Television
TV schedule Thursday 30th July 2015
6am
(repeat)
Bottom Knocker Street
Episode 23 - Beware The TachetariansIt all gets a bit hairy when moustache-shaped aliens start attaching themselves to the townsfolk.
6:10am
(repeat)
In Loving Memory
Series 1, Episode 6 - Come Back Little MalcolmThe less-than-honest Mrs Fletcher is forced from her sick bed to bury her husband, Malcolm. But in this business the customer can't complain or ask for a refund. Or can he?
6:15am
(repeat)
Bottom Knocker Street
Episode 19 - Green Hill FarawayCouncillor Cowdrey has approved plans to build a new road right through Noola's Hill. Worst of all, the residents support it, so the kids need to create a distraction to stop it.
7am
(repeat)
My Phone Genie
Episode 6 - Talk to the HairWishing for some confidence in the school debate, Jaz is surprised when Gene gives her hair a mind and uncontrollable attitude of its own.
7:45am
(repeat)
The Two Ronnies
Series 6, Episode 7Hugely popular and long-running sketch show that established Ronnie Corbett and Ronnie Barker as two of the biggest names in British comedy.
8am
(repeat)
Monarch Of The Glen
Series 2, Episode 2Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.
8:20am
(repeat)
Justin's House
Series 2, Episode 9 - Just The PartChris and Pui want to put on a play in Justin Town and Justin's house is the perfect place to do it. Director Chris may have just the part for Justin, who is keen to show off his acting skills.
8:30am
(repeat)
Harry Hill's TV Burp
Series 8, Episode 3This week's episode featured Blanche from Coronation Street proposing some ideas for new BBC Three shows, DI Jack Frost getting his head sliced off going through a revolving door and Harry hitting Mr G Love with a spare car door.
8:45am
(repeat)
Minder
Series 3, Episode 5 - DreamhouseTerry finally gets the chance to taste the high life when he has to mind a singing star's dream home. Arthur, as usual, has other ideas.
8:55am
(repeat)
My Phone Genie
Episode 7 - CheatWhen Jaz wishes for help with her school project Gene downloads a cheat application for her which makes Jaz cheat at everything.
9am
(repeat)
My Family
Series 5, Episode 9 - While You Weren't SleepingThere are problems in the bedroom which threaten to drive Ben and Susan apart. Abi thinks this may be her fault but she develops her own problems as Janey becomes her personal shopper.
9am
(repeat)
Boj
Episode 5 - In The HothouseWhen Mia and Rupa disagree over how to help Mr Cloppity water the plants in his hothouse they break the hose. But Boj invents a game they can all play to get the plants watered. He even creates a little hothouse of his own where Pops's outback marigold, a long way from home, can live happily in Giggly Park.
9am30 min
Hacker Time
Series 5, Episode 4 - Rav WildingFun, chat and music from Hacker T Dog, featuring Hero Squad and Crimewatch presenter Rav Wilding.
9:30am
(repeat)
My Phone Genie
Episode 8 - Pene's Perfect DateGene steps in to help find Pene the perfect date for the school dance - which doesn't go exactly to plan!
9:30am
(repeat)
Wussywat The Clumsy Cat
Episode 3 - JumpyWussywat discovers a frog in the garden and learns how to jump, although he can't jump as far as Oggy and Duckadile.
9:35am10 min
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 4 - InsideThe Twirlywoos see a man putting something inside his tent, and they get carried away putting more and more things inside. Meanwhile, Peekaboo has managed to get stuck inside the teapot. Can Peekaboo get out without being spotted by the Twirlywoos?
9:40am
(repeat)
My Family
Series 5, Episode 10 - Dentist To The StarsOne of Britain's best-loved heartthrobs visits Ben's surgery and although the mere mention of his name sends Susan weak at the knees, Ben is singularly unimpressed - at first. Soon the whole household is in turmoil - except for Michael - who's far too busy making money out of the film crew.
