Television
TV schedule Wednesday 9th September 2015
6am
(repeat)
Never The Twain
Series 4, Episode 3 - No Flame Like An Old FlameSimon's love life hots up when an old flame reappears on the scene.
6:50am
(repeat)
Minder
Series 6, Episode 2 - Life In The Fast Food LaneArthur gets into the car phone business, not realising he is dealing with a dodgy supplier. And Terry fancies a girl who tries to hide her rich family background.
7:30am
(repeat)
One Foot In The Grave
Series 1, Episode 6 - The Return Of The Speckled BandVictor and Margaret are preparing for a holiday to Athens, but first they must cope with Mrs Warboys's bout of food poisoning, a visit from the electricity man and a snake that hitches a ride home with Victor after escaping from its enclosure at the garden centre.
8am
(repeat)
Monarch Of The Glen
Series 5, Episode 1Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.
8:20am
(repeat)
Wussywat The Clumsy Cat
Episode 3 - JumpyWussywat discovers a frog in the garden and learns how to jump, although he can't jump as far as Oggy and Duckadile.
8:25am
(repeat)
Timmy Time
Spin-off from Shaun The Sheep for the CBeebies channel, featuring Timmy the baby lamb and his friends.
9am
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 15th and 16th series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
9:35am
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 3 - Round And RoundThe Twirlywoos are in a park where they watch a little girl and her dad playing on a roundabout. Back in the boat, the Twirlywoos are visited by the Stop-Go Car, who they chase round and round in circles.
10am
(repeat)
The Darling Buds Of May
Comedy drama series about H.E. Bates's eccentric Larkin family.
10:50am
(repeat)
My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.
11:15am
(repeat)
Sooty
Series 1, Episode 19 - Beach PatrolMr Slater has put Richard in charge of the beach and the gang decide to join him. After jumping on the bouncy castle Sooty, Sweep and Soo meet a friendly sand sculptor and have a sandcastle-building competition - but poor Richard ends up in deep water. With special guest star Frank Bruno.
11:30am
(repeat)
Sooty
Series 1, Episode 20 - The New PosterRichard is set to lose his job if business doesn't improve. Sooty and Sweep decide to make some new posters to advertise Slater's Holidays - but this means tricking Richard into having his photograph taken at the worst possible moment. What will the guests think of the disastrous results?
12pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 2, Episode 5 - Death And Ben Take A HolidayThe funeral of Ben's 93-year-old aunt Margaret brings the family together. They are forced to share a bed at a rundown Bed and Breakfast, while Nick tries to spend the night with the hotel maid Rita.
12:30pm
(repeat)
Crooks In Cloisters
Film about a band of London thieves who decides to make a strategic retreat to a Cornish monastery.
12:30pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 15 - Super SpyMr Bean is obsessed by his TV hero Super Spy and is excited when his very own Super Spy kit arrives in the post. While Mr Bean is pretending to be his favourite character, and delighting in all his gadgets, he spots some unusual goings on in the Bruisers' house next door. Naturally Mr Bean assumes the worst and sets out to rectify the situation.
12:40pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 2, Episode 6 - Driving Miss CrazyBen's latest assistant faints at the sight of blood! Also in this episode Janey is getting ready to take her driving test and Ben and his next door neighbour Mr Casey start a war.
12:45pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 6 - Bean's BountyA local archaeology dig inspires Mr Bean to go hunting for treasure.
1pm
(repeat)
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 5, Episode 5 - Pennies From HeavenWith a financial crisis looming, Gary has to do what he promised he would never do - interfere with history. But history bites back.
1:20pm
(repeat)
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 1, Episode 5Hyacinth's social standing at a church function is jeopardised when Daisy takes a toyboy and tries to encourage Onslow to become more ardent.
1:35pm
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 3 - Round And RoundThe Twirlywoos are in a park where they watch a little girl and her dad playing on a roundabout. Back in the boat, the Twirlywoos are visited by the Stop-Go Car, who they chase round and round in circles.
1:40pm
(repeat)
A Fine Romance
Gentle sitcom about the begrudging and at times difficult romance between two individuals; a translator and a gardener.
2pm
(repeat)
One Foot In The Grave
Series 1, Episode 6 - The Return Of The Speckled BandVictor and Margaret are preparing for a holiday to Athens, but first they must cope with Mrs Warboys's bout of food poisoning, a visit from the electricity man and a snake that hitches a ride home with Victor after escaping from its enclosure at the garden centre.
2:05pm
(repeat)
My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.
2:20pm
(repeat)
Birds Of A Feather
Series 8, Episode 3 - The Maids Of OngarDorien's offer to invest in Sharon and Tracey's business is turned down.
