Monkey Trousers

Monkey Trousers mesmerises Star Search judges Louis Walsh and Foxy with his nonverbal Tourettism, and we're introduced to the marvel that is Bullwinkle face cream.

The Sneezer does his mucous thing all over his newly-wed wife.

Professional Footballers' Wives is sponsored by Norsons Meths ('the sportsman's meths'); the pathologically sweary chef Chris Graham starts a new slot on PMTV; and the astronauts of Whippet infuriate mission control at the Geordie Space Centre.

The Croc Botherer dives on a rare butterfly whilst looking for an effeminate 'dile; Roy of Roy's Toys crafts a haunting tale of a struggling toy farm; and Alasdair the estate agent gets pushed into a swimming pool.

Finally, the Vicar is bemused by the bush that burned and was not consumed, and some loud cops argue over who's got the balls for the McFarlane case.