Television
TV schedule Wednesday 16th May 2012
6am
(repeat)
Bread
Series 4, Episode 13The preparations for Aveline's wedding are chaotic with arguments aplenty, but these things never run smoothly - especially when Yizzel and his mate are in charge of the wedding cars.
6am
(repeat)
Carry On Laughing
A series of half-hour stories, mostly historical romps, presented by the Carry On team. Starring Sid James, Barbara Windsor, Joan Sims and other regulars from the films.
6:30am
(repeat)
The Liver Birds
Series 2, Episode 8 - The FlatFacing another major row, the girls realise they need their own private spaces and stumble across a far nicer flat advertised in the paper. Can they really afford it?
7am
(repeat)
Sykes
Series 1, Episode 4 - MenaceThe Sykes twins are playing host to the 10-year-old daughter of Eric's old army friend for the weekend. As sweet and innocent as she appears, Eric can't help but be suspicious after her elder sister's rain of practical jokes some years previously.
7:40am
(repeat)
The Brittas Empire
Series 1, Episode 6Brittas is more concerned about falling attendance at Whitbury Leisure Centre than any attempt to murder him.
8:20am
(repeat)
Bread
Series 5, Episode 1Adrian becomes a hero by accident and, despite warnings, starts to embellish his role in the proceedings. Billy is troubled by his forthcoming divorce, Joey gets a worrying letter from the Inland Revenue and Aveline has a check up after failing to become pregnant...
8:20am
(repeat)
Dani's House
A sitcom/sketch show for Children's BBC starring Dani Harmer. Dani is left at home to look after her annoying younger brother Max.
8:30am
(repeat)
Terry & June
Series 5, Episode 3 - Noise AbatementA neighbourly conflict of interests arises when Terry, whose new hobby involves the use of a circular saw, discovers Tarquin is the chairman of the local noise abatement society.
9am
(repeat)
The Liver Birds
Series 2, Episode 10 - GrandadThe girls are called in to look after Sandra's grandfather for the day. As they struggle to keep him occupied, their Saturday turns into far more hassle than they'd imagined - and Beryl soon scarpers for the quiet of home.
9:25am
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Stop-motion animated children's sitcom by Aardman Animations for CBBC. Wildly popular with not just kids, but adults too.
9:40am
(repeat)
Sykes
Series 1, Episode 5 - BoatMr. Brown's purchased a brand new boat and Eric talks his way aboard. It immediately turns out to be quite the aged wreck.
10:20am
(repeat)
To The Manor Born
Series 3, Episode 7Hartley's death re-opens the chasm in Richard's finances, and the manor is once again under the hammer. A saviour could still be at hand, but what does the future hold for Grantleigh - not to mention Audrey, Richard and Mrs Poo?
11am
(repeat)
11am
(repeat)
Keeping Up Appearances
Episode 1, Daddy's Accident: Hyacinth coming to terms with the fact that Daddy is in hospital, having chased the milk lady on his bicycle - naked.
11:05am
(repeat)
Hounded
Episode 7 - TerrorbyteDr Mu is stealing the internet! With IT systems going into meltdown all over the world, Rufus is transported in the icy wilderness of a social networking site called Puffin Portal.
11:40am
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 31, Episode 4 - Howard And The Great OutdoorsHobbo and his 'team' turn Howard into a tramp to show Pearl how rough he's been living and convince her to take him back.
12:20pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 31, Episode 5 - Look Whose Wheel's Come OffGlenda sends a reluctant Barry off to paint a nice view, to take his mind off wanting to eat.
1pm
(repeat)
One Foot In The Grave
Series 6, Episode 3 - The Futility Of The FlyVictor has hired a cleaner to help around the house, and unwittingly comes to the rescue of a local chip shop proprietor with a rather complicated love life.
1:20pm
(repeat)
Dani's House
A sitcom/sketch show for Children's BBC starring Dani Harmer. Dani is left at home to look after her annoying younger brother Max.
1:40pm
(repeat)
Steptoe And Son
Series 7, Episode 1 - Men Of LettersAlbert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.
2:20pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 3, Episode 5 - A Test Of CharacterGodber's History O Level exams are a few days away. Fletcher enlists the help of Warren and McLaren to steal the exam paper - if Godber is so determined to pass, Fletch's going to make sure he's well prepared before he enters the exam room.
2:30pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 20, Episode 5 - Optimism In The Housing MarketSmiler's first day as a door-to-door salesman is a painful one.
3pm
(repeat)
Ripping Yarns
Episode 5, Across the Andes by Frog: The epic story of one man and six frogs who tried to defy the world!
