TV schedule for 13th March 2014 (full list)

6am (repeat)

Home To Roost

Series 1, Episode 4 - Suspect

A string of petty criminality is sweeping the neighbourhood, and suspicion falls upon Matthew. From swapped and vandalised house signs to petty theft in the shopping arcade, it seems the young Mr Willows has some explaining to do.

6:10am (repeat)

Waiting For God

Series 2, Episode 5

After an uncharacteristically blunt interjection from Tom, Jane transforms herself into a 'beauty queen' in order to attract Harvey's attention. Meanwhile, Sarah arrives with news that she is engaged to be married to entrepreneur Sam Parry.

6:40am (repeat)

Ever Decreasing Circles

Series 4, Episode 6

Ann receives her latest Open University examination grades, and they're not good. When Hilda sees Ann climbing the fence into Paul's back-garden, she believes them to be having an affair. Martin has to be told.

7:15am (repeat)

Steptoe And Son

Series 7, Episode 2 - A Star Is Born

Albert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.

7:30am (repeat)

Desmond's

Series 3, Episode 6 - Vanity Merchants

Gloria and Louise have a great new idea - they are going to start a men's beauty business. Shirley is dubious, but Desmond agrees.

7:55am (repeat)

'Allo 'Allo!

Series 5, Episode 1 - Desperate Doings In The Dungeon

Captain Bertorelli moves into Café René's spare room, and in on Madame Edith. Meanwhile, Michelle has Mimi and Yvette raid the Colonel's quarters for photographic film, and René...well, he has to help rescue Herr Flick...

8:30am (repeat)

'Allo 'Allo!

Series 5, Episode 2 - The Camera In The Potato

After Gruber rescues René from the dungeon, Michelle equips him with a camera disguised as a potato and sends the unwilling café owner straight back to the chateau in search of the safe containing the plans to invade England. Whose bedroom does fate dictate it's hidden in...?

8:30am (repeat)

Timmy Time

Spin-off from Shaun The Sheep for the CBeebies channel, featuring Timmy the baby lamb and his friends.

9:05am (repeat)

As Time Goes By

Lionel and Jean were young lovers until accidentally losing touch. Years later they meet again by chance and unexpectedly rekindle their romance.

9:45am (repeat)

Goodnight Sweetheart

Series 3, Episode 9 - Someone To Watch Over Me

Having missed the interview which Yvonne set up for him, Gary has to pretend to be ill. Back in 1942, Phoebe really is ill but will 1990s medicine work in the past?

10:15am (repeat)

Sooty

Series 2, Episode 19 - It's A Dog's Life

It's Mr. Slater's annual dog show, and Sooty is determined that Sweep will win the grand prize. But will he be brave enough to attempt the Doggie Assault Course? Guest starring The Krankies.

10:25am (repeat)

One Foot In The Grave

Series 1, Episode 4 - I'll Retire To Bedlam

Victor and Margaret are trapped in their garden shed by a swarm of bees. Later, a trip to the eye clinic gives Victor a chance to moan about the NHS. While he's out, Margaret agrees to look after her niece's two children for a day.

11:05am (repeat)

Waiting For God

Series 2, Episode 5

After an uncharacteristically blunt interjection from Tom, Jane transforms herself into a 'beauty queen' in order to attract Harvey's attention. Meanwhile, Sarah arrives with news that she is engaged to be married to entrepreneur Sam Parry.

11:45am (repeat)

Last Of The Summer Wine

Series 25, Episode 8 - Things To Do When Your Wife Runs Off With A Turkish Waiter

The man Barry and Glenda once exchanged addresses with turns up.

12:25pm (repeat)

Last Of The Summer Wine

Series 25, Episode 9 - Beware Of Laughing At Nora's Hats

Nora reveals long-standing feud with a woman who once made fun of her.

12:25pm (repeat)

Bottom Knocker Street

Episode 27 - World Of Veg

A high rating TV show offers a trillion pound prize for growing a large vegetable.

12:40pm (repeat)

Bottom Knocker Street

Episode 46 - Dinga Dinga Doo

A monster wearing a fez is loose on the streets.

12:50pm (repeat)

Dani's House

Series 4, Episode 3 - The Natural

When Jack is cast in a small role on McHurties Hospital, both he and Dani are embarrassed to find that they are supposed to have an on-screen kiss. Max and Ben explore a new glam rock sound for their band and end up with a smoking guitar.

