Television
TV schedule Wednesday 30th September 2015
6am
(repeat)
In Loving Memory
Series 2, Episode 5 - Madam PresidentIvy is somewhat enthused by the idea of becoming the first female president of the local chapter of the BUA - British Undertakers' Association. But after losing out on the post, Billy worries she'll be the next 'plant' he has to make!
7:25am
(repeat)
Sorry!
Timothy Lumsden, although bright, sharp and witty, is poor (at best) with the fairer sex - he's also stuck living with his cruel, domineering mother.
7:25am
(repeat)
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 2 - Danger At C LevelPenfold has had enough of being tied up, blown up and walloped and needs a holiday.
7:50am
(repeat)
Minder
Series 8, Episode 5 - Guess Who's Coming To PinnerLong-running comedy drama about the London criminal underworld, focusing on dodgy entrepreneur Arthur Daley and his 'minder', Terry.
8am
(repeat)
Monarch Of The Glen
Series 6, Episode 8Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.
8:20am
(repeat)
Wussywat The Clumsy Cat
Episode 24 - GentleWussywat discovers a cocoon and then a newly hatched butterfly and learns the best way to be gentle is to "not touch at all".
8:25am
(repeat)
Timmy Time
Spin-off from Shaun The Sheep for the CBeebies channel, featuring Timmy the baby lamb and his friends.
8:25am
(repeat)
Not Wanted On Voyage
Comic crime caper starring Brian Rix and Ronald Shiner as stewards on a luxury cruise ship who uncover a diamond theft plot.
9am
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 20th and 21st series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
9:35am
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 18 - SoftThe Twirlywoos meet a soft and fluffy cat. Back in the Boat the Box brings them a soft surprise.
9:50am
(repeat)
The Dog Ate My Homework
Series 1, Episode 8The super-student team captains are joined by Waterloo Road students Kirstie Steele and Shane O'Meara, as well as comedians Bec Hill and Romesh Ranganathan.
10:50am
(repeat)
My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.
11:10am
(repeat)
All At Sea
Series 1, Episode 6 - CarwashWhen Charlie breaks the microwave, he needs a plan to make money for repairs, and thinks car washing may be the perfect solution. He just needs to work out a way to make cars dirty first.
11:15am
(repeat)
Sooty
Series 2, Episode 24 - Disco Disco!Richard is looking forward to Mr Slater's disco, but - Sooty, Sweep and Soo are in charge. With no sound system and a broken smoke machine, Sooty has to call in some old friends to save the day. With special guest stars B*Witched.
11:30am
(repeat)
Sooty
Series 2, Episode 25 - Panto PalaverWhen the actors for Mr Slater's pantomime don't turn up, Sooty, Sweep and Soo perform instead. Will The Wicked Bunny have Little Blue Riding Hood for his supper, or can Sooty the woodcutter come to her rescue?
11:55am
(repeat)
Minder
Series 8, Episode 5 - Guess Who's Coming To PinnerLong-running comedy drama about the London criminal underworld, focusing on dodgy entrepreneur Arthur Daley and his 'minder', Terry.
12pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 4, Episode 10 - Loco ParentsBen and Susan have to go back to school for parenting classes as a result of Michael playing truant.
12:30pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Animated adventures of comedy favourite Mr Bean, voiced by Rowan Atkinson.
12:40pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 4, Episode 11 - Canary CageThe Harpers get a free holiday to Lanzarote, and even though Ben loses his luggage, he is happy enough to use his brand new digital camera as much as possible, this causes a few misunderstanding with the folks in the holiday home next door.
12:45pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 19 - Royal BeanMr Bean meets the Queen during a visit to Buckingham Palace to replace his favourite, but broken, mug.
1pm
(repeat)
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 6, Episode 10 - Accentuate The PositiveWith the war coming to an end, there are surprises in store for Gary, his two wives, and Ron.
1:15pm
(repeat)
Horrible Science
Episode 3 - Chemical ChaosThis episode features explosions, atoms and fiendish forces that bubble, go bang and bump! What makes things explode? Lucy has made a mistake in the script and now everyone thinks the show is about elephants. It is a disaster - especially as their guest is the legendary scientist Marie Curie!