3:15pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Stop-motion animated children's sitcom by Aardman Animations for CBBC. Wildly popular with not just kids, but adults too.
3:40pm
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
Series 2, Episode 7 - A Touch Of GlassA chance meeting with a member of the aristocracy enables Del to impress with his, previously unknown, knowledge of chandelier repairing. He enlists the help of Rodney and Grandad to get them down...
4pm
(repeat)
On The Buses
Series 7, Episode 1 - Olive's DivorceOlive is in trouble - Arthur has left her for good and she has to face the divorce court. Afterwards she's almost inconsolable and doesn't feel like being alone, but Mum's off to Aunt Maud's and Stan has a date.
4:20pm
(repeat)
To The Manor Born
Series 3, Episode 7Hartley's death re-opens the chasm in Richard's finances, and the manor is once again under the hammer. A saviour could still be at hand, but what does the future hold for Grantleigh - not to mention Audrey, Richard and Mrs Poo?
4:35pm
(repeat)
On The Buses
Series 7, Episode 2 - The Perfect ClippieWithout Arthur's share of the housekeeping, Mum just can't afford three good meals on Stan's income alone so he insists Olive get a job. After some grovelling Blakey agrees to trial her as a clippie again - and she soon turns out to be the best in the depot!
5pm
(repeat)
Keeping Up Appearances
Episode 1, Daddy's Accident: Hyacinth coming to terms with the fact that Daddy is in hospital, having chased the milk lady on his bicycle - naked.
5:10pm
(repeat)
Terry & June
Series 5, Episode 4 - Eyeball, EyeballTerry throws himself enthusiastically into using Citizen Band radio, but June is far from thrilled.
5:40pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 31, Episode 4 - Howard And The Great OutdoorsHobbo and his 'team' turn Howard into a tramp to show Pearl how rough he's been living and convince her to take him back.
6pm
(repeat)
Gavin & Stacey
Series 2, Episode 5It's Gwen's birthday and Bryn has arranged a special surprise treat.
6:10pm
(repeat)
Me & My Monsters
Series 2, Episode 9 - The Fall OutIt's Eddie's birthday and he can't wait for a party with his three best friends in the all the world - Haggis, Fiend and Norman. But when the monsters argue over what present to give Eddie, it turns into a full scale row that threatens all the party plans, and even their friendship with Eddie.
6:20pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 31, Episode 5 - Look Whose Wheel's Come OffGlenda sends a reluctant Barry off to paint a nice view, to take his mind off wanting to eat.
6:40pm
(repeat)
Gavin & Stacey
Series 2, Episode 6Gavin is in Essex without his wife. Stacey is in Barry without her husband. So while Smithy plans a boys' night out, Stacey goes to the bingo. But has living separate lives finally taken its toll on love's young dream?
7pm
(repeat)
One Foot In The Grave
Series 6, Episode 3 - The Futility Of The FlyVictor has hired a cleaner to help around the house, and unwittingly comes to the rescue of a local chip shop proprietor with a rather complicated love life.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 20, Episode 5 - Optimism In The Housing MarketSmiler's first day as a door-to-door salesman is a painful one.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Would I Lie To You?
Series 4, Episode 1With guests Fern Britton, Richard E Grant, Martin Clunes and Sanjeev Bhaskar.
7:30pm30 min
The Unforgettable...
Series 5, Episode 6 - Noele GordonA tribute to Noele Gordon - best known for her role as Meg Mortimer in the series Crossroads.
7:40pm
(repeat)
Steptoe And Son
Series 7, Episode 1 - Men Of LettersAlbert Steptoe and his son Harold run a rag and bone business. Harold wants to move on in the world and leave home but his plans are always thwarted.
8:20pm
(repeat)
Gavin & Stacey
Series 2, Episode 3Stacey's getting used to being an 'Essex wife' but it's not as exciting as she'd hoped.
9pm
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
Series 3, Episode 1 - HomesickGrandad's not well, his legs are playing him up and the lifts are broken. When Rodney finds himself unwittingly elected to Chairman of the local Residents' Association, Del spies the perfect opportunity to improve their lot.
9pm
(repeat)
Alan Carr: Tooth Fairy Live
Alan Carr recorded this live perfomance at the Hammersmith Apollo in May 2007 to a sell-out audience. Alan talks about childhood and adolescence.
9pm
(repeat)
Gregory's Girl
Love is a game of two halves in this endearing eighties tale of an adolescent crush.
9pm
(repeat)
9:40pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 3, Episode 6 - Final StretchGodber's case is coming up before the parole board, and with his clean record and his O Levels, he's sure to sail through it. Unless his feud with Jarvis - all brawn but little brain - escalates. Can he turn the other cheek, or has a man got to do what a man's got to do?