10am
(repeat)
My Phone Genie
Episode 9 - Garage BandJaz, Mobbsy and Naoko form a rock band and with Gene as manager they become an internet sensation!
10:20am
(repeat)
Steptoe And Son
Series 8, Episode 4 - The Seven SteptoeraiAlbert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.
11:30am
(repeat)
My Phone Genie
Episode 10 - The Exciting Life of JazJaz wishes she had a more exciting life - but she doesn't expect Gene to make her life into a reality show with her as the star!
12pm
(repeat)
Harry Hill's TV Burp
Series 8, Episode 5This week's episode featured a sparrow being bullied by a pigeon, Harry getting attacked by a shark, exploding bread, Robert Llewellyn teasing great things on Channel 5's How Do They Do It? and a rolling gorilla called Titus.
12pm
(repeat)
My Phone Genie
Episode 11 - CleverGene grants Jaz a wish to show how smart she can be, but he makes her super-smart at everything - which brings its own problems!
12:30pm
(repeat)
Harry Hill's TV Burp
Series 8, Episode 6This week's episode featured Bruce Forsyth's chin on Channel 5's Secrets Of Egypt: Scorpion King, something exciting happening on Heartbeat and a finger in a steak and kidney pie.
12:55pm
(repeat)
Minder
Series 3, Episode 6 - Another Bride, Another GroomThe shady dealings of a loveable rogue. The last thing Arthur wants to do on his niece's wedding day is shift a consignment of pornographic magazines.
1pm
(repeat)
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 2, Episode 8 - Nice Work If You Can Get ItGary's new career as a 1940s entertainer is taking off, as is his trade in wartime 78s. But can he take the strain of two opening nights in two different eras?
1pm
(repeat)
Going Straight
Episode 5 - Going Going GoneFirst pay packet, some light police baiting and the potential to foil a crime right under his nose. Life is busy for our Fletch. But things are rarely what they seem and Fletch's journey on the straight and narrow may be about to be cut short.
1pm
(repeat)
Boj
Episode 5 - In The HothouseWhen Mia and Rupa disagree over how to help Mr Cloppity water the plants in his hothouse they break the hose. But Boj invents a game they can all play to get the plants watered. He even creates a little hothouse of his own where Pops's outback marigold, a long way from home, can live happily in Giggly Park.
1pm
(repeat)
My Phone Genie
Episode 12 - The PartyGene throws a party in detention and everybody else in the school soon wants to join in!
1:30pm
(repeat)
Wussywat The Clumsy Cat
Episode 3 - JumpyWussywat discovers a frog in the garden and learns how to jump, although he can't jump as far as Oggy and Duckadile.
1:30pm
(repeat)
My Phone Genie
Episode 13 - Double LosersWhen Jaz gives Mobbsy and Naoko each a wish, Naoko ends up as a character in a video game created by Mobbsy - while Mobbsy has his own problems!
1:35pm
(repeat)
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 4 - InsideThe Twirlywoos see a man putting something inside his tent, and they get carried away putting more and more things inside. Meanwhile, Peekaboo has managed to get stuck inside the teapot. Can Peekaboo get out without being spotted by the Twirlywoos?
1:40pm
(repeat)
Three Up, Two Down
Series 3, Episode 7 - Life And DeathDaphne rejects Sams's advice and returns to Cheltenham to find wisdom from a more reliable source.
1:40pm
(repeat)
Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?
Series 1, Episode 11 - Count DownMrs Chambers meticulous planning for Bob and Thelma's wedding is reaching mammoth proportions and, after hearing he has to wear top hat and tails, Terry goads the men into a mini rebellion - and they find an unexpected ally amongst the women.
2:20pm
(repeat)
Birds Of A Feather
Series 5, Episode 11 - An Inspector StaysThe police want to use Tracey and Sharon's home for a surveillance operation.