1:20pm
(repeat)
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 3, Episode 2 - Iron Age RemainsHyacinth plans to help Richard make the most of his retirement, starting off with a trip to look for remains of an iron age settlement. Rose, meanwhile, is torn between depression and lust.
1:30pm
(repeat)
The Dog Ate My Homework
Series 1, Episode 8The super-student team captains are joined by Waterloo Road students Kirstie Steele and Shane O'Meara, as well as comedians Bec Hill and Romesh Ranganathan.
1:35pm
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 18 - SoftThe Twirlywoos meet a soft and fluffy cat. Back in the Boat the Box brings them a soft surprise.
1:40pm
(repeat)
A Fine Romance
Gentle sitcom about the begrudging and at times difficult romance between two individuals; a translator and a gardener.
2pm
(repeat)
One Foot In The Grave
Series 3, Episode 6 - The Worst Horror Of AllVictor celebrates his return to work but is not pleased that his first day on the job involves a nasty case of vermin control. His bad luck continues that night, when Victor and Margaret visit the BBC with a virtually unconscious window cleaner they believe to be Mrs Warboy's cousin.
2pm
(repeat)
The Goose Steps Out
Wartime comedy starring Will Hay. Teacher William Potts goes undercover at a German spy training school.
2pm
(repeat)
All At Sea
Series 1, Episode 6 - CarwashWhen Charlie breaks the microwave, he needs a plan to make money for repairs, and thinks car washing may be the perfect solution. He just needs to work out a way to make cars dirty first.
2:05pm
(repeat)
My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.
2:15pm
(repeat)
Mapp & Lucia
EF Benson's classic Mapp And Lucia adapted into a BBC One comedy drama. Overseen by Steve Pemberton.
2:20pm
(repeat)
Birds Of A Feather
Series 2, Episode 1 - Getting A GripOverdue bills lead to the electricity being cut off. Garth has been fighting in school and the central heating is leaking. Roll on two useless plumbers, a pair of female plumbers who botch it up and one who couldn't give a firm time arriving just as the house begins to flood.
2:30pm
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 4, Episode 1 - All Things BrightA reluctant Sean and Desmond are bamboozled into cooking for the Sunday School outing.
2:40pm
(repeat)
Open All Hours
Series 2, Episode 2 - The Reluctant TravellerNurse Gladys Emmanuel and Arkwright are finally going to spend the night together at a hotel... with an over-tight money belt.
2:50pm
(repeat)
2:55pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 4, Episode 16 - The PelicanAn unusual guest lands on the farm. Shaun and Bitzer try their best to make the visitor feel welcome but can't work out what the unexpected arrival needs. When they realise it is hungry, they set about trying to find it some food - if only they could get their hands on the Farmer's prize catch.
3pm
(repeat)
Monarch Of The Glen
Series 6, Episode 8Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.
3pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 4, Episode 17 - Bad BoyThere's a new kid on the block and he's up to no good. At first Bitzer is charmed by the newcomer, but when he starts to get him into trouble, Shaun decides something must be done to teach him a lesson.
3:20pm
(repeat)
Open All Hours
Series 2, Episode 5 - Arkwright's Mobile StoreArkwright proves his ambition by expanding the business... he buys an old ice-cream van.
3:20pm
(repeat)
My Learned Friend
Released from prison, a convict is gunning for the men who put him away. Will Hay is on the list, and enlists the help of Claude Hulbert.
3:55pm
(repeat)
Boj
Episode 50 - Sploshy FunWhen Denzil and Rupa fail to win their swimming badges, Boj encourages his buddies to have sploshy fun in the pool and win a new badge at the same time!
4pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 20th and 21st series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
4:15pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 23 - Jurassic BeanMr Bean goes in search of wildlife, but he is not expecting to see anything prehistoric!
4:20pm
(repeat)
Doctor In The House
Series 1, Episode 8 - The War Of The MascotsThe St. Swithin's team's recent rugby victory prompts the losing team of rival hospital High Cross to seek revenge. Replying in kind, the boys end up in hot water.
4:30pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 20 - Young BeanWhen did Mr Bean first meet his teddy bear? Did he really learn to drive his Mini at the age of ten? He takes us on a journey into the past.
4:55pm
(repeat)
Rising Damp
Pilot, Episode 1 - The New TenantA run-down boarding house in an unnamed northern English town is home to Miss Ruth Jones, an administrator at the local university; a medical student, Alan; the grubby, unfriendly landlord Rupert Rigsby, and his cat, Vienna. When a room in the house becomes vacant Miss Jones suggests that she knows a suitable candidate.
