TV schedule for 12th September 2014 (full list)

6am (repeat)

On The Buses

Series 4, Episode 13 - Not Tonight

New canteen girl Stella makes a pass at Stan, and - having suffered a long unlucky streak - he is only too happy to jump to her advances. But are her intentions honourable?

7am (repeat)

The Two Ronnies

Series 1, Episode 5

Henrietta meets Toulouse-Lautrec as Hampton Wick continues. Plus French comedy-eater Chaz Chase, more music, and a visit to a rather confused doctor.

7:30am
10 min

The Joke Machine

Episode 40

This episode's jokers are Milton Park versus Wallace High.

7:40am (repeat)

Mr Cloppity is picking apples in the orchard, but when he gets stuck up high in his cherry picker, Boj improvises with Mr Nibblit's exercise trampoline to get him down - and inspires all his buddies to use their springiest toys to get bouncing for apples in time to his bojey-bouncing beat.

7:50am (repeat)

Sorry!

Timothy Lumsden, although bright, sharp and witty, is poor (at best) with the fairer sex - he's also stuck living with his cruel, domineering mother.

8:40am (repeat)

Timmy Time

Spin-off from Shaun The Sheep for the CBeebies channel, featuring Timmy the baby lamb and his friends.

9:05am (repeat)

Dani's House

Series 4, Episode 5 - Hair Today

Dani is looking forward to a day watching horror movies with Sam and Jack, but Sam has been dumped by her new boyfriend, Josh, and decides to cure herself of a broken heart. Meanwhile, things get hairy when Max and Ben discover that Ben is a werewolf.

10am (repeat)

Last Of The Summer Wine

Series 6, Episode 3 - The Odd Dog Men

A chance encounter with an unwilling and resentful dog-walker suggests to Foggy that this might just be the business opportunity he has been waiting for all his life. With the reluctant assistance of Compo and Clegg, he sets out to prove that 'walkies' could mean big money for them.

10:05am (repeat)

Bottom Knocker Street

Episode 15 - Magic Pencil

Bo struggles to compete with the others when it comes to art. Maybe Sonia has the solution?

10:15am (repeat)

Bottom Knocker Street

Episode 18 - The Good Fairy

Councillor Cowdrey has committed a thousand bad deeds and the Good Fairy would like a word with him.

10:30am (repeat)

Sooty

Series 2, Episode 9 - Sooty Takes Off

Sooty, Sweep and Soo are desperate to join the junior model flyers' club, and they have just the plane to prove their skills. But after a journey that takes them from Paris to the North Pole, will they have enough fuel to make it home?

10:35am (repeat)

Roy. Image shows from L to R: Becky (Martha Byrne), Maura (Cathy Belton), Bill (Simon Delaney). Copyright: JAM Media

Roy

Series 1, Episode 5 - A Matter Of Principal

It is hard to stay out of trouble when you are a cartoon and this week proves no exception for Roy, as he instigates more animated antics after a run-in with the headmaster over a confiscated computer game.

10:40am (repeat)

'Allo 'Allo!

Series 2, Episode 2 - The Wooing Of Widow Artois

As more suitors pop out of the woodwork in search of Edith's hand, René becomes increasingly concerned about the fate of his café. Meanwhile, Herr Flick has devised a plan to send Hitler a forged copy of the Fallen Madonna, and another escape attempt for the airmen is afoot.

11:10am (repeat)

Mr Bean

Series 1, Episode 27 - Big TV

When the television blows up during Mr Bean and Irma's squabble over what to watch, Mr Bean invents his own ingenious form of home entertainment.

11:20am (repeat)

Keeping Up Appearances

Series 2, Episode 4

Hyacinth and Richard take a weekend golfing break with the Major.

11:25am (repeat)

Mr Bean

Series 1, Episode 28 - Keyboard Capers

Determined to finish Beethoven's symphony, Mr Bean wangles himself a grand piano, a music book, a candelabra - and a very patient piano teacher. Liberace, eat your heart out!

12pm (repeat)

Porridge

Series 1, Episode 2 - The Hustler

Gambling fever has hit Slade - subjects include the number of bricks in a cell, and the number of eggs laid by the hens on the prison farm. Fletch has organised a big game in a secret location, but will anyone actually win?

