Television
TV schedule Wednesday 16th September 2015
6am
(repeat)
Never The Twain
Series 5, Episode 3 - Thicker Than WaterSimon divulges the strange secret of his birth to Oliver over a quiet drink and, in doing so, he discovers an even stranger secret that even he didn't know about.
7:20am
(repeat)
Minder
Series 7, Episode 1 - It's A Sorry Lorry MorrieTerry leaves his fingerprints on a stolen lorry while doing a job for Arthur.
7:30am
(repeat)
One Foot In The Grave
Series 2, Episode 4 - Who Will Buy?Unexpected visitors drop in and mistakenly believe Victor has killed an elderly blind man. A charity concert gives Victor the chance to use his ventriloquist's dummy.
8am
(repeat)
Monarch Of The Glen
Series 5, Episode 6Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.
8:20am
(repeat)
Wussywat The Clumsy Cat
Episode 10 - SportyIt's Sports Day in the garden and Wussywat thinks he's no good at any sport.
8:25am
(repeat)
Timmy Time
Spin-off from Shaun The Sheep for the CBeebies channel, featuring Timmy the baby lamb and his friends.
9am
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of three episodes from Britain's longest-running sitcom.
9:35am
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 8 - BehindThe Twirlywoos entertain a baby - and confuse her dad by popping up behind him. Back in the Boat the Drawing Wall draws a wall, with someone unusual hiding behind it.
10:50am
(repeat)
My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.
11:15am
(repeat)
Sooty
Series 2, Episode 4 - Sooty's Space RocketWhen Sooty builds his own space rocket, he is determined to be the first teddy bear on Mars. But when the rocket crash-lands on Mr. Slater's mobile toilet, will all his dreams go down the pan?
11:30am
(repeat)
Sooty
Series 2, Episode 5 - Five Star FishWhen Richard is put in charge of Mr. Slater's five star restaurant, his first customer demands fresh fish. Can Fishermen Sooty and Sweep come to Richard's rescue, or will they catch more than they bargained for? Guest starring Caroline Quentin.
12pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 3, Episode 2 - Shrink RapSusan finds a letter on Michael's desk inviting her and Ben to a school auction - Michael hasn't shown it to them though because he doesn't want them to go as they are too embarrassing. At the auction Susan bids for nearly everything including a therapy session for couples. Also, Ben finds himself bidding for his own gift when a patient with very bad breath bids for his free dental treatment!
12:30pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 21 - Bean PhoneMr Bean wants a smart phone but they are too expensive - especially when you can build your own!
12:40pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 3, Episode 3 - Desperately Squeaking SusanSusan, still missing Janey, decides that she needs some female company and so invites Abi, the daughter of a hated cousin of Ben's, to dinner. Ben, as usual, is against her idea. Abi turns out to be the most accident-prone, clumsy person you could meet... qualities that make her someone who Ben would like to never see again. He'll just have to get used to her though because Susan invites her to come and live with them!
12:45pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 9 - No PetsMr Bean decides he needs some new and exciting friends in the shape of pets.
1pm
(repeat)
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 5, Episode 10 - My Heart Belongs To DaddyWhen Gary's past catches up with his present, he wonders what, if anything, might lie in his and Phoebe's future.
1:15pm
(repeat)
Horrible Science
Episode 1 - Deadly DiseasesThis episode coughs up the disgusting details of snot, sneezes and viruses, from the cruel common cold to shocking smallpox.
1:20pm
(repeat)
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 2, Episode 4Hyacinth and Richard take a weekend golfing break with the Major.
1:35pm
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 8 - BehindThe Twirlywoos entertain a baby - and confuse her dad by popping up behind him. Back in the Boat the Drawing Wall draws a wall, with someone unusual hiding behind it.
1:35pm
(repeat)
The Time Of His Life
A repeat of this 1955 film.
1:40pm
(repeat)
A Fine Romance
Gentle sitcom about the begrudging and at times difficult romance between two individuals; a translator and a gardener.
2pm
(repeat)
One Foot In The Grave
Series 2, Episode 4 - Who Will Buy?Unexpected visitors drop in and mistakenly believe Victor has killed an elderly blind man. A charity concert gives Victor the chance to use his ventriloquist's dummy.
2:05pm
(repeat)
My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.
