TV schedule for 3rd April 2014 (full list)

6am (repeat)

Harry Hill's TV Burp

Series 1, Episode 3

Harry and The Life Laundry presenter Dawna Walter declutter the set of ITV reality show Mr Right. Plus, Rik Waller bursts like a balloon.

6am (repeat)

Home To Roost

Series 3, Episode 5 - High Spirits

Matthew goes ghost hunting - in the spare room. Henry is sceptical until Matthew takes him to an allegedly-haunted railway station.

6:25am (repeat)

Waiting For God. Image shows from L to R: Diana Trent (Stephanie Cole), Tom Ballard (Graham Crowden). Copyright: BBC

After her health scare, Diana's unknowingly reinvigorated her drive for meanness. That should make for an interesting sequence of events, as Sarah arrives and announces she intends to give birth there at Bayview!

6:55am (repeat)

To The Manor Born

Series 3, Episode 1

The local Scout group are busy raising funds for a new hut, but DeVere is reluctant to sponsor their raft-building scheme. However, he does have a picnic in mind.

7:30am (repeat)

The Green Green Grass

Series 1, Episode 4 - Hay Fever

Marlene allows Boycie to buy a maximum of six cows for the farm - and is less than impressed when Elgin, Jed and Bryan turn up with a herd of 300. The vet is called out when bull Rocky fails to take any notice of the females, and Tyler prepares to sit a local private school's entrance exam.

8:10am (repeat)

'Allo 'Allo!

Series 6, Episode 3 - The Nouvion Oars

As the airmen continue to attempt their escape under an upturned bathtub, the river estuary suddenly becomes incredibly crowded.

8:30am (repeat)

Timmy Time

Spin-off from Shaun The Sheep for the CBeebies channel, featuring Timmy the baby lamb and his friends.

8:50am (repeat)

As Time Goes By

Series 9, Highlights Special - You Must Remember This....

Hour-long special edition. Alone in the house, Jean and Lionel recall memorable events during their life together.

9:30am (repeat)

Goodnight Sweetheart

Series 5, Episode 2 - London Pride

Phoebe finds living in the West End difficult, though Noel Coward does his best to help. Yvonne puts Gary on the guest list for a Downing Street party.

10am (repeat)

Trigger Happy TV

Quick-fire prank show that made Dom Joly a star. The comic unleashes his twisted humour on an unsuspecting British public.

10:10am (repeat)

One Foot In The Grave

Series 4, Episode 2 - Descent Into The Maelstrom

Margaret collapses with exhaustion and Victor's attempts at nursing her back to health only make things worse. But her spirits pick up swiftly when Andrea Temple, the who used to live next door as a child, comes back to visit her old neighbours with her new baby.

10:15am (repeat)

Sooty

Series 2, Episode 9 - Sooty Takes Off

Sooty, Sweep and Soo are desperate to join the junior model flyers' club, and they have just the plane to prove their skills. But after a journey that takes them from Paris to the North Pole, will they have enough fuel to make it home?

10:50am (repeat)

Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?

Series 1, Episode 3 - Cold Feet

With his impending marriage approaching, Bob is having doubts. All his friends seem to be getting divorced and his relationship with Thelma has been up-and-down. Deep down he knows she is the right girl for him but Terry is hardly giving him the encouragement he craves.

11:15am (repeat)

The Lavender Hill Mob

An Ealing Studios comedy classic, The Lavender Hill Mob stars Alec Guinness & Stanley Holloway attempting to carry out the perfect crime.

11:30am (repeat)

Waiting For God

Series 3, Episode 10

After her health scare, Diana's unknowingly reinvigorated her drive for meanness. That should make for an interesting sequence of events, as Sarah arrives and announces she intends to give birth there at Bayview!

12:10pm (repeat)

Last Of The Summer Wine

Series 28, Episode 7 - The Crowcroft Challenge

Howard sees the hidden potential of wearing an all-engulfinq crow outfit.

12:50pm (repeat)

Last Of The Summer Wine

Series 28, Episode 7 - The Crowcroft Challenge

Howard sees the hidden potential of wearing an all-engulfinq crow outfit.