12:40pm (repeat)

The Two Ronnies

Series 1, Episode 5

Henrietta meets Toulouse-Lautrec as Hampton Wick continues. Plus French comedy-eater Chaz Chase, more music, and a visit to a rather confused doctor.

1pm (repeat)

Steptoe And Son

Series 3, Episode 4 - Steptoe à la Cart

Harold manages to get a French girlfriend.

1:30pm (repeat)

Sorry!

Timothy Lumsden, although bright, sharp and witty, is poor (at best) with the fairer sex - he's also stuck living with his cruel, domineering mother.

1:40pm (repeat)

Ever Decreasing Circles

Series 2, Episode 3

Martin is put in a difficult situation at his own dinner party. He has to use all his powers of discretion in order to tell Paul that his wife has arrived. Not only did no one know he was married but he's sat in his living room with another girl.

1:40pm (repeat)

Roy

Series 1, Episode 5 - A Matter Of Principal

It is hard to stay out of trouble when you are a cartoon and this week proves no exception for Roy, as he instigates more animated antics after a run-in with the headmaster over a confiscated computer game.

2:20pm (repeat)

Birds Of A Feather

Series 3, Episode 6 - The Lost Weekend

A dull weekend turns into a very painful lesson for Dorien.

3pm (repeat)

Auf Wiedersehen, Pet

Comedy drama about a group of builders who flee overseas in search of work.

3pm (repeat)

Shaun The Sheep

Series 3, Episode 5 - The Crow

It's late in the day as Bitzer rounds up the Flock for bedtime. They prepare themselves for a good night's sleep. Alas, a noisy intruder scuppers their plans. The Flock just find an inventive way to get rid of the pest if they are ever going to get a good night's rest.

3:30pm (repeat)

Sooty

Series 2, Episode 10 - The Fancy Dress Party

When Sooty's magic powder falls in the costume box, the gang end up with real super powers. Can they save the fancy dress competition, or will the evil Barrie Bonkers bring it to a sticky end? Guest starring Shaun Williamson.

3:40pm (repeat)

Last Of The Summer Wine

Series 6, Episode 3 - The Odd Dog Men

A chance encounter with an unwilling and resentful dog-walker suggests to Foggy that this might just be the business opportunity he has been waiting for all his life. With the reluctant assistance of Compo and Clegg, he sets out to prove that 'walkies' could mean big money for them.

4pm (repeat)

Strange Hill High

Series 2, Episode 12 - The Snide Piper

With the annual Strange Hill spring festival approaching, Mitchell drives the music teacher mad and the kids get a mysterious new teacher who may have a much deeper connection to the ancient festival than they realise.

4:15pm (repeat)

Barbara

Series 2, Episode 10 - Sheep

Martin is determined to produce more 'serious' reports after finding out what people think about him. Meanwhile, Ted is suffering from the most crippling nightmares, and Phil's back keeps on locking in the most unfortunate positions!

4:15pm (repeat)

Mr Bean

Series 1, Episode 37 - Bean In Love

Mr Bean's heart-throb, Roxy, is singing in a concert at the London Palladium, and he sets his sights on getting her signature in his autograph book. A difficult feat, but will love prevail?

4:20pm (repeat)

'Allo 'Allo!

Series 2, Episode 2 - The Wooing Of Widow Artois

As more suitors pop out of the woodwork in search of Edith's hand, René becomes increasingly concerned about the fate of his café. Meanwhile, Herr Flick has devised a plan to send Hitler a forged copy of the Fallen Madonna, and another escape attempt for the airmen is afoot.

4:30pm (repeat)

Mr Bean

Series 1, Episode 38 - Double Trouble

Mr Bean is over the moon when he meets Mr Pod - the two men have so much in common: the same shirt, jacket, trousers and even underpants. And to top it all, Pod is Bean's spitting image. But Mr Bean falls to earth with a bump when his girlfriend, Irma Gobb, finds Mr Pod much better looking than him.

4:50pm (repeat)

Never The Twain

Series 2, Episode 4 - Blood Brothers

Oliver never set out to save Simon's life, he had no control over what happened. However, now that they are 'blood brothers' he has every intention of making sure that Simon refuses him nothing...

5pm (repeat)

Harry Hill's TV Burp

Award-winning comedian Harry Hill takes a surreal look at television clips from the previous seven days.