2:20pm
(repeat)
Birds Of A Feather
Series 9, Episode 2 - Mummies & DaddiesAs Tracey and Sharon leave the ante-natal class they bump into a pregnant Kimberley.
2:30pm
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 6, Episode 4 - Demon Barber II (Turbo)Sean invents a video game that seems destined to put his father out of business.
2:40pm
(repeat)
Open All Hours
Series 1, Episode 4 - Beware Of The DogA local crime wave scares the wites out of an already security-obsessed Arkwright - there's nothing for it, the shop has to be fortified!
2:50pm
(repeat)
2:55pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 3, Episode 15 - The SnapshotThe Farmer wants a family photo and instructs Bitzer to gather all the animals together. Getting them all to stand still at the same time is more than they can manage and Shaun discovers he's cut out of the shot. Bitzer can't bear to have his friend left out so the pair set out to find a solution.
3pm
(repeat)
Monarch Of The Glen
Series 5, Episode 6Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.
3pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 3, Episode 16 - Pickly HeatIt's a scorching hot day on the farm and the Flock need to cool off. When Bitzer discovers the Sheep Dip is out of action the Flock have to come up with another plan. Meanwhile, the Farmer has his own ideas for cooling off, which don't impress Bitzer at all.
3:20pm
(repeat)
Open All Hours
Series 1, Episode 5 - Well Catered FuneralHis best friend's funeral tests Arkwright's generosity to a painfull degree.
3:55pm
(repeat)
Boj
Episode 39 - The Giggly DigBoj digs up Mr Cloppity's old time capsule. Now his buddies want their own to bury. When they miss their buried treasures, Boj finds one thing they can all bury together.
4pm
(repeat)
Never The Twain
Series 5, Episode 4 - Kung WhoOliver has accepted Simon's challenge to take up judo but he has absolutely no idea about martial arts. He is in for a big surprise if he continues to believe that a karate chop is some kind of Japanese cutlet!
4pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 17, Episode 1 - Leaving Home Forever, Or Till TeatimeHoward finds that lipstick on his collar is a sure way of becoming homeless.
4:15pm15 min
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 26 - Taxi BeanMr Bean takes a taxi to his local toy shop, but a dodgy cabbie thinks he can take Bean for a ride. After a mix-up Mr Bean finds himself driving the taxi.
4:30pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 10 - Ray Of SunshineMr Bean is in pursuit of sunshine but only manages to cause chaos on the beach!
4:35pm
(repeat)
On The Buses
Series 7, Episode 5 - The Football MatchThe depot establishes a football team, and with the promise of £5 for each player should they win their upcoming match, Stan's keen to join - even with Blakey as trainer. But when the star player is injured, they face a much bigger challenge than imagined!
4:40pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 17, Episode 2 - Bicycle BonanzaFoggy's decision to go trekking across the moors coincides with Auntie Wainwright's special offer of grocery delivery bicycles.
5:10pm
(repeat)
In Loving Memory
Series 1, Episode 3 - Gone DancingDating an undertaker puts the girls off. Then Billy meets the ideal girl at a tea dance, and finds he no longer requires Ernie's "wisdom".
5:20pm
(repeat)
Fawlty Towers
Series 2, Episode 3 - Waldorf SaladBasil gets himself in a fluster when a rather abrupt American guest arrives at the hotel. His English wife is rather more relaxed, but after confusion with the evening meal, temperaments soon change all-round.
5:20pm
(repeat)
Gigglebiz
Series 3, Episode 23Pantomime dame Nana Knickerbocker thinks she's in the panto Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, newsreader Arthur Sleep has some fun with his studio chair and Will Singalot annoys Robin Hood with his singing when he tries to impress Maid Marion with his archery skills.
6pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 3, Episode 2 - Shrink RapSusan finds a letter on Michael's desk inviting her and Ben to a school auction - Michael hasn't shown it to them though because he doesn't want them to go as they are too embarrassing. At the auction Susan bids for nearly everything including a therapy session for couples. Also, Ben finds himself bidding for his own gift when a patient with very bad breath bids for his free dental treatment!
6pm
(repeat)
A Fine Romance
Gentle sitcom about the begrudging and at times difficult romance between two individuals; a translator and a gardener.
