Have I Got News For You

Victoria Coren Mitchell hosts, with news presenter Sophy Ridge and comedian Chris McCausland on the panel.

Following last week's general election announcement, this week marked the first full week of campaigning up and down the country for the major political parties, with a plethora of new policy announcements, further defections and resignations, and internal debates about candidate selection.

One of the biggest stories to rumble on this week was the Labour row over Diane Abbott, and whether she would be allowed to run as the Labour candidate in Hackney, following her suspension from the party last April. Earlier in the week, Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer said that no decision had been taken to bar her, but Sky News's Sophy Ridge confirmed on the panel that she had heard direct from Abbott to say that she'd been blocked from standing as a Labour MP. However, after days of speculation, Starmer finally clarified on Friday afternoon that Abbott was 'free to go forward as a Labour candidate'.

Coren Mitchell pointed out that the confusion this week has been yet another example of the major parties managing their election campaigns "so incompetently", saying "it's pitiful".

"What's Diane Abbott doing?" asked Hislop.

"It's a bit of a difficult one this one, isn't it?" replied Sophy Ridge, continuing, "It's still a bit unclear. It all kind of started with this Times story that said that Diane Abbott had been blocked from standing as an MP for the Labour Party. I then got a message at about 7:30pm on Tuesday evening from a Labour source saying that she'd been given the whip back. OK, you think, that's going in one direction, can't quite be true. Then I woke up the next morning to a 6:30am message from Diane Abbott saying 'actually, The Times story is true, I have been blocked from standing as a Labour MP and no one from the Labour Party has contacted me as of now'. So I am unclear."

"So one of your sources was Diane Abbott?" Hislop enquired.

"Yeah, on the record, yeah," Ridge replied.

"Did you trust it?" quipped Hislop, before asking, "Is she going to be the MP for Hackney?"

"The fact that she has given a speech saying she will fight that seat, makes it much harder for the Labour Party now, right?" Ridge pointed out.

"And once again it's so incompetently done..." Coren Mitchell despaired. "The Labour Party have got one go at saying 'all right, yes she is, we want unity' or 'no she isn't, we love Diane'. Instead Keir Starmer's quote was 'No decision has been taken to bar Diane Abbott'. So there is a decision? You haven't taken it? Why are they so bad at it?! This is all I'm saying. One side is sending the guy to stand in the rain and at the Titanic. The other side can't even decide who their MPs are. And these are all people who think they can run the health service. It's pitiful."

"I think the only conclusion to this is 'vote Lib Dem'," chipped in Hislop.

As part of the Tory party's campaigning this week, Rishi Sunak's first major policy announcement was to propose the reintroduction of mandatory National Service for 18-year-olds, in a bid to help unite society.

"I mean, nobody really wants [National Service], so I don't know how that's going to be a vote catcher," Paul Merton pointed out.

"The less likely you are to do it, as in the older you are, the more you love the policy, basically. That's how it tends to go," Ridge concurred.

"It's compulsory but with no penalty if you don't do it, and nobody involved in making it happen wants it to happen," Chris McCausland quipped.

"Apart from that, it's going to be great. They need some policies, they think, to appeal to old people. The polls show that old people are joining Reform. So National Service? In. Pensions rising forever. They said at the beginning of the week that we're very concerned about national security and what we're going to do to protect ourselves against Russia and China is recruit some teenagers..." Hislop laughed.

"These teenagers have all spent so much time on Call of Duty that they think if you die you just reappear somewhere else..." joked McCausland.

"Don't you think it's weird that they're announcing any ideas at all? They've been in power for 14 years..." questioned Coren Mitchell. "My husband said it's like someone's asked Rishi Sunak 'what would you do if you were Prime Minister?' and he's eagerly answering, forgetting that he actually is..."

"It's like he's been on some kind of online random policy generator," joked McCausland.

"He announced this so quickly that James Cleverly, the Home Secretary, had to quickly clarify on Radio 4, 'Refusing mandatory National Service won't lead to prison,'" laughed Coren Mitchell.

"Cleverly actually said that volunteering will not be compulsory and then someone else said it will be compulsory, but it will be volunteering.... it can't be all of those things" said a confused Hislop.

"They're doing 'search and rescue'. The teenagers that turn up one weekend will be charged with finding the teenagers that got lost the previous weekend," joked McCausland.

"Home Secretary James Cleverly said that the National Service policy will help 'bottle the Blitz spirit seen during the pandemic'. I think if any one knows about bottles and spirits in the pandemic, it's the Government, isn't it?" joked Coren Mitchell.