2:30pm
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 5, Episode 12 - A Matter Of Life And DeathLee's health hangs in the balance after a routine health check.
2:40pm
(repeat)
Open All Hours
Series 1, Episode 2 - A Matress On WheelsArkwright's always been dead against getting a van, until Granville points out the advantages of taking a lady friend for a drive.
2:50pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 3, Episode 5 - The CrowIt's late in the day as Bitzer rounds up the Flock for bedtime. They prepare themselves for a good night's sleep. Alas, a noisy intruder scuppers their plans. The Flock just find an inventive way to get rid of the pest if they are ever going to get a good night's rest.
2:55pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 3, Episode 6 - The FugitiveShaun is in serious trouble when the Farmer discovers he's the cake thief that has sabotaged his baked goods. When another Farmer arrives and begins negotiations with the Farmer, Shaun fears the worst. Is this the end of our hero's time on Mossybottom Farm?
3pm
(repeat)
Monarch Of The Glen
Series 5, Episode 1Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.
3:20pm
(repeat)
Open All Hours
Series 1, Episode 3 - A Nice Cosy Little DiseasePerhaps a nice cosy little disease on Arkwright's part would be the thing to attract the ministrations of a certain district nurse?
4pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 16, Episode 1 - The Glory HoleFoggy commandeers a bit of wartime nostalgia in the shape of a hole in the road, which has been abandoned by the council. Despite Compo and Clegg's lack of interest, he lays claim to an old siren which he then exchanges for a genuine cedar flagpole.
4:05pm
(repeat)
In Loving Memory
Series 5, Episode 5 - King Of The MountainsThe strenuous Northern sport of fell running is a boon for the undertaking trade, but ignites a fresh round in the long-running war between the Unsworths and the Pardoes - and Hilda will not be playing nicely!
4:15pm15 min
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 21 - Bean PhoneMr Bean wants a smart phone but they are too expensive - especially when you can build your own!
4:30pm
(repeat)
Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 3 - Artful BeanMr Bean gets a real bug for painting. Then several bugs ... and flies and slugs and mice.
4:40pm
(repeat)
Never The Twain
Series 4, Episode 4 - Loves' Neighbours' LostIn their rivalry for Caroline's hand, could Simon and Oliver be overlooking a third prospect for her affections?
4:40pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 16, Episode 2 - Adopted By A StrayCompo, Clegg and Foggy are delighted to be given an old van.... until they find out what is inside.
4:45pm
(repeat)
Boj
Episode 34 - Still As StatuesBoj finds Mia upset because her paintings of the Twitchlets are ruined - they were meant to be a birthday present for her mum. Can Boj help Mia to make a new present?
5:10pm
(repeat)
On The Buses
Series 6, Episode 6 - Bye Bye BlakeyWhilst the company puts all employees through a medical, Stand and Jack overhear Blakey tell the doctor this his "days are numbered", and, overcome with remorse with the way they have treated the inspector in the past, swear to be kind to him during his last few hours on Earth...
5:20pm
(repeat)
Fawlty Towers
Series 1, Episode 2 - The BuildersBasil's drive to save money gets the better of him when he hires the lowest quoting builder, a cowboy by the name of O'Reilly, to refurbish the lobby, rather than Sybil's choice, the respected and trustworthy Mr Stubbs.
5:40pm
(repeat)
The Darling Buds Of May
Comedy drama series about H.E. Bates's eccentric Larkin family.
6pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 2, Episode 5 - Death And Ben Take A HolidayThe funeral of Ben's 93-year-old aunt Margaret brings the family together. They are forced to share a bed at a rundown Bed and Breakfast, while Nick tries to spend the night with the hotel maid Rita.
6pm
(repeat)
A Fine Romance
Gentle sitcom about the begrudging and at times difficult romance between two individuals; a translator and a gardener.
6:40pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 2, Episode 6 - Driving Miss CrazyBen's latest assistant faints at the sight of blood! Also in this episode Janey is getting ready to take her driving test and Ben and his next door neighbour Mr Casey start a war.
6:40pm
(repeat)
As Time Goes By
Series 8, Episode 5 - Future ImperfectAfter Lionel's financial fears, Alistair suggests he sells the house in Hampshire. Salvation to the dilemma comes from an unlikely quarter.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 1, Episode 5Hyacinth's social standing at a church function is jeopardised when Daisy takes a toyboy and tries to encourage Onslow to become more ardent.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 5, Episode 5 - Pennies From HeavenWith a financial crisis looming, Gary has to do what he promised he would never do - interfere with history. But history bites back.
8pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 3 - A Night InGodber moves into the bottom bunk in Fletcher's cell. Unable to sleep, the two spend the night discussing their hopes, fears, and the lives they left outside.