9:40pm
(repeat)
Mock The Week
Series 7, Highlights SpecialAt the halfway point in the series, Dara O'Briain presents a special show featuring unseen material and favourite bits from the series so far.
10:20pm
(repeat)
Blackadder
Blackadder Goes Forth, Episode 6 - GoodbyeeeThe time has finally come to go "over the top" and face the dreaded Hun on the battlefield. George is thrilled by the prospect, but Blackadder is still less than enthusiastic and resolves to call in an old trick and a long-standing favour owed to him by Field Marshal Haig...
10:20pm
(repeat)
Dara O Briain: School Of Hard Sums
Series 1, Episode 5Dara's back, proving again that mathematics can save the day in almost any circumstance. This week he tackles problems that you might come across in an Italian restaurant.
11pm
(repeat)
The Catherine Tate Show
Series 2, Episode 3Ivan & Trudy present their 'wig emporium', Derek Faye purchases a David Beckham calendar and are hospital nurses stealing Nan's personal belongings?
11pm
(repeat)
Yes Minister
Series 3, Episode 5 - The Bed Of NailsHacker is flattered when the PM appoints him as the Government's new 'transport supremo', tasked with forging a grand, unified national transport policy. Sir Humphrey, however, is less than keen, and has a revelation to bring Jim back down to Earth with a bump.
11pm
(repeat)
Gavin & Stacey
Series 2, Episode 5It's Gwen's birthday and Bryn has arranged a special surprise treat.
11:40pm
(repeat)
Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps
Series 1, Episode 5 - LardJanet is on a mission to be funny while her boyfriend Jonny is trying to control his lust for Louise.
11:40pm
(repeat)
Yes Minister
Series 3, Episode 6 - The Whisky PriestAfter being told of Italian terrorists being found with British government-produced arms, Jim feels compelled to inform the PM and demand an inquiry. This is just the kind of matter, however, that the PM is particularly keen to stay ignorant of.
11:40pm
(repeat)
Gavin & Stacey
Series 2, Episode 6Gavin is in Essex without his wife. Stacey is in Barry without her husband. So while Smithy plans a boys' night out, Stacey goes to the bingo. But has living separate lives finally taken its toll on love's young dream?
12:20am
(repeat)
Victoria Wood With All The Trimmings
Victoria Wood serves up a large helping of Christmas comedy, with an impressive list of celebrities appearing in a series of pastiches. From Dec 2000.
12:20am
(repeat)
1am
(repeat)
Mock The Week
Series 7, Highlights SpecialAt the halfway point in the series, Dara O'Briain presents a special show featuring unseen material and favourite bits from the series so far.
1:10am
(repeat)
Jo Brand: Barely Live
Live stand-up from Jo Brand, performed at the Adelphi Theatre, London in 2003.
1:30am
(repeat)
Blackadder
Blackadder Goes Forth, Episode 6 - GoodbyeeeThe time has finally come to go "over the top" and face the dreaded Hun on the battlefield. George is thrilled by the prospect, but Blackadder is still less than enthusiastic and resolves to call in an old trick and a long-standing favour owed to him by Field Marshal Haig...
1:35am
(repeat)
Never Mind The Buzzcocks
Series 23, Special - The Doctor Who SpecialDavid Tennant hosts a special Dr Who-themed show with team captains Phill Jupitus and Noel Fielding. Guests include Dr Who stars Bernard Cribbins and Catherine Tate, plus platinum-selling jazz artist Jamie Cullum and Radio 1's Jo Whiley.
2am
(repeat)
Yes Minister
Series 3, Episode 5 - The Bed Of NailsHacker is flattered when the PM appoints him as the Government's new 'transport supremo', tasked with forging a grand, unified national transport policy. Sir Humphrey, however, is less than keen, and has a revelation to bring Jim back down to Earth with a bump.
2:15am
(repeat)
Sports Mash - Taking The Mic
ITV4 show in which archive sport footage is given a comic twist with new commentary supplied by comedians.
2:30am
(repeat)
The Brittas Empire
Series 1, Episode 6Brittas is more concerned about falling attendance at Whitbury Leisure Centre than any attempt to murder him.
2:40am
(repeat)
The Detectives
Episode 3.2, Flash: After mixing their drinks at the policemen's ball, Louis and Briggs confront a new horror involving a flasher, a marquess and the commissioner's wife.
4:10am
(repeat)
Unzipped
Series 1, Episode 4Special guest Kimberly Wyatt joins Greg James and Russell Kane to take a look at British behaviour and reveal what really goes on behind closed doors and inside our heads.