Television
TV schedule Wednesday 9th May 2012
6am
(repeat)
Bread
Series 4, Episode 7Joey gives Freddie an ultimatum - Lilo Lill or his mum, but not both! Linda McCartney opens an Animal Rescue Centre and, while getting her autograph, Billy invites her round for tea if she's ever passing - she is, and an unwitting Nellie tells her all her troubles.
6:10am
(repeat)
Carry On Laughing
A series of half-hour stories, mostly historical romps, presented by the Carry On team. Starring Sid James, Barbara Windsor, Joan Sims and other regulars from the films.
6:30am
(repeat)
The Liver Birds
Series 2, Episode 5 - The Good SamaritansSandra is inspired by the works of Bertrand Russell to help her fellow man. Beryl is a reluctant follower, but the pair step up to the plate when colleague Irene runs into some marital stress.
7am
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 2, Episode 5 - A Quiet DrinkHarry, the fierce landlord, runs a tight pub. And Mouse is tighter still and it's Tina's 'boom' night, so farewell restful ease.
7:40am
(repeat)
Just Good Friends
Series 3, Christmas Special - 1986Gina, now owner of her ex-husband's wine importing company, is withholding agreement to sign a contract with the Pinners unless Vince and Penny cancel their plans to marry. She also withdraws the offer of a job to Norman but enlists Daphne's help in her sabotage. Penny and Vince make a final effort to resolve their problems before they are destined to live apart forever. They have a surprise in store for everybody!
8:20am
(repeat)
Bread
Series 4, Episode 8Adrian buys gifts for the family when his poems are published but, when he purchases some dodgy video machines, he gets both himself and Billy in trouble with the police. As if her two sons being in trouble is not enough, Nellie is furious when Shifty is also arrested for driving a stolen vehicle into somebody's living room!
8:20am
(repeat)
Dani's House
Series 1, Episode 12 - Snowed InIt gradually dawns on Dani and Max that they will be forced to spend time in each other's company when they are trapped in the house by a snow storm.
8:40am
(repeat)
Terry & June
Series 4, Episode 4 - The Cowering InfernoAt a hotel for the firm's annual national sales conference, Sir Dennis lands Terry with an important speech. Unfortunately he's having trouble sleeping, and learns the hard way that mod cons do not always improve one's life.
9am
(repeat)
The Liver Birds
Series 2, Episode 7 - The Man DownstairsBeryl and Sandra are equally captivated when a tall, dark gentleman moves into the flat below. He is slightly less impressed by their overly-keen advances, however!
9:25am
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 2, Episode 20 - In The DoghouseBitzer's kennel is accidentally destroyed and the canny canine hopes the farmer will replace it with a new deluxe model. But when he sees his master's clumsy attempt to build a new kennel, Bitzer is so horrified that he packs his bags and leaves home. Shaun, however, hopes to tempt Bitzer to return with the kennel of his dreams.
9:40am
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 2, Episode 6 - Ballad For Wind Instruments And CanoeA transaction with the fabulous Arnpepper; the Great Gob Contest; and a runaway canoe.
10:20am
(repeat)
To The Manor Born
Series 3, Episode 2The local railway station, Marlbury, is faced with closure, and Audrey's damned if she'll let that happen without a fight. Unfortunately, Richard's got his eye on the site for his new cash-and-carry.
11am
(repeat)
11am
(repeat)
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 7, Episode 6 - The Spirit Of NouvionWith the resistance running low on funds, Michelle orders René to tunnel into Herr Flick's headquarters and steal the Fallen Madonna from his safe. Meanwhile, the newspaper is looking to crown a local woman the 'Spirit of Nouvion'.
11:05am
(repeat)
Hounded
Episode 2 - Rufus Versus RufusRufus finds himself face to face with a very familiar looking new enemy this week: Kung Fu Ninja Teddy Bears.
11:30am
(repeat)
Doctor In The House
Along with three high-spirited companions, Simon Sparrow faces five hectic years at medical school.
