Television
TV schedule Wednesday 23rd May 2012

Bread
Series 5, Episode 6Mongy, the family dog, has been accused of biting a little girl and the police are called in to investigate. Billy changes his image in order to make Julie jealous, Jack gets a bumper wage packet thanks to his eccentric boss and Oswald is being pressurised to have a fertility test.

Carry On Laughing
A series of half-hour stories, mostly historical romps, presented by the Carry On team. Starring Sid James, Barbara Windsor, Joan Sims and other regulars from the films.

The Liver Birds
Series 3, Episode 2 - Birds On The DoleFast approaching having to pay their next month's rent, the girls are struck by the realisation that they're out of work - and have only 50 pence to their collective name! A trip to sign on is called for, but the dole queue is not something they're used to and a ruckus ensues.

Sykes
Series 1, Episode 10 - MouseThe Sykes's living room is plagued by a mouse, whom Hattie has of course dubbed Jerry. Having spent the day alone, watching for him to appear from the hole in the skirting board, she finds she's grown attached - but Eric remains determined to get rid, with the help of his air rifle if necessary.

The Brittas Empire
Despite his ambition and good intentions, everything seems to go wrong at Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre when manager Gordon Brittas is around.

Bread
Series 5, Episode 7Aveline has good news about Oswald's sperm count, Adrian finally hears from Magdalena and Joey's loyalty to the family drives a bigger wedge between him and Roxy. Meanwhile, Shifty is in trouble with Yizzel and his mate over money, so he steals their car and heads for London - again!

Dani's House
A sitcom/sketch show for Children's BBC starring Dani Harmer. Dani is left at home to look after her annoying younger brother Max.

Terry & June
Series 6, Episode 1 - Strictly Off The RecordTerry decides to get with it, technologically speaking, and becomes the proud owner of a video recorder. But disaster strikes when he offers to record a programme for the company chairman.

The Liver Birds
Series 3, Episode 3 - Good Girls Should Be In BedBeryl's in quite the quandary: she really likes her latest boyfriend, but he's only in town for a short while and is due to return to London tomorrow morning. And then he asks her to have breakfast with him...!

Shaun The Sheep
Series 1, Episode 3 - Shape Up With ShaunShirley the Sheep is the biggest sheep on the farm, but Shaun hopes to change that, can you keep up with Shaun?

Sykes
Series 1, Episode 11 - DreamEric's been bitten by a dog in a rather unfortunate position upon his person. Visiting the doctor, he is seen by a female GP and quickly finds himself daydreaming over her.

As Time Goes By
Lionel and Jean were young lovers until accidentally losing touch. Years later they meet again by chance and unexpectedly rekindle their romance.

Keeping Up Appearances
Suburban snob Hyacinth Bucket devotes her time to monitoring standards and attempting to impress influential people.

Hounded
Episode 12 - Cash Or Kick YourselfRufus finds himself forced to take part in Dr Mu's malevolent gameshow, Cash Or Kick Yourself, in order to save the world and indeed the multiverse.

Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 14, Episode 8 - Camera ShyFoggy's new interest in camcorders causes problems for country ramblers.

Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 14, Episode 9 - WheeliesCompo, Clegg and Foggy prove that the invention of the wheel might not have been such a good idea after all.

Open All Hours
Series 1, Episode 3 - A Nice Cosy Little DiseasePerhaps a nice cosy little disease on Arkwright's part would be the thing to attract the ministrations of a certain district nurse?

Dani's House
A sitcom/sketch show for Children's BBC starring Dani Harmer. Dani is left at home to look after her annoying younger brother Max.

Steptoe And Son
Series 7, Episode 6 - Divided We StandAlbert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.

Going Straight
Episode 2 - Going To Be AlrightFletcher pays his first visit to his parole officer to break bad news about his domestic circumstances: when he gets home he's surprised to discover eldest daughter Ingrid has taken up with his old cellmate Godber and son Raymond barely speaks to him. But even these woes can't keep Fletcher's mind from getting to his buried nest egg.

Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 20, Episode 10 - Ironing DayAuntie lets Smiler try some home-made wine.

Only Fools And Horses
Series 3, Episode 4 - Yesterday Never ComesWhen Del acquires a piece of furniture he believes it to be valuable, and when upper-class Miranda answers his newspaper advert for it, he thinks he's gone 'up-market'. But can she really have been wooed by his charm, or is it something more commercial?

Shaun The Sheep
Series 1, Episode 3 - Shape Up With ShaunShirley the Sheep is the biggest sheep on the farm, but Shaun hopes to change that, can you keep up with Shaun?

