Television
TV schedule Tuesday 8th September 2015
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Never The Twain
Series 4, Episode 2 - Words And MusicCaroline rashly asks Simon and Oliver to supply the entertainment for her charity luncheon.
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Minder
Series 6, Episode 1 - Give Us This Day Arthur Daley's BreadArthur digs a very large hole for himself when he recruits some ex-cons as cheap labour for his landscape gardening enterprise. A spate of local burglaries soon brings Chisholm on to the scene.
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One Foot In The Grave
Series 1, Episode 5 - The Eternal QuadrangleMargaret worries that Victor might be having an affair, so she retaliates by spending more time with her friend, Mr. Wharton.
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Monarch Of The Glen
Series 4, Episode 10Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.
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Wussywat The Clumsy Cat
Episode 2 - KiteWussywat manages to muddy up Ird's washing. How will he get it clean again? With a kite, Duckadile's bath bubbles and the wind, of course!
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Timmy Time
Spin-off from Shaun The Sheep for the CBeebies channel, featuring Timmy the baby lamb and his friends.
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Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of three episodes from Britain's longest-running sitcom.
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Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 2 - UnderneathThe Twirlywoos learn about underneath when they visit a hat shop. Back in the boat, the Box brings a rainbow for the Twirlywoos to dance underneath.
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The Darling Buds Of May
Comedy drama series about H.E. Bates's eccentric Larkin family.
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My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.
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Sooty
Series 1, Episode 17 - Chocco ChimpThe prizes have disappeared from Mr Slater's new crazy golf course, and Richard is puzzled. Then the famous detectives Sherlock Sooty and Doctor Watsit are called in to investigate - and set a trap to catch the thief. Guest starring Matthew Corbett.
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Sooty
Series 1, Episode 18 - Who's A Clever Bird?Richard has booked a circus to entertain the guests but it hasn't arrived, so Sooty asks the owner of the bird garden to save the day with his clever budgies.
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My Family
Series 2, Episode 3 - Parisian BeautyBen is convinced the French exchange student they're housing, Sylvie, is eyeing him up... but who does she really fancy him? Michael is horrified when he discovers he'll have to share a room with Nick!
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Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 14 - Viral BeanMr Bean is trying to find a nice quiet place to read his book so he sets off for the library. There he is distracted by some funny online videos on the library computer. Before he knows it, Mr Bean is recording his own video, which is uploaded for everyone to see. Things start to go crazy when people check it out and his popularity takes off. Will he enjoy being in the public eye and how long will his celebrity last?
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My Family
Series 2, Episode 4 - Trust Never SleepsBen has yet another new assistant, this latest one was dumped by her dentist husband.
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Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 5 - No ParkingMr Bean takes his teddy to the cinema but has trouble finding a parking space.

Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 5, Episode 4 - Mairzy DoatsTo Ron, the past is an adventure playground. But his attempts to play James Bond put Gary in danger.
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Keeping Up Appearances
Series 1, Episode 4Hyacinth is at her wit's end, what with the charity shop, Councillor Nugent, Rose's love life - and Daddy's! Can she cope?
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Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 2 - UnderneathThe Twirlywoos learn about underneath when they visit a hat shop. Back in the boat, the Box brings a rainbow for the Twirlywoos to dance underneath.
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A Fine Romance
Gentle sitcom about the begrudging and at times difficult romance between two individuals; a translator and a gardener.
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Only Fools And Horses
A selection of episodes from the first series of Britain's most popular sitcom.
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My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.