2:20pm
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
Series 6, Episode 3 - Chain GangWhen offered the deal of the century by a new acquaintance, Del puts together a consortium to help purchase a suitcase full of gold chains. Predictably, the plan goes catastrophically wrong.
2:30pm
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 3, Episode 9 - DaydreamsDesmond catches Shirley looking at house brochures, and despite her assurances that she was just allowing herself a little daydream, insists that the Ambroses will not move until they retire to Guyana.
2:55pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 1, Episode 26 - Tooth FairyShaun tries to find a solution for Bitzer's horrible toothache.
3pm
(repeat)
Monarch Of The Glen
Series 2, Episode 2Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.
3pm
(repeat)
My Phone Genie
Episode 14 - Side FXMobbsy becomes unwell just before a talent contest and Gene's treatment has unexpected side effects.
3pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 1, Episode 33 - Camping ChaosThe lives of the sheep are disrupted when an unfriendly camper puts up his tent in their field.
3:30pm
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
Christmas Special - Mother Nature's SonRodney's talk of environmental pollution brings him a strange ally when Del becomes a friend of the Earth. Of course, he's got a scam going and it involves a joint venture with the Water Board - but they are a silent partner!
3:30pm
(repeat)
My Phone Genie
Episode 15 - Jaz PlasticGene loses Jaz when a wish backfires and he must work out what she wished for and where she has ended up.
3:40pm
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
Series 3, Episode 2 - Healthy CompetitionRodney has become disillusioned with being Del's look-out, and announces his intention to set up business with Mickey Pearce.
4:15pm
(repeat)
In Loving Memory
Series 1, Episode 7 - OnionsOnions and a stuck bicycle set young Billy on a new course - all the way to France.
4:20pm
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
Series 3, Episode 3 - Friday The 14thDel's weekend fishing trip to Boycie's country cottage strangely coincides with a local restaurant owner's need for cheap fish. On the journey they are stopped by the police who inform them of an escaped killer who is believed to be in the vicinity. They arrive at the empty cottage with a sense of foreboding...
4:25pm
(repeat)
Gigglebiz
Series 2, Episode 10Hapless hero Captain Adorable attempts to thwart some robbers; and The Lost Pirate stumbles across a fellow pirate at the dentist.
4:30pm
(repeat)
Gigglebiz
Series 2, Episode 9Intrepid explorer Rapids Johnson visit a beach to find a rare panda; and eclectic chef Dina Lady experiments with choux pastry.
4:30pm30 min
So Awkward
Series 1, Episode 12 - Everyone Loves ClementineEven though she doesn't actually exist, Clementine Moustache quickly becomes the most popular girl in the school.
4:50pm
(repeat)
Doctor At Large
Episode 10 - Upton Sells OutUpton goes against his principles when he joins Stuart-Clark in a plush Harley Street practice. He is immediately at odds with the kind of medicine Dr. Whiteland dispenses.
5pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 5, Episode 11 - A Wife Less OrdinarySusan is bored with her lot and opts to run her life as a single girl again. Janey takes the opportunity to try running the home with a husband who is less than perfect, and Ben just runs away.
5:20pm
(repeat)
Rising Damp
Series 3, Episode 4 - The Good SamaritansWhen a new lodger arrives at the house with talk of only staying one night before "moving on", Rigsby's soon calling the Samaritans to stop a suicide attempt. But which of the residents will come off worse?
5:40pm
(repeat)
My Family
Series 5, Episode 12 - The Book Of LoveSusan attends a neighbour's book club. Michael runs a booking agency exclusively for Roger, while Ben books a seat on the sofa but gets a new assistant too close to home.
6pm
(repeat)
Three Up, Two Down
Series 3, Episode 7 - Life And DeathDaphne rejects Sams's advice and returns to Cheltenham to find wisdom from a more reliable source.
6:20pm
(repeat)
Steptoe And Son
Series 8, Episode 4 - The Seven SteptoeraiAlbert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.