5pm
(repeat)
Minder
Series 8, Episode 6 - The Last Temptation Of DaleyLong-running comedy drama about the London criminal underworld, focusing on dodgy entrepreneur Arthur Daley and his 'minder', Terry.
5:20pm
(repeat)
In Loving Memory
Series 2, Episode 6 - The Angels Want Me For A SunbeamBrother Benjamin Bailey and Sister Joanna bring their travelling salvation show to town - Billy is won over by the idea, but are they all that they seem?
6pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 4, Episode 10 - Loco ParentsBen and Susan have to go back to school for parenting classes as a result of Michael playing truant.
6pm
(repeat)
A Fine Romance
Gentle sitcom about the begrudging and at times difficult romance between two individuals; a translator and a gardener.
6pm15 min
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 3 - GreenfingerTrying to 'help' by watering Squawkencluck's plants, DM unleashes a planet-wide extra-terrestrial sprawling welsh weed.
6:40pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 4, Episode 11 - Canary CageThe Harpers get a free holiday to Lanzarote, and even though Ben loses his luggage, he is happy enough to use his brand new digital camera as much as possible, this causes a few misunderstanding with the folks in the holiday home next door.
6:40pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 23, Episode 10 - It All Began With A Volvo HeadlampA heartbroken Kevin asks for help in finding a lonely spot to be alone.
6:50pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 1, Episode 8 - Take AwaySheep can't order pizzas, can they? Noone told Shaun and pals, as they strip the scarecrow and head off into town.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Miranda
Series 2, Episode 4 - A New LowThere's a new girl on the scene this week and Miranda and Stevie find it tough going to keep up with her youthful energy and frenetic lifestyle.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 6, Episode 10 - Accentuate The PositiveWith the war coming to an end, there are surprises in store for Gary, his two wives, and Ron.
8pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 2, Episode 3 - Disturbing The PeaceThe prisoners look forward to a more relaxed life when Mr Mackay leaves - but he's soon replaced by Wainwright, the toughest screw in the system. When he moves Mr. Barrowclough from the cells to the prison farm, the inmates decide enough is enough.
8pm
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 4, Episode 1 - All Things BrightA reluctant Sean and Desmond are bamboozled into cooking for the Sunday School outing.
8pm
(repeat)
8:40pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 2, Episode 4 - No Peace For The WickedIt's Saturday afternoon and it's a beautiful day outside, but all Fletch wants is an uninterrupted afternoon in his cell with his dirty magazine. Unfortunately he has an endless stream of visitors, keen to divert his attentions in several other directions.
8:40pm
(repeat)
9pm
(repeat)
Duck Quacks Don't Echo
Series 3, Episode 5Chef Heston Blumenthal and comedians Bob Mortimer and Aisling Bea are the latest guests to put their trivia to the test on Lee Mack's riotous panel show.
9pm
(repeat)
Russell Howard's Good News
Series 6, Episode 1Russell Howard is back. A drunk man tries to surf, and a look at a dodgy horse drink. In the Mystery Guest segment Russell tries some break dancing. The Good News Extra comic is Doc Brown.
9pm
(repeat)
Drifters
Series 2, Episode 1 - Rock N RollMeg is traumatised when her parents announce a trial separation. Meanwhile Bunny has started seeing the banjo player from promising but unsigned band The New Harvesters, and Laura finds herself taking care of Gary.
9pm
(repeat)
Through The Keyhole
Series 3, Episode 5This week the guessing is down to Coronation Street actor Antony Cotton, radio DJ Sara Cox and comedian Jimmy Carr.
9pm60 min
You, Me And The Apocalypse
Episode 134 days to go. Slough bank manager Jamie's birthday is rocked when he is arrested on suspicion of being an international cyber terrorist. But news of an impending apocalypse throws much more into chaos.
9:20pm
(repeat)
Mrs. Brown's Boys
Series 1, Episode 1 - The MammyAgnes Brown has family troubles to contend with: her son Dermot has fallen out with Maria Nicholson, his long-term girlfriend, and Grandad is feeling poorly.