5pm (repeat)

Horrible Histories

2014 Specials - Frightful First World War Special

This special reveals how Girl Guides were used to pass on secret war-time information; tells of the terrors of trench life; and hears a frustrated captain try to explain the not-so-simple reasons for Britain joining the war.

5:20pm (repeat)

On The Buses

Series 5, Episode 1 - The Nursery

A nursery is set up for the clippies' children and the Sister in charge requires an assistant. Something surely that even Olive can handle?

5:30pm (repeat)

Only Fools And Horses

Series 2, Episode 2 - Ashes To Ashes

When Trigger's grandmother dies, the Trotters attend the funeral and Del agrees to sell off some of her possessions. These include a couple of precious urns, one of which, on inspection, appears to contain the ashes of Trig's grandfather. They need to dispose of them in a fitting way.

6pm (repeat)

Steptoe And Son

Series 3, Episode 4 - Steptoe à la Cart

Harold manages to get a French girlfriend.

6pm (repeat)

Desmond's

Series 2, Episode 5 - A Microwave, Five Men And A Nappy

With Gloria and Shirley away for the night, Porkpie, Desmond, Michael, Matthew and Tony are left alone to cause trouble - and they soon find themselves looking after a white baby!

6:10pm (repeat)

Keeping Up Appearances

Series 2, Episode 4

Hyacinth and Richard take a weekend golfing break with the Major.

6:40pm (repeat)

Bread

Series 2, Episode 3

When Jack and Adrian witness a burglary first hand, they suddenly find themselves pursued by the perpetrators. Meanwhile, Billy gets use of the Jag to take Julie for lunch.

6:50pm (repeat)

Fawlty Towers

Series 1, Episode 1 - A Touch Of Class

In his endless strive to improve the quality of Fawlty Towers, Basil places an advert in a high-society magazine, and soon has a Lord Melbury checking in - but all is not quite as it seems.

7:20pm (repeat)

Ever Decreasing Circles

Series 2, Episode 3

Martin is put in a difficult situation at his own dinner party. He has to use all his powers of discretion in order to tell Paul that his wife has arrived. Not only did no one know he was married but he's sat in his living room with another girl.

7:30pm (repeat)

Harry Hill's TV Burp

Award-winning comedian Harry Hill takes a surreal look at television clips from the previous seven days.

7:30pm (repeat)

At Home With The Braithwaites

Comedy drama about the Leeds Braithwaite family, whose lives are changed when mum wins £36 million on the lottery.

8pm (repeat)

Porridge: Inside Out

Episode 1 - Sent Down

First of a three-part special giving a fascinating insight into one of the most-loved sitcoms of all time, with help from the show's creators, Clement and La Frenais.

8pm
60 min

CTRL Freaks

Episode 4

The comedians challenge Mariah Carey fan Alex to denounce his idol, before presenting a meat-based skincare range. Meanwhile, model Lucie must become the promo girl for Dogs Milk.

8:30pm
30 min

Would I Lie To You?

Series 8, Episode 1

Rob Brydon presents a new series of the panel game. Regular team captains Lee Mack and David Mitchell are joined by Fiona Bruce, Micky Flanagan, Steve Jones and Claudia Winkleman.

9pm (repeat)

Last Of The Summer Wine

A selection of episodes from the 27th series of Britain's longest running sitcom.

9pm (repeat)

Black Books

Series 3, Episode 5 - Travel Writer

Bernard is ordered to pay rent to a cat. Manny's favourite travel writer Jason take a shine to Fran, as well as charming everyone else in his path.

9pm (repeat)

Blackadder. Copyright: BBC / Tiger Aspect Productions

Blackadder Exclusive: The Whole Rotten Saga

Highlights Special - Blackadder's Most Cunning Moments

Special highlights show featuring the most 'cunning' moments from four series of the Blackadder saga.

9pm (repeat)

Jonathan Creek

Series 1, Episode 3 - The Reconstituted Corpse

A plastic surgeon is murdered. The police suspect Zola Zbzewski, his ex-lover who is publicising her book on how he gave her the perfect body. But then Zola is found dead in baffling circumstances...

9pm (repeat)

Lee Evans: Roadrunner

TV broadcast of Lee Evans's 2011 stand-up show and release, Roadrunner.

