Television
TV schedule Tuesday 12th March 2013
The Brittas Empire
Despite his ambition and good intentions, everything seems to go wrong at Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre when manager Gordon Brittas is around.
On The Buses
Series 3, Episode 10 - The New UniformsStan and Jack try the new uniforms out, but they have an unforeseen effect on the opposite sex.
The Green Green Grass
Series 1, Episode 6 - Sex And The CountryMarlene discovers the farmhands concocting a virility potion for Rocky the bull, and manages to sneak a dose into husband Boycie's coffee. Tyler arouses suspicions when make-up is found in his room, and his parents are relieved to be told he has a girlfriend - until it transpires she's also his teacher.
The Brittas Empire
Despite his ambition and good intentions, everything seems to go wrong at Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre when manager Gordon Brittas is around.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 15, Episode 3 - The Black WidowToo much home brew after Ernie Mordue's funeral leaves Compo and Foggy with a bad hangover and Clegg with a good woman.
The Upper Hand
Series 4, Episode 8 - Surprise, SurpriseCaroline plans an innocent dinner party but gets more than she bargained for.
As Time Goes By
Lionel and Jean were young lovers until accidentally losing touch. Years later they meet again by chance and unexpectedly rekindle their romance.
Sooty
Modern incarnation of the children's comedy series. The puppets Sooty, Sweep and Soo help Richard Cadell at a coastal holiday park.
Dani's House
Series 3, Episode 9 - Jack's RivalAn old DJ competitor of Jack's shows up to fix the plumbing at Dani's house, and Dani's lyric book of songs mysteriously goes missing. When Sam and Dani totally fall for his charm, Max and Ben must turn detectives to help Jack prove it's his old nemesis who's nicked the book and is not what he seems.
My Family
Series 6, Episode 4 - Living The DreamWhen is pyramid selling not pyramid selling? When Ben says so, apparently.
Keeping Up Appearances
Suburban snob Hyacinth Bucket devotes her time to monitoring standards and attempting to impress influential people.
Me & My Monsters
Series 2, Episode 12 - Alone TogetherWhen the monsters are left home alone while the family visit Kate's parents, they receive a surprise visit from a couple of burglars. The burglars get more than they bargained for as the monsters defend the Carlson house in true monster style.
Scoop
Series 1, Episode 11 - Keep Young And BeautifulDigby is sent to a local cosmetics laboratory to investigate an anti-ageing cream.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 15, Episode 2 - Where There's Smoke There's BarbecueA portable gas barbecue promises idyllic feasts in the countryside for Compo, Clegg and Foggy - if they can master the gas pressure valve.
The Admirable Crichton
1957 film based on J M Barrie's play. Kenneth More stars as butler to a family who find themselves shipwrecked on a desert island.
Ever Decreasing Circles
Series 2, Episode 2Paul has outstanding abilities on the cricket field. Martin knows this and he should make him the first name on the team sheet - but can he bring himself to pick his unwitting rival?
The Good Life
Series 2, Episode 5 - MutinyMargo's performance of the Sound of Music coincides with the day 'Sir' wants the Leadbetters to entertain an important client.
Dani's House
Series 3, Episode 9 - Jack's RivalAn old DJ competitor of Jack's shows up to fix the plumbing at Dani's house, and Dani's lyric book of songs mysteriously goes missing. When Sam and Dani totally fall for his charm, Max and Ben must turn detectives to help Jack prove it's his old nemesis who's nicked the book and is not what he seems.
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 1, Episode 1 - Rites Of PassageTV repair man Gary's search for a customer takes him over fifty years further than he intended. Or could it all be a dream? Finding himself in 1940s Britain, with the bombs raining around him, Gary soon discovers that he can handily walk between the present and the past. Unfortunately, this new-found gift sees him torn not only between two periods, but two lovers.
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 3, Episode 6 - The Great Un-EscapeWhilst the inhabitants of the nearby POW camp have been busy tunneling out, Fairfax and Carstairs are desperate to tunnel in. Helped by René, Edith and the rest of the resistance, they break through just as the tunnel is discovered by the Colonel and Captain; soon all are trapped inside the camp!
Only Fools And Horses
Series 7, Episode 4 - The Class Of 62A school reunion has unexpected repercussions for the Trotter family, as events threaten to disrupt Del's glorious path to fatherhood.
My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 15, Episode 3 - The Black WidowToo much home brew after Ernie Mordue's funeral leaves Compo and Foggy with a bad hangover and Clegg with a good woman.