1:05pm (repeat)

Ever Decreasing Circles

Series 4, Episode 6

Ann receives her latest Open University examination grades, and they're not good. When Hilda sees Ann climbing the fence into Paul's back-garden, she believes them to be having an affair. Martin has to be told.

1:45pm (repeat)

Steptoe And Son

Series 7, Episode 2 - A Star Is Born

Albert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.

2pm (repeat)

Birds Of A Feather

Series 7, Episode 8 - Are You Being Served?

Sharon's feeling broody, and on the look out for a man to make her pregnant. Meanwhile, Dorien's incensed that her holiday romance wasn't as it appeared: but she's determined to make it work for her.

2:25pm (repeat)

'Allo 'Allo!

Series 5, Episode 1 - Desperate Doings In The Dungeon

Captain Bertorelli moves into Café René's spare room, and in on Madame Edith. Meanwhile, Michelle has Mimi and Yvette raid the Colonel's quarters for photographic film, and René...well, he has to help rescue Herr Flick...

2:40pm (repeat)

Birds Of A Feather

Series 7, Episode 9 - Never The Twain

With Tracey refusing to visit him, Darryl's sinking into depression and contemplating suicide. Meanwhile, Dorien's tabloid gossip doesn't quite go to plan, Sharon's search for a man has hit the buffers, and Garth is moving - to France!

3pm (repeat)

'Allo 'Allo!

Series 5, Episode 2 - The Camera In The Potato

After Gruber rescues René from the dungeon, Michelle equips him with a camera disguised as a potato and sends the unwilling café owner straight back to the chateau in search of the safe containing the plans to invade England. Whose bedroom does fate dictate it's hidden in...?

3:20pm (repeat)

Last Of The Summer Wine

Series 29, Episode 10 - It's Never Ten Years

Clegg and Truly reminisce fondly about their old friend Compo, who suffered at the hands of Nora Batty - and them.

3:20pm (repeat)

Sooty

Series 2, Episode 20 - Record Breakers

Sooty, Sweep and Soo are desperate to break a world record for judge Boris McSquirter, will Sooty's giant brick tower win the day, or will Sweep become the tallest dog in the world? Guest starring Richard Arnold.

3:35pm (repeat)

As Time Goes By

Lionel and Jean were young lovers until accidentally losing touch. Years later they meet again by chance and unexpectedly rekindle their romance.

4pm (repeat)

Monarch Of The Glen

Series 2, Episode 2

Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.

4pm (repeat)

Shaun The Sheep

Series 4, Episode 9 - Prize Possession

The Farmer can't believe his luck - he has a winning ticket! He just needs to keep it safe until morning and there's only one dog for the job. Unfortunately, Bitzer is a hopeless guard dog. Can he rescue the winning ticket, or has he lost the Farmer's fortune?

4:15pm (repeat)

Goodnight Sweetheart

Series 3, Episode 9 - Someone To Watch Over Me

Having missed the interview which Yvonne set up for him, Gary has to pretend to be ill. Back in 1942, Phoebe really is ill but will 1990s medicine work in the past?

4:15pm (repeat)

Are You Being Served?

Series 10, Episode 5 - The Night Club

When Mr. Grace gives the staff permission to use the shop floor for a business after hours, they decide to establish a classy night club. Before they can open, they opt to film an advert to be shown in the local cinema.

4:20pm (repeat)

Home To Roost

Series 1, Episode 5 - Dating Henry

There is wine in the cooler and candlesticks on the table, and Henry has shave and changed. It takes Matthew a little while to realise his father has a date, but he's shocked when he discovers just who it is.

4:45pm (repeat)

'Allo 'Allo!

Series 6, Episode 8 - Rising To The Occasion

With the Colonel, Flick and Von Smallhousen held by the Communist Resistance, Gruber calls in Von Flockenstuffen to have General Von Klinkerhoffen sectioned. Back in the town, Michelle's plan to have the airmen escape by balloon goes awry when helium cannisters deploy too early...

4:55pm (repeat)

One Foot In The Grave

Series 1, Episode 4 - I'll Retire To Bedlam

Victor and Margaret are trapped in their garden shed by a swarm of bees. Later, a trip to the eye clinic gives Victor a chance to moan about the NHS. While he's out, Margaret agrees to look after her niece's two children for a day.

4:55pm (repeat)

Second Thoughts

Series 3, Episode 2 - Youth and Consequences

Faith realises that mid-life crises do not happen only to other people.

