Television
TV schedule Saturday 13th March 2010
4:50pm
Mr Bean's Holiday
The disaster-prone Englishman wins a holiday to Cannes, but on his travels he unwittingly separates a young boy from his film director father.
7pm
Let's Dance For Sport Relief - The Final
Steve Jones and Claudia Winkleman introduce the grand final of the celebrity charity dance competition. A viewers' vote has narrowed the 18 celebrity acts down to six finalists: EastEnders' Cheryl Fergison, the Grumpy Old Women, impressionist Debra Stephenson, stand-up Rufus Hound, comedy actor Katy Brand and duo Kate Garraway & Richard Arnold.
The judges are Jon Culshaw, Jack Dee and 2009 champion Robert Webb (pictured).
7:30pm
(repeat)
Dad's Army
Series 9, Episode 3 - Knights Of MadnessIt is "Wings for Victory" week in Walmington and the final event is to be shared by the Home Guard and the ARP. Mainwaring has decided to act out the fight between St. George and the Dragon - with him as St. George, of course.
7:30pm30 min
Harry Hill's TV Burp
Series 9, Episode 15Quick fire comic Harry Hill skewers more of the funniest, quirkiest and silliest clips from the week's TV output, including the usual mix of top reality shows, soaps and dramas, along with some genuine oddities. Includes a build-up to the much-anticipated K Factor Not-Live Final.
9pm
(repeat)
Live At The Apollo
Series 4, Episode 3 - Sean Lock and Jason ManfordStand-up comedy from the 8 Out Of 10 Cats team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford.
10pm
(repeat)
Red Dwarf
Series III, Episode 4 - BodyswapA bodyswap deal between Lister and Rimmer doesn't quite go to plan when Rimmer gets a bit carried away with himself.
10:35pm
(repeat)
The Armstrong & Miller Show
Series 2, Episode 3The Second World War pilots are vexed that people have been talking about them behind their backs; Dennis Lincoln-Park examines the only surviving panel of a rare tapestry; and the divorced dad offers his teenage son tips on avoiding STDs.
10:40pm
(repeat)
Red Dwarf
Series III, Episode 5 - TimeslidesAfter discovering that they're able to literally step into the past through photographs, Lister resolves to change his past, become a multi-millionaire and never board Red Dwarf. Rimmer however, is less satisfied with this new reality.
11:05pm
(repeat)
The Armstrong & Miller Show
Series 2, Episode 4Divorced Dad tells his son the reason Tilly Green hasn't replied to his text is because she's out of his league. Meanwhile, a boxer's coach fills the one-minute silence by telling him that, sometimes, he sees fairies at the end of his bed.
11:20pm
(repeat)
Red Dwarf
Series V, Episode 4 - QuarantineOn encountering another ship, the crew go into rescue the female hologram on board. Much to their horror, they discover that she has contracted a holo virus, and has gone completely insane.
11:35pm
(repeat)
Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe
Series 2, Episode 3Charlie Brooker squeezes more fun out of the news with the usual mix of comedians, reports and gags, this time looking at celebrities in the news. Will simply mentioning the likes of Russell Brand, Jedward and Megan Fox in this billing make people more likely to tune in?
11:55pm
(repeat)
Alan Carr: Chatty Man
Series 3, Episode 6 - Frankie Boyle, Torvill & Dean, Lindsay Lohan, Mary J. BligeAlan is joined on the sofa by comedian Frankie Boyle who talks about his latest UK tour. Torvill and Dean chat about the Dancing on Ice tour. Lindsay Lohan drops in for a chat too. Plus Mary J. Blige performs her new single: I Am.
Midnight
(repeat)
Red Dwarf
The Smeg Ups. Patrick Stewart introduces a laugh-out-loud Red Dwarf special featuring the funniest outtakes from seven series of the spaceship comedy.