Have I Got News For You

Writer and broadcaster Kirsty Young takes up the reins as host. Writer and director Armando Iannucci and comedian Phil Wang join team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop to poke fun at the week's headlines.

It may be the final episode of the current series, but the news hasn't let up as we get nearer to Christmas, so it was as busy a show as ever for the panellists this week - Rishi Sunak giving evidence at the Covid Inquiry, the vote on his Rwanda policy in the Commons, the COP28 summit in Dubai and Vladimir Putin announcing that he will be running for re-election.

"Vladimir Putin is running for President again," said host Kirsty Young.

"He's running for re-election, in a tightly run race," quipped Armando Iannucci, "His slogan is 'I probably won't kill you'..."

"I wonder what election night coverage is like in Russia... pretty quick," replied comedian Phil Wang.

"There's an exit poll, in which the opposition leave through a window" joked Ian Hislop.

"Why has he chosen this week to announce that he's running for another term?" asked Young.

"This is when he does his end of year press conference, I think," said Iannucci.

"He hasn't done one for a few years. He did four hours of answering questions. You can ask anything you like... if you don't want to live," laughed Hislop.

"According to Newsweek, some of the things he got thrown were 'tell us when our lives get better' and 'when will the war end?'. To which Putin replied 'what war?'," joked Young. "He also got asked 'If Crimea is part of Russia, why does my mobile network switch on roaming after crossing the bridge to Crimea?'. Putin told the fellow to pop on his location services and someone would be along to help him out almost immediately."

Also on the agenda this week was the House of Commons vote on Rishi Sunak's Rwanda bill, which passed with no Conservative MPs voting against it, despite a lot of MPs instead abstaining.

"This is the Rwanda vote. The Tory party continues to play chicken with itself over a policy it knows won't happen... and even if it did happen, wouldn't work. The UK could only send 200 people a year to Rwanda. That's not even the number of Home Secretaries we've had in a year," joked Phil Wang.

"It's the end of a great week for Rishi Sunak as he emerges from the Rwanda debate with his MPs under complete control and his integrity entirely intact. The Rwanda bill was passed with no Conservative MPs actually voting against. A lot of them abstained... Do we know what happens next?" asked Young.

"Yes... nothing..." quipped Hislop.

"They were saying 'could you tighten it up?' and he said it can't be tightened any further. But he did say it was already 95% watertight... but so was the Titanic!" joked Iannucci, "So there's trouble ahead..."

The panel also found time this week to discuss the COP28 Summit taking place that has been taking place in Dubai.

"I don't know much about this is I've been all week in pantomime, where the baddies get flushed down the loo at the end of the show and the goodies succeed, unlike the real world, unfortunately. So yeah, off you go...." laughed Paul Merton, signalling to his teammate Iannucci to take over.

"Well that is sort of what happened," replied Iannucci, "They tried to save the world. They've come up with an agreement but it's been watered down. Rather like the planet will be if they don't get this sorted."

"It's sort of pantomime, isn't it? 'We're going to phase out fossil fuels'..." Hislop started.

"Oh no we're not!" Merton and Hislop cried together.

"Yes, they've changed the language on fossil fuels, so they're going to 'transition' from fossil fuels," Iannucci pointed out.

"It's almost as if it was held in Dubai... I mean, that's like having an AA meeting in Wetherspoons" quipped Wang.

"According to ITV News, the debates amongst COP delegates was so intense that talks went on until 3am... burning the midnight oil...." joked Kirsty Young.