Phoenix Nights

The fire and safety officer tries to close down the pub.

Brian and Jerry visit a fire safety day for club owners, which is being taken by convicted dog molester Keith Lard! Keith tries in vain to make everyone aware of the dangers but keeps getting dog jibes from the crowd, mostly due to Den Perry.

Lard forces The Phoenix to close as it is not up to standard, however Brian manages to get the club re-opened after blackmailing Lard using forged photos of him and dogs.

Meanwhile a psychic in town manages to offend everyone in The Phoenix before getting knocked out by an unhappy punter, and Brian fakes a heart attack to try and escape a speeding fine.