9:20pm
(repeat)
Mock The Week
Series 10, Episode 6Dara, Hugh and Andy are back, with Chris Addison on board now as a regular panellist. The guests are Nathan Caton, Micky Flanagan and Stewart Francis.
9:30pm
(repeat)
Drifters
Series 2, Episode 2 - Truth Or DareMeg organises a girls' night in, as they're all broke and single. The night spirals out of control when Laura and Bunny insist they play Truth or Dare. And which one of the girls stands a chance with fit Scott the neighbour?
9:35pm
(repeat)
Bad Education
Series 1, Episode 6 - PoliticsFraser's on professional suspension after an unfortunate incident involving a projector. With the school elections due to take place, Pickwell's determined that to show the governors that she can run something successfully, and Alfie's keen to show Miss Gulliver he can take politics seriously.
10pm
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 2 (Channel 4: Series 3), Episode 4Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by Dara O Briain and Sharon Horgan. Countdown regular Susie Dent is in with help from Adam Buxton.
10pm30 min
Marley's Ghosts
Series 1, Episode 1Magistrate Marley has an unattentive husband with a failed business, and a lover who's a little too sure of their relationship. In a tragic pairing of accidents, both men die - along with the local vicar. But for Marley, that's only the start...
10pm
(repeat)
10pm
(repeat)
Mock The Week
Series 5, Episode 9Mark Watson returns to the show, joining Hugh Dennis and Frankie Boyle. Russell Howard and Andy Parsons are helped by Jo Caulfield.
10:10pm
(repeat)
Lee Evans: Roadrunner
TV broadcast of Lee Evans's 2011 stand-up show and release, Roadrunner.
10:30pm
(repeat)
Bad Education
Series 3, Episode 5 - The ExamAlfie is forced to sit his Biology GCSE with the rest of his class - but do cheaters ever really prosper?
10:40pm
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
1996 Christmas Trilogy, Christmas Special - Modern MenDel buys a self-help book aimed at the modern New Man in an effort to improve his relationship with Raquel. Meanwhile, the Trotters' finances have hit an all-time low.
10:40pm
(repeat)
Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish
Series 3, Episode 4 - Too-Ra Taloo Rye-EhThis week an annoying printer gets the sledge-hammer treatment, Christine Hamilton receives an unexpected gift, and some bees get to travel first class. Sort of...
10:45pm
(repeat)
Brilliantman!
Slapstick comedy starring Kevin Eldon as a very ordinary man who sees himself as a secret superhero.
11pm
(repeat)
Birds Of A Feather
Series 2, Episode 1 - Getting A GripOverdue bills lead to the electricity being cut off. Garth has been fighting in school and the central heating is leaking. Roll on two useless plumbers, a pair of female plumbers who botch it up and one who couldn't give a firm time arriving just as the house begins to flood.
11:05pm40 min version
Room 101
Series 4, Episode 6 - Victoria Coren Mitchell, Warwick Davis, Dr. Christian JessenFrank Skinner is joined by TV presenter and poker player Victoria Coren Mitchell, actor Warwick Davis and host of Embarrassing Bodies Dr. Christian Jessen. Nominations include James Bond and people who send emails.
11:40pm
(repeat)
Would I Lie To You?
Series 7, Highlights Special - The Unseen BitsRob Brydon, Lee Mack and David Mitchell return for an episode of previously unseen material from the comedy panel show.
11:45pm40 min version (repeat)
Room 101
Series 4, Episode 6 - Victoria Coren Mitchell, Warwick Davis, Dr. Christian JessenFrank Skinner is joined by TV presenter and poker player Victoria Coren Mitchell, actor Warwick Davis and host of Embarrassing Bodies Dr. Christian Jessen. Nominations include James Bond and people who send emails.
11:45pm
(repeat)
Sliding Doors
Romantic comedy in which a woman's love life and career both hinge on whether or not she catches a train. We see the result both ways, in parallel.
Midnight
(repeat)
A Bit Of Fry & Laurie
Series 2, Episode 1Sketches include "Flushed Grollings", Dancercises and Stephen pretending to be Michael Jackson.
12:05am40 min version (repeat)
Room 101
Series 4, Episode 6 - Victoria Coren Mitchell, Warwick Davis, Dr. Christian JessenFrank Skinner is joined by TV presenter and poker player Victoria Coren Mitchell, actor Warwick Davis and host of Embarrassing Bodies Dr. Christian Jessen. Nominations include James Bond and people who send emails.