6:25pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 2, Episode 7 - Hair Today, Gone TomorrowThe farmer gets ready for a date and wants to look his best, so it's time to dust off his prized hairpiece. Shaun can't resist trying the wig on but loses it while showing off to the flock. The race is on as Shaun and Bitzer try to return the wig in time for the farmer's big night.
6:40pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 3, Episode 3 - Desperately Squeaking SusanSusan, still missing Janey, decides that she needs some female company and so invites Abi, the daughter of a hated cousin of Ben's, to dinner. Ben, as usual, is against her idea. Abi turns out to be the most accident-prone, clumsy person you could meet... qualities that make her someone who Ben would like to never see again. He'll just have to get used to her though because Susan invites her to come and live with them!
6:40pm
(repeat)
As Time Goes By
Series 9, Episode 4 - What Now?Alistair and Judith are now married, but will Harry pluck up the courage and ask Sandy to join him in Canada? Meanwhile, in the Hardcastle household, Jean has taken pity on a homeless girl named Dave - but Lionel is not entirely sure about her new friend.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 2, Episode 4Hyacinth and Richard take a weekend golfing break with the Major.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 5, Episode 10 - My Heart Belongs To DaddyWhen Gary's past catches up with his present, he wonders what, if anything, might lie in his and Phoebe's future.
8pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 5 - Ways And MeansAfter offering advice to fellow fishing-net "knitter" McLaren on curbing his short temper, Fletch attempts to make amends with the governor when McLaren forgoes angry outbursts for a more peaceful rooftop protest.
8pm
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 6, Episode 4 - Demon Barber II (Turbo)Sean invents a video game that seems destined to put his father out of business.
8pm
(repeat)
QI
A selection of episodes from Series C of the world's cleverest and most interesting panel game.
8:40pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 6 - Men Without WomenFletcher has been offering his advice to his fellow prisoners on the topic of romance. Letters written home result in a visiting room full of wives and sweethearts, but Fletcher's visitor is his eldest daughter. Should he be following his own advice?
9pm
(repeat)
Duck Quacks Don't Echo
Series 3, Episode 3Lee Mack welcomes comedian Jimmy Carr, The Kaiser Chiefs' Ricky Wilson and TV presenter Jameela Jamil to join his fun and fact-filled panel show.
9pm
(repeat)
Bad Education
Series 1, Episode 4 - School TripBanned from organising his own trip after a disastrous previous outing, Alfie's class are sent on Miss Gulliver's field trip to a combined petting zoo and ink museum.
9pm
(repeat)
Drifters
Series 1, Episode 3 - Work ExperienceWhilst Laura suspects she's being cheated on and Bunny feels ignored, Meg gets an internship at local radio station Pennine Hits.
9pm
(repeat)
Through The Keyhole
Series 3, Episode 3Keith Lemon hosts the classic game show. On the panel this time are talk show legend Jerry Springer, presenter Tess Daly and comedian Paddy McGuinness.
9:20pm
(repeat)
Not Going Out
Series 2, Episode 7 - GangsterGuy showers Lucy with expensive gifts and whisks her away for a weekend, arousing Lee's suspicions.
9:30pm
(repeat)
Drifters
Series 1, Episode 4 - Dry RunBunny and Laura are astonished and appalled to find out that Meg hasn't had sex in almost a year. They convince her to go on a "dry run" with someone she doesn't really fancy that much.
10pm
(repeat)
Fawlty Towers
Series 2, Episode 4 - The Kipper And The CorpseEvery hotelier's worst nightmare: a stiff in one of the rooms. Basil's initially concerned as to whether the late Mr Leeman had started his breakfast, but his mind soon turns to clearing the room as soon as possible.
10pm
(repeat)
Lee Evans - Big - Live At The O2
A TV broadcast of Lee Evans's record-breaking tour, which played to over half a million fans across the UK. Infectious stand-up from the top comic.
10pm
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 2 (Channel 4: Series 3), Episode 2Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by Miles Jupp and Aisling Bea. Countdown regular Susie Dent has help from Nick Helm.
10pm
(repeat)
Ali G In Da USAiii
Ali G takes his brand of interview to the US.
10pm
(repeat)
Mock The Week
Series 13, Highlights SpecialDara O Briain and the team present a special end of series show featuring new material, out-takes and favourite bits.
