites Delphine to move in. But can she bond with Stylax?
1:30am
(repeat)
The Alternative Comedy Experience
Series 1, Episode 8 - Shouty BollocksHenning Wehn talks royalty, Tony Law tells his new joke and there's original comedy from Eleanor Tiernan, Boothby Graffoe, Simon Munnery and interviews by Stewart Lee.
1:50am
(repeat)
@elevenish
Episode 9Jamie Demetriou seeks out insults on the street; Jack Carroll pitches some new shows; Ivo Graham talks about Leicester City Football Club; and the team have their own take on YouTube pranksters.
2:10am
(repeat)
Desmond's
A selection of episodes from the first series of Channel 4's longest-running sitcom.
2:10am
(repeat)
Not Going Out
Series 1, Episode 5 - KidKate and Lee are forced to take in a lodger, a surly 14-year-old boy called Nicky.
2:20am
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 9, Episode 6This week's guests are Carol Vorderman, David O'Doherty, John Bishop and Peter Serafinowicz.
2:30am
(repeat)
Seann Walsh Live: Seann To Be Wild
A TV broadcast of Seann Walsh's stand-up DVD.
2:40am
(repeat)
Not Going Out
Series 1, Episode 6 - CaretakerLee finally manages to get a job, as a caretaker. But taking up the new post involves moving out of the flat.
2:55am
(repeat)
At Home With The Braithwaites
Comedy drama about the Leeds Braithwaite family, whose lives are changed when mum wins £36 million on the lottery.
3:10am
(repeat)
Vic Reeves Big Night Out
Cult comedy in which Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer present some very surreal comedy.
3:35am
(repeat)
Rex The Runt
Claymation sitcom from Aardman Animations. The ten minute episodes revolve around the lives of four dogs - Rex, Bad Bob, Wendy and Vince.