11:40am
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 30, Episode 4 - Who's That Looking Sideways At Nelly?Hobbo, former milkman and undercover agent at Primrose Dairies, is ready for any dangerous situation - and going round telling everyone that Nelly is his mother is one.
12:20pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 30, Episode 5 - Nobody Messes With Tony The ThroatHoward is deeply concerned when Pearl starts going out every day with Nelly, and she will not say where.
1pm
(repeat)
One Foot In The Grave
Series 5, Episode 3 - Rearranging The DustVictor and Margaret visit a solicitor to sort out some legal matters. But a long, non-eventful wait then brings more misery.
1:20pm
(repeat)
Dani's House
Series 1, Episode 12 - Snowed InIt gradually dawns on Dani and Max that they will be forced to spend time in each other's company when they are trapped in the house by a snow storm.
1:40pm
(repeat)
dinnerladies
Series 2, Episode 8 - ChristineAfter the events of New Year's Eve, Anita's left the canteen. Her replacement, Christine, has chronic flatulence and manages to upset, annoy, and/or anger everyone within a couple of hours. On top of that, the social services want Petula to live with Bren!
2:20pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 3, Episode 1 - A Storm In A TeacupHarris steals some pills from the Medical Officer, but manages to dispose of them when stopped by Mackay. Grouty is concerned the theft may lift the lid on his own thefts so ropes in Fletcher to replace the pills. Where will Fletcher find new medication before the end of the lunch hour?
2:30pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 19, Episode 10 - Support Your Local SkydiverCompo sports a more daring image.
3pm
(repeat)
The Vicar Of Dibley
Series 1, Episode 4 - The Window & The WeatherIn the fiercest storm to hit Dibley since... well, let's not go there; a tree falls through the church's great stained-glass window. After struggling to even recall what the original image depicted, the vicar's shocked by the costs of stained glass and begins a fund-raising exercise.
3:15pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Series 2, Episode 20 - In The DoghouseBitzer's kennel is accidentally destroyed and the canny canine hopes the farmer will replace it with a new deluxe model. But when he sees his master's clumsy attempt to build a new kennel, Bitzer is so horrified that he packs his bags and leaves home. Shaun, however, hopes to tempt Bitzer to return with the kennel of his dreams.
3:40pm
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
Series 2, Episode 4 - No Greater LoveRodney has fallen for an older woman whose husband is locked up in prison. With her old man's release imminent, Del fears for Rodney's safety, but he can see that the lad is smitten.
4:10pm
(repeat)
On The Buses
Series 5, Episode 11 - The StrainStan tries to prove his strength by picking up his girlfriend to guess her weight. In doing so, he strains his back and is instructed to wear a supportive, surgical corset if he wants to get back to work quickly.
4:20pm
(repeat)
To The Manor Born
Series 3, Episode 2The local railway station, Marlbury, is faced with closure, and Audrey's damned if she'll let that happen without a fight. Unfortunately, Richard's got his eye on the site for his new cash-and-carry.
4:40pm
(repeat)
On The Buses
Series 5, Episode 13 - Vacancy For InspectorInspector Blake decides to divide and rule by promoting Jack, to the rank of Inspector. He quickly spills all of his pal's secrets...
5pm
(repeat)
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 7, Episode 6 - The Spirit Of NouvionWith the resistance running low on funds, Michelle orders René to tunnel into Herr Flick's headquarters and steal the Fallen Madonna from his safe. Meanwhile, the newspaper is looking to crown a local woman the 'Spirit of Nouvion'.
5:15pm
(repeat)
Terry & June
Series 4, Episode 5 - The AuctionTerry persuades the vicar to let him run the local charity fundraising auction; neighbour Tarquin - a trained auctioneer - had been hoping for the honour, and is not best pleased.
5:40pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 30, Episode 4 - Who's That Looking Sideways At Nelly?Hobbo, former milkman and undercover agent at Primrose Dairies, is ready for any dangerous situation - and going round telling everyone that Nelly is his mother is one.
6pm
(repeat)
Gavin & Stacey
Series 2, Episode 3Stacey's getting used to being an 'Essex wife' but it's not as exciting as she'd hoped.