Birds Of A Feather
Series 8, Episode 2 - The Essex PatientTracey's enthusiasm for the cleaning business is not shared by Sharon, who is feeling distinctly under the weather.
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Shaun The Sheep
Series 3, Episode 3 - The ShepherdTorrential rain threatens to ruin the annual Sheep Dog trials, but the Farmer begs the judges for an opportunity to show off his talented Flock. Things go smoothly until Timmy tries to learn to whistle... Will this stop the Farmer winning another cup to add to his prize collection?
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Shaun The Sheep
Series 3, Episode 4 - You Missed A BitThe Farmer expects the windows of his farmhouse to be spotless, so Bitzer calls on the services of the Flock to help him clean them. He quickly discovers that they don't always work very well as a team when chaos breaks out. Will Bitzer be able to clear up the mess before The Farmer returns?
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Monarch Of The Glen
Series 4, Episode 10Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.
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Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of three episodes from Britain's longest-running sitcom.
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In Loving Memory
Series 5, Episode 4 - The Second Time AroundWhen Ivy gets the family photo album out, Mary's in for a shock. The revelation that Billy has been married in the past takes quite some explaining!
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Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 20 - Wedding DayMr Bean has to get the bride to the church on time - any way he can!
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Carry On Behind
Saucy British comedy with the Carry On crew, set on a caravan campsite where a Roman settlement has been discovered.
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Mr Bean
Series 1, Episode 6 - Bean's BountyA local archaeology dig inspires Mr Bean to go hunting for treasure.
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Dani's Castle
Series 3, Episode 10 - Stupid CupidJimmy finally returns from his street dance world tour and Clare is so excited to have him that they decide to go on a picnic date.
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Boj
Episode 33 - Fun And GamesPoor Denzil keeps ruining all his friend's games by knocking everything over. But Boj comes up with a game where it's good to knock things down - Bojey-Bosh Bowling!
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Never The Twain
Series 4, Episode 3 - No Flame Like An Old FlameSimon's love life hots up when an old flame reappears on the scene.
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On The Buses
Series 6, Episode 5 - Union TroubleBlakey's latest tactics - early closing of the canteen and sacking its staff - leads Jack to call a strike; but when management offer him a sweetener the union pulls its backing, leaving Stan to strike alone. He initially stages a bus sit-in, but is soon back at home decorating the kitchen.
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The Darling Buds Of May
Comedy drama series about H.E. Bates's eccentric Larkin family.
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My Family
Series 2, Episode 3 - Parisian BeautyBen is convinced the French exchange student they're housing, Sylvie, is eyeing him up... but who does she really fancy him? Michael is horrified when he discovers he'll have to share a room with Nick!
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A Fine Romance
Gentle sitcom about the begrudging and at times difficult romance between two individuals; a translator and a gardener.
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Shaun The Sheep
Series 2, Episode 2 - Draw The LineThe flock hijack a road line-painting machine and cause chaos while creating giant works of art in the field. However, will farmer appreciate their art?
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My Family
Series 2, Episode 4 - Trust Never SleepsBen has yet another new assistant, this latest one was dumped by her dentist husband.
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As Time Goes By
Series 8, Episode 4 - Surprising NewsPenny and her dentist husband Stephen return from their holiday with an announcement to make. Jean and Lionel are instantly pleased, but is it all it seems?
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Keeping Up Appearances
Series 1, Episode 4Hyacinth is at her wit's end, what with the charity shop, Councillor Nugent, Rose's love life - and Daddy's! Can she cope?

Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 5, Episode 4 - Mairzy DoatsTo Ron, the past is an adventure playground. But his attempts to play James Bond put Gary in danger.
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Open All Hours
Series 1, Episode 2 - A Matress On WheelsArkwright's always been dead against getting a van, until Granville points out the advantages of taking a lady friend for a drive.
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A League Of Their Own
Series 6, Episode 5The bad news is that Red team captain Jamie Redknapp is out of action and on the bench this week, but the good is that his absence is filled by former cricketer Shane Warne, comedian Jason Manford, presenter Gabby Logan and Chelsea's Frank Lampard.

Open All Hours
Series 1, Episode 3 - A Nice Cosy Little DiseasePerhaps a nice cosy little disease on Arkwright's part would be the thing to attract the ministrations of a certain district nurse?
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Live At The Apollo
Series 9, Episode 5 - Jack Whitehall, Katherine Ryan, Rich HallJack Whitehall is joined by Katherine Ryan and Rich Hall.

Not Going Out
Series 1, Episode 4 - StressLee feels stressed after agreeing to give Kate driving lessons, so she suggests he tries yoga to calm his nerves. However, his technique leaves a lot to be desired.

Birds Of A Feather
Series 7, Episode 1 - Stand By Your ManAfter seven years, Darryl and Chris are to be released from prison. Tracey is really happy, Sharon isn't; she doesn't want to see Chris and she thinks she'll have to move out of the house when Darryl returns.
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Fawlty Towers
Series 1, Episode 2 - The BuildersBasil's drive to save money gets the better of him when he hires the lowest quoting builder, a cowboy by the name of O'Reilly, to refurbish the lobby, rather than Sybil's choice, the respected and trustworthy Mr Stubbs.
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Stand Up Central
Series 1, Episode 3Russell talks about kids of yesteryear, happiness, and answers a question on time-travelling masturbation. His guests are Joe Wilkinson and Sofie Hagen.
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Ali G In Da USAiii
Ali G takes his brand of interview to the US.
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Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish
Series 3, Episode 1 - Why Are There Still Chickens?Dave Gorman flips his lid and his laptop open to ponder modern life. Dave conducts a live experiment with over a thousand eggs!
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8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 6 (Channel 4: Series 7), Episode 17Sean Lock and Greg Davies take on Jon Richardson and Holly Walsh. Susie Dent is joined by Vic Reeves in Dictionary Corner, while Rachel Riley looks after the numbers and letters.
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Bad Robots
Series 2, Episode 3Tezcorp is branching out into naughty computer software - we are all reliant on the internet these days so why not try Tezbrowze? Meanwhile Border Control B.O.T. is keeping the Isle and Wight Safe, and the latest Tezcorp release, Hear 2 Stay, is giving members of the public an earful.

