Have I Got News For You

Bill Bailey hosts, joined by stand-up Daliso Chaponda, and staff writer at the Atlantic, journalist Helen Lewis.

This week has seen the UK processing the fall out of last week's local elections, a further major party defection, resignation announcements and a new leader for the SNP announced. Whilst globally, Vladimir Putin was sworn in as Russia's President for a new six-year term and in the US, Stormy Daniels gave evidence at Donald Trump's hush money trial.

In what was perhaps the most surprising news story of the week however, MP for Dover Natalie Elphicke became the second Tory MP in recent weeks to defect to the Labour Party. In dramatic circumstances, she crossed the floor of the House of Commons just as PMQs was about to start on Wednesday, blindsiding Prime Minister Rishi Sunak. Known for her particularly right-wing views, Elphicke's defection has been met with some confusion and mixed reactions across Westminster.

"At the last minute, just before Prime Minister's Questions, she defected. She crossed the floor. Which is amusing because she's the MP for Dover and she's used to people crossing," quipped Ian Hislop.

"And also she was about as welcome as a surprise visit from Matt Hancock," joked Helen Lewis.

"You sound like you're speaking from experience?" prodded host Bill Bailey.

"A lady never kisses and tells," Lewis laughed.

"It was a surprise because she's defected to Labour and she's not a sort of centrist Tory... she's a sort of right wing headbanger... she was a member of the European Reform Group. She's really not considered anywhere near the Labour Party," pointed out Hislop.

"It doesn't seem to make any sense does it? Cause also she said she's going to be standing down at the next election, so why is she doing it?" asked Merton.

"Is she actually defecting, or is she a mole?" Daliso Chaponda wondered.

"She's only an MP because she took the job over from her husband, because he was arrested and then found guilty of various sexual offences. And she also had a go at the victims and said they were asking for it. And then she and some other MPs tried to nobble the judge by writing him letters. Helen's just thinking 'nobble' is a bit strong, isn't it? They made representations to the judge..." Hislop said, jokingly correcting himself.

"To influence his decision...? Go on, say it Ian!" laughed Merton.

"And she also said that her husband was 'an easy target' for women" said Lewis.

"Because he was attractive," Merton concurred.

"Yes, after he'd been convicted... and she has now apologised for that," pointed out Lewis.

"She only apologised today... bit late. So she's not 'top recruit' for a party... I mean if you were Keir Starmer, you could have said 'that's lovely, but no...'" Hislop said, continuing later, "He just looks a bit of a soft touch."

"Natalie Elphicke has in the past repeatedly called him 'Sir Softie'," Bailey concurred.

"So Keir Starmer's theory is that he needs to get all kinds of people to vote Labour, so getting the most bonkers right-wing person possible to join the party can show what a broad church they are," quipped Lewis.

Also in the news this week was an announcement from former chancellor Nadhim Zahawi, who said in a lengthy statement that he would be standing down as an MP at the next election. Having been MP for Stratford-upon-Avon for 14 years, he was sacked as Tory Party chairman last year after an inquiry found he failed to disclose that HMRC was investigating his tax affairs.

"What has reluctant taxpayer Nadhim Zahawi announced this week?" asked host Bailey.

"He's announced that he's going to be stepping down at the next election and in his resignation letter, he said that every morning as he shaves his head he thinks about his duty to his country," recalled Lewis.

"Have you ever thought that?" quipped Bailey, looking cheekily across to bald panellist Daliso Chaponda.

"Do you do you have to shave your head every morning?!" asked an incredulous Merton.

"How do I know?" laughed Lewis.

"Well, how would I know?" agreed Merton.

"How would I know?" Hislop joined in.

"I know..." said Chaponda, resignedly.

"Well he hasn't gone, has he - he's just said he's going to step down," Hislop said, getting things back on track.

"But they never step down, they all get a job somewhere don't they?" pointed out Bailey.

"Well, he might have a problem 'cause if you remember he was removed as Chairman of the Conservative Party because he hadn't mentioned when he was Chancellor that he was being investigated by HMRC... it's the sort of thing you forget very easily when you're... Chancellor of the Exchequer," Hislop pointed out sarcastically.

Later in the episode, attention turned to Russia, where Vladimir Putin this week took the oath of office and was sworn in as Russia's President for a new six-year term.

"Much to everybody's surprise, Vladimir Putin has become whichever he is - president, prime minister, lord and ruler - of Russia again for the fifth time," said Merton.

"Yes, a shock win!" Bailey quipped.

"And still all the pomp and circumstance..." Chaponda pointed out.

"They can do a rigged election pretty well, can't they?" laughed Bailey.

"I'm African... and they're top notch! A whole other level," Chaponda jokingly agreed.

"He keeps changing the constitution, so at this rate he's still going to be in charge of Russia when he's 83. Could you imagine any other country having that?" joked Hislop.