One Foot In The Grave

Victor bemoans the commercialism of Christmas and ponders whether it ever had a deeper, spiritual meaning. He decides to help the vicar feed the homeless on Christmas Day, but it doesn't prove to be quite the uplifting, nourishing experience he'd hoped for...

Victor is playing a board game with his mother-in-law over the phone and is being a typically angry loser. He becomes angrier when a delivery of garden gnomes arrives; he gets 262 more than he wanted and is threatened with being charged for the lot of them on a sale and return basis, so they have to be stored all over the house in weird and wonderful places! Victor goes to the video store and is highly sarcastic to the woman, losing yet another friend.

Meanwhile, Pippa's dad, a vicar, is staying with Pippa and Patrick, and shares with Margaret how he's having a crisis of faith and will be leaving ministry because a loyal parishioner's husband is missing presumed dead. Victor feels guilty when he realises this is the woman he was rude to in the video store. A very expensive bottle of wine is delivered to the Meldrews' which was meant to be for Pippa's dad; but Victor pours it into the bubble and squeak. Victor fills the bottle with cheap plonk, but the cork flies off into Pippa's dad. In revenge, Patrick shoots all the garden gnomes to smithereens just as they're about to be driven away.