Have I Got News For You

In the first new episode of HIGNFY since Labour moved in to Downing Street, while the Tories try to decide on a new party leader, and the US election moves ever closer, the teams weren't short of big news stories this week and from over the summer to get stuck straight into.

It hasn't been an easy start for Labour's tenure in government, with Sir Keir Starmer and his team being put under the spotlight for accepting over £800,000 in gifts since they took office. Ian Hislop gave his thoughts.

"Immediately Keir Starmer gets in and lots of people have said 'you shouldn't take these freebies, you're going to get into trouble...' but, you know... he's a lawyer... he doesn't listen... you can't really spend years attacking the Tories for sleaze and then the first thing that happens is one of your major donors is giving you all this stuff for free... and it's glasses... you just think, don't walk straight into it" Hislop despaired.

"He should have gone to Specsavers, is what you're saying," Merton quipped.

"It's just like the previous Labour government. If you remember the Blair government ran straight into Bernie Ecclestone... major donor giving them a load of money and changing policy. It's at worst disappointing and b) it's the same again... it's not popular but it is what's happening..." said Hislop.

"Lord Alli is a major donor to the Labour Party... he gave them £500,000 earlier on and now he's given them suits and glasses and let them use his flat... and he's doing it for nothing! He doesn't want anything in return...!" Hislop continued, sceptically.

"Well he did get to have a pass, didn't he, to Downing Street, during the transition period, which they then took away from him. It was never really explained what he was there for, apart from just sort of vibing... I kinda imagine that he's a bit like Bez in the Happy Mondays... and he's just there to keep the energy up," joked Helen Lewis.

"Yeah, that's how I see him..." Hislop laughed, confused.

Later in the episode, the panel took great delight in looking back at Starmer's speech at the Labour Party conference last month, in which he made a now infamous gaffe in which he mistakenly referred to 'hostages' as 'sausages'.

"I did feel for him because he gave a very long speech and you thought, 'no one will remember anything about that apart from when he said 'we're going to bring the sausages home'," laughed Lewis.

"I think what happened there is sometimes when I come on the television my mates will be like, 'can you get the word 'unicycle' in?'" started comedian Chloe Petts.

"Which you've just done," Merton pointed out.

"James, you owe me a tenner mate," Petts laughed.

"Unicycle. I'll have a tenner as well," quipped Merton.

"So I think what's happened here is his mate, Labour peer Waheed Alli, has gone 'if you say sausages in your next speech I'll give you 16 grand'... and he knew that 'hostages' was coming up and he saw an opportunity...!" joked Petts.

"The night Keir did that I was doing an event with John McCarthy, who actually had been a hostage in Lebanon... and I thought oh no, this is really bad taste, I don't know what's going to happen. John McCarthy stood up and said, 'As a former sausage...'" laughed Hislop.

"This is the end of Keir Starmer's honeymoon period. Just three months and a majority of voters already think Labour will lose the next election. Put it this way, there are cruise ships in Belfast that have got off to a better start," joked Bridges.

This week has also seen the Conservative Party conference take place in Birmingham, as the party sets out to decide on a new leader following general election defeat. Robert Jenrick has emerged as the front runner.

"So who are these people, do you know?" Merton asked.

"Not a clue," Petts quipped.

"I'm not sure some of them know..." Hislop agreed.

"Yeah, this is the Conservative Party conference in Birmingham... the hottest ticket in town," laughed Bridges.

"But it's very peculiar, the party that's just won with a thumping majority is absolutely miserable... and the ones that have been wiped out and have got no chance for the next 50 decades are going 'this is great!'" pointed out Hislop. "I actually think the Tories do like being in opposition, because it means they can attack the people they really hate... which is each other! But they're certainly thrilled, they thought they had a great conference, didn't they?"

"I've got a problem because as a citizen of a democracy I want them to have a really good leader, right? But as a journalist and someone who does comedy panel shows, I want it to be Robert Jenrick," joked Lewis.

"Which one was he?" asked Merton.

"One of his kids' middle names is 'Thatcher'," replied Lewis. "He said 'I understand women because I've got three daughters, a wife, and my two dogs are female...' That's what this country deserves!"