As Time Goes By
Lionel and Jean were young lovers until accidentally losing touch. Years later they meet again by chance and unexpectedly rekindle their romance.
Shaun The Sheep
Series 3, Episode 12 - FossilsBitzer has a map and a nose for hidden treasure - especially when it's a bone. This time he has unearthed more than he can chew. Shaun and the Flock get stuck in to help discover what he has found. It's beyond everyone's wildest dreams.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 9, Episode 1 - Why Does Norman Clegg Buy Ladies' Elastic Stockings?Arriving at Seymour's to find barriers and barbed wire,
Compo and Clegg realise that he must have invented something breathtakingly original: and so he has, but their initial interest is dimmed when the pedal-powered thing has to be road- and field-tested.
My Family
Series 6, Episode 4 - Living The DreamWhen is pyramid selling not pyramid selling? When Ben says so, apparently.
Only When I Laugh
Series 2, Episode 6 - The Lost SheepFiggis admits he's not been christened but sees the light when he meets a vicar.
Keeping Up Appearances
Suburban snob Hyacinth Bucket devotes her time to monitoring standards and attempting to impress influential people.
Faith In The Future
Series 2, Episode 5 - Young and FoolishFaith is tickled pink to discover a student has a crush on her, much to the amusement of daughter Hannah.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 15, Episode 2 - Where There's Smoke There's BarbecueA portable gas barbecue promises idyllic feasts in the countryside for Compo, Clegg and Foggy - if they can master the gas pressure valve.
The Johnny & Inel Show
Series 1, Episode 9Johnny and Inel are working hard to raise money for Comic Relief. Only Inel's ambitious plans for a Comic Relief quadrathlon proves too much for Johnny.
The Upper Hand
Series 4, Episode 9 - The FugitiveJoanna is devastated to hear that, according to Charlie, her grandfather is in prison.
My Parents Are Aliens
Long-running children's sitcom following the lives of three orphaned children. Their new foster parents are secretly aliens.
Ever Decreasing Circles
Series 2, Episode 2Paul has outstanding abilities on the cricket field. Martin knows this and he should make him the first name on the team sheet - but can he bring himself to pick his unwitting rival?
The Good Life
Series 2, Episode 5 - MutinyMargo's performance of the Sound of Music coincides with the day 'Sir' wants the Leadbetters to entertain an important client.
Shaun The Sheep
Stop-motion animated children's sitcom by Aardman Animations for CBBC. Wildly popular with not just kids, but adults too.
Goodnight Sweetheart
Series 1, Episode 2 - Fools Rush InGary may refuse to buy himself a suit for an interview in 1993 - but he can hardly take Phoebe to a 1940 dance in sweatshirt and trainers.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 9, Episode 1 - Why Does Norman Clegg Buy Ladies' Elastic Stockings?Arriving at Seymour's to find barriers and barbed wire,
Compo and Clegg realise that he must have invented something breathtakingly original: and so he has, but their initial interest is dimmed when the pedal-powered thing has to be road- and field-tested.
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 3, Episode 6 - The Great Un-EscapeWhilst the inhabitants of the nearby POW camp have been busy tunneling out, Fairfax and Carstairs are desperate to tunnel in. Helped by René, Edith and the rest of the resistance, they break through just as the tunnel is discovered by the Colonel and Captain; soon all are trapped inside the camp!
A League Of Their Own
Series 6, Episode 5The bad news is that Red team captain Jamie Redknapp is out of action and on the bench this week, but the good is that his absence is filled by former cricketer Shane Warne, comedian Jason Manford, presenter Gabby Logan and Chelsea's Frank Lampard.
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 6 - Men Without WomenFletcher has been offering his advice to his fellow prisoners on the topic of romance. Letters written home result in a visiting room full of wives and sweethearts, but Fletcher's visitor is his eldest daughter. Should he be following his own advice?
Blackadder
Black Adder The Third, Episode 5 - Amy And AmiabilityThe Prince is bankrupt. In order to secure funds, Blackadder suggests that his only option is to find a bride and marry into a moneyed family. Beautiful Amy Hardwood, daughter of a cotton magnate, seems a prime candidate.
Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow
Series 2, Episode 5 - BristolMighty Boosh star Noel Fielding headlines, with additional performances from Seann Walsh, Mike Gunn and Hal Cruttenden.
