Have I Got News For You

Jo Brand guest hosts, joined on the panels by broadcaster Robert Peston and TV presenter Rylan, who makes his first appearance on the programme.

Joining the regular team captains Ian Hislop and Paul Merton, the series continued in studio, with a live, socially distanced studio audience, in the week that saw the government unveil plans for swapping central heating for eco heat pumps, the Queen expressing her views on global climate change action, Prince William donning a velvet green tuxedo and the city of Vienna joining OnlyFans.

This week's programme also had the panel talking about the government's proposed plans for combatting the rise in COVID cases across the country, after they hit the highest numbers since July.

"The government keep saying we're going to carry on as normal, and normal for us is to do nothing until just before it's too late, and then panic and change. So when I listened to a number of government ministers saying there is no way there's going to be another lockdown, I just went out and bought some toilet rolls" laughed Ian.

"Does anybody know the difference between Plan B, Plan B+ and Plan C? Plan B+, also called Plan C, is a lockdown similar to last November. Can anyone remember what that was? I can't remember anything!" asked Jo Brand.

"November's lockdown was finite, it was two weeks. Do you remember what happened after last year's really short lockdown? Christmas was completely... destroyed" Robert Peston pointed out.

"Oh here we go. I was really looking forward to meeting you!" laughed Rylan about Peston's downbeat comments on the COVID situation.

"We don't know what they're going to do. I mean, they keep saying day by day we'll look at the figures, we'll look at the facts and then we'll make a decision," said Hislop.

"We had the Health Secretary on stage yesterday saying, 'The NHS is fine! They're coping!' Were you reassured?" asked Peston.

"Well, I mean, not after meeting you!" Rylan joked.

"Do you know what the new strain of COVID is called?" asked Brand.

"I do.. it's AY.4.2." said Peston.

"It is AY.4.2. Which sounds a bit like a Geordie confirming an earthquake...." quipped Brand.

Later on in the programme, the panel's attention turned to the latest shortage the country has been experiencing: nightclub bouncers.

"Due to COVID and the shortages, why might it be easier to get into a club this year? When you go into a club, what's there to make it difficult for you?" asked Brand.

"The music for me," joked Hislop.

"There's a shortage of bouncers," pointed out Merton.

"So why is there a shortage of bouncers?" Hislop asked.

"There's not enough of them," quipped Merton.

"I don't think there's a shortage in Essex. Everyone's a bouncer. There's a bouncer every three doors along. 'What do you do for a job?' 'Bouncer.' Genuinely," joked Rylan.

"Can you have one in your own home?" asked Hislop.

"How do you know I haven't? And I saw you outside on the lawn the other morning!" Rylan laughed with Hislop.

"Economists' explanation for why there's such a shortage of everything is known as the great supply chain crisis, which means that things like tankers are in the wrong part the world, but obviously bouncers are in Essex!" said Peston.

"And there's no lorries to take the bouncers to other bits of the country! Cause you can get about 1000 of them in the back of one of those big trucks, can't you?" joked Hislop.

"Well they can't get into the truck, as the truck driver says 'You're not coming in here dressed like that'," quipped Merton.