Nearest And Dearest

All the staff are off ill so Nellie enlists the help of Walter and Lily to produce the pickles. But nothing involving them is as easy as it should be!

Everyone at the factory is off with a touch of "absenteeism" so Eli will have to forego his race meeting at Haydock Park and get in that pickling shed. They've got "gherkins over here, and red cabbage over there, the pickles must get through".

Thankfully he's not single-handed as Nellie has recruited Lily and Walter to come and help. It's not long before the shed is ringing to the sounds of "Pickles, jar, vinegar, lid!"

When they all break for lunch, Walter reveals that he has lost his teeth, and Eli thinks he's lost them in the factory, giving rise to a new "quality tested Pledge's Purer Pickles product, Pickled Dentures!" They start searching the cabbages and beetroots, but if the teeth aren't found, it won't be only Walter living on porridge; they'll all be doing porridge, in Strangeways.

The problem is, Stan has delivered all the jars pickled that morning, and Walter's false choppers could be in any of them. They manage to get all but two back: one is at the pub, and one sold to Mrs Jones at number 16.

Despite Eli's best efforts, Nellie is the one going to the pub where she chomps her way through a whole jar of pickles, along with half a bottle of sweet sherry wine. Eli gets chatted up by Mrs Jones, only to be interrupted by her husband, who hits him with the jar!

All their troubles are in vain though, as it turns out the missing dentures were in Walter's pocket all the time.