12:10am
(repeat)
Nixon's The One
Episode 4 - ElitesThis episode focuses on Nixon's contempt for Ivy League universities.
12:10am
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 1 (Channel 4: Series 2), Episode 4Sarah Millican and Chris Ramsey play the game with Sean, Jon and Jimmy this week. Susie Dent is joined in Dictionary Corner by Abandoman, while Rachel Riley dispenses the letters and numbers with a little help from comedian Joe Wilkinson.
12:20am
(repeat)
Would I Lie To You?
Series 7, Christmas Special - Would I Lie To You? At ChristmasSpecial Christmas edition of the popular parlour game of truth, lies and surprises. David Mitchell is joined by Miranda Hart and Stephen Mangan while Lee Mack is joined by Barry Cryer and Miles Jupp.
12:25am
(repeat)
Sliding Doors
Romantic comedy in which a woman's love life and career both hinge on whether or not she catches a train. We see the result both ways, in parallel.
12:40am
(repeat)
The Comic Strip Presents...
Series 2, Episode 3 - A Fistful Of Travellers' ChequesTwo students go to Spain to do the 'whole spaghetti western thing' and run into a series of disparate and desperate characters.
12:45am
(repeat)
Sliding Doors
Romantic comedy in which a woman's love life and career both hinge on whether or not she catches a train. We see the result both ways, in parallel.
1am
(repeat)
You, Me And The Apocalypse
Episode 134 days to go. Slough bank manager Jamie's birthday is rocked when he is arrested on suspicion of being an international cyber terrorist. But news of an impending apocalypse throws much more into chaos.
1am
(repeat)
1:20am
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
1996 Christmas Trilogy, Christmas Special - Modern MenDel buys a self-help book aimed at the modern New Man in an effort to improve his relationship with Raquel. Meanwhile, the Trotters' finances have hit an all-time low.
1:30am
(repeat)
Minder
Series 8, Episode 6 - The Last Temptation Of DaleyLong-running comedy drama about the London criminal underworld, focusing on dodgy entrepreneur Arthur Daley and his 'minder', Terry.
1:40am
(repeat)
Seann Walsh World
Episode 1Seann Walsh presents an energetic mix of stand-up comedy, sketch and viral clips. This first episode includes Seann discussing the 'toilet roll walk'.
1:40am
(repeat)
2am
(repeat)
Spaced
Series 1, Episode 6 - EpiphaniesAfter a visit from Tyres, the whole gang decide to go clubbing. Brian remembers yet another painful past incident and Mike forgets a bad day with some fancy dress and dancing.
2:15am
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 2 (Channel 4: Series 3), Episode 4Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by Dara O Briain and Sharon Horgan. Countdown regular Susie Dent is in with help from Adam Buxton.
2:20am
(repeat)
Mock The Week
Series 5, Episode 9Mark Watson returns to the show, joining Hugh Dennis and Frankie Boyle. Russell Howard and Andy Parsons are helped by Jo Caulfield.
2:30am
(repeat)
A Bit Of Fry & Laurie
Series 2, Episode 1Sketches include "Flushed Grollings", Dancercises and Stephen pretending to be Michael Jackson.
2:30am
(repeat)
Spaced
Series 1, Episode 7 - EndsMike's professional life comes into question as he is interviewed for re-entry to the TA and Tim's love life is equally rocky when he hears from Sarah. He cannot understand why Daisy and Mike aren't happy for him. Daisy finally overcomes a massive writer's bloke and Brian takes Twist out.
3am
(repeat)
The Comic Strip Presents...
Series 2, Episode 3 - A Fistful Of Travellers' ChequesTwo students go to Spain to do the 'whole spaghetti western thing' and run into a series of disparate and desperate characters.
3:10am
(repeat)
Seann Walsh World
Episode 1Seann Walsh presents an energetic mix of stand-up comedy, sketch and viral clips. This first episode includes Seann discussing the 'toilet roll walk'.
3:35am
(repeat)
Dirty Sexy Funny: Olivia Lee
Series 2, Episode 1Olivia Lee returns in the hidden camera sketch show. Featuring the world's worst talk-show guest Elaine Caine meeting Anthony Costa from Blue.