6:40pm
(repeat)
As Time Goes By
Series 4, Episode 1 - A House Full Of WomenLionel increasingly feels he's living in David's house, and Sandy leaves Nick for good so Judith invites her to stay. The change of circumstances bring living arrangements to the front of everyone's minds.
7pm
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
Series 3, Episode 2 - Healthy CompetitionRodney has become disillusioned with being Del's look-out, and announces his intention to set up business with Mickey Pearce.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 2, Episode 8 - Nice Work If You Can Get ItGary's new career as a 1940s entertainer is taking off, as is his trade in wartime 78s. But can he take the strain of two opening nights in two different eras?
7:40pm
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
Series 3, Episode 3 - Friday The 14thDel's weekend fishing trip to Boycie's country cottage strangely coincides with a local restaurant owner's need for cheap fish. On the journey they are stopped by the police who inform them of an escaped killer who is believed to be in the vicinity. They arrive at the empty cottage with a sense of foreboding...
7:45pm
(repeat)
Monty Python: Almost The Truth
Episode 2The legendary troupe reflects on Monty Python's Flying Circus, revealing how the group's failures turned to success and how the hit series influenced comedians to come.
8pm
(repeat)
Desmond's
Series 3, Episode 9 - DaydreamsDesmond catches Shirley looking at house brochures, and despite her assurances that she was just allowing herself a little daydream, insists that the Ambroses will not move until they retire to Guyana.
8pm60 min version (repeat)
8:20pm
(repeat)
Outnumbered
Series 5, Episode 4Dad and Ben go on a winter camping trip where Ben shows off his survival skills. Jake has to decide about a gap year, and Mum has had enough of Stacey, the Australian goddaughter who is still staying.
9pm
(repeat)
Black Books
Series 2, Episode 1 - The EntertainerFran has a new hobby and Bernard has a date. Manny holds the key to success with both.
9pm
(repeat)
Not Going Out
Series 2, Episode 1 - MortgageLee's former flatmate Kate has moved back to America, so Tim decides to sell the flat.
9pm
(repeat)
Mid Morning Matters With Alan Partridge
Series 1, Episode 5 - Shadow + TaxAlan joins North Norfolk breakfast host Terri Cohen, filling in for her regular co-host to review the morning's papers. On his own show, Alan is joined by internet millionaire Daniel Langford to talk about technology.
9pm60 min version (repeat)
Russell Howard's Good News
Topical stand-up comedy and chat show hosted by Russell Howard.
9pm60 min
Rob Brydon At 50
Documentary looking at the comedy career of Rob Brydon, including an interview with the star himself.
9pm60 min version (repeat)
9:30pm
(repeat)
Black Books
Series 2, Episode 4 - BloodBernard and Manny transform the shop. Bored Fran seeks out some unknown relatives.
9:30pm
(repeat)
Mid Morning Matters With Alan Partridge
Series 1, Episode 6 - Turgid + MilkshakeAlong with new 'banter jockey' sidekick Zoe Scott, Alan is joined in the studio by agony aunt Polly Maplin. He later opens up to Zoe about his father, and sports a rather fetching raspberry pink jacket.
9:40pm
(repeat)
Not Going Out
Series 2, Episode 2 - GayTim is worried that he isn't manly enough. Lee is persuaded by Lucy to pretend to be gay.
10pm
(repeat)
10pm
(repeat)
Stand Up Central
Series 1, Episode 5Russell talks masturbation in the cinema, uniform dating, and answers questions on cannabis and super powers. His guests are Katherine Ryan and Daniel Simonsen.
10pm
(repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 6 (Channel 4: Series 7), Episode 11Jimmy Carr is joined by Sean Lock and Mel Giedroyc and special guest captain Lee Mack with David O'Doherty. Susie Dent is joined by Adam Buxton in Dictionary Corner.
10pm
(repeat)
Would I Lie To You?