9pm (repeat)

Shakespeare In Love

Romantic comedy about a fictional relationship between William Shakespeare and a young woman who poses as a man in order to star in his plays.

9pm
30 min

Boomers

Series 1, Episode 5

Joyce and Alan have financial concerns and are considering downsizing.

9pm (repeat)

Would I Lie To You?

Series 5, Episode 3

David Mitchell is joined by David O'Doherty and Katherine Parkinson, and Lee Mack is joined by Bill Turnbull and Louie Spence.

9pm (repeat)

Cuckoo

Series 2, Episode 6 - Neighbourhood Watch

A night-time intruder and a local car theft spur the Thompson and Chance families into abandoning Neighbour Watch and taking matters into their own hands.

9pm
60 min

8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown

Series 4 (Channel 4: Series 5), Episode 2

Jimmy Carr, Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by celebrity guests David Baddiel and Trevor Noah. Joey Essex is in Dictionary Corner while Alex Horne and The Horne Section help Rachel Riley.

9pm
60 min

A League Of Their Own

Series 8, Episode 3

The BAFTA-winning sports/comedy show continues. Featuring guests Josh Widdicombe, Kevin Pietersen and Joe Hart.

9:30pm (repeat)

Peep Show

Series 5, Episode 2 - Spin War

Mark and Sophie return to work after their non-existent honeymoon and Mark tries to deflect the inevitable bad PR attached to a jilter. Meanwhile, Jeremy and Super Hans's band play their first gig.

9:30pm
30 min

Big School

Series 2, Episode 3

Mr Gunn views the impending parents evening at Greybridge in a whole new light when he discovers that one of his pupils may well be his son.

9:30pm (repeat)

Siblings

Series 1, Episode 6 - Balcombe's Funeral

Hannah and Dan's beloved drama teacher Mr Balcombe has died and Dan and Hannah have mixed emotions about the funeral.

9:40pm (repeat)

Would I Lie To You?

Series 5, Episode 4

David Mitchell is joined by Gregg Wallace and Nigel Havers, and Lee Mack is joined by Charlie Brooker and Nina Wadia.

10pm (repeat)

Coupling

Series 1, Episode 3 - Sex, Death And Nudity

Jane's aunt has died, and having not told her family she's broken up with Steve, attempts to rope him in. But he'd only be comfortable with Susan. And she wants to take Patrick, who wants Sally. And Jeff ... well he actually knew the deceased.

10pm
60 min

The Football's On

Series 2, Episode 5

Ian Stone returns with more football chat. Alan Davies and Charlie Baker are in the studio too.

10pm
30 min

The Perfect Morecambe & Wise

Episode 8

Eric takes on the demanding role of Hamlet, and the boys re-enact a classic scene from Singing in the Rain. Dame Flora Robson revives her role as the virgin queen, Eric goes back to school in Top of the Form and Cilla Black has some great news for Ernie about his recording career.

10pm
60 min

Seann Walsh's Late Night Comedy Spectacular

2014, Episode 1

From deep inside The Caves at the Edinburgh Fringe, comedy superstar Seann Walsh presents some of the most exciting new acts from 2014. Multi award-winning John Kearns, Rhys James, Luisa Omielan, Dane Baptiste, Celia Pacquola, John Hastings, Rebecca Humphries, Omar Hamdi and Fern Brady all star.

10pm
65 min

Alan Carr: Chatty Man

Series 13, Episode 1 - Jack Whitehall, Jon Richardson, Matt Forde, Abbey Clancy, Piers Morgan, Kasabian

Guests include Jack Whitehall, who discusses the return of his sitcom Bad Education; and Jon Richardson and Matt Forde talking about their new show Jon Richardson Grows Up. Plus chat from Abbey Clancy and Piers Morgan. Music is from Kasabian, who perform their latest single Bumblebeee live in the studio.

10:20pm
60 min version (repeat)

Have I Got News For You

Series 42, Episode 2

Alexander Armstrong hosts another dose of Have I Got News For You, with panellists Danny Baker and Louise Mensch MP.

10:30pm (repeat)

Coupling

Series 1, Episode 4 - Inferno

Steve's thrown into a panic when he finds Susan tidying his flat. Has she found his videos? Cue a particularly awkward dinner party.

