Television
TV schedule Thursday 17th December 2015
6am
(repeat)
Lazybones
Reg is expected to marry a wealthy American but she has been swindled and is penniless.
6:20am
(repeat)
George & Mildred
Series 5, Episode 4 - A Driving AmbitionAfter seeing her in a car in town with another man, George suspects that Mildred may be having an affair and sets out to bring some romance back to their lives.
7am
(repeat)
dinnerladies
Series 2, Episode 1 - CateringIt's Friday 9th April 1999, the date to conceive a 'millennium baby'. Whilst Tony attempts to humour a rather dim-witted work-experience girl, Bren's main concern is having workmen in to paint the canteen without closing for the duration.
7:30am
(repeat)
The Thin Blue Line
Series 2, Christmas Special - The Green Eyed MonsterFowler is battling Grim for promotion, who tells him that he needs to be married to be promoted. Raymond proposes to Patricia but in such an unromantic way that she leaves him. Goody and Boyle take Fowler for a night on the town to cheer him up but they choose the same place that Habib has taken Patricia.
7:45am
(repeat)
Minder
Series 3, Episode 6 - Another Bride, Another GroomThe shady dealings of a loveable rogue. The last thing Arthur wants to do on his niece's wedding day is shift a consignment of pornographic magazines.
7:45am
(repeat)
Horrible Histories
Series 5, Highlights SpecialSome of history's greatest characters serenade us with tales of their lives. Featuring the all-conquering Alexander the Great, the cash-loving Crassus, the feisty Joan of Arc, the brilliant but miserable Charles Dickens, and the very determined Rosa Parks.
8am
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 3, Episode 5 - Relative StrangersPorkpie is earning a little pin money by helping out at the barber shop and the first customer he meets turns out to be his long lost daughter Denise, now a medical student, who hasn't seen her father for twenty years.
8am
(repeat)
Monarch Of The Glen
Series 5, Episode 9Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.
8am
(repeat)
The Two Ronnies
Christmas Special - Christmas Night with the Two RonniesHugely popular and long-running sketch show that established Ronnie Corbett and Ronnie Barker as two of the biggest names in British comedy.
8:20am
(repeat)
Wussywat The Clumsy Cat
Episode 22 - RainbowWussywat wants to find the start of a rainbow, but when it starts to fade he decides to make his own from different coloured objects.
8:25am
(repeat)
Timmy Time
Spin-off from Shaun The Sheep for the CBeebies channel, featuring Timmy the baby lamb and his friends.
8:50am
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 27, Christmas Special - A Tale Of Two SweatersHoward finds himself in deep water when he is given jumpers from both Pearl and Marina for Christmas.
9:30am
(repeat)
Open All Hours
Series 2, Episode 6 - Shedding At The WeddingArkwright's wedding suit smells of mothballs. Hanging his trousers out of Gladys' car was never going to be a good idea...
9:35am
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 4 - UpThe Twirlywoos are in a back garden where they watch a man hanging washing up on a line. Chickedy and Chick get into the washing basket and the man accidentally pegs them up on the line too! The Twirlywoos are having tea, but the tea table is misbehaving. It keeps going further and further up, propelling Great BigHoo and Toodloo all the way out of the top of the boat!
9:45am
(repeat)
4 O'Clock Files
Episode 4 - ImaginationMr Bell focuses on the school's ongoing mission to 'imagine the impossible and make it happen'.
10am
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 3, Episode 8 - Driving Me CrazyIt's a testing time for Michael and Patricia when she decides to take a holiday without him. And Desmond is encouraged to take his driving test again, with disastrous consequences.
10am
(repeat)
The Darling Buds Of May
Comedy drama series about H.E. Bates's eccentric Larkin family.
10:10am
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 2, Episode 6 - The Harder They FallGodber has reached the inter-wing boxing tournament finals and is a favourite to win. However, for Grouty's gambling syndicate, the opportunity to make a profit outweighs any concern for following the Marquess of Queensberry rules.
10:30am
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 3, Episode 9 - DaydreamsDesmond catches Shirley looking at house brochures, and despite her assurances that she was just allowing herself a little daydream, insists that the Ambroses will not move until they retire to Guyana.
10:50am
(repeat)
dinnerladies
Series 2, Episode 2 - TroubleJean's husband leaves her for a dental assistant in south Wales, and her colleagues feel the force of her frustration and anger. Meanwhile, Petula has a more-than-slightly surprising announcement to make.