Series 7, Episode 2Rob Brydon, Lee Mack and David Mitchell are joined by Charles Dance, Stephen Mangan, Isy Suttie and Gok Wan.
10pm
Uncle Ted: British Comedy Icon
Episode 6 - Uncle DeadTed performs at the world famous Comedy Store... Can Ted live up to the reputation of being a British comedy icon? Or will he crash and burn?
10pm
(repeat)
The Javone Prince Show
Episode 2Javone is attacked by ninjas, reveals will.i.am's new role as an HR consultant, and is completely uninterested in the announcer's beef with Idris Elba.
10pm
(repeat)
Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish
Series 2, Episode 2 - Winston Churchill's PantsSharp stand-up from Dave Gorman, who answers life's burning questions. What is Richard Branson capable of? And should David Dickinson be stopped?
10pm45 min
Safeword
Series 1, Episode 280s pop legend Sinitta and Geordie Shore's Charlotte Crosby are under scrutiny. Joining the teams as guests are comics Iain Stirling and Jason Byrne.
10:20pm
(repeat)
Red Dwarf
Series III, Episode 3 - PolymorphA chameleonic shape-changing mutant known as a Polymorph is roaming around Red Dwarf, disguising itself in order to manipulate and feed on the crew's emotions.
10:30pm
(repeat)
Drunk History
Series 1, Episode 3Romesh Ranganathan talks Tutankhamun, Joe Lycett on highway man Dick Turpin, and Tom Rosenthal explains how Byron had a pet bear!
10:30pm
(repeat)
Russell Howard's Good News
Series 8, Episode 9Topical comedy show in which Russell Howard offers up an energetic look at global goings-on and finds his own uniquely upbeat angle on the news each week.
10:35pm45 min version (repeat)
Live At The Apollo
Series 5, Episode 2 - Rob Brydon, Sarah Millican and Jason ByrneBAFTA-nominated actor and comedian Rob Brydon hosts. The special guests are funny lady Sarah Millican and Ireland's very own Jason Byrne.
10:45pm
(repeat)
Celebrity Juice
Series 13, Episode 4Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cotton are joined by Gino D'Acampo again, with guests Stereo Kicks, Dr Christian Jessen and radio DJs Dave Berry and Lisa Snowdon to their teams.
11pm
(repeat)
Birds Of A Feather
Series 5, Episode 11 - An Inspector StaysThe police want to use Tracey and Sharon's home for a surveillance operation.
11pm
(repeat)
The Trip
The Trip To Italy, Episode 1 - Cenobio Dei Dogi, CamogliRob, tired from the responsibilities of being the father of a young child, is looking for some adventure. Steve has been living a life of abstinence and hard work in Los Angeles.
11pm60 min version (repeat)
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 15, Episode 18 Out Of 10 Cats returns for a new series with a special extended edition. Host Jimmy Carr and team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by Jack Dee, Claudia Winkleman, David O'Doherty and Josh Widdicombe.
11pm60 min version (repeat)
11:20pm
(repeat)
The Javone Prince Show
Episode 2Javone is attacked by ninjas, reveals will.i.am's new role as an HR consultant, and is completely uninterested in the announcer's beef with Idris Elba.
11:40pm
(repeat)
The Trip
The Trip To Italy, Episode 2 - Da Giovanni, San FruttuosoRob and Steve go on a boat trip, taking in a local restaurant and Percy Shelley's house for a picture before continuing their journey and arriving at another restaurant. Rob wonders aloud about what they will be remembered for in 200 years' time.
Midnight60 min version (repeat)
Russell Howard's Good News
Topical stand-up comedy and chat show hosted by Russell Howard.
Midnight60 min version (repeat)
Taskmaster
Series 1, Episode 1 - Melon BuffetThis week the comedians have to try and paint the best picture of a horse while riding a horse. Also, expect melon-eating, bath-emptying and pop-up tents.
Midnight
(repeat)
The Many Faces Of...