10:30pm (repeat)

Desmond's

Series 2, Episode 5 - A Microwave, Five Men And A Nappy

With Gloria and Shirley away for the night, Porkpie, Desmond, Michael, Matthew and Tony are left alone to cause trouble - and they soon find themselves looking after a white baby!

11pm (repeat)

Trigger Happy TV

Quick-fire prank show that made Dom Joly a star. The comic unleashes his twisted humour on an unsuspecting British public.

11pm (repeat)

Shooting Stars

Series 7, Episode 2

The guests this week are Ben Miller, David Gest, former popstar Kimberly Wyatt and gossip queen Trisha Goddard.

11:05pm (repeat)

8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown

Series 4 (Channel 4: Series 5), Episode 2

Jimmy Carr, Sean Lock and Jon Richardson are joined by celebrity guests David Baddiel and Trevor Noah. Joey Essex is in Dictionary Corner while Alex Horne and The Horne Section help Rachel Riley.

11:05pm (repeat)

Outnumbered

Series 5, Episode 5

There are communication problems in the Brockman house as Mum struggles to maintain a work life balance and Dad's phone gets the better of him.

11:05pm (repeat)

Virtually Famous

Series 1, Episode 8

In the final show in the series, Kevin, Sean and Chris are joined by Gemma Merna, Rob Beckett, Alex from Made in Chelsea and Yasmine Akram as they face questions and challenges all about clips, virals and YouTube celebrities.

11:20pm (repeat)

QI

Series C, Episode 10 - Cleve Crudgington

With Mark Steel, Clive Anderson and John Sessions.

11:25pm
25 min

Parents' Evening

Comedy pilot set at a school parents' evening starring Kayvan Novak as various characters.

11:30pm (repeat)

Trigger Happy TV

Quick-fire prank show that made Dom Joly a star. The comic unleashes his twisted humour on an unsuspecting British public.

11:40pm (repeat)

The Mighty Boosh

Series 1, Episode 2 - Mutants

All is not well at the Zoo-Niverse. Animals are disappearing one by one. Things go from bad to worse when Joey Moose, one of the zookeepers, goes missing. When Mrs Gideon reports that her python is also on the missing list, Howard is determined to save the day. Howard and Vince stumble across Dixon Bainbridge's secret laboratory and the terrible truth behind his 'experiments' comes to light.

12:05am (repeat)

Alan Carr: Chatty Man

Series 13, Episode 1 - Jack Whitehall, Jon Richardson, Matt Forde, Abbey Clancy, Piers Morgan, Kasabian

Guests include Jack Whitehall, who discusses the return of his sitcom Bad Education; and Jon Richardson and Matt Forde talking about their new show Jon Richardson Grows Up. Plus chat from Abbey Clancy and Piers Morgan. Music is from Kasabian, who perform their latest single Bumblebeee live in the studio.

12:05am (repeat)

PhoneShop

Series 2, Episode 2 - It's Training Men

As Ashley and Jerwayne come to terms with the fact that they are getting older, Lance fumes that a training day has been dumped on him at the last minute, and Janine drags Christopher into the hunt for her stalker.

12:20am (repeat)

15 Storeys High

Series 1, Episode 2 - The Model

Vince is promoted to swimming instructor and begins to teach a would-be glamour model, much to her husband's annoyance. Meanwhile, Errol decides it's time to redecorate the bathroom.

12:35am (repeat)

Dara O Briain: School Of Hard Sums

Series 1, Episode 3

Dara O'Briain takes a witty look at how maths underpins everything around us. Dara takes on comic Jason Byrne in a problem-solving challenge.

12:35am (repeat)

Seann Walsh's Late Night Comedy Spectacular

2014, Episode 1

From deep inside The Caves at the Edinburgh Fringe, comedy superstar Seann Walsh presents some of the most exciting new acts from 2014. Multi award-winning John Kearns, Rhys James, Luisa Omielan, Dane Baptiste, Celia Pacquola, John Hastings, Rebecca Humphries, Omar Hamdi and Fern Brady all star.

12:40am (repeat)

The Ricky Gervais Show

Series 3, Episode 3 - Armed Forces

Tonight's episode uses previously unreleased audio and includes a story about Karl failing to report an armed robbery.

