Television
TV schedule Thursday 17th September 2015
6am
(repeat)
Never The Twain
Series 5, Episode 4 - Kung WhoOliver has accepted Simon's challenge to take up judo but he has absolutely no idea about martial arts. He is in for a big surprise if he continues to believe that a karate chop is some kind of Japanese cutlet!
6:50am
(repeat)
Minder
Series 7, Episode 2 - Days Of Fines And ClosuresArthur attempts to do a deal with Tony Benson and his new nightclub. Terry helps Dave by looking after the Winchester Club.
7:15am
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 3, Episode 17 - The Hang GliderThe Farmer has a thrilling new hobby - however it's not as easy as it looks! When the Farmer gets stuck in a tree Bitzer comes to his rescue, leaving Shaun and the Flock to get to grips with the airborne contraption.
7:30am
(repeat)
One Foot In The Grave
Series 2, Episode 5 - Love And DeathVictor and Margaret head off for a weekend at the seaside, staying with old friends who run a B&B, where Victor is presented with a most unusual and unwelcome gift, and Romanian students cause yet further confusion in the Meldrews' lives.
8am
(repeat)
Monarch Of The Glen
Series 5, Episode 7Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.
8:20am
(repeat)
Wussywat The Clumsy Cat
Episode 11 - CakeIt's Ortus's birthday and Wussywat finds his picnic surprise.
8:25am
(repeat)
Timmy Time
Spin-off from Shaun The Sheep for the CBeebies channel, featuring Timmy the baby lamb and his friends.
9am
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of three episodes from Britain's longest-running sitcom.
9:35am
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 9 - This Way, That WayThe Twirlywoos are chased this way and that way when they encounter a dog in a park. When the Tea Machine starts acting strangely Toodloo has to run back and forth across the Boat to keep up.
10:50am
(repeat)
My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.
11:15am
(repeat)
Sooty
Series 2, Episode 6 - The Early NightRichard plans an early night in preparation for Mr Slater's fitness class. But when Sooty's pet mouse escapes, and Sweep loses his favourite bone, his hopes of a good night's sleep look set for disaster.
11:30am
(repeat)
Sooty
Series 2, Episode 7 - The GenieWhen Sooty finds a magical lamp on the beach, he discovers that it contains a genie. But this genie causes nothing but mischief, and won't get back in the lamp. It's up to Sooty to sort things out. Guest starring Dave Benson Phillips.
12pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 3, Episode 4 - Of Mice And BenIn this, the 25th episode, Abi has to make a video project about family life. She decides to film the Harpers, but Ben and Susan ruin the film!
12:05pm
(repeat)
Minder
Series 7, Episode 2 - Days Of Fines And ClosuresArthur attempts to do a deal with Tony Benson and his new nightclub. Terry helps Dave by looking after the Winchester Club.
12:30pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 26 - Taxi BeanMr Bean takes a taxi to his local toy shop, but a dodgy cabbie thinks he can take Bean for a ride. After a mix-up Mr Bean finds himself driving the taxi.
12:40pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 3, Episode 5 - Imperfect StrangersAfter being ushered away from the university by Janey and her two male friends, Susan and Ben decide to book into a local hotel under fake names and pretend to meet each other again as strangers. As you'd expect, it all goes wrong when Ben enters the wrong room!
12:45pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 10 - Ray Of SunshineMr Bean is in pursuit of sunshine but only manages to cause chaos on the beach!
1pm
(repeat)
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 6, Episode 1 - Mine's A DoubleA stormy night in the 1940s has a striking effect on Gary's journey back to the present day, leaving him a completely different person in more ways than one. Yvonne is pleasantly surprised with the transformation, but Phoebe sees a side to Gary she was not aware of, and is not impressed.
1:20pm
(repeat)
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 2, Episode 5Hyacinth calls Richard out of an important meeting when Daddy disappears - apparently to get married!
1:20pm
(repeat)
Carry On Admiral
1957 British comedy film directed by Val Guest. Not part of the Carry On series of films, which it predates, though it is similar in tone and style.
1:35pm
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 9 - This Way, That WayThe Twirlywoos are chased this way and that way when they encounter a dog in a park. When the Tea Machine starts acting strangely Toodloo has to run back and forth across the Boat to keep up.
1:40pm
(repeat)
A Fine Romance
Gentle sitcom about the begrudging and at times difficult romance between two individuals; a translator and a gardener.
2pm
(repeat)
One Foot In The Grave
Series 2, Episode 5 - Love And DeathVictor and Margaret head off for a weekend at the seaside, staying with old friends who run a B&B, where Victor is presented with a most unusual and unwelcome gift, and Romanian students cause yet further confusion in the Meldrews' lives.