6:20pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 30, Episode 5 - Nobody Messes With Tony The ThroatHoward is deeply concerned when Pearl starts going out every day with Nelly, and she will not say where.
6:20pm
(repeat)
Me & My Monsters
Series 2, Episode 8 - Next Big ThingChildren's series combining live action and puppetry about a family who discover a group of monsters living under their house.
6:40pm
(repeat)
Gavin & Stacey
Series 2, Episode 4Mick becomes a minor celebrity for the night after appearing on the news.
6:45pm
(repeat)
Shaun The Sheep
Stop-motion animated children's sitcom by Aardman Animations for CBBC. Wildly popular with not just kids, but adults too.
7pm
(repeat)
One Foot In The Grave
Series 5, Episode 3 - Rearranging The DustVictor and Margaret visit a solicitor to sort out some legal matters. But a long, non-eventful wait then brings more misery.
7:20pm
(repeat)
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 19, Episode 10 - Support Your Local SkydiverCompo sports a more daring image.
7:20pm
(repeat)
7:40pm
(repeat)
dinnerladies
Series 2, Episode 8 - ChristineAfter the events of New Year's Eve, Anita's left the canteen. Her replacement, Christine, has chronic flatulence and manages to upset, annoy, and/or anger everyone within a couple of hours. On top of that, the social services want Petula to live with Bren!
8:20pm
(repeat)
Gavin & Stacey
Series 1, Episode 5The bride-to-be has her hen party, while Gavin embarks on two stag nights.
9pm
(repeat)
Only Fools And Horses
Series 2, Episode 5 - The Yellow PerilAfter a mysterious call from the health inspector, the local Chinese restaurant employ the Trotters to renovate their kitchens. Trigger supplies the paint but neglects to tell them exactly where he got it from.
9pm
(repeat)
Rich Hall: Hell No I Ain't Happy
Stand-up and music from American comedian Rich Hall, including songs from his country and western singer alter-ego Otis Lee Crenshaw.
9pm
(repeat)
Not Going Out
Series 4, Episode 5 - FireworksAn old lady wanders into Lucy's flat and joins Lee on the sofa. When it becomes clear that she doesn't know who she is, Lee throws her out only to discover that she has a rich son who always pays a handsome reward to the person who brings her home.
9:40pm
(repeat)
Porridge
Series 3, Episode 2 - Poetic JusticeAn old acquaintance of Fletcher's becomes the third occupant of the cell: the judge who sentenced him to five years! Initial resentment fades, and Fletcher decides that an old school friend of the Governor's could prove very useful. However, not all his fellow prisoners are as enlightened.
9:40pm
(repeat)
Not Going Out
Series 4, Episode 6 - Life On Mars BarsStuck in a coma, with friends and family gathered round his hospital bed, Lee dreams of a perfect life with Lucy. But is it really so perfect and will the reality match up?
10pm
(repeat)
Parkinson: Peter Cook
An affectionate tribute to Peter Cook, featuring the highlights of Michael Parkinson's many interviews with the comic.
10:20pm
(repeat)
Blackadder
Blackadder Goes Forth, Episode 2 - Corporal PunishmentAfter having trouble with the trenches' telephone system, Blackadder is facing a court-martial for disobeying orders; and far more seriously, shooting and eating Melchett's prized pet pigeon, Speckled Jim. Is there any hope for the Captain, or does a firing squad and certain death await?
10:20pm
(repeat)
Dara O Briain: School Of Hard Sums
Series 1, Episode 4Brains and brawn go head to head once again as Dara O'Briain presents the light-hearted science show. Taking up Dara's problem-solving challenge here is Andi Osho.
10:45pm
(repeat)
The Catherine Tate Show
Series 2, Episode 2The Aga Saga Woman is terrified by a Geordie babysitter, Irene & Vern describe their encounter with Desmond Tutu and Nan's visit at the doctor soon turns unpleasant.