Series 2, Episode 2 - The Many Faces Of Les DawsonLes Dawson was one of Britain's all time great comedy talents. He's best known as a comedian but was also a talented musician, writer and actor. This programme traces his career, with familiar favourite TV clips and some rare gems from the archives.
12:20am
(repeat)
12:25am
(repeat)
Safeword
Series 1, Episode 280s pop legend Sinitta and Geordie Shore's Charlotte Crosby are under scrutiny. Joining the teams as guests are comics Iain Stirling and Jason Byrne.
1am
(repeat)
The Mighty Boosh
Series 3, Episode 6 - The ChokesVince is MCing a night at the Velvet Onion, to be headlined by The Black Tubes.
1:05am
(repeat)
Kingdom
Series 1, Episode 5Peter tries to help his latest client - a well-to-do antiques dealer who is desperate for a divorce because her husband has recently started cross-dressing. Lyle helps local horse trainer Herb, who wants to lease a nearby field for his prize racer. When he visits the field he is horrified to discover a group of travellers have set up camp, and demands that Lyle gets rid of them. Hill confronts Peter and demands his money back, and the town goes betting crazy as race day approaches.
1:30am
(repeat)
People Just Do Nothing
Series 2, Episode 3 - Weed DroughtChabuddy G has printed all of his counterfeit designer t-shirts and is preparing to sell them at the local market.
1:40am
(repeat)
Stella Street
In Surbiton, Surrey, film stars Michael Caine, Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino and others share a street with the likes of musicians Mick Jagger, David Bowie and football pundit Jimmy Hill.
2am
(repeat)
The Trip
The Trip To Italy, Episode 1 - Cenobio Dei Dogi, CamogliRob, tired from the responsibilities of being the father of a young child, is looking for some adventure. Steve has been living a life of abstinence and hard work in Los Angeles.
2am
(repeat)
Russell Howard's Good News
Series 8, Episode 9Topical comedy show in which Russell Howard offers up an energetic look at global goings-on and finds his own uniquely upbeat angle on the news each week.
2:05am
(repeat)
Spaced
Series 2, Episode 6 - DissolutionAs Sophie and Tim get closer, Daisy and Mike get increasingly jealous. Secrets from the past come back to haunt Tim and Daisy. Twist and Brian split up. Everyone finally vents their frustration at Daisy's birthday dinner.
2:30am
(repeat)
Spaced
Series 2, Episode 7 - LeavesAfter Daisy's party everyone has split and gone their separate ways. Sophie is going to America, Twist in Manchester and Marsha is selling the house and has gone AWOL. When Tim discovers that even Daisy is leaving town, Mike comes up with a bloody spectacular idea.
2:30am
(repeat)
The Trip
The Trip To Italy, Episode 2 - Da Giovanni, San FruttuosoRob and Steve go on a boat trip, taking in a local restaurant and Percy Shelley's house for a picture before continuing their journey and arriving at another restaurant. Rob wonders aloud about what they will be remembered for in 200 years' time.
2:30am
(repeat)
Norman Wisdom: His Story
Special celebrating the life and work of late comic actor Norman Wisdom.
3am
(repeat)
3:25am
(repeat)
Dirty Sexy Funny: Olivia Lee
A hidden camera prank show for Comedy Central starring Olivia Lee. Features stunts, scripted sketches and setups.
3:30am
(repeat)
The Mighty Boosh
Series 3, Episode 6 - The ChokesVince is MCing a night at the Velvet Onion, to be headlined by The Black Tubes.
3:40am
(repeat)
Friday Night Dinner
Series 3, Episode 2 - The FoxDad's been secretly hiding a dead fox in the outside freezer, as he wants to get it stuffed. But when mum needs to use the freezer, dad enlists the boys in a desperate attempt to hide the dead animal from her.
4:05am
(repeat)
Bad Robots
Series 1, Episode 5A tourist information machine feeds eager London visitors with a load of nonsense.