4Music. Copyright: Channel 4 Television Corporation

12:45am
50 min version (repeat)

8 Out Of 10 Cats

Series 14, Episode 3

More facts, polls, figures and laughs. Host Jimmy Carr is once again joined by team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson as they discuss the topical events that set the great British public's chins wagging.

1am (repeat)

The Smell Of Reeves And Mortimer

Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer offer up their unique brand of off-the-wall humour.

1:15am (repeat)

Dara O Briain: School Of Hard Sums

Series 1, Episode 4

Brains and brawn go head to head once again as Dara O'Briain presents the light-hearted science show. Taking up Dara's problem-solving challenge here is Andi Osho.

1:30am (repeat)

Not The Nine O'Clock News

Popular satirical sketch show of the late 70s and early 80s starring Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith, Griff Rhys Jones and Pamela Stephenson.

1:35am (repeat)

Cuckoo

Series 2, Episode 6 - Neighbourhood Watch

A night-time intruder and a local car theft spur the Thompson and Chance families into abandoning Neighbour Watch and taking matters into their own hands.

1:40am (repeat)

Anna & Katy

Episode 3

We return to the employees of car wash company Ignition who haven't managed to wash a single car since opening and are holding an emergency meeting as a result.

1:55am (repeat)

QI

Series C, Episode 10 - Cleve Crudgington

With Mark Steel, Clive Anderson and John Sessions.

2am (repeat)

Shooting Stars

Series 7, Episode 2

The guests this week are Ben Miller, David Gest, former popstar Kimberly Wyatt and gossip queen Trisha Goddard.

2am (repeat)

Auf Wiedersehen, Pet

Comedy drama about a group of builders who flee overseas in search of work.

2am (repeat)

The Alternative Comedy Experience

Series 2, Episode 9 - Low Standards

Tonight's episode of the Stewart Lee-curated stand-up show features Simon Munnery, Stephen Carlin, Hattie Hayridge, plus performance poet Paul Hamilton and some dancing from Gráinne Maguire.

2am (repeat)

Siblings

Series 1, Episode 6 - Balcombe's Funeral

Hannah and Dan's beloved drama teacher Mr Balcombe has died and Dan and Hannah have mixed emotions about the funeral.

2:10am (repeat)

At Home With The Braithwaites

Comedy drama about the Leeds Braithwaite family, whose lives are changed when mum wins £36 million on the lottery.

2:25am
50 min version (repeat)

Have I Got News For You

Series 42, Episode 2

Alexander Armstrong hosts another dose of Have I Got News For You, with panellists Danny Baker and Louise Mensch MP.

2:30am (repeat)

Brothers With No Game

Comedy drama TV series based on the hit YouTube series of the same name following four male friends.

2:30am (repeat)

The Mighty Boosh

Series 1, Episode 2 - Mutants

All is not well at the Zoo-Niverse. Animals are disappearing one by one. Things go from bad to worse when Joey Moose, one of the zookeepers, goes missing. When Mrs Gideon reports that her python is also on the missing list, Howard is determined to save the day. Howard and Vince stumble across Dixon Bainbridge's secret laboratory and the terrible truth behind his 'experiments' comes to light.

2:30am
30 min

Brothers With No Game

Series 2, Episode 3

When Dorian and Shirene decide to surprise each other with dates, Dorian's falls short when an unexpected guest shows up. Junior and Remy continue to bond, whilst Marcus sweet-talks his way to a date.

3am (repeat)

15 Storeys High

Series 1, Episode 2 - The Model

Vince is promoted to swimming instructor and begins to teach a would-be glamour model, much to her husband's annoyance. Meanwhile, Errol decides it's time to redecorate the bathroom.

3am (repeat)

Parents' Evening

Comedy pilot set at a school parents' evening starring Kayvan Novak as various characters.

3:05am (repeat)

PhoneShop

Series 2, Episode 2 - It's Training Men

As Ashley and Jerwayne come to terms with the fact that they are getting older, Lance fumes that a training day has been dumped on him at the last minute, and Janine drags Christopher into the hunt for her stalker.

3:30am (repeat)

3:50am (repeat)

Grouchy Young Men

Young male celebrities, including many comics, bitch and complain about life in modern Britain.

TV schedule Friday 12th September 2014

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