10pm30 min
Top Coppers
Episode 5 - The Escape Of Vince RustRust's identical twin brother Vince escapes from Justice City penitentiary with a devious plan to swap places with Rust and infiltrate the JCPD. Meanwhile, it's Mahogany's birthday and he's fed up that Rust has forgotten all about it once again.
10:30pm
(repeat)
Bad Education
Series 3, Episode 3 - Sports DayIt's Abbey Grove sports day. Fraser has hired the most inappropriate new sports teacher to oversee events - Preet.
10:40pm
(repeat)
Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish
Series 3, Episode 2 - The Veneer Of CivilisationModern life has a lot to answer for as Mr Gorman gives it a grilling. Dave laments the death of the queue and considers ATM etiquette.
10:45pm
(repeat)
Holy Flying Circus
Dramatisation of the blasphemy row that surrounded the film Monty Python's Life Of Brian.
11pm
(repeat)
Rotters
Slapstick comedy observing a team of idiot robbers who attempt to rob an auction house.
11pm
(repeat)
Birds Of A Feather
Series 9, Episode 2 - Mummies & DaddiesAs Tracey and Sharon leave the ante-natal class they bump into a pregnant Kimberley.
11:05pm
(repeat)
Mountain Goats
Episode 5 - LoverJimmy falls madly in love with a fiery woman. After a whirlwind romance that baffles and sickens the others, Jimmy moves too fast and accidentally kneels on a drawing pin.
11:40pm
(repeat)
Would I Lie To You?
Series 7, Episode 5In this episode, David Mitchell is joined by Susan Calman and Richard Osman, and Lee Mack is joined by Carol Kirkwood and David O'Doherty.
Midnight
(repeat)
Ali G In Da USAiii
A selection of three episodes form the first series of Sacha Baron Cohen's trips to America.
12:20am
(repeat)
Would I Lie To You?
Series 7, Episode 6In this episode, David Mitchell is joined by Sarah Millican and Jon Richardson, and Lee Mack is joined by David Harewood and Bob Mortimer.
12:30am
(repeat)
Nixon's The One
Episode 2 - SecretsPresident Nixon turns his attention to the problem of J Edgar Hoover.
12:30am
(repeat)
Top Coppers
Episode 5 - The Escape Of Vince RustRust's identical twin brother Vince escapes from Justice City penitentiary with a devious plan to swap places with Rust and infiltrate the JCPD. Meanwhile, it's Mahogany's birthday and he's fed up that Rust has forgotten all about it once again.
12:40am
(repeat)
Men Behaving Badly
Series 6, Christmas Special - Jingle B***s!Flat share sitcom following security salesman Gary and his lodger, as they attempt to navigate the opposite sex.
1am
(repeat)
QI
A selection of episodes from Series C of the world's cleverest and most interesting panel game.
1:05am
(repeat)
Fake Reaction
Series 2, Episode 2Guests facing electric shock pole dancing and various animal-related distractions are Geordie Shore's Charlotte Crosby, Radio 1 DJ Gemma Cairney, comedian Ivo Graham and larger-than-life dancer Louie Spence.
1:10am
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 2 (Channel 4: Series 3), Episode 2Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by Miles Jupp and Aisling Bea. Countdown regular Susie Dent has help from Nick Helm.
1:30am
(repeat)
Big Bad World
Episode 1Ben returns to his home town of Great Yarmouth after university only to discover his ex-girlfriend Lucy has a new boyfriend and his parents have destroyed his bedroom.
1:40am
(repeat)
Not Going Out
Series 2, Episode 7 - GangsterGuy showers Lucy with expensive gifts and whisks her away for a weekend, arousing Lee's suspicions.
2:15am
(repeat)
Holy Flying Circus
Dramatisation of the blasphemy row that surrounded the film Monty Python's Life Of Brian.
3am
(repeat)
Big Bad World
Episode 1Ben returns to his home town of Great Yarmouth after university only to discover his ex-girlfriend Lucy has a new boyfriend and his parents have destroyed his bedroom.
3:25am
(repeat)
Dirty Sexy Funny: Olivia Lee
A hidden camera prank show for Comedy Central starring Olivia Lee. Features stunts, scripted sketches and setups.