11am
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 1 - Home MovieBean attempts to make his own home movie - a horror thriller with Mrs Wicket as the star!
11:15am
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 2 - Fish SittingMr Bean has to look after Mrs Wicket's goldfish, but Scrapper the cat is keen to help.
11:30am
(repeat)
The Green Green Grass
Series 3, Special - The Special RelationshipBoycie is asked to turn detective when an unexpected visitor arrives at Winterdown Farm with a secret from the past that, if confirmed, will have massive consequences for one member of the staff.
12:55pm
(repeat)
Steptoe And Son
Series 7, Christmas SpecialAlbert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.
1pm
(repeat)
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 6, Episode 9 - Flash, Bang, WallopGary has to take drastic measures to make sure that a compromising photograph from the 1940s is not seen in the present day.
1pm
(repeat)
Minder
Series 3, Episode 7 - The Birdman Of Wormwood ScrubsEx-con Ernie leaves prison after fourteen years with a quarter of a million stashed away in a bank. Enter the ever-helpful Arthur.
1:25pm
(repeat)
4 O'Clock Files
Episode 4 - ImaginationMr Bell focuses on the school's ongoing mission to 'imagine the impossible and make it happen'.
1:35pm
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 4 - UpThe Twirlywoos are in a back garden where they watch a man hanging washing up on a line. Chickedy and Chick get into the washing basket and the man accidentally pegs them up on the line too! The Twirlywoos are having tea, but the tea table is misbehaving. It keeps going further and further up, propelling Great BigHoo and Toodloo all the way out of the top of the boat!
1:40pm
(repeat)
To The Manor Born
Series 3, Episode 2The local railway station, Marlbury, is faced with closure, and Audrey's damned if she'll let that happen without a fight. Unfortunately, Richard's got his eye on the site for his new cash-and-carry.
2pm
(repeat)
The Ghost Of St. Michael's
Will Hay comedy.
2pm
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
1996 Christmas Trilogy, Christmas Special - Time On Our HandsThis third 1996 special was at the time thought to be last that would be made. Rodney's doing a stock take in the garage and has found an artificial leg, some Showaddywaddy LPs and an old watch. They get the watch valued and get just a little shock when it sells at Sotherby's for £6.2 million pounds. After all these years their finally millionaires!
2:20pm
(repeat)
2:30pm
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 2, Episode 11 - Kung YouWhen Shirl's friend Beverley is attacked in the street, the girls enlist the help of a local martial arts teacher to give them a self-defence class.
2:45pm
(repeat)
2:50pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 2, Christmas Special - We Wish Ewe A Merry ChristmasShaun discovers that the farmer will be spending Christmas Day alone. The animals work through the night festooning the farmhouse with decorations, so that the farmer wakes up to the most magical Christmas he has ever experienced.
2:55pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 2, Episode 32 - Operation PidsleyWhile the farmer is away on a night out, the sheep sneak into the farmhouse for a party. But when Pidsley snaps a photograph of the fun and games, Shaun and Bitzer need to catch the malicious moggy before he can show the incriminating evidence to the farmer.
3pm
(repeat)
Monarch Of The Glen
Series 5, Episode 9Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.
3pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 3 - The CruiseBean wins two tickets for an exotic cruise and takes Teddy along for the trip of a lifetime. While showing off to a new friend, Bean goes overboard and is stranded on a desert island.
3:15pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 4 - Coconut ShyMr Bean hopes to win some cash prizes at the funfair, but it is not as easy as it seems!
3:20pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 27, Christmas Special - A Tale Of Two SweatersHoward finds himself in deep water when he is given jumpers from both Pearl and Marina for Christmas.
3:25pm15 min
Scream Street
Series 1, Episode 12 - Zombie DerbyEvery year Scream Street stages a Zombie Derby. Tensions rise when Luke teams up with Resus's dad and Resus with Luke's mum.
3:40pm
(repeat)
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 2 - Danger At C LevelPenfold has had enough of being tied up, blown up and walloped and needs a holiday.
3:55pm
(repeat)
Boj
Episode 36 - Gavin's Got TalentThe buddies put on a talent show. But when Gavin's act - the mega-robo dancer 64i -doesn't work, the show can't go on. Boj persuades Gavin that he has his own special talent.
