One Foot In The Grave

Victor's outing to photograph badgers ends with him being mugged. Mrs Birkett comes to regret calling at the Meldrews' to collect items for a jumble sale, and Victor finds a dead cat in the freezer.

Victor and Margaret return from hospital, where he's been treated for head wounds after being beaten by a couple of local yobs whilst mugging him for his new camera (not to mention coat and wallet). There is little peace at home, however, as the central heating is playing up and making an awful clanking noise; whilst Margaret smells something horrific, but only in a certain spot next to the sitting room sideboard.

Whilst she heads out to visit the ill Mr Birkett, Margaret leaves his wife to rifle through their loft for a jumble sale. Victor returns home ahead of the plumber he has called to investigate the banging, and unwittingly shuts Mrs Birkett in the loft. Naturally, her attempts to attract attention to her situation simply sound like the still-malfunctioning heating from downstairs! When she doesn't return home, Margaret stays to look after Mr Birkett overnight, and it's not until later the next morning that they put two and two together...

Later on, Victor convenes a meeting with their neighbours to discuss the increase in antisocial behaviour locally. The get-together is not particularly fruitful but he encourages everyone to carry fake weapons of some kind as a deterrent. Stashing a starting pistol in his hold-all, the next day sees Victor at the local market to replace his stolen clothing. He stumbles across what seems to be his exact own tweed jacket, and angrily threatens the stallholder.

On his way home he meets Jean, who proudly brandishes a hand grenade her dog has dug up. When she pulls out the pin, he panics, hurls it over a fence, and drops to the ground for cover. A pair of teenage onlookers mistake this for a medical collapse and attempt to conduct CPR...