11pm
(repeat)
Yes Minister
Series 2, Episode 7 - A Question Of LoyaltySir Humphrey and Jim are to be interviewed by a Select Committee who are scrutinising their department. A book's about to be published with some rather damning revelations - but who can rely on Jim to give the correct response, Number 10 or Sir Humphrey...?
11pm
(repeat)
Gavin & Stacey
Series 2, Episode 3Stacey's getting used to being an 'Essex wife' but it's not as exciting as she'd hoped.
11pm
(repeat)
Celebrity Juice
Series 7, Episode 2Regulars Holly Willoughby, Fearne Cotton and Rufus Hound are joined by guests Matt Cardle, Charlie Brooks and Adam Deacon as they try to prove who knows the most about the latest celebrity gossip. Plus Jedward appear in a special round.
11:25pm
(repeat)
Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps
Series 1, Episode 3 - Bone With The WindFlo wants Donna to move out but she's staying put. Gaz becomes worried when he thinks Donna's moving into his flat.
11:40pm
(repeat)
Yes Minister
Series 3, Episode 1 - Equal OpportunitiesPrompted by a schoolgirl's question as to what he has actually achieved in cabinet, Jim searches for a raison d'être. Talking to a particularly intelligent female undersecretary, he's suddenly struck by how few women there are in the Civil Service.
11:40pm
(repeat)
Gavin & Stacey
Series 2, Episode 4Mick becomes a minor celebrity for the night after appearing on the news.
12:05am
(repeat)
Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps
Series 1, Episode 4 - Angry WangryJanet decides to become a student so Louise arranges for Janet to meet some of her uni friends.
12:20am
(repeat)
The Comic Strip Presents...
Series 3, Episode 2 - More Bad NewsA rock journalist reunites the Bad News band, who parted company after a disastrous maiden tour, for a one-off gig. But all does not go according to plan...
12:20am
(repeat)
Not Going Out
Series 4, Episode 5 - FireworksAn old lady wanders into Lucy's flat and joins Lee on the sofa. When it becomes clear that she doesn't know who she is, Lee throws her out only to discover that she has a rich son who always pays a handsome reward to the person who brings her home.
1am
(repeat)
Not Going Out
Series 4, Episode 6 - Life On Mars BarsStuck in a coma, with friends and family gathered round his hospital bed, Lee dreams of a perfect life with Lucy. But is it really so perfect and will the reality match up?
1:25am
(repeat)
Blackadder
Blackadder Goes Forth, Episode 2 - Corporal PunishmentAfter having trouble with the trenches' telephone system, Blackadder is facing a court-martial for disobeying orders; and far more seriously, shooting and eating Melchett's prized pet pigeon, Speckled Jim. Is there any hope for the Captain, or does a firing squad and certain death await?
1:55am
(repeat)
Yes Minister
Series 2, Episode 7 - A Question Of LoyaltySir Humphrey and Jim are to be interviewed by a Select Committee who are scrutinising their department. A book's about to be published with some rather damning revelations - but who can rely on Jim to give the correct response, Number 10 or Sir Humphrey...?
2:15am
(repeat)
Sports Mash - Taking The Mic
ITV4 show in which archive sport footage is given a comic twist with new commentary supplied by comedians.
2:25am
(repeat)
Just Good Friends
Series 3, Christmas Special - 1986Gina, now owner of her ex-husband's wine importing company, is withholding agreement to sign a contract with the Pinners unless Vince and Penny cancel their plans to marry. She also withdraws the offer of a job to Norman but enlists Daphne's help in her sabotage. Penny and Vince make a final effort to resolve their problems before they are destined to live apart forever. They have a surprise in store for everybody!
3:10am
(repeat)
The Detectives
Episode 2.3, Never Without Protection: A Duchess keeps appearing in the tabloids canoodling with her police bodyguards. What the Super needs are two completely unappealing detectives...
4:20am
(repeat)
Unzipped
Series 1, Episode 3Armed with the results of an exhaustive report covering every aspect of modern life, Greg James and Russell Kane, along with special guests Emily Atack and Adam Deacon, take a look at British behaviour and reveal what really goes on behind closed doors and inside our heads.