12:50pm (repeat)

Dani's House

Series 5, Episode 4 - Two Week Wobblies

Concerned that Dani will bail out on tonight's gig and go out with Alex instead, Jack and Ruby convince the happy couple both to play it cool. But have they gone too far? Meanwhile, Maisy and Megaboyd have to assemble a multi-gym... with no instructions.

1:30pm (repeat)

To The Manor Born

Series 3, Episode 1

The local Scout group are busy raising funds for a new hut, but DeVere is reluctant to sponsor their raft-building scheme. However, he does have a picnic in mind.

2pm (repeat)

Birds Of A Feather

Series 1, Episode 5 - Cheat

Tracey's frustrations get worse when her GP refuses her anti depressants. Dorien takes a shine to Tracey's accountant while Sharon starts selling dodgy Rolling Stones merchandise. When a fraud officer questions her, Sharon recognises her as a customer who did a runner at a Chinese restaurant.

2:10pm (repeat)

The Green Green Grass

Series 1, Episode 4 - Hay Fever

Marlene allows Boycie to buy a maximum of six cows for the farm - and is less than impressed when Elgin, Jed and Bryan turn up with a herd of 300. The vet is called out when bull Rocky fails to take any notice of the females, and Tyler prepares to sit a local private school's entrance exam.

2:40pm (repeat)

Birds Of A Feather

Series 1, Episode 6 - Substitute

Sharon is refusing to see Chris and considers divorce. Tracey is smitten with Dorien's hunky celebrity lodger and is furious when she receives a letter written by Darryl to another woman, though it isn't as it seems.

2:50pm (repeat)

'Allo 'Allo!

Series 6, Episode 3 - The Nouvion Oars

As the airmen continue to attempt their escape under an upturned bathtub, the river estuary suddenly becomes incredibly crowded.

3:20pm (repeat)

Last Of The Summer Wine

Series 31, Episode 4 - Howard And The Great Outdoors

Hobbo and his 'team' turn Howard into a tramp to show Pearl how rough he's been living and convince her to take him back.

3:20pm (repeat)

Sooty

Series 2, Episode 10 - The Fancy Dress Party

When Sooty's magic powder falls in the costume box, the gang end up with real super powers. Can they save the fancy dress competition, or will the evil Barrie Bonkers bring it to a sticky end? Guest starring Shaun Williamson.

3:30pm (repeat)

As Time Goes By

Series 9, Highlights Special - You Must Remember This....

Hour-long special edition. Alone in the house, Jean and Lionel recall memorable events during their life together.

3:30pm (repeat)

Goodnight Sweetheart

Series 5, Episode 2 - London Pride

Phoebe finds living in the West End difficult, though Noel Coward does his best to help. Yvonne puts Gary on the guest list for a Downing Street party.

3:50pm (repeat)

Shaun The Sheep

Series 3, Episode 12 - Fossils

Bitzer has a map and a nose for hidden treasure - especially when it's a bone. This time he has unearthed more than he can chew. Shaun and the Flock get stuck in to help discover what he has found. It's beyond everyone's wildest dreams.

4pm (repeat)

Monarch Of The Glen

Series 3, Episode 9

Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.

4:15pm (repeat)

Home To Roost

Series 3, Episode 6 - The Real Thing

Why is Matthew tingling in the morning? Henry offers advice in matters of love - but not surprisingly it doesn't really help.

4:50pm (repeat)

One Foot In The Grave

Series 4, Episode 2 - Descent Into The Maelstrom

Margaret collapses with exhaustion and Victor's attempts at nursing her back to health only make things worse. But her spirits pick up swiftly when Andrea Temple, the who used to live next door as a child, comes back to visit her old neighbours with her new baby.

4:50pm (repeat)

Faith In The Future

Series 1, Episode 2 - Naked Ambition

Faith agonises over an invitation to dine with womanising boss Gareth Brown, and hard-up Hannah makes the most of her assets by accepting a new lob as a nude model.

4:55pm (repeat)

Doctor At Large

Dirk Bogarde stars as Dr Simon Sparrow, the medical practitioner. Sparrow decides to branch out from St Swithin's Hospital.