2:05pm
(repeat)
My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.
2:20pm
(repeat)
Birds Of A Feather
Series 9, Episode 3 - SundayTracey and Sharon go with Dorien to a Sunday antique market in an old warehouse to get Garth's wedding present, but the door closes behind them and they get stuck inside.
2:30pm
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 6, Episode 5 - Love LettersBeverley is distraught when she finds some love letters written by Cuthbert.
2:40pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 5 - Ways And MeansAfter offering advice to fellow fishing-net "knitter" McLaren on curbing his short temper, Fletch attempts to make amends with the governor when McLaren forgoes angry outbursts for a more peaceful rooftop protest.
2:50pm
(repeat)
2:55pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 3, Episode 17 - The Hang GliderThe Farmer has a thrilling new hobby - however it's not as easy as it looks! When the Farmer gets stuck in a tree Bitzer comes to his rescue, leaving Shaun and the Flock to get to grips with the airborne contraption.
3pm
(repeat)
Monarch Of The Glen
Series 5, Episode 7Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.
3pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 3, Episode 18 - The Shadow PlayIt's bedtime for Timmy but he's overtired and his Mum can't get him to sleep. Nothing seems to calm him until Shaun accidentally makes a shadow puppet on the wall. They put on a puppet show to help Timmy get to sleep. As the drama unfolds the audience see more than they bargained for.
3:20pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 6 - Men Without WomenFletcher has been offering his advice to his fellow prisoners on the topic of romance. Letters written home result in a visiting room full of wives and sweethearts, but Fletcher's visitor is his eldest daughter. Should he be following his own advice?
3:55pm
(repeat)
Boj
Episode 40 - Pops's Outback TrekBoj digs up Mr Cloppity's old time capsule. Pops is homesick, so Boj cheers him up by recreating an outback trek. Will Pops realise that he doesn't have to miss home? He is home, right here in Giggly Park!
4pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 17, Episode 3 - The Glamour Of The UniformMarina's apparent fascination with men in uniform forces Howard to take drastic steps.
4:15pm
(repeat)
Never The Twain
Series 5, Episode 4 - Kung WhoOliver has accepted Simon's challenge to take up judo but he has absolutely no idea about martial arts. He is in for a big surprise if he continues to believe that a karate chop is some kind of Japanese cutlet!
4:15pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 14 - Viral BeanMr Bean is trying to find a nice quiet place to read his book so he sets off for the library. There he is distracted by some funny online videos on the library computer. Before he knows it, Mr Bean is recording his own video, which is uploaded for everyone to see. Things start to go crazy when people check it out and his popularity takes off. Will he enjoy being in the public eye and how long will his celebrity last?
4:30pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 11 - Birthday BearMr Bean is shocked when Teddy receives a birthday card from Bean's girlfriend.
4:30pm30 min
Hank Zipzer
Series 2, Episode 6 - Open DayIt's open day at Westbrook Academy and Hank has big plans to show potential newcomers that not everyone is as boring as McKelty or as mean as Miss Adolf. Mr Joy though, has other ideas...
4:40pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 17, Episode 4 - The First Human Being To Ride A HillWhen Pearl confiscates Howard's bike, Foggy suggests that what he needs is one which can be easily concealed or, better still, doesn't look like a bicycle.
4:50pm
(repeat)
On The Buses
Series 7, Episode 4 - The PosterLuxton & District announces a staff competition to find the face of the perfect bus conductor for a new promotional advertising campaign. With a £100 prize for the chosen busman Stan is keen to win - and Blakey's keen to fire him!
5pm
(repeat)
Minder
Series 7, Episode 3 - Fatal ImpressionA reformed gambler dies owing Arthur money, but a religious miracle seems to offer some compensation.
5:20pm
(repeat)
In Loving Memory
Series 1, Episode 4 - The RivalsA rival undertaker engages in trade war, before Ivy begins to see his softer side.
5:20pm
(repeat)
Fawlty Towers
Series 2, Episode 4 - The Kipper And The CorpseEvery hotelier's worst nightmare: a stiff in one of the rooms. Basil's initially concerned as to whether the late Mr Leeman had started his breakfast, but his mind soon turns to clearing the room as soon as possible.
5:20pm
(repeat)
Gigglebiz
Series 3, Episode 24Acrobatic troupe the Berrito Brothers show off their weight-lifting skills, intrepid explorer Rapids Johnson goes in search of the furry-footed fishing bear, wildlife park tour guide Sue Keeper gets sheep and goats mixed up and gardener Will Barrow finds all sorts of animals hiding in his wheelbarrow.
6pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 3, Episode 4 - Of Mice And BenIn this, the 25th episode, Abi has to make a video project about family life. She decides to film the Harpers, but Ben and Susan ruin the film!