4pm
(repeat)
Open All Hours
Series 2, Episode 7 - St Albert's DayArkwright invents a Saint's day so that Granville can check the pockets of a foreign visitor who he suspects of shoplifting.
4:30pm30 min
Millie Inbetween
Series 2, Christmas Special - Craig Come HomeIt's Christmas - a time for the family to be together. But Craig, sick of being constantly criticised, decides to move back to his mum's for a while.
4:40pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 3, Episode 5 - A Test Of CharacterGodber's History O Level exams are a few days away. Fletcher enlists the help of Warren and McLaren to steal the exam paper - if Godber is so determined to pass, Fletch's going to make sure he's well prepared before he enters the exam room.
4:55pm
(repeat)
On The Buses
Series 5, Episode 10 - Stan's UniformWhen Stan's uniform is covered in filth by a blocked drain, he concocts a plan to get the company to pay for a new one. Somehow it works - but Arthur's been repainting the kitchen furniture...
5:20pm
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
Series 7, Episode 5 - He Ain't Heavy, He's My UncleUncle Albert has been mugged and Del is determined to bring the perpetrators to justice. But is Uncle Albert telling all he knows...?
5:25pm
(repeat)
George & Mildred
Series 5, Episode 5 - A Military PickleGeorge's brother Charlie drops by after not seeing him for more than 20 years. Amongst the surprises he has in store is a rather late letter!
5:30pm30 min
All At Sea
Series 2, Christmas SpecialIt's Christmas in Scarborough and Charlie, keen to make money, goes into business as a shopping mall Santa - but can he avoid the anger of local parents and disappointed children? Meanwhile, Hannah is dating a new boy because he gives very expensive Christmas presents, and Louie thinks Santa is a dangerous criminal.
5:35pm
(repeat)
My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.
5:35pm
(repeat)
The Darling Buds Of May
Comedy drama series about H.E. Bates's eccentric Larkin family.
6pm
(repeat)
To The Manor Born
Series 3, Episode 2The local railway station, Marlbury, is faced with closure, and Audrey's damned if she'll let that happen without a fight. Unfortunately, Richard's got his eye on the site for his new cash-and-carry.
6:40pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 29, Episode 7 - In Which Romance Isn't Dead - Just IncompetentBarry has a lonely neighbour on his hands and takes it upon himself to find him a girlfriend. But who, and how?
7pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 9, Christmas Special - 2039: A Christmas OddityIt is December 2039, and the Harpers are gathering together to celebrate Christmas. With a 'greed gift exchange', a rival cousin and a Nativity play battle, there may not be too much room for peace and goodwill.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 6, Episode 9 - Flash, Bang, WallopGary has to take drastic measures to make sure that a compromising photograph from the 1940s is not seen in the present day.
8pm
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 3, Episode 9 - DaydreamsDesmond catches Shirley looking at house brochures, and despite her assurances that she was just allowing herself a little daydream, insists that the Ambroses will not move until they retire to Guyana.
8pm
(repeat)
A League Of Their Own
Series 7, Out-takes - Unseen Vol 1The final whistle may have blown on the panel show's seventh series, but these unseen clips of James Corden and co are sure to keep the laughs coming.
8pm
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 2, Episode 11 - Kung YouWhen Shirl's friend Beverley is attacked in the street, the girls enlist the help of a local martial arts teacher to give them a self-defence class.
8:15pm
(repeat)
The Vicar Of Dibley
2006/2007 Specials, Christmas Special - The Handsome StrangerYet another Dibley cottage has been sold to a Londoner, and Geraldine's not happy about the breakdown of the community. Setting out to confront the new stranger, she is struck by his immediate charm and good looks - but is he all he seems?
8:30pm
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 3, Episode 10 - DobbinWhen kids smash a window in the barber shop Desmond is furious at first, but, realising that they have nowhere to play, sets out to get the council to renovate the playground.
9pm
(repeat)
Da Ali G Show
Episode 4Sacha Baron Cohen provides an inimitable mix of global reportage and celebrity chat via his characters Ali G, Borat and Bruno.
9pm
(repeat)
Trollied
Series 5, Episode 7While Gavin frets about his relationship, Katie is tasked with the tough challenge of training the staff to recognise which fruits are which.