5pm (repeat)

Trigger Happy TV

Quick-fire prank show that made Dom Joly a star. The comic unleashes his twisted humour on an unsuspecting British public.

5pm
30 min

Roy. Image shows from L to R: Becky (Martha Byrne), Maura (Cathy Belton), Bill (Simon Delaney). Copyright: JAM Media

Roy

Series 3, Episode 11 - I'm A Big Roy Now

Deco challenges Roy to a dance-off competition in an arcade in the seaside town of Bray.

5:20pm (repeat)

The Upper Hand

Series 3, Episode 4 - Older Than Springtime

Caroline feels her age when she goes after the advertising account of a trendy fashion designer.

5:30pm (repeat)

Last Of The Summer Wine

Series 28, Episode 7 - The Crowcroft Challenge

Howard sees the hidden potential of wearing an all-engulfinq crow outfit.

5:30pm (repeat)

Brothers With No Game

Series 1, Episode 1 - The Heskey Role

After a date with work-mate Nicole, pushover and resident nice guy Theo ends up driving her across London for a hook-up with someone else. The Brothers are determined that he learn to deal with such girls.

6:10pm (repeat)

Last Of The Summer Wine

Series 28, Episode 7 - The Crowcroft Challenge

Howard sees the hidden potential of wearing an all-engulfinq crow outfit.

6:50pm (repeat)

Only Fools And Horses

Series 7, Episode 5 - He Ain't Heavy, He's My Uncle

Uncle Albert has been mugged and Del is determined to bring the perpetrators to justice. But is Uncle Albert telling all he knows...?

7pm (repeat)

Birds Of A Feather

Series 1, Episode 6 - Substitute

Sharon is refusing to see Chris and considers divorce. Tracey is smitten with Dorien's hunky celebrity lodger and is furious when she receives a letter written by Darryl to another woman, though it isn't as it seems.

7:40pm (repeat)

As Time Goes By

Series 2, Episode 3 - Visiting Rocky

After a trip on a rowing lake that leaves him feeling rather old and rather embarrassed, Lionel takes Jean to Hampshire to meet his father - who has a surprise announcement to make.

8pm (repeat)

You, Me & Them

Series 1, Episode 4 - The Funeral

A lecherous mourner and a bitter widow make Ed and Lauren's first funeral together tricky. Elsewhere, Debs adds spice to her love life.

8pm (repeat)

Brothers With No Game

Series 1, Episode 1 - The Heskey Role

After a date with work-mate Nicole, pushover and resident nice guy Theo ends up driving her across London for a hook-up with someone else. The Brothers are determined that he learn to deal with such girls.

8pm
60 min version (repeat)

QI. Image shows from L to R: Alan Davies, Stephen Fry. Copyright: TalkbackThames

QI

Series I, Episode 7 - Incomprehensible

With Brian Cox, Ross Noble and Sue Perkins.

8:20pm (repeat)

Last Of The Summer Wine

Series 31, Episode 4 - Howard And The Great Outdoors

Hobbo and his 'team' turn Howard into a tramp to show Pearl how rough he's been living and convince her to take him back.

8:30pm (repeat)

Twenty Twelve

Series 1, Episode 1

With time ticking inexorably downwards, the marketing team come up with a major public event to mark the '1000 days to go' milestone.

8:40pm (repeat)

Outnumbered

Series 2, Episode 5

Mum and Dad try to organise a quiet meal out together. But first they have to escape the house!

9pm (repeat)

Walking The Dogs

Touching comedy drama based on the events of an intruder breaking into the Queen's bedroom. Stars Emma Thompson as the monarch.

9pm (repeat)

Smack The Pony

Stylish, original and uninhibited Emmy award-winning sketch show starring Fiona Allen, Doon Mackichan and Sally Phillips.

9pm
60 min

Alexander Armstrong's Real Ripping Yarns

Alexander Armstrong explores the literature that inspired Michael Palin and Terry Jones's classic comedy anthology series, Ripping Yarns.