8pm
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 5, Episode 12 - A Matter Of Life And DeathLee's health hangs in the balance after a routine health check.
8pm
(repeat)
QI
A selection of episodes from Series C of the world's cleverest and most interesting panel game.
8:40pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 4 - A Day OutFletcher and Godber join MacKay and Barrowclough's work party, digging drainage ditches for the council. When MacKay calls into the village, the party take advantage of Barrowclough's easygoing nature, but get more than they bargained for after taking shelter from the elements in a church.
9pm
(repeat)
Duck Quacks Don't Echo
Series 3, Episode 2Jonathan Ross, Dara O Briain and Alex Jones attempt to out-fact each other as startling theories are put to the test in Lee Mack's riotous panel show.
9pm
(repeat)
Bad Education
Series 1, Episode 3 - Self DefenceWhen Miss Gulliver raises concern about a popular but extremely violent new videogame, Alfie helps her to organise a school weapons amnesty.
9pm
(repeat)
Drifters
Series 1, Episode 3 - Work ExperienceWhilst Laura suspects she's being cheated on and Bunny feels ignored, Meg gets an internship at local radio station Pennine Hits.
9pm
(repeat)
Through The Keyhole
Series 3, Episode 2Deducing the clues this week are pop star Kimberley Walsh, chat-show host Jonathan Ross and presenter Andi Peters.
9:20pm
(repeat)
The Catherine Tate Show
Series 1, Episode 3Bernie welcomes a new co-worker, an American girl explains a meaningful conversation with a man and the scared woman is scared again.
9:30pm
(repeat)
Drifters
Series 1, Episode 4 - Dry RunBunny and Laura are astonished and appalled to find out that Meg hasn't had sex in almost a year. They convince her to go on a "dry run" with someone she doesn't really fancy that much.
10pm
(repeat)
Fawlty Towers
Series 1, Episode 3 - The Wedding PartyA group of guests arriving at the hotel in preparation for a nearby wedding raise Basil's anger levels when he mistakes them for swingers and sex addicts.
10pm
(repeat)
Michael McIntyre's Showtime
TV broadcast of Michael McIntyre's number one best-selling 2012 stand-up DVD.
10pm50 min version (repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 16, Episode 8Sean and Jon are joined in their quest to uncover the public's most popular talking points by celebrity guests Freddie Flintoff, Lorraine Kelly, Josh Widdicombe and Rob Beckett.
10pm
(repeat)
Ali G In Da USAiii
Ali G takes his brand of interview to the US.
10pm
(repeat)
10pm
(repeat)
Mock The Week
Series 14, Episode 11Rob Beckett, Ed Byrne, Milton Jones, Ed Gamble and Holly Walsh are the guests this week.
10pm30 min
Top Coppers
Episode 4 - The Twist Of The French NickerThe world's greatest art thief, Gerard Cliché, is in town. Meanwhile, Mahogany and Rust are out to win The Golden Doughnut, the prize for the best crime fighting duo. It's safely in the bag... providing their rivals Romero and Byrne don't turn up.
10:30pm
(repeat)
Ruby Robinson
Slapstick comedy starring Kim Cattrall as a woman who lives in an isolated house with a team of acrobat helpers.
10:30pm
(repeat)
Bad Education
Series 3, Episode 2 - After School ClubsMitchell announces he's leaving, and a farewell party is on the cards - plus a few pranks. Alfie's more concerned with impressing Miss Gulliver's new book club, of which her ex boyfriend is a member.
10:40pm
(repeat)
Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish
Series 3, Episode 1 - Why Are There Still Chickens?Dave Gorman flips his lid and his laptop open to ponder modern life. Dave conducts a live experiment with over a thousand eggs!
10:40pm
(repeat)
Through The Keyhole
Series 3, Episode 2Deducing the clues this week are pop star Kimberley Walsh, chat-show host Jonathan Ross and presenter Andi Peters.
10:45pm
(repeat)
Monty Python's Best Bits (Mostly)
Episode 4A celebration of all things Python. Bill Bailey, Harry Shearer and Kate Beckinsale are among those paying tribute, while classic clips include The Lumberjack Song.
11pm
(repeat)
The Kumars
Episode 6Before shutting up shop - quite literally - the Kumars fire one last lot of questions at A League of Their Own favourite James Corden, Monty Python legend and Oscar-nominated writer and director Terry Gilliam and 60s supermodel Twiggy. Bollywood sensation Ash King heads to the most happening place in Hounslow for a performance as well.
11pm
(repeat)
Birds Of A Feather
Series 8, Episode 3 - The Maids Of OngarDorien's offer to invest in Sharon and Tracey's business is turned down.