5pm
30 min

Roy. Image shows from L to R: Becky (Martha Byrne), Maura (Cathy Belton), Bill (Simon Delaney). Copyright: JAM Media

Roy

Series 3, Episode 8 - Mocking Is Catching

Roy must learn to acquire true forgiveness from his friends when he begins mocking them whilst playing the Jester during the school's Shakespeare Day.

5:20pm (repeat)

The Upper Hand

Series 2, Episode 1 - Common Entrance

Jo has her heart set on a scholarship to elite boarding school St. Hilda's, and with a few strings pulled by Caroline she's sure to get in. Charlie, however, is nowhere near as enthusiastic.

5:25pm (repeat)

Bottom Knocker Street

Episode 37 - Fennella Fenn The Comedienne

The nation's most famous comedienne is booked to present her annual TV show from Bottom Knocker Street. Councillor Cowdrey thinks that anyone can be funny.

5:35pm (repeat)

Last Of The Summer Wine

Series 25, Episode 8 - Things To Do When Your Wife Runs Off With A Turkish Waiter

The man Barry and Glenda once exchanged addresses with turns up.

5:40pm (repeat)

Bottom Knocker Street

Episode 31 - Big Trouble In Little Cowdrey

Councillor Cowdrey's internal nastiness escapes from his body in the shape of a small boy.

6:15pm (repeat)

Last Of The Summer Wine

Series 25, Episode 9 - Beware Of Laughing At Nora's Hats

Nora reveals long-standing feud with a woman who once made fun of her.

6:55pm (repeat)

Only Fools And Horses

Series 6, Episode 1 - Yuppy Love

Del has gone all high-powered and trendy in an attempt to adopt a yuppy image. Rodney is unimpressed as his attention is focused on getting his computer diploma at night school.

7pm (repeat)

Birds Of A Feather

Series 7, Episode 9 - Never The Twain

With Tracey refusing to visit him, Darryl's sinking into depression and contemplating suicide. Meanwhile, Dorien's tabloid gossip doesn't quite go to plan, Sharon's search for a man has hit the buffers, and Garth is moving - to France!

7:40pm (repeat)

Last Of The Summer Wine

Series 29, Episode 10 - It's Never Ten Years

Clegg and Truly reminisce fondly about their old friend Compo, who suffered at the hands of Nora Batty - and them.

8pm (repeat)

You, Me & Them

Series 1, Episode 1 - First Encounters

Lauren's worst fears are realised when her family meets her older boyfriend Ed for the first time. Ed's ex-wife causes mischief.

8pm
60 min version (repeat)

QI

Series J, Episode 11 - Jumpers

With Ross Noble, Julian Clary and Bill Bailey.

8pm (repeat)

Ever Decreasing Circles

Series 2, Episode 5

Martin is determined to be Snooker champion and when the local tournament favourite moves away he believes the title is his. But Paul enters and is odds-on to win it - or perhaps not after Ann has a quiet word with him.

8:20pm (repeat)

Waiting For God

Series 5, Episode 5

Marion's hysterical with lust for Fat Boy Higgins, flatly refusing to accept that he was in fact Geoffrey. At Bayview, Diana's rushed to hospital after collapsing at Tom's shock proposal of marriage, and Jane's pursuing her newfound desire to become a bride of Christ.

8:40pm (repeat)

Outnumbered

Series 1, Episode 1

We meet the three children. They are a regal five-year-old girl with a talent for interrogation and an interest in nits, a seven-year-old boy with a penchant for lying and an 11-year-old who is gearing up for his scary first day at secondary school.

9pm (repeat)

Michael McIntyre: Live & Laughing

A TV broadcast of Michael McIntyre's sell-out 2008 stand-up show which cemented the comic's status as one of the UK's top stand-up stars.

9:20pm (repeat)

Gavin & Stacey

Series 3, Episode 5

It's Bank Holiday Monday and the Essex contingent arrives for a sunny day out at the beach. Doris even puts her sun dress on!

9:30pm (repeat)

Monty Python: Almost The Truth

Episode 2

The legendary troupe reflects on Monty Python's Flying Circus, revealing how the group's failures turned to success and how the hit series influenced comedians to come.

9:30pm (repeat)

The Inbetweeners

Series 3, Episode 2 - The Gig And The Girlfriend

Simon is chasing a fit girl in the year below, so to impress her, he goes to his first gig since his mum took him to see Take That at Wembley Arena. Will, Jay and Neil tag along and pretty much ruin Simon's chances, but thankfully the bouncers are nice enough.

10pm (repeat)

Only Fools And Horses

Series 6, Episode 2 - Danger UXD

There is trouble in store for the Trotters when Del puts his 'high profile' business strategy into overdrive.