9:20pm (repeat)

Outnumbered

Series 2, Episode 7

The Brockman family have a very restless night. Will anyone get any sleep? And what on earth are those dreadful noises coming from next door? And why is there a policeman at their front door?

9:30pm (repeat)

Monty Python: Almost The Truth

Episode 5

The Pythons look back at the making of arguably the greatest comedy film ever, Monty Python's Life Of Brian, and the controversy it caused.

9:30pm (repeat)

Peep Show

Series 1, Episode 1 - Warring Factions

Mark's inappropriate hand placing leave him in a bad position with the object of his desire, Sophie.

9:30pm (repeat)

The Inbetweeners

Series 3, Episode 5 - Will Is Home Alone

Will's mum is away for a weekend with old schoolfriend Fergus. Will is left home alone and the other boys take full advantage of the situation.

10pm (repeat)

Only Fools And Horses

Series 7, Episode 6 - Three Men, A Woman And A Baby

The time has finally arrived for Raquel to give birth to "Son of Del", and Rodney is convinced that evil forces are afoot.

10pm (repeat)

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Series 7, Episode 7 - African Death Face

When Donna goes to London to get her dream job, Janet and Gaz are left alone together. After a night of Lambrini and candles they wake up and realise they've had sex again. Donna learns the art of bluff during her interview. Louise starts having contractions.

4Music. Copyright: Channel 4 Television Corporation

10pm
50 min version (repeat)

8 Out Of 10 Cats

Series 14, Episode 7

On the show this week, Sean is joined by Vernon Kay and Henning Wehn, whilst celebrity chef Lorraine Pascale and Johnny Vegas are on Jon's team.

10pm (repeat)

Desmond's

Series 4, Episode 8 - Susu Again

Porkpie is bitten by the lovebug when an old flame from the West Indies turns up at the shop.

10pm (repeat)

Mock The Week Looks Back At...

Episode 5 - Law And Order

Highlights include Al Murray as the 'Voice of the Silent Majority', Dara O Briain losing control and Micky Flanagan's Traveller Curse.

10pm (repeat)

QI

Series C, Episode 10 - Cleve Crudgington

With Mark Steel, Clive Anderson and John Sessions.

10pm (repeat)

Russell Howard's Good News

Topical stand-up comedy and chat show hosted by Russell Howard.

10pm (repeat)

Ripping Yarns

Tomkinson's Schooldays. This episode celebrates the role that pointless violence in public schools has made to our glorious nation.

10pm
50 min

Celebrity Juice

Series 11, Episode 4

Keith, Fearne and Holly return for more topical celebrity jokes and games. Guests this time are Joe Swash, X Factor winner Sam Bailey, TV presenter Alex Brooker and diving hero Tom Daley.

10pm (repeat)

The IT Crowd

Series 1, Episode 5 - The Haunting Of Bill Crouse

Moss goes to extraordinary lengths to help Jen escape the unwanted attention of potential suitor Bill Crouse. Meanwhile, Roy is busy trying to escape the attentions of an admirer of his own...

10:20pm (repeat)

Auf Wiedersehen, Pet

Comedy drama about a group of builders who flee overseas in search of work.

10:30pm
30 min

Some People With Jokes

Series 2, Episode 2 - Some Irish People With Jokes

It's not just Irish eyes that are smiling when some of the Emerald Isle's finest exports tell their favourite jokes. Forget about the gift of the gab, this lot have got the gift of the gag.

10:35pm (repeat)

Edge Of Heaven

Episode 6

After his "moment of madness" with Carly last week, can Alfie come clean with Michelle without wrecking their relationship? Donkey suggests he stay silent but Alfie is convinced the only way he and Michelle can move forward as a couple is by telling the truth and hoping she forgives him.

10:35pm (repeat)

The IT Crowd

Series 1, Episode 6 - Aunt Irma Visits

Jen explains that she is subject to very powerful mood swings around a certain time every month.

10:40pm (repeat)

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Series 7, Episode 8 - Borry

With Donna about to go to London, the secret of Janet and Gaz's relationship comes out. Then Donna reveals she's got a secret of her own. Louise finally has her baby, enthusiastically assisted by Munch.