9pm
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 16, Christmas SpecialJimmy Carr oversees the disputes and deliberations on the festive topics that set the great British public's chins wagging. Jon Richardson and Sean Lock are joined by Holly Willoughby, Henning Wehn, Alan Davies, Nick Helm, Roisin Conaty and Joe Wilkinson.
9pm60 min version (repeat)
9pm
(repeat)
Live At The Apollo
Series 8, Episode 1 - Dara O'Briain, Nina Conti, Danny BhoyDara O'Briain hosts the first in a new series. He introduces ventriloquist Nina Conti and the irrepressible Danny Bhoy to the stage.
9pm60 min
What A Performance! Pioneers Of Popular Entertainment
Episode 3 - Variety Finds A New HomeIn episode three, Frank and Suzy explore variety's move to television and increasing competition from other sources.
9pm
(repeat)
Paul
Sci-fi comedy starring Nick Frost and Simon Pegg as friends who chance upon an alien whilst travelling across the US.
9:30pm
(repeat)
Bo' Selecta!
Sketch comedy series starring Leigh Francis as Avid Merrion, Transylvania's biggest celebrity fan.
9:30pm
(repeat)
Outnumbered
Christmas Special - 2012 Christmas SpecialThe Brockman family have decided to foster a sense of community by throwing a Christmas party for their neighbours.
9:30pm
(repeat)
Live At The Apollo
Series 8, Episode 6 - Greg Davies, Hal Cruttenden, Simon EvansGreg Davies hosts the stand-up comedy show, with sets from Hal Cruttenden and Simon Evans too.
10pm
(repeat)
Bo' Selecta!
Sketch comedy series starring Leigh Francis as Avid Merrion, Transylvania's biggest celebrity fan.
10pm
(repeat)
Open All Hours
A selection of episodes from the second and third series of the cornershop sitcom.
10pm60 min
10pm30 min
Russell Howard's Good News
Series 10, Highlights SpecialIn this final episode, Russell offers up all the best bits from the current series of Good News, alongside previously unseen material.
10pm
(repeat)
The Best Possible Taste: The Kenny Everett Story
Biopic comedy drama about the life of comedian Kenny Everett, as told with the help of his famous characters such as Sid Snot and Cupid Stunt.
10pm60 min
Celebrity Juice
Series 14, Highlights Special - Bestest Bits 2015 Part 1Keith Lemon rounds off 2015 with this festive special looking back at series thirteen and fourteen of the outrageous panel show.
10pm65 min
Very British Problems
Christmas Special - Very British Problems At ChristmasNarrated by Julie Walters and featuring archive footage from the 1940s to the present day, this programme tackles the complexities of British life at Christmas.
10:25pm
(repeat)
Bottom
Series 2, Episode 5 - HolyAfter Richie's chopped off his own finger and incinerated the Christmas dinner, a baby is left at the front door. Richie's convinced it's the Second Coming.
11pm
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Topical Channel 4 comedy panel show hosted by Jimmy Carr. The questions are based on survey results and statistics.
11pm
(repeat)
Keith Lemon: The Film
Film starring Leigh Francis as his infamous alter-ego, Keith Lemon.
11pm
(repeat)
Trollied
Series 5, Episode 7While Gavin frets about his relationship, Katie is tasked with the tough challenge of training the staff to recognise which fruits are which.
11:05pm
(repeat)
Legends Of Stand-Up And Bernard Righton
Christmas SpecialIt's the Christmas episode which highlights the work of Les Dawson, Bill Hicks, Max Wall, Emo Phillips, The Multichords, Frankie Howerd, Bob Monkhouse, Rita Rudner, Tommy Cooper and Victoria Wood.
11:15pm
(repeat)
The World According To Kenny Everett
Documentary looking at the life of Kenny Everett.
11:20pm
(repeat)
11:30pm
(repeat)
Trollied
Series 5, Episode 8A treasure hunt is held to celebrate 50 years of Valco value. Meanwhile, despite his best efforts, Gavin can't avoid confronting his and Cheryl's situation.
11:50pm50 min version (repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 11, Episode 18 Out Of 10 Cats returns for its 11th series, and joining Jimmy Carr and Sean Lock is new team captain Jon Richardson. Guests for the first show are Alex Reid, Russell Kane, Rachel Riley and comedian Josh Widdicombe.