Stella
Series 2, Episode 9Alan and Aunty Brenda team up to raise funds in a last-ditch attempt to save the rugby club. Off the pitch, Rob and Stella try to rebuild their trust in one another, but his secret threatens to ruin everything.
Blackadder
Black Adder The Third, Episode 6 - Duel And DualityThe Prince has seduced and 'soiled' the Duke of Wellington's two nieces. When the triumphant war hero hears of George's indiscretion, he swears to have his revenge - can Blackadder get him out of this one, or will the Royal meet his maker?
Heading Out
Episode 3Sara's ex-girlfriend Sabine turns up unexpectedly, throwing her life into disarray.
Heading Out
Episode 3Sara's ex-girlfriend Sabine turns up unexpectedly, throwing her life into disarray.
Alexander Armstrong's Big Ask
Series 2, Episode 3On fire in the panel show where guests must devise their own questions this time are Russell Kane, Reginald D Hunter and Susan Calman.
Bluestone 42
Series 1, Episode 2Nick has grown tired of eating the same food every day and is desperate to find something tastier. Mary encourages Nick to let Millsy run a re-training exercise. Millsy is ecstatic and ensures he does a very thorough job, much to the disdain of the team.
Shameless
Series 11, Episode 3When Lillian asks Kelly to rescue her savings from police surveillance, Kelly agrees for a cut of the stash.
Stella
Series 2, Episode 10Rob makes Stella a life-changing offer, but as chaos engulfs her family and friends, can she accept it?
Absolutely Fabulous
Series 2, Episode 6 - BirthWhen Patsy accidentally burns down the kitchen, the sitting room becomes temporary heart of the household. Finding themselves locked in the room all evening, Patsy, Eddy and Saffy are forced to confront their relationships with their mothers.
The Increasingly Poor Decisions Of Todd Margaret
Series 2, Episode 2 - Todd And His Valet Arrive In Leeds And What They Saw ThereTodd and Dave decide to take a trip to sell some Thunder Muscle. On the way, they stop at La Molecule, Alice's favorite restaurant, in an attempt to convince the chef to hire Alice so Todd can regain her favour. Todd complicates things by spinning a ridiculous lie.
The Inbetweeners
Series 2, Episode 3 - Will's BirthdayIt's Will's birthday, and he's planning a suitably grown-up dinner. Unfortunately, Will's party clashes with a far more popular one.
The Matt Lucas Awards
Series 2, Episode 2The nominations this time are provided by comedian Jason Manford, presenter Eamonn Holmes and stand-up Josie Long.
Mock The Week
Series 10, Episode 2Dara O'Briain and the team dissect another week's headlines with guests Chris Addison, Ed Byrne, Micky Flanagan and Diane Morgan.
The Alternative Comedy Experience
Series 1, Episode 6 - Danger ComediansTonight's show includes surreal stand-up Tony Law, idiosyncratic comedian Eleanor Tiernan, satirist Andy Zaltzman, German Henning Wehn and backstage chats with Stewart Lee.
Not The Nine O'Clock News
A compilation of some of the best-loved moments from the popular satirical sketch comedy of the 80s.
Celebrity Juice
Series 9, Episode 2Joining the panel this week are Coronation Street legend William Roache, Britain's Got Talent winners Ashleigh and Pudsey and comedian Chris Ramsey.
The Matt Lucas Awards
Series 2, Episode 2The nominations this time are provided by comedian Jason Manford, presenter Eamonn Holmes and stand-up Josie Long.
Cuckoo
Series 1, Episode 2 - Family MeetingKen is keen to lay down some ground rules for Cuckoo in the Thompson house and proposes a family meeting. But getting his own way turns out to have devastating knock on effects at Rachel's coming home party...
Derek
Series 1, Episode 6Hannah receives a phone call from a man claiming to be Derek's estranged father. She informs Derek and asks him whether he would like to arrange a meeting, however Derek doesn't want to know.
Marshal's Law
Episode 6 - The Christmas MiracleLesland helps a disgruntled nun to find her faith and meets God outside an old peoples' home.
The Young Ones
Series 1, Episode 1 - DemolitionNeil plans to kill himself, whilst Rick tunes into the first edition of a brand new show for all the cool young things: Nozin' Aroun'. Then Mike finds a letter informing them that the house is to be demolished.
The Matt Lucas Awards
Series 2, Episode 2The nominations this time are provided by comedian Jason Manford, presenter Eamonn Holmes and stand-up Josie Long.
