Have I Got News For You

Clive Myrie takes to the host's chair, whilst Munya Chawawa and Helen Lewis join Ian and Paul to discuss the week's news stories.

It has been an incredibly busy week of news surrounding world leaders, with Donald Trump's arrest over his handling of classified national security documents, Nicola Sturgeon's arrest by police investigating allegations of financial misconduct within the SNP, and the passing of Italy's controversial former PM Silvio Berlusconi.

But the big political story dominating headlines this week was Boris Johnson's resignation as an MP, and the subsequent release of the covid inquiry findings that he deliberately misled Parliament over lockdown parties.

"This round should be 'Reasons To Be Cheerful'," quipped Ian Hislop, continuing, "Yes, it's been a terrific day. The sun is out, and so is he. The Privileges Committee have found that Boris Johnson did deliberately lie. He lied at the time to the Commons, he lied about lying later, he lied about whether he lied about the lying, he lied at every point and he ended up calling the Committee liars. He got into a terrific tantrum, had a go at everyone and said it was a 'witch hunt' - which it isn't if you are a witch. He says everyone has behaved incredibly badly, except himself. But he's gone, he's gone!"

"...but he's here tonight!" joked Paul Merton, pointing out to the studio wings.

"There was a brilliant tweet from one of his supporters Sir James Duddridge, saying 'What do people want? Do they want him put in the stocks? Do they want people pelting him with rotten eggs?' You thought 'why ask a question you already know the answer to'" laughed Helen Lewis, continuing, "He would have got a 90 day suspension from the Commons, although they might now take away his free pass to the Parliamentary Estate, which you are normally entitled to as an MP. So he won't be able to get reduced price canteen food... that's how we do it in Britain!"

"90 days was increased from 20 wasn't it, because of the way he had attacked the committee once he'd got advanced copy of it last week," Merton pointed out.

"Yeah, he went into full 'Trump' mode. I was surprised his supporters weren't wearing antlers and outside the House of Commons, storming it with AK47s," joked Hislop.

"At least with 90 days, he can have one day of quality time per child," quipped Munya Chawawa.

The panel also discussed the former PM's resignation honours list, which has caused a stir this week, with Ian Hislop arguing that it should be declared null and void following the release of the covid inquiry findings.

"The only people who are defending Boris are the people who he gave an honour three days ago. There is a case I think for suggesting that the political honours that he gave out should all be nulled," argued Hislop.

"There's a coterie of weirdness about him isn't there. People like Jacob Rees-Mogg, Nadine Dorries, Michael Fabricant. It's like the human version of 'The Muppets'," joked Merton.

"Everything Johnson touches turns to sh*t really. The honours system is the last of them. Normally, we go through the honours list looking for people who are dodgy. This year we went through looking for anyone who wasn't. I mean, the people he gave honours to... there was a bloke called 'Party Marty'... I wonder what he was in charge of?" Hislop replied.

"My favourite of all the honours is the one for the parliamentary hairdresser, the one who did Boris's hair. She got an MBE! Imagine what she could have got if she'd been any good!" joked Lewis.

"What has proved controversial about the honour awarded to Charlotte Owen?" asked host Myrie.

"She's 29 years-old. So six years ago she was an intern, now she's going to make our laws for the next half century," pointed out Lewis.

"She's the youngest peer ever appointed," Hislop agreed.

"No one knows why she has got this honour. She's only 29 and she has served less than two years in the policy unit at Number 10," Myrie stated.

"Did she do the least damage of anyone there?" joked Hislop.