10pm (repeat)

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Series 5, Episode 7 - Crab

It's the morning of Janet and Jonny's wedding but unfortunately the bride and groom are nowhere to be seen. Donna worries that Janet has done a runner. She decides that in order to find them her only option is to call the man she despises... Gaz.

10pm (repeat)

Doll & Em

Series 1, Episode 4

On set, Em's anxiety about her performance grows when she's distracted by a co-star.

4Music. Copyright: Channel 4 Television Corporation

10pm
50 min version (repeat)

8 Out Of 10 Cats

Series 11, Episode 6

Jack Dee, Kelly Osbourne, Micky Flanagan and Jamelia join Jimmy, Jon and Sean.

10pm (repeat)

Mock The Week

Series 6, Episode 9

With Lauren Laverne and Michael McIntyre.

10pm
30 min

Bluestone 42

Series 2, Episode 3

Nick needs some peace and quiet so he can focus on building a forensic profile of the Taliban bomber, but his team are constantly annoying him.

10pm
30 min

The Walshes

Episode 1 - Doctor Burger

After weeks of putting off the inevitable, Ciara finally agrees to bring her new boyfriend, the quiet, self-effacing Graham, back to meet the family...

10pm
50 min

Celebrity Juice

Series 11, Episode 1

Joining the panel in the first episode of the new series are acid-tongued Dancing On Ice judge Jason Gardiner, pop princess Pixie Lott and former boy band members Lee Ryan and Kian Egan.

10pm (repeat)

Fresh Meat

Series 3, Episode 2

As Vod struggles to get rid of her holiday romance, Kingsley finds himself dating both Heather and Josie, and JP attempts to 'poach' a girl from Howard.

10:20pm (repeat)

Auf Wiedersehen, Pet

Comedy drama about a group of builders who flee overseas in search of work.

10:35pm (repeat)

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Series 5, Episode 8 - Fat

Gaz is unable to get over losing Donna, and has been consoling himself by constant eating... and he's put on 15 stone! He's mortified when he bumps into Donna and she can't believe the size of him.

10:40pm (repeat)

Dara O Briain: School Of Hard Sums

Series 3, Episode 2

Dara O Briain and learned friend Marcus du Sautoy teach guests Lee Mack and Miles Jupp a lesson or two in the engaging numbers show. The gang fence with pirate-themed posers.

10:45pm (repeat)

Edge Of Heaven

Episode 3

Keen to keep their kiss under wraps for fear of hurting Carly, Alfie and Michelle go their separate ways. But Carly's got more important things on her mind - she's started online dating and she's having a blast! So why should Alfie and Michelle stop themselves from taking the plunge too?

10:50pm
50 min version (repeat)

8 Out Of 10 Cats

Series 13, Episode 8

Reginald D Hunter, Rachel Riley, Josh Widdicombe and Gemma Collins are the guests joining Jimmy, Jon and Sean this week.

11pm (repeat)

Image shows from L to R: Emun Elliott, Amy Huberman, Stephen Wight

Threesome

Series 1, Episode 2

Mitch and Richie use drugs as a force for good and put up all the flatpack furniture in the nursery while high as a kite.

11:10pm (repeat)

Men Behaving Badly

Series 4, Episode 4 - Three Girlfriends

Flat share sitcom following security salesman Gary and his lodger, as they attempt to navigate the opposite sex.

11:40pm
60 min version (repeat)

QI

Series J, Episode 11 - Jumpers

With Ross Noble, Julian Clary and Bill Bailey.

11:50pm (repeat)

Early Doors

Series 1, Episode 4

The excitement never stops in The Grapes, with the drawing of the football card. The Police are keeping busy, with drug raids, helicopter rides and free electric on the agenda.

Midnight (repeat)

Comedy Central At The Comedy Store

Stand-up comedy from London's famous club, The Comedy Store.

12:05am (repeat)

Rising Damp

Film adaptation of the popular ITV sitcom. Middle-aged Rigsby plays landlord to college tutor Ruth Jones, medical student Philip and art student John.

12:20am (repeat)

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Series 5, Episode 7 - Crab

It's the morning of Janet and Jonny's wedding but unfortunately the bride and groom are nowhere to be seen. Donna worries that Janet has done a runner. She decides that in order to find them her only option is to call the man she despises... Gaz.

12:30am (repeat)

You, Me & Them

Series 1, Episode 1 - First Encounters

Lauren's worst fears are realised when her family meets her older boyfriend Ed for the first time. Ed's ex-wife causes mischief.