Cuckoo
Series 1, Episode 2 - Family MeetingKen is keen to lay down some ground rules for Cuckoo in the Thompson house and proposes a family meeting. But getting his own way turns out to have devastating knock on effects at Rachel's coming home party...
Live At The Apollo
Series 7, Episode 6 - Sarah Millican, Steve Hughes, Russell KaneHost Sarah Millican is joined by Australian funny man Steve Hughes and the award-winning Russell Kane.
Bluestone 42
Series 1, Episode 1The Bluestone 42 team are called out on routine ops with their CIA liaison officer Carter, where things take a drastic turn. Back at base, Nick takes an instant shine to the new padre. How will she react?
Alan Carr: Chatty Man
Series 10, Episode 2 - Ant & Dec, Rylan Clark, Joanna Lumley, The VaccinesAlan is joined by top telly presenters Ant & Dec, recent Celebrity Big Brother winner Rylan Clark, and Joanna Lumley also pops in for a chat. Music is from The Vaccines, who perform their latest single Bad Mood live in the studio.
Richard Bacon's Beer & Pizza Club
Series 1, Episode 8This week's guests are comedian Rufus Hound, Lee Ryan from boy-band Blue and writer and broadcaster Alain de Botton.
Cuckoo
Series 1, Episode 2 - Family MeetingKen is keen to lay down some ground rules for Cuckoo in the Thompson house and proposes a family meeting. But getting his own way turns out to have devastating knock on effects at Rachel's coming home party...
Porridge
Series 1, Episode 6 - Men Without WomenFletcher has been offering his advice to his fellow prisoners on the topic of romance. Letters written home result in a visiting room full of wives and sweethearts, but Fletcher's visitor is his eldest daughter. Should he be following his own advice?
Bluestone 42
Series 1, Episode 2Nick has grown tired of eating the same food every day and is desperate to find something tastier. Mary encourages Nick to let Millsy run a re-training exercise. Millsy is ecstatic and ensures he does a very thorough job, much to the disdain of the team.
Bluestone 42
Series 1, Episode 2Nick has grown tired of eating the same food every day and is desperate to find something tastier. Mary encourages Nick to let Millsy run a re-training exercise. Millsy is ecstatic and ensures he does a very thorough job, much to the disdain of the team.
Commercial Breakdown
Enduringly popular series in which comedians present humorous television advertisements from around the world.
Blackadder
Black Adder The Third, Episode 5 - Amy And AmiabilityThe Prince is bankrupt. In order to secure funds, Blackadder suggests that his only option is to find a bride and marry into a moneyed family. Beautiful Amy Hardwood, daughter of a cotton magnate, seems a prime candidate.
Alexander Armstrong's Big Ask
Series 2, Episode 3On fire in the panel show where guests must devise their own questions this time are Russell Kane, Reginald D Hunter and Susan Calman.
Commercial Breakdown
Enduringly popular series in which comedians present humorous television advertisements from around the world.
Blackadder
Black Adder The Third, Episode 6 - Duel And DualityThe Prince has seduced and 'soiled' the Duke of Wellington's two nieces. When the triumphant war hero hears of George's indiscretion, he swears to have his revenge - can Blackadder get him out of this one, or will the Royal meet his maker?
Mock The Week
Series 10, Episode 2Dara O'Briain and the team dissect another week's headlines with guests Chris Addison, Ed Byrne, Micky Flanagan and Diane Morgan.
Sean Lock: Stand Up
Sean Lock, one of Britain's favourite comedians and star of 8 Out Of 10 Cats shares his live show, recorded at the Hammersmith Apollo in 2008.
Absolutely Fabulous
Series 2, Episode 6 - BirthWhen Patsy accidentally burns down the kitchen, the sitting room becomes temporary heart of the household. Finding themselves locked in the room all evening, Patsy, Eddy and Saffy are forced to confront their relationships with their mothers.
Not The Nine O'Clock News
A compilation of some of the best-loved moments from the popular satirical sketch comedy of the 80s.
Marshal's Law
Episode 6 - The Christmas MiracleLesland helps a disgruntled nun to find her faith and meets God outside an old peoples' home.
Bluestone 42
Series 1, Episode 2Nick has grown tired of eating the same food every day and is desperate to find something tastier. Mary encourages Nick to let Millsy run a re-training exercise. Millsy is ecstatic and ensures he does a very thorough job, much to the disdain of the team.
The Ricky Gervais Show
Series 2, Episode 7Karl says that sometimes he wishes he were smaller so that things like food portions and cities would be bigger in comparison.