11:05pm
(repeat)
Through The Keyhole
Series 3, Episode 2Deducing the clues this week are pop star Kimberley Walsh, chat-show host Jonathan Ross and presenter Andi Peters.
11:05pm
(repeat)
Mountain Goats
Episode 4 - FamousJimmy accidentally becomes famous, which brings on a fevered campaign of freeloading - irking Jules no end.
11:25pm
(repeat)
The Young Ones
Series 1, Episode 6 - FloodIt's raining cats and dogs - literally. Unfortunately, there's no food in the house and whilst trying to busy themselves, none of the housemates notice London flooding around them...
11:40pm
(repeat)
Would I Lie To You?
Series 7, Episode 3Joan Bakewell, Warwick Davis, Paul Hollywood and Jason Manford are the guests in this episode.
11:45pm
(repeat)
Midnight
(repeat)
Nixon's The One
Episode 1 - HenryHarry Shearer stars as President Nixon in a comedy drama revealing the extraordinary conversations that took place during his tenure.
12:10am
(repeat)
Outnumbered
Series 1, Episode 4Ben's fibbing goes to a whole new level as parents at a school football match begin to compliment dad on his friendship with Gordon Brown and his SAS training.
12:20am
(repeat)
Would I Lie To You?
Series 7, Episode 4Lee Mack and David Mitchell are joined by Matt Dawson, Mel Giedroyc, Josh Widdicombe and Dermot O'Leary.
12:20am
(repeat)
Safeword
Series 1, Episode 7Dragons' Den's Hilary Devey goes head to head with Big Brother's Brian Belo. The guests are Bobby Mair and Vikki Stone.
12:30am
(repeat)
Top Coppers
Episode 4 - The Twist Of The French NickerThe world's greatest art thief, Gerard Cliché, is in town. Meanwhile, Mahogany and Rust are out to win The Golden Doughnut, the prize for the best crime fighting duo. It's safely in the bag... providing their rivals Romero and Byrne don't turn up.
12:45am
(repeat)
Knowing Me, Knowing You... With Alan Partridge
Special - Knowing, Knowing Me, Knowing YouMockumentary going behind-the-scenes at Peartree Productions, Alan's production company.
12:45am
(repeat)
Black Books
Series 3, Episode 1 - Manny Come HomeFran returns from another holiday to find that Manny and Bernard are leading (almost) separate lives.
1am
(repeat)
QI
A selection of episodes from Series C of the world's cleverest and most interesting panel game.
1:15am
(repeat)
Black Books
Series 3, Episode 2 - Elephants And HensFran is invited on a hen weekend leaving Bernard and Manny to write a best-selling children's book.
1:30am
(repeat)
Threesome
Series 2, Episode 4 - PhotographAlice, Mitch and Richie decide a family portrait is needed to capture this new phase of their lives. Security guard Mr Scrutton has other ideas. Guest starring Bill Bailey.
1:30am
(repeat)
Fake Reaction
Series 2, Episode 1The guests are Helen Flanagan, Marlon Davis, former Westlife member Brian McFadden and his wife, model and DJ Vogue Williams.
1:45am
(repeat)
The Royle Family
Series 3, Christmas Special - The Royle Family At ChristmasIt's Christmas Day, and Baby David's first birthday. It's also the Royles' first opportunity to meet Emma's parents, who leave Jim with a sour taste in the mouth. However, an unexpected present soon puts a smile back on his hairy face.
2:05am
(repeat)
Minder
Series 6, Episode 2 - Life In The Fast Food LaneArthur gets into the car phone business, not realising he is dealing with a dodgy supplier. And Terry fancies a girl who tries to hide her rich family background.
2:20am
(repeat)
Monty Python's Best Bits (Mostly)
Episode 3Simon Pegg, Paul Whitehouse, Charlie Higson and Dara O Briain are among those celebrating some fine Python moments, from Nudge Nudge to The Meaning Of Life.
2:55am
(repeat)
The Young Ones
Series 1, Episode 6 - FloodIt's raining cats and dogs - literally. Unfortunately, there's no food in the house and whilst trying to busy themselves, none of the housemates notice London flooding around them...
3am
(repeat)
Threesome
Series 2, Episode 4 - PhotographAlice, Mitch and Richie decide a family portrait is needed to capture this new phase of their lives. Security guard Mr Scrutton has other ideas. Guest starring Bill Bailey.
3:25am
(repeat)
Grouchy Young Men
Young male celebrities, including many comics, bitch and complain about life in modern Britain.
3:30am
(repeat)
Outnumbered
Series 1, Episode 4Ben's fibbing goes to a whole new level as parents at a school football match begin to compliment dad on his friendship with Gordon Brown and his SAS training.