10:40pm (repeat)

Dara O Briain: School Of Hard Sums

Series 3, Episode 5

Mathematics minus all the boring bits. Guests Josh Widdicombe and Peter Serafinowicz hope to have the winning formula as they join Dara outdoors for some al fresco arithmetic.

10:50pm
50 min version (repeat)

8 Out Of 10 Cats

Series 11, Highlights Special - Best Bits

Hilarious highlights from the latest series, hosted by Jimmy Carr with team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson. With guests Jack Dee, Jedward, Sarah Millican, Amy Childs, Micky Flanagan, Jack Whitehall, Charlie Brooker and Gok Wan.

11pm (repeat)

Threesome

Series 2, Episode 7 - I Don't

Alice and Mitch have finally decided to get married. There's only one problem...

11pm (repeat)

Brothers With No Game

Series 1, Episode 1 - The Heskey Role

After a date with work-mate Nicole, pushover and resident nice guy Theo ends up driving her across London for a hook-up with someone else. The Brothers are determined that he learn to deal with such girls.

11:10pm (repeat)

Men Behaving Badly

Series 6, Episode 5 - Ten

Tony desperately tries to impress Deborah's mother.

11:40pm
60 min version (repeat)

QI

Series I, Episode 7 - Incomprehensible

With Brian Cox, Ross Noble and Sue Perkins.

11:50pm (repeat)

The Young Ones

Series 1, Episode 3 - Boring

The housemates are bored, so head off to the pub. If only they really opened their eyes and looked around, they might find something interesting going on...

12:20am (repeat)

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Series 7, Episode 7 - African Death Face

When Donna goes to London to get her dream job, Janet and Gaz are left alone together. After a night of Lambrini and candles they wake up and realise they've had sex again. Donna learns the art of bluff during her interview. Louise starts having contractions.

12:35am (repeat)

You, Me & Them

Series 1, Episode 4 - The Funeral

A lecherous mourner and a bitter widow make Ed and Lauren's first funeral together tricky. Elsewhere, Debs adds spice to her love life.

1am (repeat)

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Series 7, Episode 8 - Borry

With Donna about to go to London, the secret of Janet and Gaz's relationship comes out. Then Donna reveals she's got a secret of her own. Louise finally has her baby, enthusiastically assisted by Munch.

1:10am (repeat)

Outnumbered

Series 2, Episode 5

Mum and Dad try to organise a quiet meal out together. But first they have to escape the house!

1:15am (repeat)

Walking The Dogs

Touching comedy drama based on the events of an intruder breaking into the Queen's bedroom. Stars Emma Thompson as the monarch.

1:40am (repeat)

Men Behaving Badly

Series 6, Episode 5 - Ten

Tony desperately tries to impress Deborah's mother.

1:40am (repeat)

Jo Brand's Big Splash

Episode 1

Jo attempts synchronised diving and invites Sean Lock to join her in a very muddy race.

1:40am (repeat)

Some People With Jokes

Series 2, Episode 2 - Some Irish People With Jokes

It's not just Irish eyes that are smiling when some of the Emerald Isle's finest exports tell their favourite jokes. Forget about the gift of the gab, this lot have got the gift of the gag.

1:45am (repeat)

My Mad Fat Diary

Series 2, Episode 7 - Chapter 7: Glue

Rae finds herself in a dark place without the gang and her mum for support. She's alienated everyone and now a crisis with Chloe leaves her feeling helpless. It's down to Rae to save the day but is she really strong enough?

2am (repeat)

Monarch Of The Glen

Series 3, Episode 9

Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.

2am (repeat)

Brothers With No Game

Series 1, Episode 1 - The Heskey Role

After a date with work-mate Nicole, pushover and resident nice guy Theo ends up driving her across London for a hook-up with someone else. The Brothers are determined that he learn to deal with such girls.

2:10am (repeat)

The Young Ones

Series 1, Episode 3 - Boring

The housemates are bored, so head off to the pub. If only they really opened their eyes and looked around, they might find something interesting going on...

2:15am (repeat)