Have I Got News For You

Black Mirror creator Charlie Brooker makes a return to the host's chair. Grayson Perry and Angela Barnes, who makes her first appearance on the show, are the guests.

It has been a busy week for Sir Keir Starmer's Labour government, who consulted the British public on plans for reform of the NHS, whilst being accused by Donald Trump's Republican party of interfering in the US election.

With the US presidential election just a week and a half away, Labour activists have volunteered canvassing support in key battleground states, prompting Donald Trump's campaign to file a Federal Election Commission complaint against Labour, citing 'blatant foreign interference'.

Ian Hislop, however, was quick to point out that this was a practise with a long tradition, and Trump's complaint, he felt, was a distraction from his own electoral tactics this week - with Elon Musk's help, the Republican campaign has been offering voters a daily chance to win $1m if they pledge support to Trump.

"Aren't they basically just door knockers and canvassers? The idea they could make any difference... if door knocking worked, then for a start, we'd all be Jehovah's Witnesses with excellent broadband," joked Angela Barnes.

"It's a manoeuvre to influence the election in favour of the Democrats, it's been dubbed 'Operation Zero Difference'" replied host Charlie Brooker.

"Trump made this an issue," Hislop pointed out. "The week that 100 Labour volunteers coming over... this is the same week that Elon Musk is offering $1m to any voter... it's essentially an enormous bribe to the electorate. So Trump is saying 'what about these volunteers from Britain? They're going to make all the difference...'"

"You enter a lottery by signing a petition supporting Trump - it's a bit of a loophole - and you have to be registered to vote in a swing state. And then you get entry to a prize draw to win $1m, and he's doing this every day until the election," clarified Brooker.

"Do you know who I feel for with this story.... I think of poor old Stormy Daniels sitting at home watching this, going 'they just have to sign a petition and they get $1m?! I only got $130k and you don't want to know what I had to do...'" laughed Barnes.

"The Republicans have made an official complaint about what they're saying is Labour interference. They called it 'blatant foreign interference by the far left'" Brooker said.

"Starmer... 'the far left', he must be so flattered. All those Corbynites turning in their grave!" laughed Hislop, continuing, "The Conservative party have frequently sent over volunteers. John Major sent over people to help George Bush get in. There is a tradition of doing this, it's just when the Labour party do it, Trump turns it into an issue, cause he's worried about his actual interference with the election on the side."

"This is the Trump campaign's accusation that Labour is interfering in the US presidential election. 100 Labour party activists are heading to America, intent on swinging the election for the Democrats, although they'll spend the first week desperately trying to find somewhere in Alabama that serves quinoa salad," joked Brooker.

Later in the episode, attention turned back to domestic politics, with the Labour government inviting members of the public this week to share their policy ideas for the NHS, as part of a new 10-year plan for the health service. The scheme from Health Secretary Wes Streeting has provided a new example of the need to be cautious about letting the British public weigh in on serious decisions, as a number of joke suggestions were immediately submitted.

"This is Health Secretary Wes Streeting, who has a big idea to fix the NHS. Do you know what it is?" asked Brooker.

"He's saying he's found a way to stop the cracks showing in the NHS - is that to sew up the backs of those gowns?" joked Barnes.

"This is the consultation..." Hislop said.

"And of course the public have responded in their usual, glorious, British way by suggesting things like 'every hospital should have a Wetherspoons'," laughed Sir Grayson Perry.

"Do you know some of the other things that the public suggested?" asked Brooker.

"They suggested that ambulances didn't have an alarm, but they had Danny Dyer shouting..." smiled Hislop.

"Out the way...! Eat less chips you fat bastard!" Grayson Perry chipped in, impersonating Danny Dyer.

"They include: 'Building a Wetherspoons in every hospital. Making a dog Health Secretary. Offering lobotomies to the population of Birmingham... which I thought had already happened. Changing all ambulance sirens to Danny Dyer shouting 'nee-naw'. And firing Wes Streeting out of a cannon," listed Brooker, laughing. "Can you think of any other ways to improve the nation's health?"

"Pay junior doctors a decent whack," replied Barnes. "I read somewhere that junior doctors get paid less than an IT graduate. And you can't just turn a life support machine on and off again."