Bad Education
Series 1, Episode 3 - Self DefenceWhen Miss Gulliver raises concern about a popular but extremely violent new videogame, Alfie helps her to organise a school weapons amnesty.
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Fried
Episode 3 - Poulet EtcIt has been a slow business day at Seriously Fried Chicken. They discover that they are losing all of their customers to a new upmarket fried chicken van - Poulet Etc - that has just opened around the corner. Mary becomes more desperate to find a way to win back customers.
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Monty Python's Best Bits (Mostly)
Episode 2Stephen Fry, Eddie Izzard and Mike Myers help pay homage to the considerable comic talents of the Monty Python team, with clips from Hell's Grannies to The Life Of Brian.
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Birds Of A Feather
Series 8, Episode 2 - The Essex PatientTracey's enthusiasm for the cleaning business is not shared by Sharon, who is feeling distinctly under the weather.
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Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish
Series 1, Episode 3 - I Is Da QueenMoney is the root of all comedy as Dave considers our love of cash.
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The Young Ones
Series 1, Episode 5 - InterestingA party is arranged, but naturally Neil has no one to invite. Rick's keen to get things off just right, but is at risking of killing the mood. Then the pubs start to close.
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The Royle Family
Series 2, Episode 4Nana's asleep on the sofa, and - surprise, surprise - Jim's in a foul mood again. Antony's love life could already be on the rocks, and next door, Cheryl's joined Weight Watchers.
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Fried
Episode 3 - Poulet EtcIt has been a slow business day at Seriously Fried Chicken. They discover that they are losing all of their customers to a new upmarket fried chicken van - Poulet Etc - that has just opened around the corner. Mary becomes more desperate to find a way to win back customers.
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Ali G In Da USAiii
Ali G takes his brand of interview to the US.
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Ali G In Da USAiii
Ali G takes his brand of interview to the US.
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Threesome
Series 2, Episode 3 - Alice's FriendAlice is getting a little lonely but it doesn't take her long to meet mum-chum Julie. What dark secret is her useless husband Colin hiding? Guest starring Robert Webb.
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Not Going Out
Series 1, Episode 4 - StressLee feels stressed after agreeing to give Kate driving lessons, so she suggests he tries yoga to calm his nerves. However, his technique leaves a lot to be desired.
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Monty Python's Best Bits (Mostly)
Episode 2Stephen Fry, Eddie Izzard and Mike Myers help pay homage to the considerable comic talents of the Monty Python team, with clips from Hell's Grannies to The Life Of Brian.
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The Young Ones
Series 1, Episode 5 - InterestingA party is arranged, but naturally Neil has no one to invite. Rick's keen to get things off just right, but is at risking of killing the mood. Then the pubs start to close.
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Birds Of A Feather
Series 7, Episode 1 - Stand By Your ManAfter seven years, Darryl and Chris are to be released from prison. Tracey is really happy, Sharon isn't; she doesn't want to see Chris and she thinks she'll have to move out of the house when Darryl returns.
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Threesome
Series 2, Episode 3 - Alice's FriendAlice is getting a little lonely but it doesn't take her long to meet mum-chum Julie. What dark secret is her useless husband Colin hiding? Guest starring Robert Webb.
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Agatha Raisin
Agatha Raisin And The Quiche Of Death, Episode 1It's all about the quiche this Christmas in a tasty whodunnit starring Ashley Jensen as Agatha Raisin, a PR whizz caught up in a murder mystery.
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Outnumbered
Series 4, Episode 1The Brockman family have some tough decisions to make about work, video games and who to take to a family funeral. The vicar probably wishes none of them had ever come.
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Grouchy Young Men
Young male celebrities, including many comics, bitch and complain about life in modern Britain.