12:30am (repeat)

Bluestone 42

Series 2, Episode 3

Nick needs some peace and quiet so he can focus on building a forensic profile of the Taliban bomber, but his team are constantly annoying him.

12:40am (repeat)

PhoneShop

Series 3, Episode 1 - Baking Bad

Things are looking up for Lance: he's found something very naughty in the shed, and, after years of waiting, he's been admitted to the private member's club of his dreams. Now all he needs to do is make it to the end of the day without anything going wrong. Oh...

1am (repeat)

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Series 5, Episode 8 - Fat

Gaz is unable to get over losing Donna, and has been consoling himself by constant eating... and he's put on 15 stone! He's mortified when he bumps into Donna and she can't believe the size of him.

1:10am (repeat)

Outnumbered

Series 1, Episode 1

We meet the three children. They are a regal five-year-old girl with a talent for interrogation and an interest in nits, a seven-year-old boy with a penchant for lying and an 11-year-old who is gearing up for his scary first day at secondary school.

1:10am (repeat)

PhoneShop

Series 3, Episode 2 - Nick Nack Paddywhack

Ashley's in the doghouse with Jerwayne after causing a girl-drought of epic proportions. Can Jerwayne get the interest of the Zara girls once again, or has Ashley wrecked their chances on the high street for good?

1:35am (repeat)

Mock The Week

Series 6, Episode 9

With Lauren Laverne and Michael McIntyre.

1:40am (repeat)

Men Behaving Badly

Series 4, Episode 4 - Three Girlfriends

Flat share sitcom following security salesman Gary and his lodger, as they attempt to navigate the opposite sex.

1:45am (repeat)

Threesome

Series 1, Episode 1

Alice turns 30 and has a drug-addled threesome with her boyfriend and their gay friend. When she discovers she's pregnant it's a decision whether to keep it or not.

1:55am (repeat)

Ever Decreasing Circles

Series 2, Episode 5

Martin is determined to be Snooker champion and when the local tournament favourite moves away he believes the title is his. But Paul enters and is odds-on to win it - or perhaps not after Ann has a quiet word with him.

2am (repeat)

Monarch Of The Glen

Series 2, Episode 2

Comedy drama set in the Scottish Highlands, based on the comic novels of Compton Mackenzie.

2:10am (repeat)

Early Doors

Series 1, Episode 4

The excitement never stops in The Grapes, with the drawing of the football card. The Police are keeping busy, with drug raids, helicopter rides and free electric on the agenda.

2:10am (repeat)

Argumental

Series 4, Episode 3

Daniel Sloss and Andrew Maxwell take part in the fast-talking panel show. Hosted by Sean Lock, with Robert Webb and Seann Walsh.

2:20am (repeat)

My Mad Fat Diary

Series 2, Episode 4 - Chapter 4: Friday

As Rae grows closer to Liam, his new girlfriend Amy starts getting suspicious and threatens to beat Rae up if she doesn't back off her man. Meanwhile, Archie is struggling to cope after Rae outed him to Lois. When Lois threatens to tell the entire college the truth, Archie has to decide if he can finally face his fears and come out.

2:25am (repeat)

The Walshes

Episode 1 - Doctor Burger

After weeks of putting off the inevitable, Ciara finally agrees to bring her new boyfriend, the quiet, self-effacing Graham, back to meet the family...

2:40am (repeat)

Argumental

Series 4, Episode 4

Jimmy Carr and Miles Jupp debate various topics, with the help of Sean Lock, Seann Walsh and Robert Webb.

3am (repeat)

Auf Wiedersehen, Pet

Comedy drama about a group of builders who flee overseas in search of work.

3:10am (repeat)

Fresh Meat

Series 3, Episode 2

As Vod struggles to get rid of her holiday romance, Kingsley finds himself dating both Heather and Josie, and JP attempts to 'poach' a girl from Howard.

3:40am (repeat)

Dirty Sexy Funny: Olivia Lee

A hidden camera prank show for Comedy Central starring Olivia Lee. Features stunts, scripted sketches and setups.

3:45am (repeat)

Monty Python: Almost The Truth

Episode 2

The legendary troupe reflects on Monty Python's Flying Circus, revealing how the group's failures turned to success and how the hit series influenced comedians to come.

3:50am (repeat)

Carpool

Chat show in which Robert Llewellyn interviews celebrities whilst driving them in his car.

TV schedule Thursday 13th March 2014

Share this page

Subscribe to our newsletters