6pm
(repeat)
A Fine Romance
Gentle sitcom about the begrudging and at times difficult romance between two individuals; a translator and a gardener.
6:25pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 2, Episode 8 - Bagpipe BuddyThe sheep discover a set of bagpipes on the rubbish dump which they immediately misidentify as a sick emu. They set about trying to nurse it back to health before releasing it back into the wild.
6:40pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 3, Episode 5 - Imperfect StrangersAfter being ushered away from the university by Janey and her two male friends, Susan and Ben decide to book into a local hotel under fake names and pretend to meet each other again as strangers. As you'd expect, it all goes wrong when Ben enters the wrong room!
6:40pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 23, Episode 1 - A Brief Excursion In The Fast LaneWesley invents an off-the-road motorised scooter.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 2, Episode 5Hyacinth calls Richard out of an important meeting when Daddy disappears - apparently to get married!
7:20pm
(repeat)
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 6, Episode 1 - Mine's A DoubleA stormy night in the 1940s has a striking effect on Gary's journey back to the present day, leaving him a completely different person in more ways than one. Yvonne is pleasantly surprised with the transformation, but Phoebe sees a side to Gary she was not aware of, and is not impressed.
8pm
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
Series 2, Episode 4 - No Greater LoveRodney has fallen for an older woman whose husband is locked up in prison. With her old man's release imminent, Del fears for Rodney's safety, but he can see that the lad is smitten.
8pm
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 6, Episode 5 - Love LettersBeverley is distraught when she finds some love letters written by Cuthbert.
8pm60 min version (repeat)
8:40pm
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
Series 2, Episode 5 - The Yellow PerilAfter a mysterious call from the health inspector, the local Chinese restaurant employ the Trotters to renovate their kitchens. Trigger supplies the paint but neglects to tell them exactly where he got it from.
9pm60 min version (repeat)
Russell Howard's Good News
Topical stand-up comedy and chat show hosted by Russell Howard.
9pm
(repeat)
PhoneShop
Series 1, Episode 5 - Salesman Of The MonthFor the first time in years, someone other than Little Gary Patel is in with a chance of being top salesman of the month. As the boys vie for position, Janine moons over her new boyfriend, Don.
9pm30 min
Three Kinds Of Stupid
Physical comedy for Sky Arts in which three community support officers accidentally kill a blind man's dog.
9pm30 min
Cradle To Grave
Episode 3Danny finds himself stepping into a parallel universe, where actual telly programmes can be watched again in your own front room.
9pm60 min version (repeat)
Have I Got News For You
Series 41, Episode 6Alan Johnson MP acts as host as Ian Hislop and Paul Merton continue to satirise the events of week. With guest panellists Miles Jupp and Graham Linehan.
9:20pm
(repeat)
The Catherine Tate Show
Series 1, Episode 5Sandra shows us the silly game of 'Last Hit' - however, things soon turn ugly when a man gets hit by a car, but still feels as if he needs to play. Nan and her grandson visit the Pound Shop where everything doesn't go according to plan.
9:30pm
(repeat)
PhoneShop
Series 1, Episode 6 - Soldier, Swinger, Shelley, ShelleyLance is off on his second honeymoon. Janine is in charge and teaching Christopher to go the "extra mile" for his customers and Ashley has got a date with a soldier. What's the worst that can happen?
9:30pm30 min
Boy Meets Girl
Series 1, Episode 3Leo and Judy go to see a new exhibition at the art gallery. They were expecting watercolours but end up viewing some provocative and surprising photographs instead.
10pm
(repeat)
Fawlty Towers
Series 2, Episode 5 - The AnniversaryIt's the Fawlty's wedding anniversary, and Sybil storms out, thinking Basil has forgotten - just moments before a group of their friends arrive for celebratory drinks.
10pm
(repeat)
Michael McIntyre: Hello Wembley!
Stand-up Michael McIntyre performs to a sell-out crowd at the Wembley Arena. From October 2009.
10pm60 min
The Football's On
Series 3, Episode 1Ian Stone is joined by comedians Clive Anderson, Richard Osman, Ian Moore, Carl Donnelly and man of the people, Keith Dover for a humorous look at the week's football stories including hilarious reaction to all the latest from the Champions League, Europa League and the Premier League.
10pm30 min
Mock The Week
Series 14, Episode 8Featuring guests Ed Byrne, Nathan Caton, Ed Gamble and Sara Pascoe.
10pm50 min
Celebrity Juice
Series 14, Episode 2Keith Lemon, Holly Willoughby and Gino D'Acampo are joined by actor and model Kelly Brook, music manager Louis Walsh, Corrie's Hayley Tamaddon and comedian Jimmy Carr.
