Russell Brand: Doing Life

Still on the love-hate theme, here's Russell Brand Doing Life (Channel 4[/z, Saturday). Obviously again it's mainly hate, since that's the correct thing to think about the dirty snake after what he did to poor Manuel from Barcelona. And actually I think all men hate Russell Brand because they think he might sleep with their womenfolk. He's probably doing so already - with yours, yours, yours, mine ... Hmm, I wondered why she was looking so bloody excited and ever-so-slightly guilty when she went off to "work" this morning.

The man is a ridiculous peacock, of course, with less emphasis on the pea part of the word. He's obsessed with it, constantly putting his hand down there, to draw attention. And the way he stands with his hips pushed forward, at the business end of a thrust, that's his default position. He's like a longbow, primed for action, and we all know what his arrow is, and where he wants to fire it. Eurghh.

Of course he talks a lot of gibberish, a big vomit of camp narcissism, it just pours out of him. Me me me, sleep with me me me. Then he says something about the exaggerated way people in shops look away when you do your pin number (7263 in his case), like Duran Duran: Wild Boys, Wild Boys. And it's impossible not to laugh.

Then he wonders if, for Macaulay Culkin, Michael Jackson's Neverland was Michael Jackson's Sometimes Land. I know puns haven't been funny for about 30 years, but he's found the exception to the rule, and I'm laughing again. And he keeps it up for an hour ... no, not like that! But yes, like that too I imagine, just ask your girlfriend. Or mine. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.