Only Fools And Horses
Series 3, Episode 5 - May The Force Be With YouWhen Rodney meets an old friend of Del's in the pub, he is duped into taking him back to the Trotter's flat: as Del is showing Grandad a new 'hookie' microwave he has acquired, he is re-acquainted with Detective Slater. The family are arrested and a stand-off situation develops after they all give false statements - until Del surprises everyone...
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On The Buses
Series 7, Episode 11 - The AllowanceA new clippie arrives at the depot, but she is no ordinary woman! A committed feminist, it's not long before Jack's turned her to his advantage in the never-ending war against the Inspector, as all the clippies demand extra pay for public convenience visits on their routes.

As Time Goes By
Lionel and Jean were young lovers until accidentally losing touch. Years later they meet again by chance and unexpectedly rekindle their romance.

On The Buses
Series 7, Episode 12 - Friends In High PlacesThe canteen's cook, Mrs. Webb, is worse than awful and when confronted about her culinary skills promptly quits, leaving Blakey in the lurch. He recommends Mrs. Butler as her replacement to the area manager - and when she comes for an interview, it seems the two are old friends...

Keeping Up Appearances
Suburban snob Hyacinth Bucket devotes her time to monitoring standards and attempting to impress influential people.

Terry & June
Series 6, Episode 2 - Wine, Women And So LongTo June's despair, Terry has become a wine-making enthusiast. Several disasters later, she persuades him that a visit to Boulogne for some duty-free would be much more enjoyable. But knowing Terry, further disasters cannot be ruled out.

Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 14, Episode 8 - Camera ShyFoggy's new interest in camcorders causes problems for country ramblers.

Gavin & Stacey
Series 2, Episode 7Stacey returns to Essex to sort out the situation with Gavin, but things are not looking good. Meanwhile in Barry, an unexpected event throws everyone into a panic.

Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 14, Episode 9 - WheeliesCompo, Clegg and Foggy prove that the invention of the wheel might not have been such a good idea after all.

Me & My Monsters
Series 2, Episode 10 - Chain GangWhen the monsters are impressed by a few of Dad's old magic tricks, Fiend decides to become a master magician. Of course, he is useless, and manages to chain Angela and Norman together - just as Angela has a date coming over!

Red Dwarf
Series I, Episode 1 - The EndDimwitted third-class space ship technician Dave Lister is dumbstruck to find that, after what was supposed to be an 18-month punishment in stasis (suspended animation), he has woken up some 3 million years later, a radiation leak having long killed his Red Dwarf colleagues and left him as the last human being.

Shaun The Sheep
Stop-motion animated children's sitcom by Aardman Animations for CBBC. Wildly popular with not just kids, but adults too.

Open All Hours
Series 1, Episode 3 - A Nice Cosy Little DiseasePerhaps a nice cosy little disease on Arkwright's part would be the thing to attract the ministrations of a certain district nurse?

Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 20, Episode 10 - Ironing DayAuntie lets Smiler try some home-made wine.

Would I Lie To You?
Series 4, Episode 3David Mitchell is joined by Keeley Hawes and Stephen Mangan, while Lee Mack is joined by Kevin Bridges and Professor Brian Cox OBE.

The Unforgettable...
Series 5, Episode 7 - Dudley MooreA tribute to Dudley Moore, who is best known for being part of a double act with Peter Cook and as an unlikely Hollywood star.

Steptoe And Son
Series 7, Episode 6 - Divided We StandAlbert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.

Gavin & Stacey
Series 2, Episode 7Stacey returns to Essex to sort out the situation with Gavin, but things are not looking good. Meanwhile in Barry, an unexpected event throws everyone into a panic.