10:30pm45 min version (repeat)
Russell Howard's Good News
Series 6, Episode 4Russell Howard looks at topics including security for the Olympics, the terrible May weather and a lost ET doll. Pali, the world's quickest pizza maker, is the Mystery Guest. The Good News Extra comic is Daniel Simonsen.
11pm
(repeat)
Birds Of A Feather
Series 9, Episode 3 - SundayTracey and Sharon go with Dorien to a Sunday antique market in an old warehouse to get Garth's wedding present, but the door closes behind them and they get stuck inside.
11:10pm
(repeat)
Blackadder
Blackadder II, Episode 5 - BeerBlackadder challenges Melchett to a drinking contest - on the same night he is due to play host to his puritanical relatives, Lord and Lady Whiteadder, in order to discuss his inheritance!
11:15pm
(repeat)
Cradle To Grave
Episode 3Danny finds himself stepping into a parallel universe, where actual telly programmes can be watched again in your own front room.
11:45pm
(repeat)
Boy Meets Girl
Series 1, Episode 3Leo and Judy go to see a new exhibition at the art gallery. They were expecting watercolours but end up viewing some provocative and surprising photographs instead.
11:50pm
(repeat)
Blackadder
Blackadder II, Episode 6 - ChainsMelchett and Blackadder are taken hostage by the dastardly German master of disguise Prince Ludwig, just hours after the Queen swore to only pay one more ransom ever. When she struggles to choose between the two, their captor decides to overthrow her and make himself King.
Midnight
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 1, Episode 7With Lee Mack, Janet Street-Porter, Patrick McGuinness and Trisha Goddard.
12:30am
(repeat)
The Royle Family
Christmas Special - Joe's CrackersIt's Christmas Day at the Royles' and Barbara is up to her eyes in it as Jim is out of action due to an unfortunate incident in the precinct.
12:30am
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 1, Episode 8With Simon Amstell, Ralf Little, Iain Lee and Property Ladder presenter Sarah Beeny.
1am
(repeat)
Three Kinds Of Stupid
Physical comedy for Sky Arts in which three community support officers accidentally kill a blind man's dog.
1am60 min version (repeat)
1:25am
(repeat)
Fake Reaction
Series 2, Episode 5Guests facing toe sucking, scary noise dancing, smelly sumo pants and a penguin-fed platter are Atomic Kitten's Kerry Katona, TV presenter Matt Johnson, Made in Chelsea's Cheska Hull and comedian Patrick Monahan.
1:30am
(repeat)
Big Bad World
Episode 2Ben gets a job at his local pub - unfortunately it's an unpaid graduate scheme. With his new status will he be able to win back the heart of ex-girlfriend, Lucy?
1:45am
(repeat)
The Catherine Tate Show
Series 2, Episode 3Ivan & Trudy present their 'wig emporium', Derek Faye purchases a David Beckham calendar and are hospital nurses stealing Nan's personal belongings?
2am60 min version (repeat)
Russell Howard's Good News
Topical stand-up comedy and chat show hosted by Russell Howard.
2am
(repeat)
Ali G In Da USAiii
Ali G takes his brand of interview to the US.
2am60 min version (repeat)
Have I Got News For You
Series 41, Episode 6Alan Johnson MP acts as host as Ian Hislop and Paul Merton continue to satirise the events of week. With guest panellists Miles Jupp and Graham Linehan.
2:35am
(repeat)
The Royle Family
Christmas Special - Joe's CrackersIt's Christmas Day at the Royles' and Barbara is up to her eyes in it as Jim is out of action due to an unfortunate incident in the precinct.
2:40am
(repeat)
Dead Air
Sitcom pilot about a radio DJ who is given the chance to host the breakfast show. Created by and stars Radio 1 presenter Greg James.
3am
(repeat)
Big Bad World
Episode 2Ben gets a job at his local pub - unfortunately it's an unpaid graduate scheme. With his new status will he be able to win back the heart of ex-girlfriend, Lucy?
3am
(repeat)
Fried
Episode 4 - The Second ComingMary attempts to move on by getting Trevor's phone number, offering him a new product - Chicken Balls - in return.
3:25am
(repeat)
Dirty Sexy Funny: Olivia Lee
A hidden camera prank show for Comedy Central starring Olivia Lee. Features stunts, scripted sketches and setups.
3:25am
(repeat)
Top Coppers
Episode 5 - The Escape Of Vince RustRust's identical twin brother Vince escapes from Justice City penitentiary with a devious plan to swap places with Rust and infiltrate the JCPD. Meanwhile, it's Mahogany's birthday and he's fed up that Rust has forgotten all about it once again.