12:05am
(repeat)
Not The Nine O'Clock News
Popular satirical sketch show of the late 70s and early 80s starring Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones and Pamela Stephenson.
12:05am
(repeat)
Peep Show
Series 9, Episode 6 - Are We Going To Be Alright?The El Dude Brothers are bowing out on a high - a strange, complicated and definitely slightly illegal - high.
12:30am
(repeat)
Da Ali G Show
Episode 4Sacha Baron Cohen provides an inimitable mix of global reportage and celebrity chat via his characters Ali G, Borat and Bruno.
12:30am
(repeat)
Room 101
Series 1, Episode 5 - Alistair McGowan, Hilary Devey, Josh GrobanThis week Alistair McGowan, Hilary Devey and Josh Groban try to send the things they hate the most into Room 101. Nominations include children, Valentine's Day and smoking bans.
12:40am
(repeat)
Absolutely Fabulous
Series 1, Episode 6 - BirthdayEdina is forty. As her family and friends gather, Edina sulks at the horror of her age and hides upstairs. She's determined to only enjoy the day on her terms - and that means annoying everyone else.
1am
(repeat)
Josh
Series 1, Episode 6 - Suited & BootedIt's Josh's birthday, so Kate and Owen decide to organise him a fancy dress party.
1:05am
(repeat)
Bo' Selecta!
Sketch comedy series starring Leigh Francis as Avid Merrion, Transylvania's biggest celebrity fan.
1:10am
(repeat)
Room 101
Series 1, Episode 2 - Gregg Wallace, Gabby Logan, Sarah MillicanThis week Gregg Wallace, Gabby Logan and Sarah Millican try to send the things they hate the most into Room 101. Nominations include cashpoints, buffets and anti-social cats.
1:20am
(repeat)
Bottom
Series 2, Episode 5 - HolyAfter Richie's chopped off his own finger and incinerated the Christmas dinner, a baby is left at the front door. Richie's convinced it's the Second Coming.
1:50am
(repeat)
2am
(repeat)
Yes, Prime Minister
Series 2, Episode 2 - Official SecretsWith his predecessor due to publish memoirs with not entirely flattering recollections of Jim's time as Minister for Administrative Affairs, he attempts to see the book censored. There's little legal ground to do so, and Number 10 is thrown into a panic when word of the blocking attempt is leaked...
2:10am
(repeat)
Cold Feet
Comedy drama about three couples experiencing the ups-and-downs of romance.
2:30am
(repeat)
Cuckoo
Series 1, Episode 3 - Ken On EKen has his eye on becoming a local Lib Dem councillor, but Dylan getting into a fight at school sets his ambitions awry. Lorna intends that Cuckoo and Ken do a little bonding.
2:30am
(repeat)
What A Performance! Pioneers Of Popular Entertainment
Episode 3 - Variety Finds A New HomeIn episode three, Frank and Suzy explore variety's move to television and increasing competition from other sources.
2:35am
(repeat)
Not The Nine O'Clock News
Popular satirical sketch show of the late 70s and early 80s starring Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones and Pamela Stephenson.
3am
(repeat)
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 8, Episode 7 - Swan SongBelieving René and Edith to be dead by firing squad, Madame Fanny and LeClerc empty the till and head to Paris for one last binge. Back in Nouvion, the resistance take over the running of the café, whilst Gruber and the Colonel plan to escape to Spain to sell the painting.
3am
(repeat)
Cuckoo
Series 1, Episode 4 - Grandfather's CatThe family are off to see Lorna's dad Tony to celebrate his birthday, but events surrounding a cat put Ken in the doghouse.
3am
(repeat)
Drifters
Series 1, Episode 5 - Friend Night StandLaura considers other options to Gary, while Bunny's new man seems he could be a total knob. Meg, meanwhile, has a new friend - but the girls think there's been a misunderstanding.
3:25am
(repeat)
Drifters
Series 1, Episode 6 - Nineties NightMeg agrees to help mark out, DJing at a 1990s theme night. Meanwhile, Bunny and Laura get into a spot of bother after trying to raise rent money.
3:30am
(repeat)
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 9, Episode 6 - A Winkle In TimeThe invasion has started. Nouvion's liberation can be no more than hours away; the Germans are retreating, the girls in the café are practicing their jive - and the British airmen are back!