Only Fools And Horses
Series 3, Episode 6 - WantedRodney's kindly nature gets him into trouble when he tries to help a drunk lady on the way home from the pub. When she screams for help he legs it home. Del, knowing of the woman's reputation, plays on Rodney's fears, but his joke backfires when Rodney goes on the run!
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Michael McIntyre: Hello Wembley!
Stand-up Michael McIntyre performs to a sell-out crowd at the Wembley Arena. From October 2009.
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Mock The Week
Series 9, Episode 7After a break to accommodate the Edinburgh Festival, Mock The Week is back with more topical japery. Several of Pakistan's top bookmakers have ensured that this episode's guest line-up will be Andi Osho, Milton Jones and Chris Addison.
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The Story Of Variety With Michael Grade
Episode 1 - After The WarSixty years ago every UK town had a variety theatre. Michael Grade tells the story of this lost world.
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Only Fools And Horses
Series 3, Episode 7 - Who's A Pretty Boy?Denzil is nervous about letting the Trotters decorate his flat because, if they do it wrong, he has to face the wrath of his wife, Corinne. She still hasn't forgiven Del for messing up the catering at her wedding but, as long as they heed her warning to stay out of the kitchen, nothing can go wrong...
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Mock The Week
Series 9, Episode 8Dara, Hugh and Andy joined by guests Ed Byrne, Micky Flanagan, Stewart Francis and newcomer Miles Jupp.
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The Royle Family
Series 1, Episode 5Dave and Denise arrive home late, arguing loudly and threatening to call off the wedding - now just a week away. Soon the whole family are up and smoothing over the cracks of the evening.
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Dara O Briain: School Of Hard Sums
Series 1, Episode 6Dara O'Briain examines how maths saves lives. He has comedian Alex Horne on hand to help him.
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The Catherine Tate Show
Series 2, Episode 4Nan is introduced to Jamie's girlfriend who is a little sensitive about her nose, a drunk bride reveals too much truth, Lauren gets a tattoo of her boyfriend and Irene is excited about meeting Mikhail Gorbachov in her burger van.
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Gavin & Stacey
Series 3, Episode 1Gavin starts his new job in Cardiff, Stacey is thrilled to be back in Barry, Smithy is still in Essex, and Nessa is adjusting to life in Dave's caravan in Sully. The weekend brings with it a big reunion, as everyone meets up for the christening of baby Neil.
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Red Dwarf
Series I, Episode 1 - The EndDimwitted third-class space ship technician Dave Lister is dumbstruck to find that, after what was supposed to be an 18-month punishment in stasis (suspended animation), he has woken up some 3 million years later, a radiation leak having long killed his Red Dwarf colleagues and left him as the last human being.
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The Unforgettable...
Series 1, Episode 1 - Hattie JacquesDocumentary charting the private life and career of actress Hattie Jacques, who was famous for her roles in the Carry On films and the long-running sitcom Sykes. Features home-movie footage and interviews.
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Yes, Prime Minister
Series 1, Episode 2 - The Ministerial BroadcastJim's still insisting on carrying out his 'grand design' for Britain's security - or at least as much of it as possible, and intends to use a television address to the nation to introduce it. There are a few hurdles to overcome first, however; not least the content of the script, and his appearance!
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Mock The Week
Series 9, Episode 7After a break to accommodate the Edinburgh Festival, Mock The Week is back with more topical japery. Several of Pakistan's top bookmakers have ensured that this episode's guest line-up will be Andi Osho, Milton Jones and Chris Addison.
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Going Straight
Episode 2 - Going To Be AlrightFletcher pays his first visit to his parole officer to break bad news about his domestic circumstances: when he gets home he's surprised to discover eldest daughter Ingrid has taken up with his old cellmate Godber and son Raymond barely speaks to him. But even these woes can't keep Fletcher's mind from getting to his buried nest egg.
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Mock The Week
Series 9, Episode 8Dara, Hugh and Andy joined by guests Ed Byrne, Micky Flanagan, Stewart Francis and newcomer Miles Jupp.
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The Royle Family
Series 1, Episode 5Dave and Denise arrive home late, arguing loudly and threatening to call off the wedding - now just a week away. Soon the whole family are up and smoothing over the cracks of the evening.
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Gavin & Stacey
Series 2, Episode 7Stacey returns to Essex to sort out the situation with Gavin, but things are not looking good. Meanwhile in Barry, an unexpected event throws everyone into a panic.
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Ed Byrne: Different Class
Stand-up comedy from Irish funnyman Ed Byrne.
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Yes, Prime Minister
Series 1, Episode 2 - The Ministerial BroadcastJim's still insisting on carrying out his 'grand design' for Britain's security - or at least as much of it as possible, and intends to use a television address to the nation to introduce it. There are a few hurdles to overcome first, however; not least the content of the script, and his appearance!
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The Story Of Variety With Michael Grade
Episode 1 - After The WarSixty years ago every UK town had a variety theatre. Michael Grade tells the story of this lost world.
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Ripping Yarns
Episode 2.2, Golden Gordon: Gordon Ottershaw, Barnstoneworth United's biggest fan, is shocked to learn the his beloved yet rubbish team is being sold off.
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Unzipped
Series 1, Episode 2Greg James and Russell Kane, along with special guest Christine Bleakley, take a look at British behaviour and reveal what really goes on behind closed doors and inside our heads.
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The Brittas Empire
Despite his ambition and good intentions, everything seems to go wrong at Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre when manager Gordon Brittas is around.
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The Detectives
Episode 4.1, The Great Esacper: Louis and Briggs are cuffed to a notoriously slippery customer as they escort him to his latest prison by train. So how do they end up crossing the Yorkshire moors carrying a toilet door?